Headlies: Brooke Hogan Excited To Start Doing Whatever It Is She Actually Does

13 Submitted by on Sat, 17 August 2013, 08:30


Tampa Bay, FL – Following the news of her firing, TNA Knockouts Executive Brooke Hogan has stated that she is looking forward to her future projects.

In a press conference, Hogan, real name Brooke Ellen Bollea, said, “This chapter in my life is closing, but I am looking forward to the next one. I have been blessed with a wildly successful career in various forms of entertainment. I have starred in two great reality shows and released two studio albums. I’m huge in the Czech Republic. I can’t even set foot in Kazakhstan without being mobbed. I have many passions in my life and I am going to go follow them.”

When questioned by a reporter what those passions specifically were, Hogan reflected for a moment before saying, “Well, I like shoes. Maybe I can do something with shoes. I also like chicken. Maybe I can work with chicken somehow. Oh! I heard they’re doing a sequel to Sharknado. Maybe I could be one of the sharknados.”

TNA released a brief statement saying, “TNA would like to thank Brooke for her year of service with the company. We wish her the best of luck in her future whatevers.”

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
13 Responses to "Headlies: Brooke Hogan Excited To Start Doing Whatever It Is She Actually Does"
  1. Ha! Excellent. It’s funny, because it’s true.

  2. She doesn’t seem to be very good at any one thing (singing, acting, emoting).

  3. AlexanAdru says:

    Good riddance

  4. She’s already been in THREE shark movies, two in the same year! She probably should be one of the sharknados.

  5. Thomas Moffatt says:

    It’s shame that, as they claim, WWE does not rip off TNA as this might have resulted in Stephanie McMahon being fired…

    • Jerichoholic Ninja says:

      For Stephanie to be fired, she’d have to be a lousy writer, be a terrible character, have ratings tank on her watch, chase away fans with bad programs, push unlikeable wrestlers and push a family member to be absolutely dominant to the delight of few in the audience. If she did all of that, she probably would be fired.

      Oh wait.

  6. RD Reynolds says:

    “Future whatever’s”!!!!!!!!! ~HOWLING~

  7. 80's Guy says:

    I was buying some autographed wrestling trading cards off of a guy on Ebay, and he also had a Brooke Hogan signed cd. Since I was already getting a number of cards (gotta buy ’em from the same person to save on shipping, ya know) I went ahead and got that too.

    Only an extra .99 cents! Figured that wasn’t too much of an amount to drop on it. lol

  8. Adam X says:

    The other Jericho Security Guard who wasn’t Raplhus may have made one of the best postings we’ve ever had on the internet.

  9. Peter says:

    She can go back to modeling teeth grills with Paul Wall.

  10. RSing says:

    Shark-proof chicken shoes?

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