Headlies: Bo Dallas Is Standing Right Behind You

16 Submitted by on Mon, 05 August 2013, 09:00

GIF and nightmares provided by Christian Wagner

Seriously, Right Behind You – Ok, don’t look, but NXT champion Bo Dallas is standing right behind you.

Yeah, I have no idea why, but he’s like right there. No, he’s not doing anything, he’s just kind of standing there and staring. And breathing really hard. Ugh, this is so weird and creepy. Maybe if we ignore him, he’ll go away.

Crap, that didn’t work. Maybe if we start booing him, he’ll leave.

That didn’t work either. He clearly didn’t get the message that we don’t like him. Uh oh, I think he’s actually starting to get closer. Try to make yourself look bigger. It might scare him off.

No luck. Okay, just be cool. He’s starting to smile and bare his teeth.

Now he’s smelling your hair. This isn’t good. No, don’t turn around. If you make eye contact, he may take that as a challenge. You never want to take Bo Dallas on in a fight. You’ll die of boredom. Or botches.

I wish his brother Bray Wyatt was here. He could use his charisma to scare Bo off.

Alright, I have an idea. I’m going to throw the WWE European Championship belt and when Bo goes after it, we make a break for it. Yeah, I know the European title hasn’t been used since 2002, but he doesn’t know that. He’ll just see a shiny prop and think it’ll mean a huge push.

You ready?


Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
16 Responses to "Headlies: Bo Dallas Is Standing Right Behind You"
  1. Tempest_Fennac says:

    I’ve never seen him in action, but I’m guessing from this and the “training to be the next John Cena” comment in the Power Crappings the other week that he isn’t particularly competent?

    • Falcone says:

      Thats not it at all. He’s not BAD in the ring. Nothing to write home about, but he doesn’t stink the building out.

      However, his gimmick thus far is just white bread babyface living off family lineage, much like one Rocky Miavia. It didn’t work for Rocky, and it’s not working for Bo, but luckily for Bo, he may have found his true calling as an annoying heel as a result.

      • Tempest_Fennac says:

        That would make sense. Do you think that was the WWE’s plan all along considering how well Rocky Miavia went over?

  2. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:


  3. Emerson Witner says:

    I have actually become a fan of his over the top campiness. I swear he has to be turning heel.

  4. Sir Thomas says:

    Wait a minute. If Bo Dallas is behind me, then who’s living in my closet? Oh man, this house just got scarier!

  5. TMS says:

    Well that explains why I couldn’t sleep last night.

  6. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Has there ever been a worse face than Bo Dallas? Time for WC to ask the question…

  7. TK says:

    Remember if you need to shoot a NERF gun at Bo to get him off your back without any ramifications, simply shout “He’s coming right for us!”

  8. John Matrix says:

    Last night I said “Bo Dallas” five times while looking in a mirror and then Bo Dallas appeared behind me, breathing down my neck.

  9. Jozzy Von Rokkenstein says:

    Bo Dallas is a son-of-a-bitch! Did I ever tell you about the time Bo Dallas wrestled an 11lb trout out of the hands of a hungry, and angry grizzly bear!!?? He took that hairy beast down with a leg scissors then read Goldilocks and the Three Bears to it, rendering it unconscious! To Bo Dallas!!!

  10. CarlMarksGuy says:

    Though to be fair, I like the wrestler naming scheme that gave us “Bo Dallas”:

    [teenage mutant ninja turtle weapon] + [popular 1980s TV show]

    It’s much better than whatever method they used for “Husky Harris” and “Cassius Ohno,” and hopefully in the future we can look forwards to wrestlers like “Nunchuk Cheers”, “Sai Family Ties” and “Katana Cosby.”

  11. Mr Maddog says:

    Don’t blink. Blink and you’re bored. Don’t turn your back. Don’t look away. And don’t blink. Good Luck.

  12. Ron says:

    Bo dallas exsteme old school & new school ecw brawl

leave a comment