Headlies: AJ Styles Falls Off The Edge Of The Earth During Championship Match

2 Submitted by on Mon, 16 September 2019, 08:00

Charlotte, NC – All known scientific facts were called into question last night after United States champion AJ Styles fell off the edge of the Earth and plunged into the universal void.

The improbable event occurred during Styles’s match with Cedric Alexander at Clash Of Champions. The back-and-forth match displayed amazing athleticism between both performers. The see-saw battle brought fans to a fever pitch as Styles prepared to deliver his trademark Phenomenal Forearm.

As he has done countless times, Styles sprang off the top rope. A slight miscalculation of strength, velocity, and angles led to Styles overshooting his opponent, the ring, and the curvature of the planet. Seeing as how Styles disappeared into the inky blackness of eternity, the referee naturally counted him out.

Styles has been accused by several people, including Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton, of being a Flat Earther. While Styles has denied believing our world is flat, Styles has said “there’s just some things about it that make sense.”

“I’ll bet his hair looks magnificent while he’s floating aimlessly through space,” said Orton on Twitter.

“It’s…it’s not possible,” said NASA scientist Dr. Elena Kuznetsov. “We know the Earth is round. It is a proven, scientific fact. Somehow, Mr. Styles has defied all the laws of physics and reality.”

“The rules are very clear,” said Vince McMahon after the match. “The championship cannot change hands on a count-out. AJ Styles remains the United States champion and has thirty days to return to our planet to defend it.”

If he is able to return and has not asphyxiated, Styles will once again face Alexander at Hell In A Cell in a “Loser Leaves Reality” match.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
2 Responses to "Headlies: AJ Styles Falls Off The Edge Of The Earth During Championship Match"
  1. CF says:

    Great A’Tuin could not be reached for comment.

    (Oh, come on — *someone* was going to have to make *THAT* Reference. 😉 )

  2. Ruddy Rudy Polka says:

    looks like AJ might run into Max Moon!

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