Headlies: AEW Signs 14-Year-Old After Feuding With Jim Cornette

22 Submitted by on Mon, 26 August 2019, 08:00

Tampa Bay, FL – All Elite Wrestling have announced that they have signed 14-year-old Jaxxon Pfefer to a multi-year contract after seeing him fight with Jim Cornette on Twitter.

The feud began yesterday morning after Pfefer tweeted a video of several AEW wrestlers playfully giving and no-selling each other’s finishing moves and tagged Cornette. Naturally, Cornette derided the participants and their unserious nature, creating an opening for the antagonistic teenager.

“I knew it would make him mad, so that’s why I did it,” said Pfefer whose previous claim to fame was a TikTok video performing Fornite dances to No Way Jose’s theme. “I told him he was old and stupid. I also said that everyone knows it’s fake, so it doesn’t matter. ”

Naturally, Cornette responded with an avalanche of tweets, calling Feffer every possible name imaginable and inventing several Pfefer ones. The back-and-forth lasted for hours with several wrestlers and reporters jumping in to the fray. Jaxxon now has a verified Twitter account and Cornette’s podcast passed The Joe Rogan Experience for most listens.

“We were really impressed with the way Jaxxon handled himself and think he would make a huge addition to All Elite,” said AEW executive and star Matt Jackson. “The way he made Cornette mad was really special. Not that we care about what Cornette thinks or says.”

“Not even a little bit!” chimed his brother Nick while refreshing Cornette’s Twitter account on his phone. “Even though he’s not trained in any sort of way, we still think Jaxxon will make an impact when AEW premiers. Can you imagine Jon Moxley slamming a 14-year-old kid into a pile of tacks, Fun-Tak, and Tic Tacs? That would make Cornette super mad!”

“Oh!” exclaimed Matt. “How about a 60-minute time-limit draw against Kenny Omega?!”

“I got it! Loser Retires Match against Jushin ‘Thunder’ Liger!” shouted executive vice president Cody Rhodes.

Doctors have recommended that Cornette be put on strict bed rest after hearing of AEW’s plans. They have also told him to limit his use of the word “motherfucker” to emergencies only.

Jaxxon Pfefer shirts have already been created and sold-out on AEW’s website. He has also been booked by Game Changer Wrestling to face Nick Gage in a First Blood match.

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From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
22 Responses to "Headlies: AEW Signs 14-Year-Old After Feuding With Jim Cornette"
  1. Big says:

    I do feel sorry for Corny for letting his emotions get the best of him. I can listen to that man talk about wrestling for hours and he has raised the bar on how to throw about the word motherf***er.

  2. Jerry says:

    Headlies: Survivor Series match Lawler, Cheesy, Queasy and Sleazy against Fiend, Mercy, Rabbit and Huskys (w/ manager Abby) announced

  3. John C says:

    Jaxxon will also become the third member of The Librarians and they will be crowned World’s Greatest Six Person Tag Team Champions. Jaxxon will score the winning fall over The Young Bucks & Cody after surviving 36 super kicks and 27 Meltzer Drivers after he executes a schoolboy on Matt Jackson.

  4. CF says:

    Next AEW PPV: Jim Cornette vs. Razorfist…. >:)

  5. Local Competitor says:

    This seems like the first step down the long road that leads to Vince Russo, AEW World Champion.

  6. Anthony J Sturgis says:

    If true it’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard…. if so AEW won’t be around too long. Come on AEW I’m pulling for you but trying to shit on jim cornette is just dumb I mean this man has sold out more arenas than you even know about listening to Jim might not be a bad thing . This bullshit mudshow indie shit will be a fad that fans lose interest in quickly and you wonder why only one company is making money

  7. Matt says:

    HAHAHAHA! This made me laugh so hard. I needed it. Thanks.

    PS. I got a new idea for Headlies. Iron Shiek vs Jim Cornette . Since they are both known for their internet ramblings. Better yet, Cornette admits his love for RUSSO. HAHAHAH! Corny would poop bricks! hahaha!

  8. Barronmore says:

    I laughed so hard on this one! So true…

  9. Mr Maddog says:

    AEW will also get that 9 year girl that beat Kenny Omega to replace the injured Jon Moxly…

  10. Ben Jerison says:

    Jim is like your drunk uncle who never tires himself of telling stories of how he used to be a famous rockstar and shits on the new music every time but now many people avoid him at parties since he constantly embarrasses himself in public and you can’t help shaking your head in disappointment.

    Jim’s trying to be relevant but can’t let go of the past since his beloved wrestling is no longer “real” like the 80’s.

    • Trekkie313 says:

      Jim is more relevant than many actual wrestlers from the late 70s and 80s. I don’t what you’re talking about.

      • Ben Jerison says:

        “I don’t what you’re talking about.” You sound like a broken clock.

        If by “more relevant” meaning bashing current wrestlers with talent and complains that the current product isn’t like the good old days online all day, then yes he is relevant.

    • Mitchell Lee Colburn says:

      Exactly. The guy’s a mark and it annoys the crap out of me.

  11. Acolyte of Glorious La Parka~ says:

    What he REALLY should have done is told Corny that he is a Trump supporter and that Vince Russo is the greatest wrestling writer in history, Bro.

    • Ben Jerison says:

      I want to see those fireworks in action when that happens.

    • Matt says:

      Acolyte Of Glorious La Parka,

      Are you trying to drive Corny off the deep end to a heart attack? Hahaha!

      If what you said happened then I’m getting on my knees to start praying cause that will be the end of the earth for sure!

  12. Mitchell Lee Colburn says:

    Cornette sucks just like every NWA southern wrasslin’ mark. And the AEW fanboys are garbage too before anyone comes at me.

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