Headlies: Alex Riley Turns Heel, Repackaged as Evil Pimp from Pat Benatar’s “Love is a Battlefield” Video

4 Submitted by on Thu, 21 February 2013, 21:59


Stamford, CT – Following a several month absence from WWE television, Alex Riley returned at tonight’s Smackdown tapings, defeating Zack Ryder via pinfall. However, the old happy go lucky Riley was gone, replaced by a heel few fans recognized.

Unless they watched a lot of MTV in the 1980’s, in which case they’d readily recognize his new persona: that of the evil pimp from Pat Benatar’s “Love is a Battlefield” video.

We were able to catch Riley in a dark night club following the show, where he simply said: “I am young. Heartache to heartache, I stand…no promises, no demands.”

When asked for further comment, he sneered, then matted his now greasy hair to his head and stated: “I am strong. No one can tell me I’m wrong. Searching my heart for so long…”

Sadly, before he could continue, he was scared off by a spiky haired, somewhat waifish looking prostitute shaking her flat chest at him in a violent manner.



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4 Responses to "Headlies: Alex Riley Turns Heel, Repackaged as Evil Pimp from Pat Benatar’s “Love is a Battlefield” Video"
  1. vxcvcv vcv says:

    Does Capt. Lou Albano play the disapproving dad? Oh, wrong 80’s video…

  2. Autrach Sejanoz says:

    This made me chuckle. Well done, Deal!

  3. Bone White says:

    She did ask him “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” but unfortunately he had already been eliminated.

  4. AK says:

    Considering the time period, Vince would probably green light this for today’s product. Figure Dolph Ziggler could use yet another repackaging.

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