WWE Network Further Ensures Wrestling Fans Will Aim to Get Disability From Work

5 Submitted by on Wed, 19 February 2014, 21:23

wwenet

 

As if the lure of every WWE, WCW, and ECW PPV that has ever existed (personally, I’m holding out for UWF Beach Brawl) being made available on the Network, WWE revealed a list of regularly scheduled programs that the streaming channel has to offer. Among the programs being made available:

-NXT

-Best of Raw and Smackdown, featuring memorable episodes

-Raw and Smackdown pre and post shows, which hopefully feature the same lit-up Ric Flair that made the Royal Rumble better than it deserved to be

-Countdown, similar to NFL Network’s Top Ten and MLB Network’s Prime 9

-The entire Hall of Fame ceremony, free of the edits WWE would attempt to make if it were on the USA Network (“He’s not inducted by a McMahon or a celebrity? We can cut it.”)

And more. So yeah, hit up your human resources manager and ask how much sick time you have. Not sure what your employer’s policy is on bartering blood for vacation days, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask.

(Follow Justin on Twitter. E-mail and all suggestions for ‘Crap Newz’ to him as well at wrestlecrapjrh@gmail.com)

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Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)
5 Responses to "WWE Network Further Ensures Wrestling Fans Will Aim to Get Disability From Work"
  1. John C says:

    They really couldn’t acquire the Heroes of Wrestling debacle? There had better be the old MSG, Boston Garden, etc. house shows and Saturday Night’s Main Events. My first old ppv to watch has to be Capital Combat, RoboCrap glory awaits.

    Everyone else admit what you want to tune into first.

    • CBCB says:

      WWE missed a golden opportunity in having the new RoboCop guest host Monday Night Raw…

      The first show I’d probably watch is Survivor Series 1998, the first PPV I attended live. Mostly known for the Deadly Game Tournament and The Rock’s first WWF Championship win, other highlights included Rock pinning Bossman in 3 or 4 seconds (which I think is still a record today), William Regal’s first (and maybe only) PPV appearance as “The Real Man’s Man”, Stone Cold beating Mankind out of his pants–literally–before losing to possibly the weakest chair shot I’ve ever seen, and fans chanting “HBK! HBK!” being rewarded with… Duane Gill. :D

      To complete my nostalgia trip, I’ll need a $25 “Brahma bull” t-shirt that’ll unravel less than 24 hours after purchase.

  2. Mister Forth says:

    May need to buy a lot of MREs & water.

  3. Alan says:

    Hopefully they’ll include Prime Time Wrestling at some point. I’ll check out the PPVs at first, mainly early WCW stuff I’ve never seen. I have 85-90% of WWF/E PPVs on VHS/DVD that I’ve seen a ton already. The one WWF PPV I’ll watch is the infamous Over the Edge 1999 to see what they edited out. I’ve watched the unedited version on YouTube and for all of the sick people out there, there is NO FOOTAGE OF OWEN’S FALL. They were running a vignette when he fell during the PPV. How everyone made it through that night after Owen’s horrific death I’ll never know.

  4. Down With OPC says:

    Don’t know if I will take time off for the Network, but it may make me want to drink more coffee at work.

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