Vince McMahon Informs Breathless World That CM Punk’s on Siesta

10 Submitted by on Thu, 20 February 2014, 16:58

punk

 

In accordance with the internet’s Defcon 12 coverage of CM Punk’s walkout (“CM Punk picks up girlfriend at airport”, “CM Punk poses for trading card photo”), it’s being widely reported that Vince McMahon briefly name-dropped the missing star at today’s investor conference call, with every single hanger-on dying to chomp at the succulent news nugget dangled before them.

McMahon’s statement: “He’s taking a sabbatical, let’s just put it that way.”

RIVETING. A rephrasing of what everybody basically knows about Punk. That would be like post-Montreal, McMahon saying, “Bret doesn’t work here anymore, let’s just put it that way.”

Of course, McMahon’s obligated to answer every investor question with as much honesty and/or misguided optimism as he can spew, so the minimal answer isn’t surprising. That it’s a ‘major story’ in this day and age of over-reporting is sadly less surprising. Call us when Punk visits relatives in Annapolis, Maryland, will ya?

(Follow Justin on Twitter. E-mail and all suggestions for ‘Crap Newz’ to him as well at wrestlecrapjrh@gmail.com)

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Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)
10 Responses to "Vince McMahon Informs Breathless World That CM Punk’s on Siesta"
  1. patricko says:

    So, is WC becoming another outlet for regurgitated wrestling news?

  2. Eugene Crispin Swanson Esquire III says:

    Justin, you are the man. Thank you for all your hard work. I’d love to see another “WWE Creative Team” from you with all the recent events that have happened lately. Go Eagles!

  3. Art0Donnell says:

    CM Punk poses for trading card photo.

  4. BaltoJim says:

    Justin, if you get that call, let me know. I can be in Annapolis in a half an hour to confirm the visit…

  5. John C says:

    In late breaking news BM Punk was seen asking for directions to the nearest men’s room as it appeared he had to drop a deuce.

  6. Mike Rotch says:

    We still don’t really know enough about Punk’s walkout to pass judgement on who’s right and wrong. One rumor has it that he was just upset and had his pride dented because he wasn’t in the Wrestlemania main event (which sounds like egomania), another gave him the more reasonable grievance that he was fed up of paycheck-chasing part-timers (e.g. Rock and Brock) and returning stars (Batista) could just walk back into the company and get lucrative positions while others were left by the wayside. But the only thing we’ve heard that sounds even remotely like a direct quote from Punk himself suggests that he doesn’t have a problem with Batista winning the Rumble, so maybe he’s just burned out or doesn’t see the rewards of the job as being worth the sacrifices needed to earn them.

    In fact, there’s still an incredibly slim chance that this is all a work. It’s always worth bearing that in mind as a possibility, although as we saw with Styles sometimes what you see really is what you get.

  7. Mister Forth says:

    Since they downplayed hiss leaving, this means to them Rey just have a sore knee.

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