Someone Bought This: WWE Nitro cars! Tiny cars, or giant wrestlers?

8 Submitted by on Tue, 13 September 2016, 11:14

wwe-nitro-car-john-cena-toy wwe-nitro-car-the-undertaker-toy

From The PW Torch:

“WWE Nitro” launches as new line of racing toys featuring big names

WWE and Playmates Toys announced Monday a new line of racing toys centered on arguably the four biggest names available to WWE.

The first line of “WWE Nitro” Sprints and Machines features John Cena, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, and The Undertaker.

“Playmates Toys is thrilled to partner with WWE to bring the action from the ring to the streets with Nitro Sprints and Nitro Machines,” said Karl Aaronian, Senior Vice President of Marketing, Playmates Toys. “We designed the figures and vehicles to represent the personality of each Superstar and we anticipate that fans will enjoy the play experience of racing their favorite Superstars.”

The officially-licensed racing figures are now available at Toys R Us stores…

It looks like John Cena and The Undertaker got bored one day and decided to borrow their kids’ Power Wheels cars.

adult-in-power-wheels-car

Sometimes two things that are cool separately (wrestlers and custom cars) don’t go well together- especially when you make the wrestlers look like they come straight out of the Uncanny Valley.

These things aren’t cool. They’re just really weird.

This is a great example of trying to reach a new demographic, but trying to do it with a terrible product that nobody actually wants.

I don’t even think an 8 year old boy who’s a WWE mark and who loves cars would want these things.

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8 Responses to "Someone Bought This: WWE Nitro cars! Tiny cars, or giant wrestlers?"
  1. Geoff says:

    Lol taker’s vehicle looks like a Woodie you would find in Santa Cruz. I’ve seen one around here that is actually purple too. Is John Cena saying to the cop in front of him: “You can’t see me?” Sorry John, we can see you. We all can see you. Even a blind, tied up, gagged, in the basement Stevie Wonder can see you.

  2. Vince B says:

    The old Racing Champions WCW cars were better!

  3. DarthPitch says:

    As the WWE proved back in 2001, whenever they get involved in anything called “Nitro”, it inevitably ends badly.

  4. John Q Occupier says:

    Finally, a Nitro worse than the NWO one…

  5. Stone Cold Warlord says:

    Am I the only one imagining Taker saying “Tally-Ho” and John Cena talking to his hand Ultimate Warrior- Wrestlemania VII style?

  6. John C says:

    If this had been The Attitude Era we could have had a Stone Cold Car with him flipping people the bird. (My middle fingers are permantly fused in that position due to driving in Vermont). Also you’d have Sable’s car flasing her headlights, or a Pat Patterson car always getting rear ended and of course a Bob “Don’t call me Sparky” Holly car just because they have to one.

  7. Corwin Haught says:

    The most important cars in the history of the toy industry!

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