Hey hey, fellow Crappers! It’s your old buddy and your old pal, RD Reynolds as I prepare for tomorrow night’s Halloween festivities. I was scratching my follically challenged cranium as to what to go as this year, so I ventured off to the local Halloween pop up shop to see what was on offer.
Join me, shall you?
This is supposed to be “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. Unfortunately, it’s a kid’s costume, so it’s immediately out of the running. Even if that weren’t the case, I think the fact that I am pretty sure that Austin never wore velcro sneakers and women’s capris would nix it from my list.
Full blown Stinger get up here…complete with championship belt!
I like Sting and all, but let’s get real – he’s not had that kinda musculature since the heyday of Dudes with Attitudes. Again, disqualified.
(Also now counting down until Blade chimes in, telling me for the 4,138th time how he has an actual Dudes with Attitudes Membership Card.
Which, despite telling me that many times, he has yet to provide photographic evidence of said card’s existence.)
Yeah, that there is supposed to be your hero and mine, John Cena.
As best I can tell, this $33 ‘costume’ comes with a shirt, some wristbands, and some brown shorts.
Who was doing quality control on THAT number?
This…this is FULL OF WIN.
I mean, yeah, it should have a Hulkamania shirt. Really, it couldn’t have cost that much more to get that detail right. But still, the muscles, the headband, the MUSTACHE…you walk into a party, people are going to KNOW who you are supposed to be.
Sadly, it too is vetoed as Hulk Hogan costumes, no matter how great, will forever be banished from the Reynolds Ranch due to the atrocity known as SEXY HULK HOGAN.
So yeah – fuhgeddabout it!
Ok, here’s the scoop. I already have my costume picked out, and it is ready to go. As an additional hint, due to the atrocities above, it is NOT wrestling related. I will reveal it in a NEW Induction that will be posted on Halloween….and the first person to correctly guess it in the comments section below gets a FREE Archive Access Pass!
So whatcha waitin’ fer? Get to guessing below!