Text By Jed Shaffer

What if...Rikishi Wasn't the Guy Who Ran Over Stone Cold Steve Austin at Survivor Series 1999?

Part IV

Raw: Nov. 20, '00

Austin marches down to the ring, wearing his trunks and knee braces. "If y'all are excited to see Stone Cold Steve Austin whip some ass tonight, gimme a hell yeah!" he says, and the crowd responds in kind. "I don't know who Mick Foley's got lined up for me, but the bottom is, it don't matter who it is, cause I'm fixin' to open up a six-pack ... no, a whole keg ... no, make that a whole damn brewery of whoop-ass on whatever poor sumbitch they send down here. See, to ol' Stone Cold, whoever it is, it ain't who I want, and that's The Rock. So I'm here to go 'round Mick Foley and take my case right to the man himself: Rock, I know you ain't here tonight. You're restin' up your little cuts and bruises Undertaker gave ya last night at the Survivor Series in some hospital like the yellow piece of crap you are. You run me down, you try and screw me outta my job with Mick and Vince, and you go and attack the only two guys who have the guts to do the right thing and say what's goin' on is a pile of crap. So I've come out here tonight to challenge you for Armageddon--"

The music of Mick Foley cuts off Austin. "Steve," says Mick to a hailstorm of hatred from the crowd, "you know I can't allow a match between you and The Rock before the investigation is complete."

"You only got four weeks, Mick. What the hell do you hope to find in four weeks that's gonna turn this case around?"

"We've hired an outside criminal forensics lab to investigate the car, and starting tonight, I will be putting each and every WWF Superstar through a polygraph. But unless we find a smoking gun, The Rock is simply not a suspect in this investigation." Austin seethes, pacing the ring like an enraged tiger. "If you want, though, Steve, since you seem so ancy, I can get your opponent to come out now."

"One way or another, Mick, I'm gonna get my hands on The Rock, and I don't give a damn if you like it or not. Now send out whatever unlucky bastard you picked."

Foley steps aside for the opponent to come out; the crowd stomps and claps and hollers in anticipation ... all for the air to be sucked out of the room when the music cues up and out comes Funaki. Austin is absolutely incredulous as the Japanese cruiserweight makes his way to the ring. Funaki waves and jumps around like he's won the match when he steps in the ring, until he comes face to face with Austin, who drills Funaki with the Stunner before the opening bell rings. The ref has the bell rung quickly, then makes the three-count for the victory. Austin is back up on his feet, grabs the mic and growls; "What in the hell was that, Mick?"

Foley comes back out and shrugs. "What? That was your opponent."

"That was a joke, right?"

"Steve, you haven't wrestled in a year. I can't just toss you into the deep end of the pool against someone like Chris Benoit or Test or Triple H without getting the ring rust off of you." Foley shrugs again. "Besides," he adds, "after a year off, you kinda need to prove your worth again. I threw you a bone by scheduling you for the top of the 10 o'clock hour, a bone I don't think you deserved."

"Well, since you're in such a givin' mood, Mick, how 'bout you give me another opponent?"

Foley blinks. "Another opponent? I don't want to tire you out, Steve."

"Jesus Christ, Mick. I broke a bigger sweat last night beatin' your ass at Survivor Series then I did just now. So how's about you send someone else out?"

"Steve, I don't have the time for thi--"

"Either you find me another opponent, or I'm gonna work up a sweat comin' up there and beatin' your sorry ass for a few minutes."

Foley responds by retreating to the back as Raw goes to commercial. When Raw comes back, Austin is sitting in the ring on a chair, waiting and checking a non-existent wristwatch. He checks it a couple more times in just as many seconds, then says; "If you wanna see Stone Cold Steve Austin march into the back and beat Mick Foley's fat ass all over Orlando, gimme a hell yeah!" The crowd affirms, and Austin is starting to stand up when Foley returns to the stage, waving his arms.

"Hold up, Steve! I found someone! Come on out!" Foley gestures for the mystery opponent to come out. Like before, the identity is a huge disappointment; this time, it is former WWF Hardcore Champion Crash. Crash swaggers to the ring as if he is much bigger then he is. He approaches Austin with a puffed-out chest, sticking a hand out for a handshake; Austin responds with a kick and a Stunner for another match that lasts as long as the pinfall count. Again, Austin jumps to his feet, glaring at Foley. "I'm sorry, Steve, I don't have an endless supply of wrestlers! Everyone's busy tonight. I'll try and get you someone better for Smackdown, I promise."

Austin sulks for a moment, then, seeing Crash struggling, offers him a hand. Crash gets to his feet and offers a word of thanks, only to eat another Stunner. Austin glares at Foley again, a silent warning passed from Austin to Foley for the next time they cross paths.

The announcers pimp the rest of the evening's matches--including a Tag Title match between Bull Buchanan & The Goodfather against Chris Benoit & William Regal, and Kurt Angle in a non-title match against Raven--as Steven Richards comes down to the ring for his one-on-one match against Triple H, this time under hardcore rules. For all his hatred of the hardcore content in WWF shows, Richards quickly resorts to using the tactics to give himself a fighting chance, in addition to trying to run and hide from Triple H. Richards gets unexpected assistance, however, from Chris Jericho, when the fight goes past Foley's office as Jericho comes out, having finished his turn at the polygraph. Jericho jumps into the fray, hammering on Triple H. Richards grabs a steel chair lying against the wall and swings, but Triple H ducks and the blow lands on Jericho instead. Triple H takes the moment to nail a Pedigree and pin Richards, unaware that Shane McMahon has arrived on the scene, pounding Jericho with punches. Triple H grabs Shane and tears him off Jericho, then goes after Jericho himself, but Shane returns the favor; Triple H re-returns the favor, only for Shane to grab a nearby coffee pot and break it over Triple H's head. Shane tries to attack Jericho again, but Jericho stops him cold with a kick to the balls. Jericho gets in a lick with the steel chair on both Shane and Triple H, then heads for the hills.

Following a European Title match, Triple H barges into Foley's office, where Foley, a polygraph technician and Steve Blackman are seated around a lie detector. Blackman immediately jumps up, clutching his Hardcore Title defensively. Triple H passes him by, grabbing the card table and flipping it, getting in Foley's face. "I want Jericho," he says, a finger millimeters from Foley's eyes, "and I want Shane McMahon. Make it happen, Foley."

Foley swats the hand away and stands up, getting right back in Triple H's face. "Who the hell do you think you are? Can't you see I'm trying to conduct an investigation here? I should just suspend you and get you out of my hair!"

Triple H gnashes his teeth. "Give me Shane and Jericho, Foley. Don't make me give you flashbacks to the Royal Rumble."

Foley, however, is undisturbed. "Threatening, oh yeah, that's the way to win me over, Hunter. I've got bigger things to worry about then your stupid family drama and your little tiff with Y2J and Shane McMahon. In fact, I'm inclined not to give a damn whatsoever. Why don't you try pleading your case to Vince on Smackdown?" Triple H opens his mouth but Foley points to the door. "That was your cue to leave, Hunter!" Hunter growls wordlessly at Foley, but Foley keeps pointing at the door, and Hunter finally acquiesces.

The rest of the Right To Censor accompany the tag champions, Bull Buchanan and The Goodfather, to the ring for their defense against Benoit & Regal; the ref immediately throws them out, giving Benoit and Regal a fair chance to win. Between the size and power of Bull and the cheating of both RTC members, the annoying duo hold on as tight as they can to their upper hand, but the technical skills of Benoit and Regal outshine. Val Venis' attempt at interference to help his stablemates backfires, getting him re-ejected (but the ref uses his discretion and allows the match to continue), and both Regal and Benoit get Buchanan and Goodfather in stereo submission holds for a submission victory and new tag champions, Benoit's second belt.

At the door to Foley's office, Austin and Undertaker collide, both trying to get in to see him. Austin and Undertaker eye each other for a moment, uneasy allies only for a mutual dislike of someone else. Undertaker grabs the knob and enters first; Foley looks up, sees his guests and throws up his hands. "Can I get anything done around here without being interrupted? What do you two want?" Austin and Undertaker both start to talk, but the replies come out too crossed to understand. Foley shakes his head. "Okay, one at a time. Austin."

"I want Rocky," Austin says.

Austin tries to elaborate, but Foley cuts him off. "And you?"

"I think I deserve a shot at the World Wrestling Federation Title."

"Okay. No and no."

Austin and Undertaker say "What?" in unison, then go off on their own tangents. Foley has to wave his arms to get them to shut down.

"Guys, please! I'm trying to get on with the investigation. I'd think both of you would want me done with this, especially if it gets you off the hook, Undertaker." Austin and Undertaker start up again, their overlapping complaints too much of a cacophany to understand. "Would you two take it outside? Austin, I'm not giving you The Rock. No way, no how. You can ask all damn day long, and I'm not gonna change my mind. Undertaker, I'm not giving you a title shot, not while you're the primary suspect in Steve's hit-and-run. If you don't like my decision, you can talk to Vince on Thursday. Now get out." When Austin and Undertaker don't leave automatically, Foley suddenly flips out, his face turning beet red. "GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY OFFICE NOW" Seeing they're not going to get anywhere with Foley, Austin and Undertaker leave.

Raven comes out for his main event non-title match against Angle, but without his normal hardcore plunder, the extreme loner is forced to play Angle's game in the ring. Raven manages to hold his own, but Angle's always one step ahead, one counter ahead, and gets the pinfall victory off an Angle Slam.

But instead of Angle's music coming up after his victory, Undertaker's music comes on instead. Angle's head whips around to the stage as the Dead Man saunters out, a bandage on his forehead, sunglasses covering a black eye, and a microphone in hand, standing on the stage. "I ain't out here to congratulate you on winnin' any matches or bein' some big gold medal athlete, Kurt," says Undertaker. "Last night, I went and beat The Rock within an inch of his miserable life ... and then I changed my mind and I took that inch. Last night, I gave Rocky the beating he deserves and a little more, and after I pinned him one-two-three ... well, it occurred to me that Rocky was the last champion before you, Kurt. The way I sees it ... that makes me the number-one contender ..." The crowd cheers on this idea; Kurt, however, looks less than pleased. "But, you see, Kurt, Vince McMahon, he don't think nothin' of Undertaker 'cept to be his patsy in this whole running over of Stone Cold business. I'm no good as a champion to him. He don't like the idea of me doin' my thing wearing his belt. What he forgets is that that ring is my yard, and I'm the big dog that runs it." Undertaker levels a finger Angle's way. "Right now, boy, you standin' in my yard. And I'm thinkin', you need to pay a toll if you wanna stay in it. A toll, like a shot at that belt of yours."

Angle opens his mouth, but a response is quickly proven unnecessary by the surprise appearance of The Rock cracking Undertaker in the back of the head with a steel chair. The Rock proceeds to bash Undertaker over and over again with the chair, sending him rolling down the ramp. Rocky grabs the microphone and stands over the prone body of Undertaker. "You think you made The Rock famous last night?" he snarls. "The Rock says all you did was piss off the Brahma Bull. The Rock says what happened last night meant nothing, because The Rock's gonna beat your monkey ass, then"--The Rock looks up at Angle, pointing the chair at him--"The Rock's gonna beat your milk-drinking jabroni ass and get The Rock's belt back, and--"

Rocky's rant is cut off by the blind-side attack of Austin, who pummels Rock with fists and feet. Rock tries to get up and run, but Austin stays on him; Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco try to stop Austin, but they eat right hands, and Austin pounces again, tearing off Rock's bandages and ripping at his wounds. As Undertaker gets up, Angle is out to meet him, engaging in a fistfight. Officials swarm the ringside area, prying the four men apart as Raw comes to a close.

Smackdown: Nov. 23, '00

Austin stomps down to the ring, ready for battle. He immediately grabs a mic and says; "Alright, Mick, I ain't got time to screw around. Vince is gonna be here in just a little, and I intend on meetin' him, so send out the poor sumbitch I'm gonna beat up."

Foley comes out on the stage, all smiles for once. "Steve, I think you're gonna be impressed," he trumpets. "I managed to line up a former champion for you to face!" Immediately, the crowd perks up with speculation. "That's right, Steve. You're gonna face ... Scotty 2 Hotty!" The former WWF Tag Champion dances his way down to the ring to no crowd reaction whatsoever. A quick kick and a Stunner drops Scotty before Foley has time to get backstage.

"That better not be all you got for me, Mick," says Austin.

"You know, Steve, I was afraid this might happen, so I just so happen to have lined up another former champion!" The same music comes up, ushering out Scotty's partner, Grandmaster Sexay. Like his partner, Grandmaster Sexay goes down in seconds. Austin is up on his feet again, gesturing for Foley to send out another victim.

"Steve, everybody else is busy! I can't help it--"

"You can help yourself to your own, personal six-pack of whoop-ass if you don't stop flappin' your gums and go find me someone else to wrestle tonight!" barks Austin. "Vince should be here any minute, so you got until the end of the night, Mick, to get me someone else to fight, or else I'm gonna come back out here and take a piece out of someone's ass." Austin stomps out of the ring, right past the stupefied Foley, still on the stage, pausing for a couple birds in Foley's face before going to the back.

As a European Title defense wraps up, Vince's limo pulls up in the back. Vince barely has one foot on the concrete before he comes face to face with three very angry men: Triple H, Undertaker and Austin. The threesome leer over Vince, who gulps as he faces off with the group. "I-I-I ... um ..." Vince tugs at his collar. Undertaker grabs Vince by the lapel and shoves him up against the car.

"We need to talk, Vince," says Undertaker. "Foley won't grant me a World Title shot for being Rock."

"I want a piece of your idiot son and that son of a bitch Jericho," says Triple H.

Austin gets right in Vince's face. "You're gonna give me The Rock, or I'm gonna hunt the piece of crap down like a deer and I'm gonna bag him my way."

"Listen, listen to me! Listen to me!" Vince shirks out of Undertaker's grip and smoothes over his jacket. "You're not getting anything from me by coming here and accosting me as I'm getting out of my car."

Triple H takes a step forward, making Vince stumble back up against the limo again. "You're gonna be a lot more then accosted if we don't get what we want, Vince."

"You'll get nothing from me with threats, Hunter," Vince says coolly. "Now let me pass to conduct my business and we'll discuss your individual concerns later." Vince elbows his way past, mumbling under his breath as Austin, Undertaker and Triple H watch him walk away, all seething over their rebuffing.

Rikishi comes to the ring for his scheduled match against The Rock. When Rock's music plays, he comes out hobbling, bandages around his head and ribs. He grabs a mic as he steps into the ring, his other arm holding his ribs. "The Rock had a hard night at Raw, Rikishi. The Rock had to fight off Undertaker at Survivor Series, and The Rock got monkey-stomped by Stone Cold Steve Austin on Raw. Now, if you want to beat up on a crippled Rock and go toe-to-toe with someone who isn't even fifty percent, that's your call. But know this ... if you beat The Rock, you beat an injured Rock. You beat a broken Rock. You didn't beat The Rock." Rock steps forward and offers a hand; Rikishi responds with a superkick to the jaw, and the ref signals to start the match. Immediately, Rikishi goes after Rock's injured ribs, weakening them strike by strike. Rock manages to overcome and take the advantage, but on a Rock Bottom attempt, Rock's back gives and he can't get the big man up. Another superkick, and Rikishi drags Rocky into the corner for the Banzai Drop. A three-count later, and Rikishi has scored the upset of the year. Rock rolls out of the ring and, wincing, grabs a wrench out from underneath the ring. While Rikishi has his hands raised in trimuph and his back turned, Rock slides back in and blasts Rikishi in the back of the head, leaving the big man in a heap on the mat.

Vince comes out at the top of the hour, trying not to look too perturbed. "Despite the best efforts of some of this company's more seedy individuals," says Vince, "I stand here tonight a proud man. I have a few major announcements. The first concerns the ongoing investigation into the hit-and-run assault on Stone Cold Steve Austin. Mick Foley and I have reviewed all the evidence, we've conducted an exhaustive interrogation with the use of a polygraph of every WWF Superstar in that locker room, and we believe we have come across a new break in the case. So, live, in this very ring on Raw next week, we will unveil this new evidence we hope will propel the case to a satisfactory close." The announcers express concerns over Vince's proclamation as Vince basks for a moment in smug self-satisfaction. "Now then ... onto the other piece of business. Three men petitioned me earlier, making demands of me that I was not prepared to listen to. Now that I have discussed the situation with Commissioner Foley, I am prepared to address them ... in regards to Triple H and his request, he will have to wait." The crowd boos over this. "Please, please! Be quiet!" When the crowd starts up a vulgar chant, Vince gets red-faced. "Shut up!" The crowd intensifies and Vince has to ride it out. "Triple H's marital concerns are not my problem. I have bigger concerns, and his issue is just going to have to wait in line. Now, onto the number-one contender. At Armageddon, Kurt Angle will indeed defend the World Wrestling Federation Championship. Mick Foley and I have take a lot into consideration, including win-loss records, key victories, outstanding issues and a number of other factors, and we've determined that there is only one logical man to face Kurt Angle, and that man is The Rock!"

The crowd comes unglued, but quickly turns as Undertaker comes out of the dressing room. Vince scrambles backwards as Undertaker gets right in Vince's face. "What the hell are you on, boy?" Undertaker yells. "I done beat Kurt Angle clean as a sheet back at Fully Loaded! I beat your boy just a few nights ago! How in the hell does Rocky get before me?"

"R-R-R-Rocky is a former champion," Vince says as he backs up into the ropes, startling himself. "He ... he has the right to a rematch, regardless of standings, and--"

"You just said you checked out everybody's records and all that. So which is it, Vince? I'm just about sick of hearin' ya talk out of both sides of your mouth, McMahon, so I figure you got maybe three seconds before I punch it so hard, your lips'll swell shut!"

"You lay a hand on me--"

"And your old lady will make sure you feel the heat, McMahon, not me. Three seconds." Undertaker barely even gives Vince one second before clocking Vince right on the jaw. Undertaker drops out of the ring, grabs Vince by his hair and yanks him down to the ground, then sets to tearing apart the announce booth (and using one of the monitors to drill McMahon flat on his back, splitting his forehead wide open). Authorities start to pour out of the back, but not before Undertaker hoists McMahon high up and drives him down through the announce table with the Last Ride. Before the officials can rescue their chairman, Undertaker grabs the steel steps, sets them on Vince's chest and batters them in with a steel chair. Officials finally get to the scene before Undertaker can hit Vince again with the steps repositioned onto his face. Paramedics carry Vince to an ambulance while Undertaker is taken away.

As Chris Benoit walks to the entrance way for his match with Chris Jericho, Triple H intercepts him. "I, uh ... I just wanted to tell you, Chris ..." Triple H hesitates, then offers a hand. "I was wrong about you. You've had my back, and I appreciate it." Benoit takes Triple H's hand; Triple H suddenly squeezes and pulls Benoit close, speaking in a low growl through clinched teeth. "Now go out there and cripple Chris Jericho. Break every bone in his body." After a few silent seconds, Benoit nods and grins, then goes out to the ring. Jericho, however, doesn't go down easy, fighting as if for his very survival, taking crazy risks and going for the jugular with every move or strike. When Jericho manages to get Benoit in the Walls in the middle of the ring, Triple H, watching in the back on a monitor, goes to leave the locker room to attack Jericho, only to open the door to a face full of pepper spray from Shane McMahon. Shane tees off with his ubiquitous Singapore cane, splitting Triple H's wig, then racing down to ringside in time to see Benoit counter out of the Walls and into the Crossface. As Shane gets to the ringside area, Perry Saturn and Dean Malenko come out of the crowd; Saturn climbs the turnbuckle, leaps off and drives an elbow into Benoit's back, while Malenko blindsides Shane McMahon at ringside. The ref calls for the bell as Malenko and Saturn continue their beatdown of Benoit and Shane while Jericho rolls out of the ring, watching the events before him in confusion.

Austin stomps down to the ring, still in his wrestling gear, a steel chair and a microphone in hand. He unfolds the chair and sits down in the middle of the ring. "Far as I'm concerned, Vince McMahon got what was comin' to him. Everybody here, including Vince and Mick Foley, know that sumbitch The Rock ran me over last year at the Survivor Series. If Vince thinks puttin' him in a match with Kurt Angle protects his investment at Armageddon from ol' Stone Cold, huh-uh! I'm gonna roll into Armageddon, and Rock's fixin' to get the first serving from his own personal, all-he-can-eat whoop-ass buffet, and that's all I got to say about that." Austin looks at his wrist, checking the time on a non-existant watch, gives it a few seconds, then looks over at the timekeeper. "Well, son, I need a workout, so get your bony ass in here before I come down there and drag you in."

Foley's music cuts in and the Commissioner comes out on stage, waving his arms. "Stop, stop! Steve! Stop!" Austin looks back at Foley grinning. "You win. I got you another opponent."

"Not some piece of crap?"

"No, Steve. This guy's good. Former Intercontinental Champion. He's damn good." Foley turns to look at the curtains as Eddie Guerrero steps through. The crowd boos Latino Heat, recently having divested himself rather rudely of Chyna's companionship. Eddie saunters down to ringside as if the crowd loves him, but when the match begins, he resorts to his normal cheap tactics to counter the juggernaut that is Austin and his Texas temper. Austin almost seems to have fun as Eddie actually gives him the good match Austin has been looking for since coming back, testing both Austin's brawling and overlooked technical skills. Eddie's speed give him enough of an edge (as does his blatant cheating) to get Austin in position for the frog splash, but Austin rolls out of the way; Eddie gets to his feet holding his chest, and Austin gets to his and nails the Stunner. But before Austin can score the three count, Malenko and Saturn invade the ring again and demolish Austin with double and triple team maneuvers. As the announcers bemoan the seeming reunion of the Radicals and try to figure out what their purpose is, Foley gives a strong hint: a grin and applause, as he watches from the ramp.

Raw: Nov. 27, '00

Vince comes out to lead off the show, hobbling down to the ring with a cane, a smug look on his face that belies his attempt at acting contrite on the microphone. "I'm hoping that, after the events of tonight, we can put all this unpleasantness behind us and move forward as we used to," says Vince. "Before I bring to you the new break in the Austin case, though, there's a little matter I need to discuss, and that is the safety of the main event at Armageddon. Right now, The Rock is set to enter Armageddon, squaring off against Kurt Angle for the WWF Championship, as the underdog. Not because he can't beat Kurt Angle, because I know he can, and he will." The crowd shares their dissenting opinion of Vince's proclamation, but Vince soldiers on. "No, The Rock's facing two problems that make him the underdog: Stone Cold Steve Austin and Undertaker. Not an event goes by when one or the other tries to find a way to assault and injure The Rock. I have tried, I have pleaded, I have presented my case that shows beyond all doubt that The Rock did not commit the heinous crime they accuse him of, and neither Austin nor Undertaker will listen to reason. Therefore, I have taken the action of making Kurt Angle's defense of the World Wrestling Federation Title against The Rock a steel cage match." Vince pauses for effect, letting the weight of the announcement settle in. "Now that we have that out of the way ... for months, the issue of who ran over Stone Cold has been lingering over this company, and Mick Foley's tenure as Commissioner, like a shadow. However, Mick and I have uncovered new evidence that points in a direction we'd previously dismissed." Vince takes a deep breath before beginning. "At WrestleMania 14, Stone Cold Steve Austin won his first WWF World Title, defeating Shawn Michaels. In the year prior, Steve had faced off against Undertaker for the WWF Title, had fights with everyone in the locker room, WWF management, D-Generation X and even Mike Tyson, so there's no shortage of people who dislike Stone Cold. But there are two people who Stone Cold crosses paths with that hated him more then anyone ... two people who hate each other ... Undertaker ... and Shawn Michaels. Austin defeated Shawn Michaels in his last match, taking his WWF Title in the process." On the TitanTron, clips of Austin's victory over Michaels' airs. It then switches to clips from the Casket Match at 1998's Royal Rumble. "But two months before that, it was Undertaker who caused the back injury that ended Shawn Michaels' career. Since winning the WWF Title, Undertaker has only defeated Austin twice: once with help from Kane, and once because of a fast count from Shane McMahon." Vince holds up two fingers. "Shawn Michaels. Undertaker. Two men whose careers have been abruptly changed because of Stone Cold Steve Austin. It is the belief of Vince McMahon and myself that Shawn Michaels hired Undertaker to run over Steve Austin, and then left him to take the fall. It is--"

Undertaker comes down the ramp as Vince is talking. Vince smiles. "Perfect timing! I was just about to ask you to come out. I--" Undertaker grabs Vince by the throat and backs him into the corner.

"How many times do I gotta tell you, McMahon; I didn't have nothing to do with this!" Undertaker squeezes just a little more; Vince's eyes bug out as he claws at Undertaker's hands. "I ain't Shawn Michaels' errand boy, and I'd never help that skinny little--"

Undertaker's words cut off instantly as Vince plants a foot right in Undertaker's crotch, sending him to his knees. From his pocket, Vince pulls out a tazer and zaps Undertaker with it, rendering the Dead Man unconscious and twitching. Vince stands astride the prone body of Undertaker, his face as red as fire, his voice so deep and gravelly it sounds inhuman. "You want to push me, boy?" Vince delivers another jolt of electricity to Undertaker. "You want to push the Chairman of the World Wrestling Federation?" Another zap from the tazer. "It will be your armageddon, Undertaker, because at Armageddon, you'll be having a Street Fight with me!" Vince starts slapping Undertaker across the face, screaming "Do you hear me?" with every slap until he struts proudly up the ramp as medics try to revive Undertaker.

As Chris Benoit and William Regal start the walk to the entrance for their Tag Title defense against Tazz and Raven, they are stopped by The Radicals. "Hey, esse," says Guerrero, "those belts look mighty fine! Would be a shame to lose them!"

"And that's why we'll be victorious tonight," says Regal haughtily. "Come, let's go--"

"Hey, just wait a minute, holmes! What's your hurry? Chris here's an old friend!"

"And we're just concerned for his safety," says Malenko.

"Yeah," says Guerrero, "if, you know, you'd like, we can help you out against those two jokers. That's what friends do."

"But that's not what we do," retorts Regal. "We'll dispatch with our opponents on our own, or fail trying. We don't need help from the likes of you."

"Why don't you let Chris decide what he wants?" says Saturn, getting in Regal's face.
Benoit puts a hand on Saturn and pushes him back, eyeing him, and the rest of the Radicals, coldly. "This is my thing. I don't need your help, and I don't want your help. Stay away."

"I don't think you understand, holmes," says Guerrero. "If you ain't with us, you's against us."

Chris doesn't hesitate in replying. "Then I guess I'm against you." He turns, tells Regal he's ready to go, and they head to the ring for a successful defense against Tazz and Raven. From the back on a monitor, The Radicals watch, arms crossed and silent.

As Jericho is getting ready for his match, Vince McMahon comes into his dressing room. "Chris! Good to see you!" Chris gets up nervously, accepting Vince's extended hand, but not shaking it nearly as hard as Vince shakes his. "How've you been? Listen, I just wanted to let you know how thankful I am towards you."

Jericho blinks. "I'm sorry? I don't understand."

"You know, the thing. With Stephanie. Sleeping with her, videotaping it, showing it to Triple H. It was about a year ago that Triple H convinced my daughter to turn against me, and the two of them tried to take over this company with their ridiculous McMahon-Helmsley Regime, or Faction, or Era, whatever they called it. You don't know how frightened I was at the idea of the two of them inheriting this company one day. Breaking up their marriage has been a Godsend."

Jericho recoils, yanking his hand away as if stung. "Mr. McMahon, I didn't touch your daughter. She repulses me. I'd rather drink toilet water then get anywhere near your daughter with her ... in that ..." Jericho gags, holds it back and shakes his head. "No. No way."

"Oh, Chris, no need to be modest. I understand. You don't wanna take credit. That's fine. Great masters have a right to be humble." Vince claps Jericho on the shoulder. "I've arranged for some back-up for you, just in case you need it. And don't think I don't have my eye on you for another title shot down the line. Your performance at Survivor Series was nothing short of outstanding."

"But, Vince, I--"

"No need to thank me, Chris. It's I who owe you."

"But--"

"I'll let you get ready for your match now, Chris. I understand you're facing Steven Richards? Ugh. I can't stand people who want to impose their values and beliefs on others. Matter of fact, tell you what: if you beat Richards for me tonight, I'll see to it that whatever match you're in at Armageddon, it's a number-one contender's match." Vince leaves the locker room before Jericho can reply.

Steven Richards makes it clear before the match that he holds a bottomless disdain for Jericho, labeling Jericho the WWF's chief source of immorality and depravity. Jericho responds by fighting, taking it to the RTC's loud-mouthed leader. When Richards' cohorts try to come to his aid, Jericho gets some unexpected help: The Radicals. Saturn and Malenko take care of the RTC, while, with the ref's back turned and Jericho also occupied on the floor, Eddie Guerrero scores a frog splash on Richards to help put the exclamation point on the match. Jericho gets back in and scores a pinfall, but rebuffs the hand of Guerrero after the match.

From up on the stage, Shane McMahon appears, clapping. "Congratulations, Y2J." Shane makes a show of clapping. "Got yourself some help there. My dad's hired thugs. That fits, since my father seems to think you're just such a great guy. Well, I don't, Chris Jericho. And I want a piece of you at Armageddon."

"Get in line, you little twerp," says Triple H on the TitanTron. "It wasn't your marriage that got ruined by Chris Jericho. Besides, the last thing anyone wants to see is you defending your sister's ... well, I don't know what you're defending, cause she's got as much virtue as a ten-cent hooker." The crowd lets out an "ooh"; Triple H rolls right along. "Besides, the idea of you against Jericho for the number-one contendership oughtta be enough to make anybody sick."

"Well, Hunter, since I'm not exactly thrilled with you either, maybe we can make it a triple threat."

"Hey, wait a minute," says Jericho. "I don't wanna fight either one of you! I never touched your slutty sister, no matter how much I had to drink first. If you got--"

"You don't get a say in this, Jericho," says Triple H. "You want a triple threat, Shane? No holds barred, anything goes? You got it. First, I'm gonna send you out on a stretcher like I did with Kurt Angle at SummerSlam. Then, I'm gonna take Jericho, and I'm gonna send him out ... in a hearse."

Eddie Guerrero leans in close to Jericho and says in a low, conspiratorial voice; "You sure you don't want no help, esse?" Jericho looks at him as if Guerrero's made some kind of inappropriate suggestion and backs away in revulsion.

The Rock heads to the ring for a non-title match-up against Kurt Angle, visibly still suffering the effects of his many fights and beat-downs. "Every damn show, The Rock comes out here and delivers 100%, even if The Rock isn't 100% for you, the fans." The fans show no appreciation for this. "And, week after week, the people hate on The Rock. They don't trust The Rock. They think The Rock is some kind of criminal. The Rock notices this all started when The Rock lost his World Wrestling Federation Title. Maybe you think less of The Rock because The Rock doesn't have the belt that says he's ... the best. Armageddon ... December tenth ... The Rock, The Great One, The People's Champion, The Brahma Bull ... and Kurt Angle, the milk-drinking, grandma-smelling, 'goshdarnit'-saying geek ... steel cage ... WWF Title ... The Rock will restore your faith, your confidence, your hope, by beating that jabroni all up Know Your Role Boulevard and across Jabroni Drive. Tonight, it's step one; tonight, The Rock, Kurt Angle, one on one, non-title. The Rock will show you, the people, that The Rock can get the job done against Kurt Angle, that The Rock isn't just capable of beating Kurt Angle, but that Kurt Angle isn't capable of beating The Rock. If you--"

Kurt Angle's music stabs through The Rock's signature sign-off, and for the crowd, not a moment too soon; Angle gets a raucous ovation like never before, the antethises of Rock's reception, the very definition of a conquering champion. Immediately, Angle goes for the obvious targets on The Rock, attacking with suplexes, strikes and submission holds. Rock has a hard time keeping up, having to use his size advantage to get any kind of upper hand. A Rock Sharpshooter gets reversed into an Ankle Lock, but Rock gets to the ropes before tapping. Angle tries to pull him back, but the ref makes him break it up; instead, Angle hangs back, waits for Rock to get up and scores the Angle Slam, getting a clean three-count in the middle of the ring. When Rock comes to and sees Angle celebrating, he loses his cool and blindsides Angle from behind, laying him out for a People's Elbow. Rocky grabs the WWF Title and holds it aloft, standing over Angle's fallen body.

Austin meets up with Triple H in the locker room moments before their scheduled six-man tag against The Radicals. "Hunter, we got a problem."

Hunter continues stretching as he talks. "What?"

"Undertaker ain't no good to wrestle. That zapper attack Vince hit him with, the medics won't clear him."

Triple H stops in mid-stretch. "Damn. They gonna let us have a replacement?"
Austin deadpans. "We're lucky they ain't givin' them Radicals another partner."
Hunter shrugs. "We'll just have to handle them ourselves then. Meet you out there."
Austin leaves the locker room and starts for the ring. He never sees Eddie Guerrero come out from behind a crate, sneak up to the locker room doors, and lock it shut with a chain and padlock. The deception goes undiscovered until, after The Radicals and Austin are introduced, Triple H's music plays multiple times with no results. Guerrero grabs a microphone. "Hey, holmes. Whassa matter with your partners? Looks like you got stood up, Stone Cold! You think you can go three on one?"

The music of Chris Benoit answers Guerrero's challenge, signalling the arrival of the WWF Tag Team Champions. Benoit and William Regal dispense with the belts at the ramp and slide into the ring, launching the six-man brawl. Austin shows a little hesitation at his sudden new partners, but quickly jumps in the fray, swinging wildly at any member of the Radicals crazy enough to get in his way. The Radicals hesitate on fighting their old friend Benoit, but the Rabid Wolverine takes the fight to them, forcing them to fight or flee. In the end, the ref, unable to get any semblance of order established at any point has the match thrown out, but the brawl continues until Raw fades to black.

Smackdown: Nov. 30, '00

The music of the Heartbreak Kid cues up, signalling Shawn Michaels' arrival on the scene. Vince's proclamation of Shawn's involvement in the hit-and-run of Stone Cold seems to make no ill will between the legend and the crowd, as they welcome him with open arms. "Thank you, thank you," says Shawn, sketching a little bow to all sides of the ring. "It's nice to know somebody appreciates me around here. I mean, I know I took some shots back in the day. Dropped from the Hell In A Cell, got hit with a few chairs, but I could swear ... I could swear that on Monday Night Raw, Vince McMahon dragged my name into this whole who-hit-Steve-Austin thing." The tape of Vince's speech rolls, with Shawn talking over it. "Yup, there it is. Little ol' me, Shawn Michaels, the Heartbreak Kid, the Showstoppah, the Main Event ... and good old Vinnie Mac, dragging me and my seven nicknames through the mud. Anybody who knows Shawn Michaels knows I'm not all big on working with others, and yet, Vinnie's here saying I hired Undertaker to hit Stone Cold. Ya know, it's funny ... back, oh, seven, eight weeks ago, Mick Foley accused me of doing it myself. I don't know whether I should be flattered or insulted that I went from the wheelman to some weird shut-in buying other guys off to do my dirty work. The Heartbreak Kid does everything up close and personal, Vince. So, maybe you need to waddle on down here, Vince, so I can get right up close to ya, so you don't have to turn up your hearing aid, and tell you exactly how things go 'round here."

Vince stomps down to ringside, arms flaring out dramatically. "Just who in the hell do you think you are, Shawn Michaels?" Vince demands. "Last I checked, you're not an active wrestler. And that means you got no business in this ring, or in this arena, or in my company. I--"

Shawn gets nose to nose with Vince, levelling a finger just millimeters from Vince's face. "You dragged me down here by implicating me in this Austin nonsense, Vince. That's what business I got here." Shawn backs away. "But since you're so kind as to honor my request to come down here, let me ask you some questions. What am I worth to you?"

Vince raises an eyebrow. "Well, since you don't do a damn thing for this company anymore, you're not worth the powder--"

"That's good enough. See, I was just thinking about how Undertaker said a few weeks back that he was being fingered by the suits because he doesn't fit their mold. How Rocky was untouchable because he was a marquee idol, so Undertaker, the big redneck biker, got put on the hook because he was expendable." Shawn mockingly strokes his chin. "Hmm ... sounds a lot like this, don't it? Hmm. Let me ask you another question, MacMoron. Who's my best friend? Don't be shy. You know this."

"I know you're good friends with Triple H."

"That's right, we've been friends for a long time. And, uh ... how long have I been friends with Undertaker?"

"How would I know that?"

"Just answer the question, Vince. You know this. Me and Undertaker. Buddies?"

Vince grumbles and stalls. As Shawn is going to prod him again, he finally barks out; "You're not! You don't like him and he doesn't like you!"

"Alrighty then. So, if I have all of my facts straight, let me lay this out, see if this makes sense; Steve Austin, in the course of a year, makes both me and Undertaker so angry that, even though my best friend, who would do anything for me, is available to get a favor done for free, I spend money to hire a guy I don't like to run over a man I've wrestled once. And, to top it off, I hire a man who is out of town on that day, witnessed by a hundred or so people. Do I have it all clear?" Before Vince can even nod, Shawn presses on. "Because that sounds all sorts of confusing to me, Vince. Maybe it's the chair shots, but none of that makes any sense to me. It sounds, to me, like you're grabbing at straws, Vince. You and Mick Foley, it sounds like you're getting desperate to bring this to a head before Linda puts your head in a noose."

Vince immediately starts steaming. "Linda has nothing to do with this--"

"Oh, I think she does, Mc-Mc-Mannequin. See, I went and saw your wife. Lovely lady." Shawn grins and the crowd gets a little noisy, sensing something is coming. "And, you know what, Vince? Not only does she think your theory of my involvement is a big pile of ... well, you know that unflattering name these fans like to call you?" The crowd starts chanting "asshole"; Shawn nods and hikes a thumb to the audience. "Yeah, that. She thinks your theory is made of what comes out of that. And she also thinks that this little match you wanna have with Undertaker at Armageddon, that you're up to something. So, before you go getting all devilish and cooking up something with your new lackey, Mick Foley, she wants you to know that there will be a special guest referee for the match." The crowd gets really loud, knowing who it is already. Vince does his trademark exaggerated gulp. Shawn claps him on the shoulder. "I just want you to know that, when the bell rings, I'll call it right down the middle. I got just as much heat with Undertaker as I do you." Shawn takes a couple paces away, then adds, "But until then ...", and tees off with Sweet Chin Music on Vince's jaw. Shawn dances a little to the thrill of the crowd and gives Vince a condescending smack on the cheek before taking his leave.

The announcers run down the absolutely loaded Smackdown card for the evening--Triple H vs. Malenko, Undertaker vs. Guerrero, Austin vs. Saturn, and The Rock against a mystery opponent (of his choosing)--as William Regal and Chris Benoit make their way to the ring for their Tag Title rematch against Bull Buchanan and The Goodfather, who bring their RTC brethren to ringside. Regal and Benoit fight against the numbers game, which proves almost too strong until Triple H shows up and, for the first time, shows a true allegiance to Regal and Benoit, using his sledgehammer to clear the ringside area. From there, Regal and Benoit dissect their opponents, getting the victory off a Benoit swan dive headbutt. Backstage, though, Foley reads Triple H the riot act for interfering in the match and promises swift and decisive retribution if he tries to use the sledgehammer in his match with Malenko.

The announcers run down the absolutely loaded Smackdown card for the evening--Triple H vs. Malenko, Undertaker vs. Guerrero, Austin vs. Saturn, and The Rock against a mystery opponent (of his choosing)--as William Regal and Chris Benoit make their way to the ring for their Tag Title rematch against Bull Buchanan and The Goodfather, who bring their RTC brethren to ringside. Regal and Benoit fight against the numbers game, which proves almost too strong until Triple H shows up and, for the first time, shows a true allegiance to Regal and Benoit, using his sledgehammer to clear the ringside area. From there, Regal and Benoit dissect their opponents, getting the victory off a Benoit swan dive headbutt. Backstage, though, Foley reads Triple H the riot act for interfering in the match and promises swift and decisive retribution if he tries to use the sledgehammer in his match with Malenko. Triple H ignores rantings and warns Foley that, with the sentiment in the locker room fully against Foley as of late, he can snap his fingers and turn the WWF into a ghost town. Foley reiterates his warning and leaves with his tail between his legs.

Eddie Guerrero has to utilize his speed and technical prowess to get anywhere with the very angry Undertaker, who is looking to punish one of Vince's new lieutenants as a message to his Armageddon opponent. When Undertaker's anger and overwhelming strength advantage proves too much for Guerrero to counter, he resorts to cheap tactics to get the edge. It doesn't take long for Undertaker to tire of the formalities of the match, and grabs a chair and swings for the fences, instantly getting DQ'ed. The attack draws out the rest of the Radicals, which in turn draws out Regal and Benoit, who help even the odds and send the Radicals back to the locker room, but not without Guerrero smarting from a serious chair-driven beatdown.

A knock at Foley's door brings in the WWF Champion Kurt Angle. Foley sighs upon seeing Angle. "What do you want, Kurt?" Foley says exasperatedly.

"Well, I was wondering if we could talk--"

"Kurt, I have a lot to do. The Austin investigation is still going on, I got Triple H and Shane McMahon acting like a couple spoiled children, I got to find a way to protect Vince McMahon from Undertaker ... I really don't have time for whatever your problem is."

"Hey! I'm the WWF Champion! I think that freakin' means something around here!" Foley's eyes go wide when Angle slams his fists down on Foley's desk. "I have a grievance and you darn well need to listen!" Foley sighs again, leans back and gestures for Angle to go on. "You know, since I won this belt, you've made me defend it on Raw and Smackdown. You've partnered me with some strange people. Another guy might think you have it out for him, but not me. I know you respect me, because I'm this company's only Olympic gold medalist and the WWF Champion. So, I'm hoping that this little steel cage match at Armageddon with The Rock for the WWF Title, maybe it's like, a clerical error? Somebody checked the wrong box on the contract, or some other match is gonna have the cage? Cause putting me--"

"You're in a steel cage match, Kurt. That's all there is to it."

Angle steps back, his jaw almost unhinged. "But come on! That's so unfair! I mean, sheesh ... I know I'm a good athlete, and these people would love to see me beat the stuffing out of Rock in a steel cage, but come on! Why should I be punished because The Rock is a criminal?"

Foley rockets out of his chair, leaning across his desk and pulling Angle close by the medals. "The Rock is not a criminal! If I hear that from you or anybody else one more time ..." Foley lets the sentence trail off, letting go of Angle's medals. Foley collapses in his chair, hands over his face. "Just go, please?"

"What about my--"

"GO!"

Angle lingers a moment, then slinks out of the office, muttering, "Sheesh, what a crab-apple!" As Angle is reaching for the doorknob, Foley says; "For that, Kurt, you're having a tune-up for your steel cage match next week. A tag team steel cage match. You and Triple H against Rock and Chris Jericho." The crowd gasps, as does Angle. Before Angle can say anything, Foley says; "If I hear one word, one syllable of complaint, I'll make it a handicap match." Angle keeps his mouth shut, nods in resignation and leaves.

Austin's match against Saturn never even materializes, as Saturn arrives backed up by The Radicals, and the three turn it into a gang-stomping. Regal and Benoit race to the ring to help out, but The Radicals overwhelm them, leaving the three on the mat. As Austin, Benoit and Regal writhe about in pain, Guerrero grabs a microphone. "Hey, esses! You got no fight you? I guess they don't want no six-man match with us at Armageddon, guys, if we can beat up these gavachos so quick-like." Guerrero throws the microphone down and they all stomp Austin, Benoit and Regal a little more for good measure.

Triple H's match with Dean Malenko is a stunning technical affair, nicely balanced by Triple H's strength and Malenko's speed. When the Radicals swarm the ring, the ref goes to signal the timekeeper for a DQ, but Shane McMahon's timely blindsiding of the ref prevents the decision. Shane allows the mugging to occur and wards off Regal and Benoit with swings of his cane, then counts a very academic pinfall for Malenko. As Malenko gets to his feet, Shane unleashes with the cane, splitting Malenko's forehead open. The Radicals are all too stunned to do anything other then take licks from the cane of Shane McMahon, who beats on everyone within swinging distance until the Radicals scurry away. In the midst of Shane's rampage, Jericho sneaks up from behind and tries to disarm Shane. The two end up in a fistfight, which travels out of the ring and into the back. Officials continually try to break up the fight, but anybody who gets in the way gets a fist in the face before the fighters turn back to each other. It is Jericho who finally brings the fight to a stop, though, throwing Shane through a large window in an office backstage. As Jericho looks at what he has done, Triple H sends Jericho grabs Jericho, drags him towards a loading dock and tosses him off. Medical personnel quickly arrive on the scene to check on the conditions of Shane and Jericho; both leave on stretchers.

The Rock approaches the ring for his "personal workout" match, a microphone in hand, although he is still wearing slacks, a unbuttoned collared shirt and sunglasses. "Before The Rock gets to whupping some jabroni ass, The Rock has something to say to Kurt Angle." The crowd cheers for Angle; Rock pauses as the crowd chants for Angle a far cry from the WWF of three months prior. "It doesn't matter to The Rock that you pinned The Rock last week. It doesn't matter to The Rock that you beat The Rock at No Mercy. Last week, you had a Rock not at 100%. There was nothing in it for The Rock last week. It means nothing. No Mercy? The Rock only lost because of Stone Cold Steve Austin. That won't happen at Armageddon. Steel cage ... fifteen feet high. Kurt Angle. The Rock. At Armageddon, Kurt Angle, it'll be different. The WWF Championship is on the line, Kurt Angle, and you can damn well take it to the bank that you'll get the absolute best of The Rock. But more important, The Rock hasn't forgotten, Kurt Angle; The Rock hasn't forgotten how you lied, how you said you saw The Rock in the parking garage in Detroit. The Rock remembers that night very well, and The Rock knows that Kurt Angle is full of grade-A, first-class, blue-ribbon, prime-cut, high-tech, award-winning, Olympic-class monkey crap! And more important to The Rock then the WWF Title is The Rock layin' the smack down on you, Kurt Angle, for lying, for making the people turn on The Rock, for stealing The People's Champion from the people. Expect the best, Kurt Angle; expect the best The Rock has to offer. Expect the angriest Rock the WWF has ever seen. But most of all, expect the biggest ass whipping you've ever had!" The Rock faces the entrance."Now, The Rock has a very special work-out match scheduled. A very special opponent for The Rock to prepare for Kurt Angle. Time for The Rock to lay the smack down on some jabroni."

The opponent is welcomed with music, and it is the same patriotic fanfare that is the signature tune of Kurt Angle. Everyone but The Rock looks confused; he remains stoic as his opponent, not Kurt Angle but his brother, Eric, steps out onto the stage. Rocky stands still as a statue as Eric Angle enters the ring; Rock gestures for Eric to bring it, not even removing his sunglasses. Eric rushes Rock, only for Rock to duck and starting laying in with punches. Eric, however, quickly goes to his wrestling skills and takes Rock down to the mat, stopping Rock's onslaught cold. It is only when Eric inexplicably abandons the mat wrestling and charges Rock does Rock regain the advantage, scoring a spinebuster to set up the People's Elbow. The ref counts the pinfall, but Rock continues to lay into Eric after the bell has run, drilling him into the mat with a Rock Bottom. When Rock rolls out of the ring to grab a chair, Kurt Angle races down to the ring and tries to stop Rock; manages to push him off, grabs the chair and drills Angle in the head. Rocky unleashes his anger on Angle, peppering him with chair shots too numerous to count; by the time Rocky is pulled off Angle, Angle has taken over 20 chair shots to his head, torso, arms and legs.

Raw: Dec. 4, '00

The sound of glass shattering starts off Raw. Austin stomps down to the ring in street clothes, looking angrier then usual. He confirms this in his first words; "In case you don't know who the hell I am, my name is Stone Cold Steve Austin, and I'm pissed off." The crowd cheers without even knowing where Austin is going. Austin paces back and forth and in circles in the ring as he rants. "Two years ago, Vince McMahon made it perfectly clear he didn't like Stone Cold Steve Austin, and didn't see a beer-drinkin', ass-kickin' Texas redneck as his idea of a champion. Vince McMahon made a whole bunch of cash on the blood and sweat of Stone Cold Steve Austin. So, now, I come back, after gettin' damn near killed by some crazy son of a bitch in a parking garage, and I get nothing. I don't get no title shots, because I been gone too long. I don't get no revenge against the son of a bitch who did this, because he's Vince's favorite wrestler. I don't get big time matches cause Vince don't want me takin' over like I did two years ago. Even my old buddy, Mick Foley, he don't want to do nothing for me, cause his buddy The Rock is the guy who done run me over, but he won't listen." Austin gets up close to one of the cameras, leveling a finger. "Vince, you get yourself a Q-tip and clean the wax out your ears, cause I want you to hear this damn clear. This Sunday at Armageddon, I'm gonna beat your three little pieces of crap. I'm gonna beat 'em, and then I'm gonna roll in to Raw, and I'm comin' lookin' for a piece of The Rock, and I figure Linda's gonna give it to me; I'm gonna get me Rocky, and I'm gonna get me what I deserve, which is to put Rocky in the hospital for a year, just like he did to me. And then I'm gonna roll into the Royal Rumble. I'm gonna take 29 pieces of trash and I'm gonna chuck 'em over the top rope, and I'm gonna roll into WrestleMania and take back the World Wrestling Federation Championship once and for all, Vince. I'm gonna do every damn last thing I said just to piss you off, or I will burn this company to the ground tryin', and that's all I got to say about that."

Mick Foley's music hits, ushering down the unpopular Commissioner. Austin verbally abuses Foley as he approaches the ring. "I don't remember callin' out your fat ass, Mick. Just walk yourself back to your donuts in the back before I drop you on that stack of dimes you call a neck."

Foley blinks, stunned at Austin's reaction. "Steve, I'm not out here to be hostile. I'm here to try and mend fences." Foley extends a hand, but Austin refuses it. "Steve, please," pleads Foley. "There doesn't have to be this animosity between us. We've known each other for years."

"And you stabbed me in the back, Mick. You tried to keep me out of the ring, and you won't arrest the bastard who ran me over."

"But that's behind us now! The final summations and conclusions have been sent to Linda McMahon. Next Monday, we will be arresting your attacker."

Austin deadpans. "Who? Is it still Undertaker? Or is it Shawn Michaels? Maybe you wanna arrest my wife while you're at it. Or maybe Trish Stratus. Or Shane McMahon."

Foley just shakes his head. "I'm sorry you won't accept the evidence as presented, but it is what it is. We've delivered it to Linda McMahon, and Vince and I are confident that we will have the green light to make the arrest."

Austin nods, then suddenly gets up in Foley's face. "And what if you don't, Mick? What if Linda craps on your stupid little reports and your evidence, Mick? What then?" Austin gets as close as possible, eyes locked onto each other. "What if Linda says 'arrest The Rock'?"

Foley goes white at the idea. Before he can reply, The Radicals race down the ramp. Regal and Benoit follow out shortly thereafter to join in the fight, driving The Radicals back to the locker room. Foley stands in the corner as the brawl rages, silent and still until Austin, Benoit and Regal clear the ring and turn their attention back to him. Before Austin can get to him, Foley drops out and hides behind The Radicals, who vow revenge.

Vince comes down to the ring unexpectedly, dressed in sweats and workout gear. "Before I get to what I'm out here for, I just have a small piece of business to deal with." "Asshole" chants break out immediately, which end up morphing into "fire The Rock". Vince snarls as the chants pick up momentum. "You'll shut up and let me speak, or so help me God, I'll cancel this whole show!" The crowd's chanting and jeering picks up again, forcing Vince to wait it out. "You people make me sick! Just like how my wife, Linda, is making me sick, overstepping her bounds by assigning Shawn Michaels as a guest referee for my match against Undertaker. Well, since Linda is so excited in putting people in positions where they don't belong, I have a little surprise for her; at Armageddon, during this little triple threat match with Triple H, my misguided son Shane, and a true hero, Chris Jericho ... why, I think they need a referee of special qualifications. I think they need someone like ..." Vince grins, looking all the more like a psychotic crocodile. "I think this match needs my daughter, Stephanie, as the referee!" The crowd audibly gasps at the idea, but Vince beams with pride. "Yes, I think Stephanie will be the perfect choice to officiate this nonsense. I can only hope, though, that her passion and attraction for Chris Jericho won't make it impossible for her to call the match fairly!" Vince beams a little more, despite the crowd's negative reaction. "Now that that's out of the way, I do have business to attend to. It's been a while since I stepped into a wrestling ring, and while I am obviously a specimen of physical superiority compared to Undertaker, it never hurts to be prepared. Therefore, I have cleared room tonight on Raw's schedule for a public workout! Would my sparring partner please come down to the ring now?" Vince says over the boos of the crowd.

Through the curtains steps Crash Holly, approaching the ring cautiously. Vince stands with his hands on his hips as Crash tentatively climbs the steps, regarding Vince with intense skepticism. Finally, Vince snaps. "Dammit, boy, get your ass in this ring or you'll be wrestling in flea markets and high school gyms before the week's over!" Crash steps through the ropes and approaches Vince. "Okay, Crash. Here's what I want you to do. I need to practice some basic moves and reversals. Put me in a hammerlock." Crash hesitates, looking like he's been told to do something he knows he's going to get punished for, but when Vince repeats himself, Crash grabs Vince's arm and puts him in a hammerlock. Vince tries to roll through, but Crash has the hold cinched on; again, Vince tries to get out, but Crash has the hold good and tight. Finally, Vince orderss him to let go and slaps Crash. "What the hell do you think you're doing? I didn't say to do that?"

"But ... you said ..."

"I know what I said. Now don't screw up this time. I want a side headlock. I'm gonna try to get out of it. Don't screw up again, you understand?"

Crash nods and, when Vince bends over, Crash applies the headlock. Vince lets him have his moment before trying to push Crash into the ropes, only for Crash to keep the headlock clamped on. Vince tries again, but Crash goes nowhere. Vince switches tactics and tries to lift Crash up for a back suplex, but Crash throws his weight forward, taking Vince down to the mat with a side headlock takeover. The crowd starts chanting for Crash, but Crash tries to ge them to shush when Vince gets to his feet, his face as red as a fire truck. "What did I tell you?" Crash tries to speak, but Vince cuts him off. "I don't want to hear your excuses. You're an idiot. There's a reason you don't get taken seriously, Crash. You can't even follow simple instructions." Vince sighs, running his fingers through his hair. "Okay. See if you can do this. Can you stand still? Turn your back to the TitanTron and just stand there. I'm going to try something, okay?"

Crash doesn't move quickly enough for Vince, who grabs him by the shoulders and spins him around to face the audience. Vince circles behind him and says; "Okay, now, let's try this, okay, Crash? Your job is on the line." Vince drops down and nails Crash with a nutshot that puts the diminutive hardcore wrestler on the mat. Vince stomps on Crash a few times as the crowd comes unglued; Vince stops long enough to get out of the ring, grab a chair and slide back in. "You're a dolt, Crash! You're an idiot!" Vince continues the verbal abuse until Crash gets to his feet, then smacks Crash between the eyes. Vince uses the chair again a couple more times, then tosses it aside. "Do you see that, Undertaker? This mewling little simpleton just got a small taste of what I'm going to do to you at Armageddon! Armageddon will be the last time you step foot in a WWF ring, Undertaker, and I take extreme pleasure in being the one to retire you!" Vince grabs the chair and gives Crash a few more shots for good measure, then raises his arms as if he's just won a real match and jumps up and down.

The WWF Tag Team Champions square off in individual matches against members of The Radicals, with Regal battling Malenko and Benoit defending his Intercontinental Title against Perry Saturn. Regal and Malenko trade reversals and counters for almost 10 thrilling minutes before Malenko resorts to a crotch shot and pulling the tights to score the pinfall. Benoit earns a DQ victory when Saturn, unable to put Benoit away, resorts to blasting him with a chair.

Shane McMahon barges into Mick Foley's office as he and Vince McMahon are discussing the final details of the Austin case. "Stephanie can't referee my match," Shane insists. "You know she's in no frame of mind to serve as an official."

"That's not my problem," says Vince with a shrug. "Her soon-to-be ex-husband, her illicit lover and her brother, all fighting each other? With her in the middle? That's a money match, Shane. You could learn a thing or two about business if you paid attention."

"Business? Business? Stephanie's mental health is not something you can screw with because you want to make money! Are you really sick enough to put her in a ring when you know she's in no shape to do so?"

"I will do anything to protect this company, Shane. Someday, you're going to inherit this company, and if you want to do me proud, you'll learn the lesson that there is no price that isn't worth paying."

Shane shakes his head. "You're a sick old man. I'm sorry to be your son." Shane starts to leave when Vince calls him back.

"Shane ... if you're really that concerned with Stephanie's well-being in the ring ... I have a compromise." Shane crosses his arms, waiting for Vince to continue. Vince's face lights up, his eyes maniacally wide. "On Smackdown, yes ... I'm seeing ... yes, you. And your sister. Teaming up to face Lita and Triple H." Vince's eerie grin turns on Shane. "How's that for a compromise?" Shane responds by leaving, slamming the door behind him. "Good idea, no?" Vince asks Foley rhetorically.

The screen of the TitanTron flickers as a voice fills the arena. The camera pans back to catch a top-down view of the Undertaker. "It's been ten years I been runnin' this company. Don't let Vince fool ya; the World Wrestling Federation runs under my watch. There ain't been a name that run through this company that ain't been put in front of me, and every damn one of 'em will say they ain't never been the same since I made 'em famous. That ring, it's my yard, and I'm the big dog that runs it, and for ten years, ain't nobody had a complaint. Well, ain't nobody been brave enough to say one." Undertaker lowers his head and shakes it. "And now, Vince McMahon comes along, and suddenly, even though The Undertaker's been the foundation of this company for a decade, I'm expendable. Suddenly, Vince McMahon wants my head, and he wants me gone. Have you seen what I do to people who piss me off, Vince? Ask Shawn Michaels. Ask Mick Foley. They'll tell ya. They seen the darkest side. I've shown them the darkest side, taken them to place you don't wanna know about. You've done made me go and look at the darkness again, Vince. You done pushed me to a place nobody ever did before. Armageddon's gonna be exactly that, for you. I'm gonna roll into Armageddon one pissed off Undertaker. I'm rollin' in on hate and anger, old man. I'm rollin' in with vengeance on my mind." The camera pans back; the flickering light is coming from flames on the ground around and behind Undertaker, burning in the shape of the old Undertaker cross. "Guess who's comin' with me, Vince?"

The cage lowers around the ring for the main event, Angle and Triple H against Rock and Jericho. The match quickly pairs off into Angle/Rock and Triple H/Jericho, with nary a shred of teamwork to be found in the teams. For a while, neither team establishes dominance, as the teammates never work together to establish a unified force. But when Jericho finds an opportunity to pin Angle, Rock pulls him off and the two start to brawl. Triple H takes advantage long enough to score a Pedigree on Jericho, which Rock ignores and goes to climb the cage. Angle pulls Rock off with an Angle Slam, scoring the pinfall victory, but the fight continues between the four combatants. As the foursome brawl, Shane McMahon runs down to ringside, climbs up the cage from the outside and dives onto the group. Triple H and Jericho refocus their efforts on Shane while Rock crawls for the door, only for Austin to come out and slam the door on Rock's head. Austin goes through the door and starts to put the boots to Rock until Angle interrupts him, wanting some of Rock for himself; for his interference, Austin drills Angle with a Stunner, then drags Rock back to the door, positioning his head in between the doorframe and the door itself; he then grabs a chair and swings, crushing Rock's head between the door and the frame. Austin gives the double-fingered salute as Raw goes off the air.

Smackdown: Dec. 7, '00

The final Smackdown before Armageddon kicks off with a non-title tag team bout between Regal & Benoit against Malenko and Saturn. The teams wow the crowd with a fifteen-minute volley of chain wrestling and counters. However, like before, all the science and skill in the world falters in the face of blatant rulebreaking, and Saturn manages to score the pinfall over Regal courtesy of using the ropes for leverage during a cover. The two teams continue their brawl after the bell has rung until Austin stomps down to the ring and delivers Stunners for Malenko and Saturn. Eddie Guerrero comes on Austin's heels and eats a Stunner as well, leaving Austin, Benoit and Regal to toast each other with beers.

As Undertaker works out with a heavy bag, someone comes up behind him and clears his throat. Undertaker turns around and comes face to face with Shawn Michaels. For a few tense moments, the two stare at each other in silence, the air tinged with respect and rivalry. Undertaker turns back to the bag and starts working it over again. "Make it quick," he says with obvious disinterest.

"I just want you to know a couple things, Undertaker," says Shawn. "I don't like Vince any more then you. There's nothing that'd make me happier then to see you break his bony old ass in half." Undertaker's reply is a grunt. Shawn waits and, when Undertaker doesn't elaborate, he continues. "But I'm gonna call this thing down the middle. That's why Linda made me the ref."

Undertaker stops punching the bag and gets up close to Shawn, putting a finger in his chest. "You better be makin' sure you don't go gettin' partial. I won't be takin' to you gettin' pissy at me for what roads we been down and you takin' out frustrations on me. Believe me, son, I won't hesitate sendin' you back to Texas after finishin' the job I started back at the '98 Rumble."

Shawn doesn't flinch or falter. "You didn't just threaten me three days before your big match, Undertaker. Even you aren't that dumb."

Undertaker holds Shawn's gaze for a moment, then smiles humorlessly. "You just do your job like you're s'posed to, Shawn Michaels, and the only person who'll have something to worry 'bout is Vince." Undertaker turns his back