Text By Jed Shaffer

What if...Rikishi Wasn't the Guy Who Ran Over Stone Cold Steve Austin at Survivor Series 1999?

Part I

Our story begins on the October 9th, 2000 edition of Raw. Since coming back weeks before, Steve Austin has turned the WWF upside down in his quest for vengeance against the man who ran him down a year prior. Between Austin's reckless actions, and his blatant attack the previous week on Smackdown, WWF Commissioner Mick Foley has suspended Austin until the investigation is complete. Rumors circulate that Foley has uncovered new clues that might bring the mystery to a close on this very night ... if Austin doesn't tear the federation apart beforehand …

Raw: Oct. 9, '00

Jim Ross has only a few seconds to promote the nights double-header of tag matches--Undertaker & Rock vs. Kurt Angle & Kane, and Triple H & Jericho vs. Benoit & X-Pac--before WWF Commissioner Mick Foley comes down to the ring to start off Raw. But, unlike previous weeks, the hardcore legend is greeted not by his usual raucous pop, but a mixture of cheers and boos from the loyal Austin fans.

"Well," he begins, and the dissenters in the audience voice themselves again, a little louder then before. "I see that some of you are cheering me, and some of you are not ... which means, apparently some of you realise why I did what I had to do Thursday night ... and some of you don't. Now I wanna be real clear, I enjoy getting cheap pops from audiences around the country, but not at the expense of doing my job correctly. So, do I think I was justified in suspending Stone Cold on Thursday? You're damn right I do. But am I going to let the fact that he gave me a Stone Cold Stunner and embarrassed me for a second time on national television prevent me from doing my job? You're damn right I'm not. Now I know word has gotten out that I would deliver the person responsible, and whether you all want to believe it, or whether Stone Cold wants to believe it, I am on his side, and I have spared no expense to bring in a very important person here tonight. Somebody who, like Stone Cold Steve Austin, is a fellow Texan. Somebody who's been hanging a little bit low - somebody who, like Stone Cold Steve Austin, is a former WWF Champion. Hell, he's one of the greatest competitors to ever step inside this ring. Some of you know him as the former WWF Commissioner ... some of you know him as the Heartbreak Kid. Ladies and gentlemen, I bring to you tonight ... Mr. Shawn Michaels!"

Shawn Michaels saunters down to the ring as the audience comes out of their seats. He looks almost as good as he did not a couple years before, walking with a little spring in his step. "Shawn Michaels," says Mick, "as the new WWF Commissioner, let me say welcome to Anaheim, California, my fellow ... my fellow broken down, washed up wrestler."

Shawn's smile is immediately disarming and engaging, like the Shawn of old. "Damn glad to be here, Mick.” "Now listen, Shawn, out of respect for you and everything you've done in this ring, I'm not going to come out here and accuse you of running down Stone Cold Steve Austin." The crowd immediately turns on the idea. Mick scans the audience for a second, then turns his attention back to Shawn. "What I am going to do, however, is present you with the opportunity to explain just where you were and what you did on the night that Stone Cold was run down.”

All the humor is drained from Shawn's face; he looks hurt, let down, even offended. "Well, gee, Mick, you go through the trouble of flying me out here--first class, by the way ... set me up in a five star hotel, you dust off the old HBK music ... but still, nonetheless, you do it while accusing me of running down Stone Cold Steve Austin. Now being the guy I am, Mick, I'm not only gonna tell you what I did that night, hell, I'm gonna tell you what I did the whole damn day." Shawn starts to pace the ring; Mick watches, his face wearing a mask of barely controlled impatient. "Now you're gonna have to bear with me, as I'm sure you can understand this head's taken a lot of chairshots, so I might be a bit foggy. Now, I remember opening my eyes in bed, rolling over, and squeezing my white-hot wife on the butt and giving her a kiss on the cheek, good morning. Then, I got up, brushed my teeth, had a little breakfast, and ... let me see, did I jump on a plane, fly to Detroit, sneak into the Joe Louis Arena and run down Stone Cold Steve Austin? Now, you know my head isn't always there, Mick, but I think I'd remember if I ran down another human being. Call me crazy, but I'm telling ya, that thud on the bumper woulda jogged my memory." Shawn stops in front of Mick and shakes his head. "See, Mick, there's one problem with your scenario: the person you're lookin' for needs a motive. And, well, the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels sure as hell doesn't have one, but I wanna wish you all the luck in the world, and I hope you find your man."

Shawn starts to leave the ring, but is stopped by Mick's words. "Wait, wait, just a second. You claim not to have a motive, maybe indeed you do need a little bit of refresher. Let's take a look at the TitanTron, a little footage from WrestleMania two short years ago. Going for the kick, but no--Stone Cold, bam, a Stunner. Bam, a Stunner, one, two, three, and not only that, Shawn Michaels, when you were down, when you were out, when you had to legitimately pass the torch, he reaches down and offers a Stone Cold salute. So, Shawn, I say to you, do you have the motive? Let me remind you of a little something: you know a question I get asked just about more than everything else? I get asked what was my greatest match. Everybody assumes it's Hell in the Cell with the Undertaker, every single time I say without fail it was Mick Foley and Shawn Michaels at Mind Games, September 1996. You know what their reaction is? 'Uh?' No one remembers 1996, Shawn. Nobody appreciates the trail you blazed so that the WWF Superstars of today could rake in the cash. No one seems to care. And then, Shawn, if it had been me, if I'd rolled off a hospital bed, come to main event the WrestleMania, and not only passed the torch, but been awarded for of all that by having Stone Cold Steve Austin put his middle fingers in my face, if all that had been done to me, I'll tell you what, Shawn; I woulda run the son of a bitch over! So you ask me for motive; I say, you look up at the screen, and when Stone Cold put his middle fingers in the your face, you've got your motive!"

Shawn is now in Mick's face, the cowboy hat off, and the classic HBK temper flaring. "Are you finished? First off, I don't ever want to see that on the screen again, and secondly, you've got a hell of a lotta nerve coming out here and saying what you just said. I guess it's time for the truth, isn't it, Mick."

"I would appreciate the truth. I think everybody here would appreciate the truth."

"Fine, it's time for the whole world to hear ... the number-one suspect Shawn Michaels. Where was he that faithful night? I'll tell you where I was, Mick: I was sittin' at home, watchin' Survivor Series, thinking to myself, what in the hell has the World Wrestling Federation come to when guys are gettin' run down backstage? Now, do I like Stone Cold Steve Austin? No. But I don't hate him either. Now did I do it? I have to tell ya ... if I did, I'd be the one guy doin' what I've always loved to do: be in the spotlight. I'd be the number-one guy once again, right here in the World Wrestling Federation, if I was the man that ran down Stone Cold Steve Austin! And anybody that knows anything about me knows that I thrive on being #1; I thrive on bein' in that spotlight. But I have to tellya Mick; I'm ashamed to say it, but it wasn't me." The crowd buys it--even if Mick isn't so sure--but the crowd obviously looks deflated. "But ..." says Shawn belatedly, and the crowd perks up. "I got an idea about who it was. There's one guy here in the World Wrestling Federation that loves the spotlight as much as ol' HBK; hell, he loves it more than I ever did! He's young, he's hungry, he's successful, and he's got the whole world wrapped around his finger! Think about it, Mick" Shawn pauses for dramatic effect, then adds the fateful punchline: "If ya smelllllalalalalalalala what I'm cookin'."

The mere hinting that the People's Champion could be behind the attempted vehicular homicide of Austin draws boos ... and the unsettled look on Mick's face shows it's a theory he's unwilling to consider. When Debra pays him a visit just a short while later, Mick even goes so far as to accuse Debra of doing it to keep Austin off the road and at home.

Just prior to his big tag title match, Stephanie finds her husband, Triple H. "I tried to have the match changed, Hunter," she says, "but Foley won't even listen to me. He says he's too busy with the Austin investigation to change matches. I don't know who the hell Foley thinks he is, making you partner up with Jericho."

Triple H glares at Stephanie, his face contorted in rage. "I'm having a hard enough time trying to swallow my pride to get through this match. The least you could do is not talk about it, Steph."

"Well, I think, to keep you calm, you need me out the--"

Triple H puts a hand up. "We've been over this a million times, Stephanie. You coming out is a business decision. It's not safe for you out there, not with Chris Benoit. Until I take care of Benoit once and for all, you're staying back here, where it's safe."

"But--" "

No buts, Stephanie." Stephanie pouts, but Triple H pays no attention, and adds;

"Speaking of business decisions, I'm glad you made the right business decision and decided not to accompany Kurt Angle to the ring on a permanent basis. I'll see you after the match, okay?" Triple H kisses Stephanie on the cheek, finishes tightening and lacing his boot, and leaves the room, not noticing her scowl. The match itself runs along the lines everyone expects: Jericho and Benoit spend as much of the match arguing with each other as they do fighting X-Pac and Benoit. The in-fighting derails their team time after team, letting X-Pac and Benoit get massive advantages on their opponents. A miscommunication finally causes the team's downfall, with Triple H sent crotch-first into the turnbuckle by his partner, Jericho, colliding with X-Pac in a clothesline over the top rope, and Benoit making the timely cover. Benoit taunts both Jericho and Triple H, tapping his forehead and smiling maniacally. Directly after, Triple H confronts Foley and demands a one-on-one match with Benoit; Foley grants it at No Mercy.

As the show continues, Foley is confronted time and again with the ugly possibility of his good friend, The Rock, being the guilty party: a brief meeting with Linda McMahon, where Foley tries to insinuate a McMahon was responsible for the heinous act (only for Linda to point out how ridiculous it would be for them to do such a thing when Austin sells tickets), reveals that in Austin's year off, The Rock had supplanted Austin as the #1 seller of merchandise, and even had Hollywood taking a look at him for movie roles. Again, The Rock's name comes up in discussions with other superstars, who point out that The Rock's status outside of the WWF--with visits to the Republican and Democratic conventions, the Tonight Show, and other outside venues--had exploded in the past year since Austin had gone on injured leave. Right before the main event tag match, a courier delivers papers to Foley; Foley shakes his head as he reads the papers and, as Raw goes to commercial, grabs the phone to call security.

The Rock/Undertaker vs. Angle/Kane match mirrors the previous tag match, only with Angle and Kane disintegrating as a team; Kane "tags" Angle in with a chokeslam from the apron to the mat and abandons him, leaving Undertaker and Rock to pick the 2000 King Of The Ring apart and get an academic pin. The celebration is quickly interrupted by Foley, though, who comes to the ring with security in tow. The crowd is not pleased to see the embattled Commissioner, especially in light of the seemingly endless mountain of circumstantial evidence against The Rock.

"I've come out here in the past," he begins, his head hanging heavy, "I've made wild accusations ... but that's not going to happen now. I promised to deliver the person who ran over Stone Cold Steve Austin, and I will! Fortunately, my announcement will conclude what has undoubtedly been the worst week of my professional career. There's a mountain of circumstancial evidence, no doubt many of you have noticed the coincidences lining up ... but circumstancial evidence alone doesn't convict anybody in this country." The crowd almost seems to exhale in unison as Foley leads the monologue away from accusing The Rock ... but the question of who still hangs in the air uncomfortably. "There is a man in this company who has made a career of ending careers ... of dominating people and, when he cannot, eliminating people in violent and almost Satanic fashion. This man is also a man whom Steve Austin has defeated on numerous occasions, quite possible more then any other competitor in World Wrestling Federation history, and this man is not accustomed to being on the losing end, not like Austin has put him in." Foley's glare, which had been scanning the crowd as he spoke, whips around to look directly at the man standing next to The Rock ... The Undertaker. The Undertaker's eyes--as well as The Rock's--go wide with shock. "I don't like it any more then anybody else, but look at history ... this is a man who hit Stone Cold in the back of the head with a shovel. This is a man who tried to bury Stone Cold alive. This is a man who crucified Austin! He threw me and Shawn Michaels off the Hell In A Cell! This man has shown time and again that he is a borderline homicidal maniac. And the last straw, just mere months before Undertaker was suspended last year by Vince McMahon, Austin defeated him in a First Blood match!" The Undertaker tries to reason with Foley, but Foley won't listen. "You can talk until you're blue in the face, Undertaker, but the fact remains that, of anybody in the WWF, there's not one person who's sicker, more demented, more violent and more dangerous then you. As far as I'm concerned, you are my number one suspect." Foley turns to the security force and nods. The security guards surround the ring; Undertaker glares at Foley, but, realizing the numbers game is far and away not in his favor, The Undertaker drops down to the arena floor and allows security to escort him out.

To be continued....