Text By Jed Shaffer

What if...Tully Blanchard didn't fail the drug test and returned to WCW in 1989?

Part III

September-October 1990

Immediately following their disastrous showing at Clash Of The Champions: Fall Brawl, the Slaughterhouse 5 push their campaign for domination of WCW through both words and actions.

First on the agenda for Gary Hart and his men is internal business, chief among them Lex Luger and his failures not only in the United States Championship tournament, but also his hitting Tully Blanchard with a clothesline. Hart calls a "group meeting" on the first episode of World Championship Wrestling after the Clash to air the dirty laundry.

"When this group was assembled, specific goals were laid out, and every man in it had a role," says Gary Hart. "Sid and Steve were picked to be our two-man wrecking crew. Arn Anderson, you're dependable in your role as the enforcer. Tully, our MVP, the crown jewel of the Slaughterhouse 5. But you, Lex ... lately, I'm having trouble seeing exactly where you fit in. We can't count on you to win the big matches ... you screw up simple things like clotheslines ... you couldn't even beat Terry Funk! The guy's gotta be sixty-five!"

"Ya know, Gary Hart, I've been thinking about that too," says Luger. "And you know what I came up with? Sting. You thought having me would bring him into your group. You didn't care about my career; you just wanted Sting on your side! All I was was a means to an end! And since I couldn't deliver that, you couldn't care less about Lex Luger. Where was the reinforcements when Stan Hansen was beating the snot outta me? Where was your leadership when Terry Funk beat me? Or when I faced Barry Windham? Or at any point in time since Sting beat me, huh?"

"Lex, the fact is, we appreciate your efforts, we really do. But the fact is, there are some members of the Slaughterhouse 5 who produce results, and there are some who don't. In the past several months, you haven't been one of the guys producing results. Not the results we expect, anyways. So I've had to shift my primary focus to other, more sound investments, until you ... well, until you're able to show me a reason why I should invest the same amount of time in you that I do Tully."

Luger, with no real justifiable argument to that retort, quietly backs down, letting Hart get back to the rest of the Slaughterhouse 5's business. Hart's second issue is his tag champs, Sid Vicious and Steve Williams, who he insists are being "persecuted" by "madmen" (Rick & Scott Steiner) and "unqualified chumps" (Ricky Steamboat and Barry Windham) who have no business chasing them in the first place. To that end, Hart, on behalf of his clients, puts out a challenge to Windham and Steamboat for a week hence in a non-title match, to prove not only why Vicious and Williams are the most dominant team in the industry, but why Windham and Steamboat don't even belong in the same arena with them. The subject of the Steiners' challenge to a dog collar match at Halloween Havoc is all but ignored, save when Hart says his clients are "not animals", even if they fight like them.

The final issue is the "crown jewel", Tully Blanchard; he and Hart go on their usual tirade about a glass ceiling, politics, Ric Flair and upper management. Blanchard and Hart vow to rally like never before and "storm the ivory towers of WCW" if it takes that to get Blanchard a shot at Sting and the World Championship. Blanchard promises specifically to bring the fight to Sting if he won't step up and accept the challenge (or if he "hides behind the skirt of upper management"), saying Clash Of The Champions was just a taste of what's in store.

The only thing that goes unmentioned and unaddressed is Arn Anderson and his unsettled issue with the new United States Champion Terry Funk. In a singles match later on that show, Anderson, after soundly beating his opponent, looks into the camera and says the beating is what he'd love to do to Funk if it weren't for the TRO.

The following week, Lex Luger gets a crack at TV Champ Brian Pillman. For the first time in seemingly months, Luger wrestles with purpose, punishing the young high-flier with precision strength-based attacks. But in his anger-driven determination to prove his worth, he makes a mistake and Pillman is able to catch him with a tornado DDT for the victory. After the loss, Luger goes off on a tirade, blaming his loss on years of being made to feel inadequate by the fans, at the behest of Ric Flair, sapping his confidence in himself. Everything, he says for what seems like the millionth time since December, is Flair's fault, and he's tired of living in the shadows. Luger then throws down a challenge to Flair: a thirty-minute Iron Man match for Halloween Havoc, a chance to finally step out of the shadows and ascend to his rightful place on top of WCW.

That same night, the non-title tag match between the champs and Ricky Steamboat & Barry Windham goes down. The lack of tag experience does hamper Steamboat and Windham, and the champs are able to exploit it on several occasions. But the superior athleticism of Windham and Steamboat comes shining through, and Dr. Death ends up submitting to a double chicken wing from Steamboat while Windham takes care of Sid on the outside. As Vicious & Williams beat a retreat, Steamboat & Windham lay out their own challenge for Halloween Havoc. This doesn't sit well with the Steiners, who come out the next week and say that, with all due respect, Steamboat and Windham need to get in line.

Standing in sharp contrast to the other champions is Terry Funk, who, rather then waits for challengers to be named or, like the tag champs, ducks credible contenders, seeks out challengers. Three weeks in a row, Funk comes out and offers a shot to whomever has the stones to come to the ring and beat up an old man. And three weeks in a row, Funk dispatches with his challenger. After that third victory, Funk takes to the microphone.

"Ya know, I love the fact that I'm restorin' some pride back to this title," he says, "but there's a guy that, for the past three weeks, I keep expectin' to come through them curtains, and so far, he ain't done it, and I figure that's cause he's a yellow, gutless jackass, and that's Arn Anderson. The spineless dog's been hidin' behind that cueball Gary Hart's skirt and his silly little piece of paper, and not once have I come near him. Well, Arn, see, now maybe you'll get the guts, now that I got something you want. See, I'm willin' to put it all on the line; you and me, one more time, one last time. You beat me, you're the United States Champ, and I'll do you just like I did Flair and shake the hand of the better man. Just tear up that stupid piece of paper, Arn, and meet me at Halloween Havoc. If you're better then Flair like you say you are, then you can do what he did and step in the ring with me."

The following week, a number of situations come to a head, starting with Funk's challenge to Arn Anderson. Gary Hart meets Funk in the ring to tell him that Arn will only agree to it on two conditions: that it will, indeed, be the last time the two meet, regardless of the outcome, and that it be a street fight. No sooner does Funk agree to the conditions then Arn and Tully come from behind and pound Funk into the ground. Sting and Flair run off the S5, and Sting grabs a microphone afterwards.

"For months, fans of WCW, and even the boys back in the back, have called on me, looked to me and said 'Stinger, take 'em out'. 'Cut off the dragon's head,' they said. I kept telling myself this wasn't my fight, this wasn't my problem, I'm the champ. I stood by Ric Flair not to be the general, but to be support." Sting looks at Flair, who is helping Funk get to his feet. "I guess I can't afford to do that anymore. Not when I see men like Terry Funk getting attacked after he stands up like a man, like a champion, and gets his head beat in for it. Not when I see guys getting taken out of here on stretchers just cause they drew the short straw and wound up facing one of the Slaughterhouse 5." Sting raises his head and looks at the camera, his eyes cold and lethal. "Everyone keeps looking at me to stand up for WCW; well, I am WCW!" Sting raises the title belt in the air. "This belt makes me the face of World Championship Wrestling, and as of now, Gary Hart, you and your cronies have worn out your welcome! You think you're ready for the big time, Tully Blanchard? You want your shot? You got it! Halloween Havoc! You get your chance, Tully; put your money where your mouth is!"

Later that evening, the tag champs tangle in a non-title match against two young wrestlers. Vicious and Williams run roughshod over them, and set about their normal post-match abuse of the fallen. The Steiners come to the rescue of the poor youngsters, running off the champs. In the aisle, they bump into Ricky Steamboat and Barry Windham, with whom they trade fisticuffs until the champs beat another retreat, all the way out of the arena. As Steamboat and Windham stand in the aisle, looking on as Sid and Dr. Death run like scalded dogs, the Steiners walk up behind them. Steamboat and Windham turn around and come face to face with the Steiners. For what seems like forever, they do nothing but stare at each other. Scott Steiner starts talking trash; Windham does the same. Suddenly, the tensions erupt, and they start punching away at each other until they're pulled apart by referees and officials.

Gary Hart immediately pounces on the situation and posits that there's no way for both teams to get a shot, so they cancel each other out. But instead of getting them both pushed to the bench, Hart's comments prompt management to book a match between the Steiners and Windham & Steamboat for Halloween Havoc, with the winner to meet the champs at the next Clash Of The Champions on November 20th. Hart protests the decision, calling it a travesty and evidence of the ongoing conspiracy.

The final pieces of the Halloween Havoc puzzle fall into place when Flair and Blanchard accept the challenges put forth by Luger and Sting. Blanchard accepts the title shot eagerly, promising to claim his destiny once and for all by ending Sting's "reign of tyranny"; to emphasize the point, he wrestles a match against a prelim worker dressed up and painted to look just like the champ. Blanchard makes short work of him and even goes so far as to beat the poor kid with Sting's Scorpion Deathlock.

Flair, meanwhile, doesn't bother with theatrics; he comes out and tells Luger exactly what he thinks of him, saying "the only reason you ain't achieved greatness like the Nature Boy isn't my fault, jack; it's cause to achieve greatness, you gotta be great in the first place, and buddy, you're a joke! A fraud! A two-bit muscle-head who's got more excuses then he does talent!"

The last week before Halloween Havoc, Luger has a chance to get some momentum, facing Sting in a non-title match, but his over-confidence once again exposes him one too many times. Sting gets the submission victory over Luger due to Luger's mistakes. Luger leaves the ring and is immediately accosted by Gary Hart, who tells Luger the whole world, especially Ric Flair, is laughing at him. Tully Blanchard comes out and tells Luger that if he wants to keep his butt out of the fire, he better put away Ric Flair, just like he's going to do to Sting. With that, Sting comes up behind him and lays in on him. Hart orders Luger to save Blanchard, but Luger waves it off and walks away as Sting makes Blanchard scream with pain in the Scorpion Deathlock.

October 27, 1990: Halloween Havoc

A last-minute World Tag Title defense is added, much to the consternation of Gary Hart, pitting Sid Vicious and Dr. Death against Doom. While the pair are a formidable tag team, Vicious and Williams don't have much trouble getting past them for a successful defense. They remind the crowd of their victory when they come out to sit in on commentary during the Steiners/Windham & Steamboat match. Both teams get in the faces of the champs as they approach the ring to begin the match; the nearby security leaps into position, ready to pull apart any brawls that might erupt, but the situation diffuses itself.

Once the action begins, though they keep everything above board, they spare nothing against each other. Vicious and Williams unwittingly show a little apprehension at how competitive the two teams are, but try to cover it up with bravado. The evidence in the ring, though, is more then enough to convince any skeptic that the reign of Williams and Vicious is likely in jeopardy, no matter who wins. When the match's time limit of 20 minutes has elapsed without a winner, the crowd boos until the ring announcer says there will be a five-minute sudden-death extension so there can be a winner. As soon as the bell rings, they fight like they're fresh from the showers, as Vicious and Williams watch with obvious growing concern. When the two teams run through the extra period without a decision, Vicious and Williams leave the announce table, enter the ring and attack, using their belts as bludgeons. With the assistance of the hardware and being fresher, Vicious and Williams manage to put the Steiners, Windham and Steamboat on their backs. When the champs leave, their two rival teams are out cold; the ref has no choice but to declare the match a draw, thereby anointing no one the #1 contenders.

With the hostilities between Terry Funk and Arn Anderson over the prior months, it surprises no one that their street fight starts (in every way but officially) in the back halls. The brutality is unlike anything ever seen before in WCW, as they use everything they can find in their environment, including the environment, to draw blood and break bones. Almost 10 minutes of uncompromising violence have passed by the time they finally get in the ring and the ref rings the bell, although it is just a formality at that point. Anderson dents a chair with how many times he clubs Funk, but the champ won't stay down. Somehow, Arn kicks out after being piledriven on the timekeeper's table, although just barely. The finish comes when Anderson finds a glass jar and shatters it on Funk's head, then hits a spinebuster into the broken shards. The ref makes the count, and Arn Anderson captures his first United States Championship. The crowd doesn't like the end, but applauds when Funk, bleeding and exhausted, pulls himself up to his feet and limps up to Anderson to live up to his word. Anderson considers it for a minute, then relents and gives Funk a very brief handshake before leaving.

On the way to the back, Missy Hyatt catches Arn, congratulating him on his victory, and then drops a bombshell. "Arn Anderson, I have it on very good authority that after the match you just had, you may be the next man to get a shot at the World Champion!"

Anderson's eyes go wide for a moment as he considers the situation. "I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, Missy," he says and unexpectedly walks off.

After Ric Flair and Lex Luger are announced, but before the ref can signal the timekeeper to ring the bell, Ric Flair grabs the microphone. "Lex Luger! I am tired of hearing you complain about me holding you back! Tonight, it's your big chance, Lex! Your big shot! And I'm gonna make it easy on you!"

With that, Flair throws the microphone and lays down, then yells at Luger, ordering him in take the free pinfall. Luger looks from Flair to the ref, who shrugs, then back to Flair, questioning what Flair's plan is. Instead of taking the pin, Luger stomps on Flair, and the ref signals for the match to start. Luger's advantage only lasts a little while, as Flair soon counters all of Luger's offense and dictates the pace. Luger gets a shot at a decision at the ten minute mark with a Torture Rack attempt, but Flair falls behind, schoolboys Luger, and somehow keeps Luger's shoulders on the mat for three, putting the score at 1-0. Enraged, Luger throws all finesse out the window and uses his strength advantage to just pound Flair into the mat. A couple minutes later, he gets Flair in the Torture Rack, and Flair submits, tying the score at 1.

But instead of wrestling smart, Luger chases the go-ahead point, and makes enough mistakes to allow Flair to come back. As soon as he sees an opening, Flair goes after Luger's knee, thus beginning a methodical, surgical dissection. Luger wisely rolls out of the ring and does as much stalling and evading as he can, but Flair keeps coming like a shark smelling blood in the water. When Luger rolls back in, Flair is right there and slaps on the figure-four. Luger fights the pain as long as he can, then manages to pull reach the ropes. Flair breaks, then comes after Luger, hits a shinbreaker, and reapplies the hold in the middle of the ring. With time ticking away, Luger tries to hold on, but the pain becomes too much to bear, and he has to submit. No sooner has the timekeeper struck the bell to signal Flair's 2-1 lead then he hits it again for the end of the match. Flair leaves ringside, hooting and hollering and calling for champagne, leaving Luger in the ring by himself, lamely standing on one foot, head down on a turnbuckle. He never hears or sees Gary Hart enter the ring, and doesn't turn when he starts talking.

"You're pathetic, Luger," spits Hart. "He gives you a free decision and you stomp on him? What the hell kind of performance was that? If you think you're the low man on the Slaugherhouse 5 totem pole, you don't have to look any further then the egg you just laid, boy."

Luger stands upright, turns around, hobbles over to Hart and grabs him by the lapels. Before Luger can so much as breathe on Hart, he's torn off the rotund manager by Stan Hansen and clotheslined to Hell and back. With Hart calling for blood, Hansen destroys Luger, finishing off with a blast to the head with the ring bell. Luger has to be carried out on a gurney by medics, his head pouring blood from the impact with the bell.

Backstage, before the main event, Gary Hart and Tully Blanchard (accompanied by Stan Hansen) are met up with Paul E. Dangerously for a pre-match interview. Dangerously asks the obvious question about Luger and Hansen. Hart heartily laughs. "Little man, did you see what happened? Then you know all there is to tell," says Hart. "The Slaughterhouse 5 took out the trash tonight, that's what happened. Lex Luger was an anchor, and now, with Stan Hansen on board, we can focus on the goals at hand, and that's making Tully Blanchard the new NWA World's Champion."

"There's rumors going around about maybe, with Arn Anderson's big win tonight, they may look to Double-A as the next #1 contender. Any thoughts on what might happen if that turns out to be the case, and Tully Blanchard wins the World Title tonight?"

Blanchard takes Dangerously's hand and pulls the microphone over to him. "Look, tubby, the fact is, Arn's a champion already. What does he need to go chasing another belt for, when he has one already? Besides, he's always been an honorable champion, and he's not gonna let himself get distracted going for something he can't get--cause, let's face it, once I win it ... come on. I'm bulletproof! He's smart enough not to waste his time like that."

"Are you saying he can't beat you?"

"Well, ye--no! I'm not saying--no, that's not--you're putting words in my mouth! That's--"

Hart puts a hand over Blanchard's mouth and leans in to talk into the mic. "This interview is over." Hart, Hansen and Blanchard walk away as Blanchard mutters in frustration over Dangerously's questions.

In the ring, Sting shoots his challenger a grim, fierce glare, very un-like the Sting fans know and love. As soon as the bell rings, Sting is all over Blanchard, looking to put him away early and definitively. Blanchard acquits himself ably, but the storm is not easily weathered, and he has to dive out of the ring a couple times to get away from Sting's relentless onslaught. And distractions by Hart do nothing to stop Sting's laser-like focus of shutting up Blanchard, as Sting brushes them off and goes right back after his opponent.

But eventually, Blanchard is able to stop Sting when he ducks out of the way on a Stinger splash. Blanchard slows down the pace, methodically picking apart Sting without having to resort to dirty tricks. On a couple of occasions, Sting gets desperation roll-ups, but Blanchard is able to get back on his game plan. But Sting refuses to stay down, and even kicks out of Blanchard's trademark slingshot suplex. Frustrated, he rolls out of the ring and talks strategy with Hart, then rolls back in, only to be surprised by a roll-up. Blanchard kicks out, but the time spent on the outside was too much, and Sting starts to show signs of life. Sting and Blanchard trade throws and slams, neither getting an advantage, until Blanchard tries for another slingshot suplex; Sting reverses, turns around and hits the suplex on Blanchard, then locks on the Scorpion Deathlock. Blanchard claws and tries to pull Sting towards the ropes.

As Blanchard weathers the pain, Gary Hart jumps up behind the ref's back and uncovers one of the turnbuckles. Blanchard makes it to the ropes and Sting has to break the hold. As soon as Blanchard is on his feet, Sting is on him, swinging wildly; Blanchard rope-a-dopes to the exposed corner, then takes a couple hits and plays possum. Stinger backs up, runs in for a Stinger splash, and Blanchard moves out of the way; Sting bounces off the exposed steel, out cold before he hits the mat. Blanchard jack-knife pins him and puts his feet on the ropes for insurance. The ref doesn't see it as he makes the count, and three seconds later, Tully Blanchard is announced as the new NWA World Heavyweight Champion. The crowd rains down their hatred as Hart and the rest of the S5 fill the ring to celebrate; Hansen and Dr. Death lift Blanchard up on their shoulders and parade him around the ring.

And Arn Anderson watches from the corner, arms crossed.

October-November 1990

With four members of the Slaughterhouse 5 holding gold, suddenly, the most feared stable in the company becomes the bulls-eye everyone wants a shot at. And, naturally, the whining and crying of conspiracy by Gary Hart and his soldiers becomes a broken record with the volume knob stuck at max.

The controversial non-ending to the #1 contendership match for the Tag Titles is resolved on the first episode of WCW programming after Halloween Havoc. Much to the dismay of the champs, destroying their two rival teams and getting the match thrown out backfires, as management awards title shots to both teams; for the Steiners, the wait is only as long as the next Clash Of The Champions, on November 20th. For Ricky Steamboat and Barry Windham, they wait until Starrcade, but get the guarantee that no matter who are the champions come December, their title shot is guaranteed. Vicious and Williams react by proceeding to interfere in matches that neither they nor their rivals are involved in, obliterating everyone standing and running at the first sight of any of their future challengers.

But for all the chaos created by the tag champs and their challengers, it doesn't hold a candle to the firestorm that erupts in the wake of Tully Blanchard's capturing of the World Heavyweight Title. Everybody has something to say, and a way to plead a case for themselves to get the coveted spot of challenger to Blanchard; from former champions saying they deserve a shot because of their former status, to young and hungry lions looking to get a notch on their belt, the line of people looking to knock Blanchard off the mountain is virtually endless. Blanchard himself isn't helpful at all, with him running down every challenger as undeserving (Flair is "yesterday's garbage", Funk is "one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel"), overrated (Sting, who he says was "a kid dressing up in daddy's clothes, and I stripped him to his skivvies in front of the world") or so far out of contention as to not be taken seriously (like Luger, who "makes World Championship Wresling look like a bush league by keeping him on the roster"). When he's asked about Arn Anderson being considered as a challenger, Blanchard brushes it off, saying that "Arn knows all he has to do is ride alongside me, and he'll get everything he could ever want outta life. There's nothing to gain by taking the jewel out of the crown, and Arn knows that."

But despite the lofty opinions of the champion, a challenger is needed, and instead of picking out someone based on achievement, position or reputation, World Championship Wrestling books a 20-man over-the-top battle royal for the next Clash, with the winner getting a shot at Blanchard at Starrcade. At first, Blanchard doesn't betray a drop of sweat over the list of participants: people like the members of Doom, Tom Zenk, Cactus Jack ... guys with big dreams and small resumes. Luger puts in his bid, and Stan Hansen is a step behind, saying he's in for nothing more then to crush Luger.

When the heavy hitters start putting their name in the kitty, Hart and Blanchard start to show a little worry; Steamboat, Windham and Funk are all legit threats, but they find ways to dismiss the dangers should one of them win. The mention of Ric Flair makes Blanchard laugh, as he points out how many times he's beaten Flair in the past year ... but the laughter is nervous and twittery. Hearing Sting has entered gives them nervous shudders.

But when Arn Anderson himself tells Blanchard that he's entered the battle royal, all hell breaks loose. Blanchard and Hart immediately, but politely, ask Anderson to renounce his berth for someone else, insisting that they "have a good thing going here" and Anderson entering it for any reason other then the protection of the S5's interests will "rock the boat".

"We already rocked the boat, Tully," says Arn. "We rocked it until it sank in Feburary, when you convinced me to stab a good friend in the back because we'd be better off without him. We rocked the boat when we left this company in the first place, an idea you convinced me of. You said it yourself when we put this together, that this was about us proving to ourselves, and to the world, we had what it took to stand on our own two feet, as our own men, not just Horsemen. But what I'm beginning to see is that maybe this wasn't about us drawing a line in the sand for ourselves, but you working everyone, even good friends, to get what you wanted. If we're in this together, like you said we were eight months ago, you'll look me in the eyes and tell me the truth; not your truth, but the truth, that we, as friends, can compete for the same prize and not let it get between us." Blanchard stalls and ends up giving Anderson a weak handshake, but glares at him behind his back, a glare that Anderson unknowingly returns in kind when Blanchard isn't looking.

In the remaining weeks before the Clash, wrestlers in the battle royal look for any way they can to score a psychological or physical advantage over the other 19 guys. Stan Hansen haunts Lex Luger's every move, taking every chance he can find to soften up Luger and kill his chances. Sid Vicious and Steve Williams tussle with Ricky Steamboat and Barry Windham, both being among the final entrants in the battle royal. Ric Flair and Terry Funk don't wait for the S5 to come to them; Williams, Vicious, Hansen and Anderson are all in the crosshairs of Funk--armed with his trusty branding iron--and Flair--brandishing a crowbar. With every member knocked out by the steel reckoning of Funk and Flair, the duo serve warning to Tully Blanchard: he's next.

One week before the Clash, Sting and Anderson are put against each other in a non-title match. Arn comes to the ring without any accompanyment, even Gary Hart. Over the course of 20 amazing minutes, he and Sting trade offense in a tight, competitive match, with Anderson keeping on the right side of the rules the entire time. Over the 20 minutes, Sting and Double-A trade offense equally, all the way to the time limit. Sting comes to the center of the ring and offers a hand; reluctantly, Anderson shakes it, but only a little before leaving the ring in a huff. Right behind the curtain, Anderson finds Gary Hart and gets right in his face.

"Where were you?" Anderson asks flatly, his tone screaming that BS excuses will not be tolerated.

"Arn, we gotta watch over Tully! Flair and Funk are in the arena ... they got their weapons ... think of what would happen if those lunatics got to Tully! This company can't keep going without the world champion! The Slaughterhouse 5 can't keep going without him! I gotta protect the crown jewel!"

"So you're saying me, the United States Champion, isn't worth jack, and can't carry this group on his shoulders. That's what you're saying."

"No, I'm--"

But Arn has already turned on his heels and walked away.

Nov. 20, 1990: Clash Of The Champions--Thanksgiving Thunder

Before the World Tag Team Title match can begin, the ring announcer drops a surprise on the teams: the announcement of Barry Windham and Ricky Steamboat as special ringside enforcers. Sid Vicious and Steve Williams blow a gasket as the duo walks up the aisle and stops where the aisle meets the ringside area, dressed in street clothes and holding baseball bats. With the enforcers there, the champs are met with a brick wall when they try to take a cheap count-out loss to keep their titles. At one point, Sid Vicious tries to intimidate the enforcers, but when Windham and Steamboat drop their bats and still stand toe-to-toe with the towering madman, Vicious backs off.

Inside the ring, the champs find the Steiners to be no less of a problem than Windham and Steamboat. Even their brute strength advantage is nullified by the fury with which the Steiners wrestle, as if a divine force is behind them, pushing them to a destiny. Every advantage they can get ahold of--usually by less than honest means--slips through their fingers as the Steiners exert their will, dictating the pace of the match almost unimpeded. Gary Hart, in his clients' corner, is impotent to help his charges with Windham and Steamboat mere feet away, watching; all he can do is watch as the Steiners counter, confound and overwhelm the reigning champions. When Rick Steiner has Dr. Death in a pinning predictament, Hart leaps up on the apron and throws one of his shoes at the ref. The ref goes over to argue with Hart, but before he can signal for a disqualification, Steamboat urges him not to; instead, Windham grabs Hart by the lapel and drags him away. Behind the ref's back, Sid introduces a chair and clobbers Rick, but Steamboat stops the count; Dr. Death argues with Steamboat. Rick groggily pulls Williams over in a roll-up, and just like that, it's over. The ref signals for the bell and announces new World Tag Team Champions. Sid and Williams immediately go after Steamboat; Windham returns from the back and comes to the rescue of his partner, as do the Steiners. Vicious and Williams bid a hasty retreat, leaving Windham, Steamboat and the Steiners in the ring, now slated as opponents for Starrcade. They exchange handshakes, but Windham and Steamboat leave the ring casting a skeptical eye towards the brothers.

Before the battle royal, Tully Blanchard and Gary Hart approach Arn Anderson and try to convince him to bow out. Arn glowers at his friend and his manager; his cold, hard gaze is enough of a response for Blanchard and Hart.

"I know you'll do the right thing," says Blanchard nervously as he backs away.

Not even half the participants for the battle royal are in the ring before people start brawling; Sid Vicious and Dr. Death kick off the hostilities by going after Barry Windham and Ricky Steamboat. By the time the ring has all 20 men and the bell rings, a full-scale war has already erupted, with alliances forming and breaking down seemingly in the blink of an eye. Steamboat gets tossed by Sid and Dr. Death, but Dr. Death gets clotheslined over the top by Barry Windham. Arn Anderson eliminates four people by himself, including Tom Zenk, both members of Doom and Terry Funk, who is distracted by Dr. Death on the outside. But Arn also gets in on the job of dumping Sid Vicious, which he does alongside Barry Windham, Lex Luger and Brian Pillman. Luger gets five eliminations, and looks to be getting his sixth when Stan Hansen comes up from behind and dumps him. Hansen surprises everyone by jumping over the top rope and eliminates himself so he can beat on Luger more.

The action comes to a brief halt when it gets to the final four: Sting, Ric Flair, Arn Anderson and the Cinderella of the battle royal, Brian Pillman. Pillman, Sting and Flair, trying to catch their breath, all cast their eyes to Anderson; the Enforcer readies himself for the three to advance on him, and they do just that. Anderson throws punches for as long as he can to keep them at bay, but the numbers game gets out of control quickly, and he plays it smart by taking a dive to the mat. In doing so, Pillman accidentally clocks Flair, and the two pair off, while Sting advances on Anderson. Pillman leaves Flair dizzy with his high-flying offense, but takes one too many risks and gets crotches on the top rope by Flair while trying another aerial move; with Pillman stunned and in perfect position, Flair is able to dump him off to the floor.

Sting, meanwhile, works on Anderson, but can't get him over. Anderson holds onto the ropes and fights against being dumped with every ounce of strength he has; finally, Sting has to give up, drag him back in and try to weaken him for an easier tossing. A whip into the ropes is reversed by Anderson, but Sting kicks Double-A in the face to stop a spinebuster and DDT's him. But when Sting puts Arn back in the corner, he tries for a Stinger splash, only for Anderson to move out of the way. Sting eats the turnbuckle, and Anderson has no trouble tossing Sting over the top. Anderson collapses in the corner, looks up and sees Flair, across the ring, slumped in the opposite turnbuckle.

Slowly, exhausted and sore, they come to the center of the ring, eyes locked on each other as the crowd goes crazy with the prospect of the two former friends squaring off for the first time ever. They stand in the middle of the ring, glaring at each other ... and then suddenly, they explode, trading punches, the whole purpose of the battle royal forgotten in the heat of the moment. The hostilities transition into an actual wrestling match, albeit with neither man looking for pinfalls or submissions--just the humiliation of his opponent. For over five minutes, neither one makes a single attempt at tossing the other, as they are consumed with punishing each other. Even when Flair goes to the top rope, Anderson doesn't even think to toss him; he just slams Flair to the mat and they keep wrestling.

After several minutes of a thrilling wrestling confrontation, Flair starts to lead Anderson to the ropes to throw him over. Flair fights and pushes, while Anderson holds on as best he can. With one hand, Anderson reaches up and puts a thumb in Flair's eye; immediately, Flair lets go. Anderson grabs Flair by the hair and the trunks and launches him over the top ... but he turns his back before Flair makes contact, and doesn't see Flair land on the apron. When Anderson turns around, Flair taunts him; Anderson runs, and Flair drops down, pulling the top rope, sending Anderson sailing to the floor. The bell rings and, barely audible over the screaming crowd, is the announcement of Ric Flair being the winner of the battle royal, and guaranteed the title shot at the World Champion at Starrcade.

He only gets to celebrate it for a couple heartbeats before Tully Blanchard runs into the ring and clocks Flair in the head with the belt. Blanchard stomps away at Flair, screaming the entire time about how he's already beaten Flair before and how he's proven who the better man is. Gary Hart, Stan Hansen, Sid Vicious and Dr. Death come down and join in on the beating ... while Arn Anderson watches from the outside.

November-December 1990

With just under a month left between Thanksgiving Thunder and the year's biggest event, Starrcade, the sides in the war between World Championship Wrestling and the Slaughterhouse 5 draw their final battle lines.

For Sid Vicious and Dr. Death Steve Williams, the problem is one of being on the outside looking in. With the Tag Team Titles around the waists of the Steiners, and Barry Windham & Ricky Steamboat locked in for a title shot at Starrcade, Vicious and Williams are left without an invitation to the party. Williams is fortunate enough to have one fall into his lap in the form of Terry Funk, looking for retribution for being eliminated in the battle royal thanks to Williams' timely (and illegal) distraction. The two promptly engage in brawls wherever and whenever they cross paths.

With his partner busy, and a thirst for gold still on his tongue, Vicious targets the only gold readily available: the Television Title. During a defense by reigning champion Brian Pillman, Sid steps in and annihilates both challenger and champion, then gets on the microphone and--in case it wasn't clear by powerbombing Pillman into oblivion--states he wants the Television Title, and he wants it at Starrcade. Pillman, one of the company's most prolific, fightingest champions in recent times, eagerly accepts the challenge a week later, emphatically stating he's not afraid of the size difference at all.

Lex Luger, cast out of the Slaughterhouse 5, targets the two men who executed his expulsion: Stan Hansen and Gary Hart. On the first episode of World Championship Wrestling after the Clash, Luger appears in studio to talk about turning the tables on Hart and Hansen.

"I feel sorry for Hansen, really," he says. "He's just meat to Hart, just a big dumb workhorse. Hart doesn't care about him, and when Hansen drops the ball, Hart will throw him away, just like he did me when I couldn't deliver what he wanted. You see, I finally woke up and saw the truth, that it wasn't Ric Flair holding me back. It was me. I defined myself by comparing myself to him, being in his shadow, for so long, I forgot what it meant to be The Total Package Lex Luger. Hart was never interested in helping me achieve all I could be; he just wanted as many soldiers as he could get. Gart Hart, Stan Hansen ... Starrcade is coming up, and it's time for Lex Luger to make his mark once and for all in World Championship Wrestling. It's time for Lex Luger to step out of my own shadow and step into the spotlight. And I wanna do that at your expense. I want you, Stan Hansen, at Starrcade ... and if I win, I want Gary Hart, for five minutes, alone in the ring, to teach him the lesson he needs to learn."

Hart, unable to contain his own ego, leaps at the challenge, and even says; "In a way, I almost hope my boy, Stan Hansen, loses. Cause nothing, nothing, would give me as much pleasure as to slap the yellow off your teeth, Luger. But I think I'll just tell my new assassin to send you to the hospital instead."

On the same program, during Luger's match, Hansen and Hart storm the ring. Luger, being blindsided, can't mount a defense against the S5's "assassin". But he gets some unexpected reinforcements in the form of Ole Anderson, who leaps the guardrail, a tire iron in hand, and swings until Hart and Hansen retreat. Ole helps Luger to his feet and the two shake hands; Ole promises to stand in Luger's corner and be his equalizer at Starrcade, so he can have a front row seat for when Luger breaks Gary Hart in half.

The final member of the Slaughterhouse 5 to get their ticket stamped for Starrcade is Arn Anderson, who gets the honors of taking on former World Champion Sting. Even with the recent tension between Arn and the S5, the group seems elated with the idea of the Enforcer taking out Sting.

The excitement turns to trepidation when they find out that the match is for the #1 contendership to the World Champion.

Immediately, Tully Blanchard and Gary Hart try to find polite ways to ask Arn to throw the match, or bow out completely. Arn brushes them off, but on the final episode of World Championship Wrestling before Starrcade, after Arn successfully defends his US Title, Blanchard and Hart confront him in the ring.

"Arn, we need to talk," says Hart. "This nonsense tomorrow ... you and Sting ... you can stop it still. There's time. In-fighting isn't what the Slaughterhouse 5 is all about, Arn! We look out for each other! We protect each other! This is just more politics by Flair to sabotage us!!"

"Arn, think back to when we came back to this company," says Tully. "How we vowed to extinguish all the talk about us being Flair's lackeys, and stepping into the spotlight he kept us out of for years. We did it, Arn! We did it! I'm World Champion! You're United States Champion! We've reached heights he never would've allowed us to shoot for when we were Horsemen! What do we gain, what do we prove, if we start going after each other, Arn? All it does is serve the will of that pathetic old shell, Ric Flair. He wants us to tear ourselves apart. If you go through with it tomorrow, if you beat Sting, you're not doing yourself any favors; you're falling into the same old trap he uses, Arn. He keeps us running in place while he sprints for the finish line, while he steals the glory. That's what he does! You're falling for it all over again!"

"Or maybe he's waking up to your lies," says Sting, walking down the aisle. Beside him is Ric Flair, looking dapper in his three-piece suit. "Maybe Arn's finally seeing that the only one playing old Horsemen games is you, Tully! It's funny how you made sure to target me and let Arn fend off guys like Terry Funk, so you wouldn't have to be bothered. It's funny how you became the 'crown jewel' of a group that was supposed to be a group of equals. Ain't it funny, Ric?"

"Woo! Stinger ... right there, in that ring ... you know what I see? I see a man who's scared to death! I see a guy who knows he don't have what it takes to be champ, and I see a guy who's got what it takes but keeps gettin' pushed back. Arn, we may never be friends again, and if that's true, that'll break my heart, but hear me right now, listen to what I'm saying: I knew five years ago you were World Champ material. I knew you could be champ from the first minute we rode together as the Four Horsemen ... and I knew that, if that chump next to you ever got there, he'd be a fluke, a fraud, a guy who'd lose it in his first defense. He's all mouth, and you're the real deal, Double-A! I knew it then, and I'm here to tell ya right now, I was scared to death of you! I was scared to death, and if you think I held you back ... you're right! I did everything I could to keep you away from coming after me, cause I knew you were the biggest threat walkin' the Earth. I didn't have to keep that fraud there with you down; he did it himself! And if you  lay down tomorrow, history won't remember the Arn Anderson the Enforcer ... it won't remember the guy who made the TV Championship, or the guy who terrorized the tag team divison ... Arn Anderson will go down in history as the man who flushed his career down the toilet for a paper champion!"

Blanchard, his bravado riled up by the words of Sting and Flair, steps through the ropes and hops down to the arena floor, coming at Flair and Sting, who watch with big smiles. Blanchard walks up to his enemies and starts talking trash, daring them to take a swing. Sting smiles big and points behind Blanchard; the champ turns around and notices that Arn Anderson is still in the ring, instead of having his back. Humbled, Blanchard backs away, shoulders slumped, towards the ring. Before he can say anything to Anderson about what happened, Double-A leaves the ring. Sting and Flair stand aside and let him pass, but he stops in front of Sting. For what seems like an eternity, they stare at each other ... until Anderson offers a hand. Sting takes it and they clinch hands, eyes never moving from one another's. With hands squeezed tight enough to break a rock, they glare at each other; then, Anderson draws a thumb across his throat. Sting smiles and lets loose with his trademark scream, to which the audience does it in return. They release their grip on each other's hand, and Anderson walks away.

"You're not gonna derail my career, old man!" screams Blanchard. "You're not gonna ruin me and poison my friends! I'm gonna bury you at Starrcade! I'm gonna bury you, Flair! You're gonna wish you were dead, Ric Flair! You're getting in the ring with a caged animal, and at Starrcade, they're letting me loose on you!"

"Tully Blanchard! Woo! Did you say you're a caged animal? Did I hear you say that? Cause that sounds great to me! Steel cage, you and me!"

December 16, 1990: Starrcade

One of the five matches on the slate for the Slaughterhouse 5 stable kicks off the annual centerpiece show on the WCW schedule, being Dr. Death Steve Williams' tussle with Terry Funk. The two put on a crazy, stiff-as-nails brawl, but unfortunately for Funk, the younger, stronger Williams is too much to handle. An Oklahoma Stampede puts the wily veteran down for the count. As Williams celebrates, Funk asks for a microphone. Out of breath, one hand rubbing his aching back, he speaks softly, respectfully. "You know something, Steve ... it sticks in my craw as a Texan that I just got beat by a piece of crap Sooner, but the fact is, you're a better man then me. I've done accomplished a lot in my life, and it's been a long career to boot. And while I'd like to stay stick around and slap the stupid outta Gary Hart's head, I know when I been beat, and over the past few months, I been beat enough. So as of tonight, I'm lettin' y'all know I'm hangin' up the boots. I'm retiring." Funk crosses the ring and offers a hand to Dr. Death. "Here's hopin' you pull your head out and ditch that tub of crap you got as a manger, Steve," says Funk. Williams takes the hand, then pulls Funk in, picks him up and nails another Oklahoma Stampede as the crowd rages all but comes out of their seats. Williams grabs the microphone and yells "Now you're retired!" to Funk's unconscious body.

Similarly, Sid Vicious' battle with Brian Pillman doesn't give the crowd a go-home-happy moment, as all the speed and breathtaking moves in the world doesn't help Pillman survive a powerbomb. And for no good reason, Vicious hits a second one on Pillman, who is all but comatose after the first one. The second leaves the TV Champion a broken heap of bone and flesh, and the pinfall, making Vicious the new Television Champion, is academic.

But while the World Tag Team Title match is polarizing in the fact of having four beloved wrestlers, that it has no S5 representatives is a welcome breath of fresh air. There audience finds nothing to complain about as the two teams unload their arsenal and then some in an effort to be called the best tag team in the land. For twenty solid minutes, the advantage ping-pongs at a rapid pace; not once is there a dirty tactic or a deceit. Just two, hard-working teams putting it all out there. And though the crowd is split down the middle, they all rise to their feet and give the crowd a standing ovation when Scott Steiner pins Barry Windham for the win. The Steiners offer a rematch any time Windham and Ricky Steamboat want one and seal it with handshakes all around.

Stan Hansen comes to the ring like an ancy bull, ready to leap from his pen and gore the nearest cowboy. In his corner, Gary Hart salivates as Lex Luger comes to the ring, with Ole Anderson in tow. His malicious smile is quickly erased as Luger shows the fire missing from his offense missing for almost a year. Hansen comes roaring back, using his brute toughness to try and overpower Luger, but the Total Package answers with his own displays of raw power. The crowd gets behind Luger like never before as he rallies from Hansen's vicious attacks and Hart's constant interference. After Luger has two chances to end the match blown by Hart interference, Ole Anderson comes after him, making sure his tire iron is visible. The chase distracts Hansen, and Luger is able to mount a comeback offense, leading to a Torture Rack in the middle of the ring. Hansen refuses to quit, but with nowhere to go and no counter, he has no choice but to endure the pain. Before the ref can stop the match and award it to him, Luger drops Hansen, targets the back with several precision attacks, then puts Hansen back in the Rack. The tough-as-nails Hansen cannot resist this time, and submits.

Immediately, officials swarm the ringside area and corner Hart, who tries to escape by going over the guardrail; they grab him and pull him back, forcing him into the ring to fulfill his stipulated five-minutes-alone with Luger. But instead, Luger asks for a microphone. "For the past year," he says as he's catching his breath, "this man has made me feel worthless. There's nothing in this world I'd like to do more right now then to whip him like a dog. But there's another guy who he humiliated, a guy who stayed home and watched this gutless snake run unchecked through World Championship Wrestling." Luger turns and looks out to Ole. "You've earned this, Ole. Come get some payback." Ole Anderson climbs into the ring eagerly, even as Hart's face goes sheet white. Before he sets to getting revenge, Luger adds; "I just want to let you know, in front of the world, Ole ... what I did ... what we did, ten months ago ... that was wrong. I'm sorry."

"Lex," says Ole, "the only person who I wanna hear beggin' for forgiveness right now is that pathetic, yellow dog over there." Ole tosses aside the tire iron, rubbing his hands together as he advances on the orchestrator of his year-long exile. Hart drops to his knees, begging for mercy, but Ole lets out the Horsemen in him, punching and stomping on Hart until he squirms out under the bottom rope and runs. Luger blocks his retreat and throws him back in, just in time for Ole to pull off his belt and start lashing him across the back, making the vile manager scream and cry like a child. By the time the five minutes are up, Hart's back looks like a road map and tears are cascading down his face. He falls out of the ring in a heap and scrambles clumsily to the back, a beaten, bloody mess. The crowd happily applauds for Lex and Ole as they make a triumphant walk to the back.

With the #1 contendership at stake, Sting and Arn Anderson show no sign of weakness as they meet, standing nose to nose in the middle of the ring. They stay that way for a good thirty seconds after the bell rings, not saying a word. Finally, they both go for a collar-and-elbow tie-up that lasts a good twenty seconds of them jockeying for the advantage. When they start trading offense, every maneuver is sound and crisp, every move calculated and precise. No wasted movement and no unnecessary chances taken. And, in a surprise to the crowd, when Anderson has the opportunity to take short-cuts, he backs off instead. The newfound, fair-play side of Anderson takes the crowd by surprise and gets a polite, if cautious applause, waiting for the Double-A of the last year to come roaring back. But it never does, and as the minutes tick by, it becomes apparent that, like Sting, Anderson wants to earn his win the right way.

Out of nowhere, off a reversed Irish whip, Anderson plants Sting with a spinebuster, but Sting kicks out at two and a half. Slowly, he starts to fight back and take control; everyone holds their breath to see if Anderson will resort to cheating, or worse, if some of his cohorts will come out. Neither happens. When Anderson is put in the corner and Sting goes for the Stinger splash, it seems like the entire arena turns away, for fear of Sting coming up short again; he doesn't. Sting drags Anderson to the middle of the ring and grabs Anderson's legs for the Scorpion Deathlock, but Anderson surprises him by reaching him and pulling Sting down into a small package. The ref makes the count and just like that, Anderson gets the pin. Sting is visibly irritated and starts to walk away. But he stops in the middle of the aisle, head cast down, hands on hips as Anderson is in the ring with his arm raised. Sting turns and looks at the scene for a moment, then comes back to the ring. Anderson tenses up, waiting for Sting to strike; instead, Sting offers a handshake. Anderson takes it, and Sting raises Anderson's hand. Sting gestures between the two of them, as if to say "one more time, some time down the line"; Anderson gives Sting a nod and a smile, and Sting walks away, letting Anderson have his moment.

Ric Flair comes out first, looking at the imposing steel cage with a grin, for once not playing up to the reaction of the fans. Conversely, Tully Blanchard comes out looking nervous and hesitant to step foot near the structure, let alone inside it. After much prodding and repeated commands from the referee and numerous officials, Blanchard surrenders the title belt--reluctantly, as if he's putting his only child in a lion's den--and steps into the ring. Flair allows Blanchard to get through the ropes without incident ... but as soon as the door closes, Flair charges and takes Blanchard down to the mat, throwing a hurricane of wild punches at Blanchard's head; some land, some don't, but Flair doesn't notice one or the other.

For the first half of the match, it never gets more scientific then that, as Flair and Blanchard go back and forth with outright brawling and use of the cage to turn each other into bloody messes. When Blanchard get the advantage, he takes his sweet time dishing out punishment, savoring every strike and suplex he delivers. When Flair kicks out of pinfall attempts, Blanchard just takes it as a sign to inflict more punishment at his "oppressor", only Flair keeps kicking out. A slingshot suplex--Blanchard's trust finisher--is brushed off on a two count. A superplex is endured and kicked out of at two. Even coated in his own blood from forehead to neck, Flair refuses to stay down, and after several minutes, it frustrates Blanchard. After a second slingshot suplex attempt does nothing to keep Flair's shoulders on the mat, Blanchard rather overtly makes a "come on out" gesture.

From the back, Sid Vicious comes out, grabs the world title from the timekeeper and tosses it over the cage wall. Blanchard catches it, squares up his shot and stalks Flair, waiting for him to stand so he can get tattooed between the eyes. But Flair surprises Blanchard and, as the champ charges, brings Blanchard down, face first into the belt, with a drop toe hold. Flair makes a pinfall, but Blanchard kicks out at the last millisecond.

Vicious grabs the ref by the door, takes the key out of his pocket and throws him aside as easy as tennis ball, then goes to work on the lock. But before he can get the door open, Arn Anderson comes from behind and slams Vicious face-first into the cage. Blanchard stares in dumbfounded amazement at Anderson and asks him what he's doing. Anderson responds with a glare as cold as deep space and a hand gesture of five fingers ... and then Anderson folds in the thumb. Blanchard's eyes go wide.

The look disappears when Flair throws him face-first into the cage once, twice, three, four, five times in a row. By the time Blanchard collapses onto the mat, he is as limp as a wet dishrag. Flair goes to work on Blanchard's leg, kicking and stomping on it for a solid sixty seconds, then puts on the figure-four. Blanchard tries to hold on as long as he can, but with no rope breaks and the ref unable to order Flair to break the hold, Blanchard is stuck; Flair even resists Blanchard's tries to roll over. Reluctantly, almost in tears, Blanchard screams out his submission. The audience explodes as the timekeeper rings the bell; Anderson just about tears the door off to get in the ring and walks up to Flair. The new champ looks up at his old friend and, with a smile radiating happiness down to his soul, takes his friend's hand and gets pulled to his feet.

Within seconds, the ring floods with well-wishers; Ricky Steamboat, Terry Funk, Brian Pillman, the Steiners, Barry Windham, all raise Flair's arm and shake hands with Anderson. There is a tearful moment when Ole Anderson comes in and, after regarding each other for a handful of moments, embraces his cousin. The final well-wisher is Sting, who shakes hands with both Flair and Anderson and stands between them, raising their arms together as confetti drops and the audience gives a standing ovation to the new champion.

The End

(Many thanks to WrestleCrap Forum member Tull, for his invaluable contributions in getting this edition of RTB off the ground.)