Text By Simon Rawls, Jed Shafer, and Neil Cathan

What if...Raven defeated Tommy Dreamer at Wrestlepalooa 1997?

 

Interludes II

 

“Every man who is not a monster, mathematician, or a mad philosopher, is the slave of some woman or other.” - George Eliot

 

September 22nd, 1998: WCW Saturday Night

 

Squaring off against the never to be taken lightly Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart, Hobo Tommy- accompanied by Raven- and Neidhart wrestle a very evenly fought match. But after “The Anvil” ducks his head for a backdrop, Tommy hits a swinging neckbreaker and follows up with his Hobo Drop (backbreaker dropped into a neckbreaker), getting the three count.

 

Raven then comes in the ring and throws Tommy his bindle. “It’s his fault you’re this way, Tommy!” Raven screams. At this, Hobo Tommy takes his bindle and hits a still fallen Jim Neidhart right smack dab in the middle of his rib cage, causing him to yell out in pain and turn on his stomach. Tommy cracks him in the back then looks at Raven. “No mercy, Tommy!” Raven screams. At this, Hobo Tommy cracks “The Anvil” in the back of the head, then the back of the neck as he shouts bloody murder. Finally, after a dozen or so shots, Tommy finally stops and he and Raven leave an agonizing “Anvil” to writhe in the ring.

 

October 25th, 1998: WCW/nWo Halloween Havoc

 

At WCW’s annual spooktacular, Kidman, a spooktacular sight himself, makes his way to ringside seeming completely aloof to the crowd’s booing. He’s not in costume, but he could have fooled most of the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas crowd. Wearing a tattered black shirt with a red skull, tattered jean  shorts, with unkempt hair in his eyes- which even with his jet black hair over them one can still see large black circles around them- Kidman looks more like a zombie than a real person. Perry Saturn is announced next and he comes down to great cheers, much deserved as how he has single-handedly stood up to Raven and his Flock over the last several months.

 

Kidman attacks Saturn as soon as he enters the ring, but it backfires as Saturn is ready for him. The former Army ranger takes it to Raven’s disciple, knocking him from one end of the ring to another. It looks like it may be a quick night, but Kidman is able to execute a devastating hurricanrana to turn the tide. He then lands a hard drop kick on Saturn’s mush and takes it to him. A fireman’s carry neckbreaker nearly earns him three, but ever tough, Saturn kicks out. Kidman attempts a diving bulldog while running up the ring ropes but Saturn throws Kidman off him hard to the mat. Both are slow to get up, but Kidman is on his feet first and approaches Saturn, only to be met with a superkick. The two slug it out with Saturn besting his smaller opponent. He hits a Thesz Press nearly getting three. He follows up with the Saturn Cutter (three quarter facelock bulldog) and only a foot under the bottom rope saves Kidman from a three count. Saturn attempts to finish Kidman off with the Death Valley Driver, but Kidman counters it into a DDT. He then ascends to the top rope and attempts the seven year itch (shooting star press) but Saturn moves out the way at the last second. He then rolls over to Kidman and locks in the Rings of Saturn. Kidman squeals and screams, desperately trying to escape. But with nowhere to go, he is eventually forced to submit.

 

November 2 Remember, November 1, 1998

 

Shane Douglas, ECW Champion, is bleeding, staggering, on spaghetti legs, as Tommy Dreamer peers through his stringy, greasy hair, letting Douglas dangle like a worm on a hook. Dreamer kicks him in the balls, dropping Douglas to his knees. Francine gets in the ring and gets between Dreamer and Douglas, begging for Dreamer to spare her man from whatever sick horror he has planned. The glare Dreamer shoots at Francine is nothing but malice and rage. He pie-faces Francine onto her backside, grabs Douglas' head in a front headlock and jerks back, hitting a picture-perfect Dreamer DDT onto a stop sign. But instead of pinning Douglas, Dreamer gets back to his feet and stalks Francine ever so slowly. He does not show any glee or enjoyment on his face as he looms over Francine. But Dreamer does look furious, and it shows when he pulls Francine to her feet by a handful of hair. He stills her physical protests by jerking her head back by the hair, and then, loud enough for the cameras to pick up, he says inches from her face; “Now, I send you back to Hell, where bitches like you belong!” Dreamer pushes her down into the front headlock –

 

And the lights go out in Lakefront Arena. The crowd, smart to what that means, starts going nuts in anticipation of the surprise incursion.

 

And when the lights come back up, it is one person nobody expects to see, least of all Tommy Dreamer, judging by his face having lost all color. For it is the man who has been a symbolic father to Tommy, the man who, a year and a half ago, ended Raven's reign as ECW Champion, the man for whom Dreamer gave up his shot at Raven at ECW's first PPV: Terry Funk.

 

But Funk makes no motion towards Dreamer. He only stands, watching, his face a puzzle; is it disappointment? Confusion? Pride? Anger? Whatever it is, Dreamer is spooked by his mentor's sudden return to ECW. And then, the question is answered when Funk says calmly; “Let the woman go, Tommy.”

 

Dreamer does indeed let Francine go (unceremoniously, letting her fall to the mat like a sack of potatos). Dreamer and Funk stand across from one another, eyes locked. Funk's face is a tangle of emotions now, all of them shades of disappointment. But Dreamer's is easily read: horror. Sheer, unadulterated horror.

 

That's when Douglas comes back from the dead, burying an arm in Dreamer's crotch. Douglas rolls him up and gets the three to put an end to the match. By the time Dreamer has pulled himself to his feet in the closing seconds of the PPV, Douglas and Francine have beat a hasty retreat … and Funk is standing at the entranceway, looking at the ring, at his former protege, shaking his head.

 

Hardcore TV, Nov. 7

 

Footage is shown of the end of November 2 Remember, focusing on Funk's surprise return. In the closing seconds of the footage, Joey Styles says in the voiceover that cameras caught up with Funk later on that night, after the show was over.

 

Funk is sitting in the bleachers, elbows on his knees, eyes cast down. “Tommy … I … I feel like I failed you.” Funk shakes his head. “I feel like this is all somehow my fault. Maybe if I'd insisted you take the spot in the three-way last year, and you'd gone on to face Raven last April … maybe … I don't know, man!” Suddenly, Funk is on his feet, and he wings the chair he's sitting on across the venue. “Dammit, Tommy, this ain't you! This ain't you at all! This is that son of a bitch Raven! Ya let him get in your blood and ya let him get in your head, just like I did with that banana-nosed son of a bitch Flair nine years ago, and look what happened! Ya dressin' like him, actin' like him, talkin' like him! Ya let your hair grow out like a damned hippie …” Funk stops his pacing and frantic movements and stares into the camera. “And you put your hands on the women, Tommy. Tammy, Francine, Lori … they done nothing to ya, and you try to hurt them anyway. Why? Why, Tommy? It's bullshit, Tommy. It's all bullshit. You know it, and I know it. Tonight, what I did in that ring, that was your wake-up call. I love you. You and Mick, you're the sons I never had. Mick don't need my help anymore, Tommy .. but you do. I love you like blood, Tommy … but tonight, that was your warning. I ain't never had to be that kind of dad to you. Please don't make me start now.”

 

Hardcore TV, Nov. 14

 

The highlight of the show is the main event from a house show from November 7^th, a six-man tag match pitting Dreamer and the Dudleys against the Triple Threat. Predictably, it's a chaotic mess, with run-ins from Little Spike Dudley and Balls Mahoney (targeting the Dudleys) and Lance Storm (targeting Dreamer, for an attack on Tammy Lynn Bytch weeks before). Dreamer's attention keeps getting drawn to the women of the Triple Threat, and this costs his team the match, as the Dudleys fall to the greater numbers. But Dreamer doesn't mind, as his focus is on the women. But as he's backing them into a corner at ringside, a hand reaches across the guard rail. Dreamer's head whips around and, once again, he is face to face with Terry Funk.

 

“Boy, I done told you I won't stand to watch you do this,” says Funk calmly.

 

Dreamer responds by wrenching his hand out of Funk's grip, then gives Funk a shove. The old man stumbles back and lands in the lap of a fan. Funk is back on his feet in no time and is ready to scale the guardrail, but security stops him. Dreamer's taunting words can be overheard by the front row, and clearly on TV; “You're not ECW anymore, Terry! And neither are these bitches!”

 

Hardcore TV, Nov. 21

 

A classic static-cut recap of the past few events goes over Tommy Dreamer's war against the women of ECW, as Joey Styles narrates.

 

“Tommy Dreamer, once the heart and soul of this company, has targeted every woman in ECW. Once upon a time, he would take a beating for Beulah, or any other woman who walked through that curtain. Now, he'd rather put them on a stretcher … which is exactly what he did to Lori Fullington months ago. Up until yesterday, nobody in ECW had gotten so much as a word out of Tommy about this … this crusade of his.” The video now cuts to Styles in front of the familiar ECW banner. He looks somber. “Yesterday, the ECW offices received a videotape by courier. We have not screened it, we have not previewed it. We only know it is from Tommy Dreamer, because it said so on the package, and because a note inside said it would answer all of our questions.”

 

The show fades into Tommy, his greasy hair hanging in his face, sitting against a wall like someone else used to: arms propped up on the knees, looking down. “They say behind every good man is a good woman. But the quote is obviously wrong. It should be; 'behind the downfall of every good man is a worthless bitch.' Isn't that all they are? Bitches and sluts. They jump from guy to guy, whoever will buy them diamonds and tell them they're pretty. And when this one gets old, they find a new one. That's what they do. That's what Beulah did. Went with me when we were kids … jumped to Raven … jumped to me … left me again. She's a money grubbing whore.” Dreamer looks up no, through his hair. “And all of this is her fault. If it wasn't for you, Beulah, Raven would never have hunted me down and made my life a living hell! And the same goes for every woman in this wretched place; Francine was all too happy to screw the Pitbulls two years ago! You know why Candido and Storm broke up? Their women! One by one, the women of these company act like human wrecking balls, turning the men of this company into confused, pathetic souls. Empty of spirit, empty of purpose, empty of mind. Their heads cloud over and their loins take over. It happened to me. And now, I have to put an end to it. All these women need to know their place; not by a wrestling ring!” Dreamer stands up and gets right in the lens of the camera. “And as for Terry Funk … my prodigal father … there is no room for you in ECW anymore. Go back to Connecticut and put the pantyhose on your head again. I don't need you any more than Mick Foley does. And only I can give these women what they need. And you'll do wise not to stand in my way … or I'll make your next retirement your last one. Quote the Dreamer, nevermore.”

 

November 23rd, 1998: WCW Monday Nitro

 

Lodi comes down to ringside ready to take care of business. He knows Raven is especially counting on him to win tonight. And a chance to win WCW gold on Nitro is for him just what the doctor ordered. Then his opponent’s music hits and the Van Andel Arena lights up as Billy Kidman enters the ringside area. Smiling a huge smile with well groomed hair, a clean tank top and jean shorts, Kidman’s appearance is a complete turn-around from the grungy, soulless peon who blindly followed Raven not one month ago.

 

The Cruiserweight Champion hands his belt over to Charles Robinson and the two lock up, Lodi, the stronger of the two, pushing Kidman away then bragging. They lock up again, but this time Kidman drops on his back and flips Lodi over. Angered, the challenger charges, but Kidman hits an arm drag, followed by a dropkick, then a hiptoss. Kidman nearly gets three right then and there with a BK Bomb (lifting sitout spinebuster) but Lodi manages to get a shoulder up at the last second. Kidman goes for a flying body press but Lodi catches him and hits a front powerslam. He kicks Kidman a couple of times then takes a few seconds to get his head together. He goes back on the offensive but Kidman has gotten his wind back. He starts right back on Lodi. Slamming him down, he attempts a moonsault, but his challenger is able to move out the way. Now Lodi manages to get some offense in, hitting a dazed Kidman with a Guillotine leg drop. He follows up with a triple rolling vertical suplexes combination. After executing the third one, he stands up and lifts his hands up spread wide, gloating to the booing Grand Rapids crowd. He then goes for a pin that he may have gotten had it not been for his showboating as Kidman kicks out at two. Not showing much concern, he throws Kidman into the ropes, but Kidman reverses it and hits a sidewalk slam. Both men get up slowly and attempt dropkicks at the same time. Getting up even slower, Lodi approaches Kidman and attempts a brainbuster, but Kidman, reverses it into a suplex. He then hits a slingshot legdrop, then follows up with a devastating wheelbarrow suplex. The Cruiserweight Champion then climbs to the top rope, hits a dead on shooting star press, and gets the three count to retain his title. Kidman pops right up and Charles Robinson raises his hand. He then hands the champ his belt, which Kidman proudly lifts in the air for all his fans to see.

 

Hardcore TV, Nov. 28

 

The final segment of Hardcore TV, as it comes back from commercial, is prefaced by a graphic stating that the following footage is very disturbing and very graphic and not intended for anybody under 18. Joey Styles reiterates this as he sets up the final segment.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, what you are about to see is by far one of the most profoundly disturbing things I have seen in all my years as a broadcaster,” he says somberly. “Longtime fans of ECW have fond remembrances of the night Kimona Wanaleya performed the extreme striptease. It was a night nobody who was there, and nobody who saw it on videotape, will ever forget. Last Saturday, ECW invited Kimona back to the promotion to do it one more time … and this is what happened. If you are easily offended, if you're of the kind whose stomach is prone to turning at graphic violence, I strongly urge you to change the channel now. What we are about to show you is a moment that, like Kimona's striptease, will never be forgotten … but unlike it, we wish we could.”

 

The video, shot by the Fan Cam, begins with Kimona in the ring, gyrating and teasing the crowd with a striptease so hot it's almost melting the ringposts. She doesn't see Tommy Dreamer come through the crowd and slide into the ring. And by the time she knows something is wrong, she's already on her way down to meet the mat face-first in a Dreamer DDT. But that isn't enough for Dreamer, as he pulls her up to her feet, turns her around and DDT's her again. When he picks her up again, he is holding her up with one arm around her waist. His words are yelled out, his mouth right next to her ear.

 

“If you're nothing but worthless T&A, then give these people what they want!” says Dreamer as he props her in a corner. He slides out, grabs a chair, and slides back in (as the crowd gets audible ancy). “But let's see how they'll like a pair of fake tits covered in blood!” Dreamer reaches out to undo the clasp in the front of Kimona's bra (but doesn't push away the garment to actually reveal anything), and has the chair up executioner-style, ready to bring down on Kimona's defenseless head …

 

… and that's when Terry Funk jumps the rail, climbs in, spins Dreamer around and tees off on him. Punch after punch after punch sends Dreamer reeling, falling through the ropes. Funk pursues him outside, and then into the crowd, where Dreamer, having gone over first, has a tactical advantage. He splatters a chair across Funk's back, putting the 54-year-old man down on one knee. A second chair shot hits Funk between the eyes and busts him wide open. From there, the brawl tours the venue in typical ECW fashion, using chairs, bleachers, the cement walls, and anything that isn't nailed down.

 

But then Dreamer takes it, quite literally, outside, into the cold November air. Funk gets crotched on a cement barrier post, which takes the wind out of him, as his lifeblood is already pouring out from wounds on his forehead. But Dreamer is hardly done, as he drags Funk to the parking lot. After bouncing Funk's skull off the car door and the hood a few times, Dreamer pulls Funk up onto the car itself. With a stunned crowd surrounding the car, Dreamer snaps off the DDT, plunging Funk face-first into the windshield. Hardcore TV ends on the body of Funk, not moving, as medics rush to the scene.

 

Hardcore TV, Dec. 5

 

“Last week here on Hardcore TV,” says a somber Joey Styles, “we showed footage of a graphic beating suffered by Terry Funk at the hands of Tommy Dreamer. Terry Funk may never wrestle again, after being driven face-first into the windshield of a car with a DDT. Well, for that matter, neither might Tommy Dreamer. The footage you're about to see was taken at a house show last weekend, when the boss of ECW himself, Paul Heyman, came out to the ring to address the situation. This is what went down!”

 

The footage starts with Heyman in the ring. “Terry Funk is lying in a hospital right now, thanks to Tommy Dreamer. Terry Funk is a man I respect,” says Heyman, visibly distraught. “He's a man I'm not ashamed to say I love … but the fact is, Terry Funk is not an ECW employee, and his interfering in matches with Tommy Dreamer is borderline criminal!” The crowd doesn't like this. “Hey, I don't like saying it, but I'm not out here to yank your chain! Terry Funk is sticking his nose in business that isn't his! He didn't clear coming back to ECW with me! He didn't sign a contract! Now that doesn't excuse Tommy's actions, because as far as I'm concerned, that son of a bitch has bit the hand that's fed him one too many times! Effective immediately, I'm suspending Tommy Dreamer indefinitely, and Terry Funk will be lucky if I don't sue him for endangeri-”

 

Heyman is interrupted by the music of Beulah McGillicuty, who walks to the ring with purpose, and gets in without playing to the crowd. “Paul, you're missing the obvious solution here,” she says. “The last thing everybody here, everybody in the back, me, the last thing we want is Tommy gone and ECW to make an enemy out of a living legend like Terry Funk! You made him an honorary lifetime ECW World Champion, Paul! You can't do this to him! And you can't do it to these fans?”

 

“Well, what do you suggest, Beulah? With all this business acumen a spread in Penthouse provides”--this draws an oooh! from the crowd –“you must have some sort of brilliant plan to keep us out of legal trouble!”

 

“Yeah. Let 'em fight. At Guilty As Charged.”

 

And that's when Dreamer comes out, but he doesn't come to the ring. He just stays at the entryway, microphone in hand, his eyes hidden by his greasy hair. “Neither of you get it. This company has never stood behind me and it isn't now. I was this company's backbone, and now that I won't be the martyr anymore, this company has no spine. It quivers in fright at an old man, and won't allow me to do what it is that needs to be done to save it, which is let me exterminate the virus of women. Suspend me, Paul. Suspend me. Fire me. It doesn't matter anymore.”

 

Hardcore TV, Dec. 12

 

Footage from the night following Dreamer daring Heyman to punish him is shown, with Lance Storm taking on Rob Van Dam. The match is a top-notch classic in the air and on the mat, but the story comes at the end, when Tommy Dreamer comes out of the crowd to try another attack on Tammy Lynn Bytch. But the attack is cut short by a raspy southern voice that bellows as it fills up the venue.

 

“Tommy!” the voice yells. The camera finds the source, up in the upper levels of the audience; his head covered in bandages, looking like a survivor (barely) of the D-Day Invasion, is Terry Funk. “I accept the match, Tommy! Guilty As Charged, I accept!” Dreamer is looking up at Funk, his face white, his eyes as big as dinner plates. “I'm gonna be your ass like your daddy shoulda done, you snot-nosed son of a bitch! I'm gonna beat your ass just like Raven did!”

 

Hardcore TV, Dec. 19

 

The show ends with a run of trademark “Miserilou” promos. When the static cuts for the last time, it's cuts to Tommy Dreamer, tight up on the hair-covered face of the fallen son of ECW.

 

“What is an epiphany? It is the sudden lifting of the fog that once obscured thought. It's the dagger of light piercing through mental darkness. I have felt this epiphany now. I have felt this dagger pierce through my darkness. I can rid ECW of a shadow that has fallen on it, and rid myself of a shadow, all in one fell swoop. I see now that Tammy Lynn Sytch, Francine, Kimona, these women were substitutes. Approximations. Copies. What I need to do is chop the head off the dragon. The dragon named Beulah. You want me, Terry? You really want me? Then you dance to my symphony of suffering. We'll do it in an arena you know oh, so very well … a Japanese Deathmatch.” Dreamer pauses dramatically. “But that isn't the only stipulation, Terry. Tearing the flesh from your bones is a means to an end. The end being Beulah. What I want is that, when I pin you to the mat, your body bleeding, your bones broken … I want Beulah, in the ring for five minutes. Then … then … the ghosts will be quiet. Then … this will be over. Quoth the Dreamer, nevermore.”

 

Hardcore TV. Dec 26

 

The holiday show is mostly a recap of running storylines, and highlights of the year, save for the traditional “Miserilou” promos. And like the previous week, the last in line touches on the Dreamer/Funk saga, and this time, it is Funk and Beulah, outside the ECW Arena on a cold winter's night, and they're arguing.

 

“I ain't letting you put yourself on the line like that, lady!” says Funk. Although he is trying to sound forceful and resolute, he sounds more like a man who has already lost the argument and is going through the motions.

 

“This isn't your choice to make, Terry. You want him in a match, and this is the way to get him,” says Beulah, sounding like a woman who knows she has the argument in the bag. “If you're confident you can win, I have nothing to lose. And if you do lose … if I have to take a bullet to slap some reality back into Tommy's head, so be it.”

 

“This ain't how my momma raised me, Beulah! I'm trying to put a stop to this bull[bleep], not to give Tommy what he wants!”

 

“Then I guess you better win!” Beulah turns to the camera. “Tommy … offer accepted! The whole thing. You win, and you got me in the ring for five minutes. I hope you remember what I did to Bill Alfonso … cause that's the Beulah you got to look forward to if you win!”

 

Hardcore TV, Jan. 2 and Jan. 9

 

The final two shows before Guilty As Charged drive home the mad tension running through the three participants in the Japanese Deathmatch; Tommy Dreamer's bloodlust, Terry Funk's sad resignation at having to face his erstwhile symbolic son in a hellish match, and Beulah, strong and resolute even as her potential last night in the promotion looms. On Jan. 2, all three cut more promos, underscoring their attitudes.

 

On Jan. 9, the three have an in-ring confrontation that stems from a Dreamer/Rob Van Dam match, due to Dreamer going nuts in the post-match with a Singapore cane, clubbering the Television Champion like a baby seal. Beulah is the one to run in and put a stop to the beating, daring Dreamer to take it out on her instead. Dreamer is about to when Funk comes out with a chair. With Dreamer distracted, Funk is able to get in a good solid crack across the back, which kicks off Funk giving Dreamer a receipt for the parking lot beatdown from weeks prior. Funk hits an executioner-style cane shot to the balls of Dreamer, which leads to the finishing touch: the flaming branding iron. But Dreamer manages to get out of the ring for that and doesn't look back. Funk is cursing up a blue storm at Dreamer as Dreamer runs like a scalded dog, showing a new fire in his eyes on the eve of the nastiest grudge match in ECW history.

 

Guilty As Charged, Jan 10, 1999

 

Funk doesn't wait for announcements; he runs right after Dreamer in the aisle as Dreamer is being introduced, and the wild, bloody brawl to end all brawls kicks off in spectacular fashion. They tease early spots with all of the nightmarish implements of pain that have been set up around the ring: a barbed wire board, a bed of thumbtacks, a bed of broken glass, and the spiderweb barbed wire that has been wrapped around the ring ropes on two sides. None of it pays off, but it gets the crowd pumped up, and they keep it up when Dreamer and Funk start taking weapons from the fans at ringside; a steel chair, a crutch, a Playstation and a beer bottle all get used to bludgeon and bloody each other in the first five minutes. It's the use of the beer bottle over Funk's head that leads to the first of the deathmatch toys coming into play: the thumbtacks. Funk gets back suplexed into them, resulting in his “FUNK-U” t-shirt tearing in multiple places and staining red. Dreamer, like a shark, ups the ante, trying to work in every sick spot he can think of and every disgusting, inhuman foreign object he can find. A cast iron frying pan gets a two-and-a-half, but Funk kicks out with a fraction of a fraction of a second to spare.

 

Funk spends the next several minutes being torn apart, until, on an Irish whip attempt, he just collapses. Dreamer goes to pick him up, and Funk, the cagey veteran, drop-toe-holds Dreamer into the spiderweb barbed wire on the ropes. Thus begins Funk's comeback; a piledriver on a chair gets two. A back body drop onto the thumbtacks gets two. Chair shots to the head get two. Dreamer, to his credit, won't go down, but after a few minutes, he is, like Funk, bleeding from head to waist. And on the sidelines is Beulah, watching all of it anxiously. The crowd counts with, and gets to three, on a moonsault that puts Dreamer through a table covered in thumbtacks … but it's really 2.999999999999999999999. Both men move slowly, having endured amounts of pain never seen outside of war, and blood loss that would drop an elephant. As a result, the last five minutes of the match go back and forth, and that begins when Dreamer gets whipped into the spiderweb barbed wire, and Funk chases after with a cross-body that sends both of them over and out, through a pair of tables.

 

Dreamer is the first up, and he gets the strike of the home stretch – using the broken beer bottle to gouge Funk's head open wider – but Funk responds with an old-fashioned kick to the balls. They're reduced to throwing wild punches, until Dreamer kicks Funk in the crotch and hits the Dreamer DDT on the floor. Funk is out cold, but Dreamer isn't done; he grabs the barbed wire board and shoves it in the ring. He then pulls out a bag from under the ring and, after pushing Funk under the bottom rope, climbs in and opens the bag. It's lighter fluid and a lighter. He lights the board aflame, positions Funk atop the turnbuckle, and hits a superplex into the burning barbed wire board. Dreamer gets the cover and three seconds later, the violent, disturbing match is over.

 

The crowd is deflated by Dreamer's victory. But Beulah takes a deep breath, climbs the steps and gets in the ring. When Dreamer finally pulls himself to his feet, bleeding, exhausted, looking like he's been through a meat grinder, his ex-girlfriend is there to meet him, microphone in hand.

 

“That was a hell of a fight, Tommy,” says Beulah. “I didn't think you could do it.” She takes a step closer. “Because Raven was twice the man you are, and he couldn't beat Terry!” The crowd gasps, and Dreamer's eyes go wide, the only non-crimson color from his waist up. “Yeah, I said it! The hair, the jacket, the DDT … you've become the man you hated, Tommy. But the one thing you forgot that he has is balls. He took the wheel and made it what he wanted it to be! He may have hated his life, he may have hated the world around him, but he fought. He made Sandman's life a living hell. He drove you out of your mind. He didn't sit in the corner and whine like a little girl, and he didn't pout in bars! He took his anger out on everyone around him! You couldn't beat him, and you can't even imitate him right! You're a failure at everything you do, Tommy! You're pathetic! So go ahead … beat me up. Spill my blood. Put me in a hospital. But you'll never be half the man he is, because you can't even be yourself successfully! So do whatever it is you wanna do to me!” She gets as close as she can to Dreamer, looking him dead in the eyes with a glare that could stop a clock. “You might break my body, but you'll never break my soul!”

 

Dreamer considers Beulah a moment before kicking her in the gut and snapping off a vicious DDT onto a chair. But as weakened as he is, it's all he can do, so he rolls out and stumbles up the aisleway to the entrance. He stands in front of the curtain, covered in blood like the ending of Carrie, arms out, and screams in rage and defiance …

 

… but in the ring, Beulah pulls herself up to her feet with the help of the ropes. In one hand is the microphone. She has a small cut at her hairline, and there's a rivulet of blood coming down her face, and she is obviously in pain. But she is standing. And she looks at her former lover with eyes that burn with pride and strength, and she says one phrase, one very familiar phrase that visibly rocks Dreamer:

 

“Thank you, sir, may I have another?”

 

January 18th, 1999: WCW Monday Nitro

 

 Raven accompanies Hobo Tommy and Riggs to the ring amidst a plethora of jeers. Once in the ring he plops down in a corner in typical fashion with that angry, unpleasant look on his face fans have seen so many times. Then Saturn and Kidman are introduced and does the crowd ever show their appreciation!

 

Saturn starts off with Riggs and the two lock up. Riggs is able to gain the early advantage when Hobo Tommy makes for a slap at Saturn and distracts him, allowing Riggs to connect with a cheap shot punch. Shortly thereafter, he brings Saturn to the corner, where he and Tommy execute the double team while Nick Patrick issues a five count. An overzealous Billy Kidman tries to intervene, only to have Patrick force him back to his corner. This allows an even more aggressive double team and also allows Raven to jump on the apron and give Saturn a hard slap across the face. This however, does not help The Flock as it sends Saturn over the edge and gives him the motivation to fight out of the corner. Tommy is tagged in and he is quickly met with a hard bodyslam. Saturn tags in Billy Kidman and Saturn holds Tommy’s arm as Kidman jumps off the top rope and delivers a crushing double fist to it. Kidman then grabs and twists Tommy’s arm. Tommy is about to punch Kidman when a good swift kick to the gut shelves that escape plan. The talented, young Allentown native shows he is a rising superstar, giving Hobo Tommy a wrestling lesson. He and Perry Saturn work great as a team, isolating, Tommy from Riggs. But a savvy professional as well, Hobo Tommy is able to turn a Kidman hurricanrana attempt into a powerbomb. He tags in Riggs and the two take it to Kidman. At one point he gets thrown out the ring. Riggs providing the necessary distraction, Raven hits the Even Flow DDT on the floor. He throws Kidman back in and spreads his hands sideways to the crowd while leaning against the ring. Riggs covers him, but a Saturn save keeps the match going. He gets a stern warning from Nick Patrick which he shows no care for. The Flock keeps up their assault on Kidman who somehow musters the energy to stay in the fight. Riggs slams him to the ground and drops a fist only for Kidman to move out the way at the last split second. His hand smarting, Riggs gets frustrated and attempts to finish Kidman with a leg drop bulldog, but Kidman catches Riggs leg and comes down on it with a hard elbow. Riggs hurt, he moves to his corner to tag in Hobo Tommy. He does… but Kidman is able to tag in Perry Saturn! The former Army ranger comes in with a vengeance, taking it to Hobo Tommy. Riggs attempts to jump in, but Saturn grabs them both and rams their heads together. After a second Kidman comes back in, but rather than joining in the fray immediately, he surprises Raven and hits a springboard dive on him, getting revenge for the earlier DDT. He then does get involved and Nick Patrick struggles to get both him and Riggs back in their respective corners. Tommy rakes Saturn’s eyes, and with Nick Patrick still distracted, Riggs moves into the middle of the ring apron to assist in a double team. A just risen and thoroughly pissed Raven yells out to Riggs “Get that S.O.B.!” which distracts Riggs. Not noticing that Saturn has reversed the Irish Whip, Riggs mistakenly gives Hobo Tommy a hard knee right to the back. Saturn take the opportunity and nails the Death Valley Driver and with Kidman keeping Riggs at bay, he gets the three count. The two heroes embrace each other as their hands are raised and then make a hasty exit while Nitro cuts to a commercial break.

 

After the break, the three heels are still in the ring, Raven furious with Riggs. “What’s wrong with you? Can’t you tell Tommy from that toad, Saturn?” Riggs responds “Raven, I’m sorry it was a mistake. You distracted me.” This causes Raven to lose it. He sticks his finger in Riggs face and yells “Don’t you ever blame your incompetence on me, you never will be loser!” Having had enough, Riggs slaps Raven’s finger out of his face, causing his jaw to drop. Hobo Tommy gives Riggs a hard running knee to the back and Raven catches him and nails the Even Flow DDT on him. The two of them proceed to stomp and taunt Riggs. Tommy gets his bindle and hits Riggs with it twice very hard. He sets up for a third hit, but is distracted as Saturn and Kidman storm the ring to help out Riggs. Raven, Tommy, Saturn and Kidman all go at it with the faces winning the fight. But the tide turns when Lodi, Horace and Hammer all come down and help out their master. After roughing Saturn and Kidman up, Raven has Hammer and Horace hold down Saturn and Kidman respectively. Hobo Tommy grabs his bindle and is about to strike Saturn, when Raven intervenes. “No, let him!” Raven says pointing to a just risen Riggs. “Prove you’re one of mine, Riggs!” Raven tells him. Riggs yanks the stick from Tommy, gives a clearly disgusted Saturn a sadistic look, swings the bindle and nails Hammer right above the left eye! He then hits Horace with it. He is rushed by Raven, Tommy and Lodi, but Saturn and Kidman, now free, help him out. After a hard fight, the three clear The Flock out. Riggs looks at Saturn and Kidman and offers his hand to them saying ‘Thank you.” They accept and the Columbus crowd at the Value City Arena roars its approval as Riggs lifts a hand up of both his new allies signifying their new alliance.

 

February 21st, 1999: WCW SuperBrawl IX

 

Moments before their no holds barred, Texas tornado rules six man match, “Mean” Gene Okerlund interviews Perry Saturn, Billy Kidman and Scotty Riggs backstage.

 

 “Gentlemen, in just a moment the three of you will be meeting the deadly Raven and his Flock. After all that has transpired between them and you three, surely this must be a watershed moment.” “Watershed is right, Gene.” Saturn begins. “All three of us, Riggs, Kidman and myself were all once under Raven’s spell. But after his nonstop bullying, his incessant badgering, his constant using of us… and quite frankly his never ending, dank, melancholy personality, we just had enough. I woke up first, then Billy and now Scotty. ” “That’s right, Perry.” Billy Kidman says. “I was in a bad place and Raven used that to suck me in. He promised me the world … and well… he practically destroyed my world. But now…” Kidman holds up and taps the Cruiserweight belt, “I’m the World Cruiserweight Champion!” “Perry, Billy, I can’t thank you enough for liberating me from that vampire.” Scotty Riggs says. “No need.” Saturn says. “We know what he is.” “But guys,” Riggs continues, “I’m going to show my gratitude by helping you two kick Raven’s tail!” “And those other guys in The Flock… well I think they’re all good guys at heart… except for that scumbag Hobo Tommy. He’s worthless. But hopefully the three of us will be able to knock some sense into them.” Saturn says to close the interview.

 

Raven, Hobo Tommy and Horace all come down to the ring looking intense, Tommy and Horace carrying their respective bindle and stop sign. While his two charges stay up and alert, Raven slides to the corner and just looks mean and miserable. Then David Penzer introduces their opponents and the Oakland Arena rises and cheers. Looking every bit as intense as their heel opponents, Raven’s three former minions walk halfway to the ring, then all of a sudden charge it as Mickey Jay calls for the bell.

 

Perry Saturn attacks Hobo Tommy, Billy Kidman targets Horace while Scotty Riggs b-lines straight for his former master, who promptly stands up and starts fighting. Predictably, this one hardly resembles a wrestling match and is more like a street fight that just happens to be in (or in some cases right outside) a wrestling ring. After fighting for several minutes, Horace picks up his stop sign and attempts to nail Billy Kidman with it. But Kidman grabs Horace’s arms as he comes down, kicks him in the right knee cap, takes Horace’s stop sign from him and knocks him several times upside the head with it. He then stops a Hobo Tommy suplex on Saturn with an assist with the stop sign. Along with Riggs they then triple team the man who once held all three so firmly in his grasp with his dark charisma and lurid mine control. However, this does not last as Tommy and Horace recover and Tommy knocks Kidman with his bindle, nearly busting the Cruiserweight Champion wide open. Dizzy after the shot, Kidman stumbles outside the ring. Perry Saturn slugs Tommy in the face and goes after him while Horace attempts to hit him from behind, only to be stopped by Riggs. But having rested enough, Raven hits his recently turned protégé with a low blow, stymieing his efforts. Raven directs Horace to go after Kidman and he promptly obeys, delivering an elbow smash off the ring canvas then smashing him upside the head with a chair. Raven and Tommy deliver a smashing powerbomb/neckbreaker combination on Riggs. Raven makes the cover and would have gotten three except for Perry Saturn’s last second save. But The Flock is now in firm control. Hobo Tommy nails Saturn with a hard dropkick and Raven picks him up and hits an Even Flow DDT, then pops up and spreads his arms as he leans his head back. Tommy and Raven then start to set Saturn up for a powerbomb/neckbreaker combination as Horace continues to work on Kidman. Horace attempts to throw Kidman into the guardrail, but Kidman reverses it and quickly follows up with a hard clothesline, taking Horace over the rail. Turning around and seeing his team in trouble. He quickly ascends to the top rope and moonsaults into Raven, Hobo Tommy and Saturn. All four down and slow to get up, it becomes a race to ones feet. Hobo Tommy gets to his feet first, picks up his bindle and is about to smash Kidman with it, but a just risen Scotty Riggs grabs it from him and hits him in the head with it. Perry Saturn picks up Horace’s stop sign then puts it in front of Tommy’s face and Billy Kidman kicks it, causing Tommy to drop instantly and the crowd to start to chant “ECW” very loudly. Riggs makes a cover but Raven makes the save. Saturn then connects with a superkick, knocking Raven outside the ring. Seeing Horace standing on the apron with his hands on the ropes, Billy Kidman runs over grabs the ropes and by pulling on them sends Horace over the ropes into the ring on his back. He then picks Horace up as Saturn picks up Tommy and they ram them together from opposite ring corners. Meanwhile, Raven has just risen outside, only to be met with a leg drop bulldog off the ring from Riggs. Saturn slams Tommy on top of Horace and Billy Kidman climbs to the top and nails both of them with the shooting star press. He makes the cover as Saturn watches on and gets three. The crowd roars as Riggs reenters the ring, all three’s hands being raised by Mickey Jay.

 

March 4th, 1999: WCW Thunder

 

In what is billed a warm-up match to Uncensored, Billy Kidman is meeting Raven tonight. In ten days it will be an anything goes Texas tornado tag team match with Raven and Hobo Tommy in one corner and Billy Kidman and Perry Saturn in the other, with the ring ropes wrapped in barbed wire. Normally a bust, fans are expecting this Uncensored match to deliver. Kidman is itching to get to Raven tonight, especially since Raven’s interference cost him his Cruiserweight Title to Kaz Hayashi.

 

This is an even well fought match that is surprisingly fairly clean. Of course, tempers do flare as when Raven slaps Kidman and Kidman promptly returns the favor. After dodging a clothesline and connecting with a flying body press, Kidman gets a near fall. He follows up with a series of punches then executes a flawless hurricanrana. He then hits a BK Bomb, coming within an eyelash of three. Kidman then slams Raven down, hits the Kid Krusher (jumping inverted double underhook facebuster) and climbs the ropes to end this one with the shooting star press. But just as he is about to leap down, Hobo Tommy crawls from under the ring and smashes him in the back with his bindle, causing Kidman to fall onto the ring floor. Tommy quickly dives in the ring and cracks his bindle on Kidman’s head as he gets up. Now barely standing, Tommy pulls a fifth of whiskey out of his jacket, and cracks it upside Kidman’s head. The North Carolina crowd is in shock as blood, booze and glass are now spread throughout the ring. Nick Patrick yells profusely, but as this match is “Raven’s rules” (no disqualification) he is powerless. Tommy then puts a still motionless Raven on top of Billy Kidman, and Nick Patrick begrudgingly counts to three. Raven eventually gets up, stands triumphantly over Kidman and spreads his arms as he lifts his head up to the Lawrence Joel Memorial Coliseum ceiling. He then disgustingly spits on Kidman and he and Hobo Tommy leave the ring.

 

March 8th, 1999: WCW Monday Nitro

 

It is announced at the top of the program that due to injuries suffered on Thunder, Billy Kidman will be out for a still undetermined amount of time and will not be wrestling at Uncensored. Rather, Scotty Riggs will be taking his place.

 

Just after a successful Television Title defense by Scott Steiner against Booker T at the end of the first hour, the camera goes to Scotty Riggs heading to the Centrum. But before he gets to the door, he is slugged from behind by Lodi. Riggs immediately starts fighting back and is able to drop Lodi and bloody his nose. But he is soon ganged up on by the entire Flock. They pound him unmercifully and then Hammer bodyslams him to the ground. Raven picks him up and hits the Even Flow DDT. Finally they lift a now completely unconscious Scotty Riggs and hold him up as Hobo Tommy cracks a bottle of whiskey over his head. They then throw his beaten, bruised, bleeding body into a dumpster as Nitro goes to a commercial break.

 

When Nitro comes back from its commercial break, a distraught Saturn is seen in the dumpster checking on Riggs with EMTs. Shortly after, they carefully lift Riggs out on a stretcher and he is put in an ambulance to be brought to the hospital.

 

March 11th, 1999: WCW Thunder

 

It is announced that Scotty Riggs was severely injured and will be out of action for an indefinite period of time. Who will be Perry Saturn’s partner or even if he will have a partner this Sunday at Uncensored is unknown at this time.

 

March 14th, 1999: WCW Uncensored

 

The day of their epic confrontation and there is still no word on Saturn’s partner. Before their match, Raven and Hobo Tommy are interviewed by “Mean” Gene Okerlund.

 

“Raven, in all my years I have never seen such a dastardly display as I saw on Thunder and Nitro over the last ten days.  What do you have to say for yourself?” “Gene, it’s simple. There is only one penalty for treason.” Raven says as he moves his pointer finger horizontally across his neck. “Kidman and Riggs have already found that out. My Flock and I took out the Benedict Arnold on Thunder, we got the Vidkun Quisling on Nitro and tonight at Uncensored, the Ephialtes is going to get his. Perry old friend, there is no one left to help you. You are all alone. And tonight is the last night you will ever walk into a wrestling ring. In fact tonight may be the last night you ever walk. Quote the Raven, nevermore.”

 

Raven’s music plays and he and Hobo Tommy come down to mass boos. Sliding under the barbed wire wrapped ropes, Raven sits in the corner with a scowl on his face as Hobo Tommy loyally stands watch. Then Perry Saturn is introduced. Getting a massive ovation he shows a stoic determination and has no fear in his eyes. The former Army ranger pauses a moment before entering the ring, knowing full well this could in fact be the last time he will ever be able to wrestle. After a moment he slides in.

 

Hobo Tommy comes after him and attempts to hit him with his bindle, but Saturn dodges the blow and kicks him hard in the gut. For the time being Raven is content with letting his minion do his dirty work and he just watches from the corner. Saturn starts off very strong, fighting like his life is at stake. He hits a variety of martial arts and wrestling moves, downing Tommy with a backhand chop/superkick combination, then connecting with a pumphandle suplex. He takes Tommy and slides his head across the top rope, which cuts his him wide open. But the pain gives Tommy a shot of adrenaline and he hits a roundhouse kick to Saturn’s gut. He quickly follows up with a Russian legsweep. Then as Saturn gets up he downs him again with a scissors kick. Breaking his usual silence, Tommy starts jumping up with his hands up in the air. Feeling final victory in his grasp, Raven lets this slide. Hobo Tommy then picks Saturn up and executes a Hobo Drop. He then grins and picks Saturn up again, holding him in position for the Soup Kitchen Liner so the fans can feel his suffering a little longer. He then goes to execute it, but Saturn blocks it and nails Tommy with a low blow and quickly counters with a Death Valley Driver. He makes a quick cover which gets a two count before Raven charges and breaks the pin. Now fully in the match, Raven violently attacks Saturn, but undeterred, his former charge valiantly fights back. After a headbutt he picks up and is about to bodyslam Raven, but Hobo Tommy smacks him in the back with his bindle, causing him to drop Raven who quickly counters with an Even Flow DDT. Now a two on one, the two heels beat Saturn, but wanting to pick at him for a while, opt not to completely decimate him at once. Sensing what is going on, Saturn bravely fights back, but he knows his chances of victory- or for that matter survival- are slim. Finally after several minutes of toying with him, on Raven’s instructions, Tommy hits Saturn with the Soup Kitchen Liner, then goes out the ring as Raven picks and holds a lifeless Saturn up. Tommy lifts up the ring flap and pulls out a full fifth of whiskey and is about to do to Saturn what he did to both Kidman and Riggs when all of a sudden, “Cave Rat” starts playing over the loudspeaker. All of a sudden, a very familiar figure emerges from the back- a big gutted, blonde man, wearing a black t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and tattered blue jeans, with a beer can in his left hand and a kendo stick with no handkerchief whatsoever tied to it in his right. Both Raven’s and Hobo Tommy’s jaws hit the floor as he pours the beer down his throat, lifts the kendo stick up high and gives Raven a wickedly sadistic grin, bringing the Freedom Hall crowd to a deafening roar. No name is given to this new entrant, but the Louisville crowd knows and chants it, along with the very familiar letters of “ECW”. The new entrant empties the last of the beer into his mouth, lifts his head up, spits it into the air like an erupting geyser, slams the now empty beer can against his head- causing a slight trickle of blood to appear on his forehead- and then makes his way to the ring. Raven in a panic tells Tommy “What are you waiting for? Hit him!” Hobo Tommy pulls his arm back, but now Saturn having had time to rest, kicks him in the gut, causing him to drop the bottle, and hiptosses himself free of Raven. The new entrant slides under the ropes and goes after Raven, but ever the wiley deviant, Raven rakes his eyes. Tommy hits Saturn with a low blow and recovering from the shock, the villainous duo try to finish the job they have started. Raven runs the new entrant’s forehead across the top ropes, causing the opening on his head to gush blood. He punches away at him then tosses him over the top rope. He follows him outside and grabs a chair and smashes it over his head, then hits the Flat Liner DDT on the outside, causing the “ECW” chants to grow even louder. Hobo Tommy throws Saturn into a turnbuckle and starts punching away at him. He then takes his bindle and smashes him upside the head with it yet again. Raven throws the new entrant back in and spreads his arms while lifting his head up. Sensing victory, they set the new entrant up for their powerbomb/neckbreaker combination. They lift him up, but before they can drop him, he pulls up and starts biting Tommy’s head! Perry Saturn nails Raven with a superkick and Tommy drops the new entrant and the two start brawling on the ground. Saturn nearly takes Raven’s head off with a German Suplex. He then pulls Hobo Tommy off the new entrant, allowing him to get several well deserved cheap shots and a low blow in. The new entrant picks up his kendo stick as Saturn picks up Hobo Tommy’s bindle and rips the handkerchief off. The new entrant repeatedly whacks Raven as Saturn does the same to Hobo Tommy, hitting them in the head, shoulders and all over the body. The two then grin at each other and swap victims. Raven falls, but Hobo Tommy stays on his feet, stumbling incoherently. The new entrant then picks up the fifth of whiskey, opens the bottle, pours a large portion down his throat then smashes the bottle over Hobo Tommy’s head. By now all but the deaf and the dead can clearly hear the new entrant’s name being chanted by the crowd. Tommy is prevented from falling by Saturn who waits for the new entrant to pick up Raven. The new entrant and Saturn then simultaneously deliver a White Russian Legsweep (Russian Legsweep with a kendo stick across the opponent’s throat) and a Death Valley Driver to Raven and Hobo Tommy respectively. They then make a double cover and Billy Silverman easily counts three as the crowd roars its approval.

 

Saturn and the new entrant stare at each other for several seconds… then embrace. A ring attendant comes down and throws a couple beers to each of them. They pop them open, toast and happily pour them down as the “ECW” chants resonate throughout the building.