WrestleCrap Power Crappings Week XXX

21 Submitted by on Tue, 13 August 2013, 13:35

Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!

1. John Cena rips independent wrestling (NR)

I think the issue many have with this is simple: since Cena’s word is gold, and his fans believe him, it seems like silly and subtle brainwashing.

cena
2. WWE Total Divas (5)

I think I speak for anyone who appreciates hard work when I say that Sara Del Ray should never play second fiddle to some life-void red head.

divas
3. Tito Ortiz revealed as August 1 mystery man (1)

Fans don’t like TNA becoming the Bellator hype machine. I just wish they still had UFC ties in had brought in Chael Sonnen or something.

ortiz
4. Miz as a babyface (8)

The readership made sure Miz made it 30 for 30. Now he can have an ESPN documentary on how he ruins everyone’s TV viewing experience.

miz
5. McMahon Power Trip (6)

It’s fully latched onto the WWE Championship match, with Triple H reffing the main event of Summerslam. Hey, maybe Nash is coming back too!

mcmahons
6. Ryback walks out, a la Fandango (NR)

Probably just a one time thing, as they didn’t want to book a loser between he and Mark Henry. So the question: why even book the match to start?

ryback
7. Miz on Commentary (NR)

Further auditory assault for fans, in the form of this spast-hole’s pontificating. JBL appears to be suppressing the mother of all right hooks here.

mizcom
8. TNA runs “Shark Boy Week”, even though he’s no longer with company (NR)

If they would just put this time and effort into someone they didn’t ignore and discard, they may have a smidgen more respect from fans.

shark
9. Bo Dallas as NXT Champion (9)

WWE officials and creative seem to be in hyperdrive trying to make the push work, including having him beat Leo Kruger via submission. Isn’t taking.

dallas
10. Kurt Angle arrested for fourth DUI in six years (2)

Because of Angle’s rehab check-in, TNA had to cancel the big five on five, loser leaves match for Hardcore Justice. Personal choices do screw others.

anglemug
11. The Bella Twins (12)

If you watch Total Divas, you know how vapid these two are. And if you do watch Total Divas, we can’t be friends. Seriously, what is wrong with you?

bellas
12. Vickie Guerrero is now GM of Smackdown (7)

Here’s a thought: how about a wrestling show with no pushy matchmakers? It worked prior to 1997, and it seems it could work again. Just a hunch.

vickie
13. The Miz announces he will “host” Summerslam (13)

Sadly, this is probably the only way Miz can be involved with Summerslam these days beyond the third match. At least he seems proud of his assignment.

mizss
14. Vince McMahon wants Daniel Bryan to shave (NR)

Riveting! Because Vince has never had a champion with considerable facial hair before. Except for the dozen-plus guys that have done so in the past.

vincebry
15. MizTV with the Total Divas cast, complete with push of untrained Eva Marie (15)

Yep, not only did this still receive votes, but Miz makes an unprecedented fourth appearance in the Crappings. What a way to conclude Week Thirty!

divasmiz

Written by

Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)
21 Responses to "WrestleCrap Power Crappings Week XXX"
  1. Ryuu says:

    Eeeeeh, Shark Boy has been back with the company since March?

  2. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Bo Dallas still looks creepy and void of charisma – crying shame that Ohno gets benched and this tool gets a push – speaking of pushes and Bo Dallas, the only one he should receive is over a cliff

    I predict the Total Divas cast singing the anthem at Summerslam and fall out from Bryan vs The Chav will top next week – a reworking of Montreal, Bryan tap or the antics of the McMahon’s will be the main theme…

  3. Bender says:

    Anyone else think Bryan essentially calling Cena a camera hogging, attention grabbing, media WH*** might not have set well with his current significant other…assuming someone explained it to her?

    • Walter Kovacs says:

      I think that “we are both getting a main event pay day at SummerSlam” is as far as either of them needed to explain before the Bellas stopped listening.

  4. Meh says:

    Bo Dallas as NXT Champion should be higher because he’s a parody of John Cena when we already have to suffer watching the real Cena. It’s overkill.

    People watched NXT to get away from this kind of dumb booking yet Bo Dallas made it so that there’s no escape.

  5. MJA says:

    Dolph Ziggler sent out a tweet during Raw last night calling Miz ‘The Dane Cook of the wrestling world’. I thought those good folks at Wrestlecrap might like to know this.

    • Frozen Banana Expert says:

      That’s why Dolph Ziggler is awesome.

      Also workrate, selling, timing, and the ability to bump like a 20-year-old Japanese indy wrestler.

  6. TK says:

    Congrats Miz, you now share the distinction of being a 4 time loser now, like the Buffalo Bills…except with less chance of the Miz making any WWE HOF. Maybe Wrestlecrap needs to open up a Hall of Shame wing for exceptionally bad candidates who show up on multiple Power Crappings and Inductions.

    • Thomas Moffatt says:

      There are a number of candidates already – not only Miz but Bo Dallas, the Bellas and our old friend Nipple H should be nicely placed…

  7. Joe T says:

    1. John Cena rips independent wrestling (NR) – I think the issue many have with this is simple: since Cena’s word is gold, and his fans believe him, it seems like silly and subtle brainwashing.

    Well it’s just a promo but
    1. Cena (or whoever wrote his lines) seems to forget that he said back in July of 2011 he’d go work on tv for someone else if he was fired by Vince.
    2. That back in July 08 he worked a Six Flags Show for OVW when they were an independent since WWE had dropped them in February that same year.
    I guess maybe I can add hypocrite next to stale when describing John now. Then again he’s just trying to sell the show so I’ll cut him some slack and it’s better than hearing him whine about part-timers.

    5. McMahon Power Trip (6) – It’s fully latched onto the WWE Championship match, with Triple H reffing the main event of Summerslam. Hey, maybe Nash is coming back too!

    Please don’t give them ideas. I have a: Watch 6 Appearances or Vids of Nash a Year self-contract and only have 2 spots left for this year (I save them for Botchamania if possible), I’d hate to have to skip SummerSlam because of him. Plus this storyline stinks so bad now why bring a large turd in to top it off. On the plus side I did enjoy Trips shutting Maddox up, the first time I enjoyed an appearance of his since…hmmm nvm (can’t remember).

  8. Rocko says:

    Cena ripping indies was just part of the storyline. They are using extreme stereotypes in the storyline (like Vince not liking Bryan because he isn’t huge) and nothing else.

  9. Anonymous says:

    We get it. Every face sucks except Daniel Bryan, who’s a perfect angel that can’t have anything negative happen to him.

    These lists are so dull, predictable, and repetitive.

    • Justin Henry says:

      Quite the glutton for punishment you are, as you clicked on it.

      • Thomas Moffatt says:

        He’s right about predictable – I predict next week still absolutely no one anywhere will have said one good word about the Bellas…

        Then again Tony Dawson didn’t feature but the Miz on commentary adds further fuel to my conspiracy theory that WWE are trying to make Michael Cole more popular as a commentator by featuring monumentally shite commentators like Dawson, Miz and Maddox… next week the Bellas will fill in for JBL on Smackdown!…

        • Noel Frey says:

          I’ll say one thing, you’re right about them putting crap commentators next to Cole. But if this means more A-Ry on NXT and Smackdown commentary, then I’m all for it. He calls matches a lot like JBL and Regal do, explaining why moves hurt and putting over all of the wrestlers, whether heel or face.

          I personally hate it when announcers dis wrestlers because of heel/face bullcrap. They should be putting over ALL of the talent, not just the good guys (or whoever’s alignment matches theirs that week).

  10. Amp says:

    So after 30 weeks, we’ve established that:

    The Miz sucks as a babyface.
    The Miz sucks as host of a talk show segment.
    The Miz sucks as a commentator.
    The Miz (in all likelihood) sucks as host of Summerslam.

    I thought they figured all that out when they first brought him in 8 years ago!!!

    P.S. I second the motion to push Bo Dallas off of the highest available cliff – he’s so bland that a Rocky Maivia run-in would get a bigger pop than Daniel Bryan.

  11. Adam from Iowa says:

    It’s seems that ‘The Prototype’ has forgotten his roots.

  12. BigPoppaNasty says:

    I wish to start a grassroots movement similar to the one that landed the Bellas on the Power Crappings to nominate TNA in general for the next Power Crappings.

  13. Ewa Beach Boy says:

    I wonder if Cena’s dad is happy about him crapping on the Indies since well ya know his dad runs one.

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