Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!
1. MizTV with the Total Divas cast, complete with push of untrained Eva Marie (NR)
We’ve combined strychnine with this horse manure, and are serving up the two entities as one complete meal. WHY IS NOBODY EATING IT?
2. Kassius Ohno benched for purportedly not having a presentable physique (NR)
You can feel Hunter over his shoulder, going “Where’s your muscles? YOU CAN’T BEAT ME WITHOUT MUSCLES.” Explains why he never jobbed to Punk.
3. TNA releases Jesse Sorensen (NR)
Although most outraged folks couldn’t tell you what Jesse’s TNA gimmick was, they do have a point. Not good PR for Dixie at this critical moment.
4. Dixie Carter gets leveled by snarky fans in #AskDixie Twitter Q&A (NR)
She’d have to be pretty naive to expect anything less than humorous venom during her PR session. But it did provide some genuine laughs.
5. WWE Total Divas (NR)
1.3 million folks watched Daniel Bryan’s dog take a piss, and Cameron’s boyfriend be a douche. WrestleCrap is no longer the worst in wrestling.
6. Miz as a babyface (11)
28 for 28! Being part of that particular MizTV, and his Summerslam hosting announcement, only combine to further justify fan dislike of him.
7. Miz announces he will ‘host’ Summerslam (2)
I don’t think I could have selected a more punchable photo of the man. I won’t be held liable if you uppercut your monitors at the sight of his mug.
8. Bully Ray’s lawyer (actually OVW announcer) demands TNA World Title back (NR)
Bully’s got a LOYA. He found em on TWITTAH. And it’s four time Kevin Nash Lookalike Contest winner Dean Hill! And that was the only fun part of this angle.
9. Nikki Bella/John Cena proposal ‘selling point’ for Total Divas (6)
This segment totally ruined Cena’s image. Didn’t he say he’s proud to wear jorts and fruity shirts all the time? WELL WHERE ARE THEY?
10. The Bella Twins (12)
WWE’s resident “professional celebrities” will probably soar next week, given the stupidity of Nikki using a duck call to distract Natalya.
11. WWE tried to re-sign Stacy Keibler after breakup with George Clooney (NR)
Because they’ll do anything to get on tabloid TV, where vidiots who obsess over celebs can be swayed to watch WWE. You’re welcome for the picture.
12. Brad Maddox (8)
Still one of the more unwatchable aspects of Raw, Maddox was excised from the Vince/Bryan segment without anyone noticing. Hint, hint, WWE.
13. Vickie Guerrero is now Smackdown GM (3)
If you think about it, Vickie’s been an on-air authority or manager for the past six years. That’s a lot of kneejerk channel changing for people with sensitive ears.
14. Bo Dallas as NXT Champion (NR)
Some feel they’re building to a heel turn for Bray’s kid brother. Seems logical to do, given that cheers are hard to come by for the heavily pushed youngster.
15. Sheamus as a babyface (5)
The Celtic Warrior nearly dropped off this week, and I wouldn’t mind seeing it. Hard working talent with a good look, but his booking does him no favors.
Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)