WrestleCrap Power Crappings Week XXVII

36 Submitted by on Tue, 23 July 2013, 14:13

Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!

1. Bruce Prichard responsible for TNA licensing snafu in Missouri (NR)

Because of Prichard’s foul-up, a number of talents weren’t cleared to work a Saturday house show, giving the company yet another serious black eye.

2. Miz named as ‘host’ of Summerslam (NR)

PPVs don’t need ‘hosts’, least of all WrestleCrap’s whipping boy. The notion of him talking leads to me deciding to save my money next month.

3. Vickie Guerrero named GM of Smackdown (NR)

Oooh, another power struggle storyline! You kids that go out on Fridays, you’re missing a rehash of something that used to be a fun idea!

4. DOC leaves TNA after contract talks don’t take place (NR)

Impressive big man doesn’t get his deal renewed (by Prichard), so he decides to take a hike. Let’s hope this ceases happening from now on in TNA.

5. Sheamus as a babyface (11)

Geez, he didn’t even DO anything this week. Well, except get booed mercilessly by the fans in Brooklyn last week. Maybe they’re all loyal Crappers?

6. Nikki Bella/John Cena proposal a ‘selling point’ for upcoming WWE Total Divas (NR)

WWE for the ‘Real Housewives’ crowd. If you enjoy these stilted cornball shows, and you care  about the world at large, you wouldn’t breed.  I’m serious.

7. Aces and Eights kidnap Kurt Angle in the back of a flatbed truck (NR)

Angle could easily have jumped out at a stop street. Instead, he chose to murder the driver and steal that truck. At least, I think that’s what happened.

8. Brad Maddox (4)

If nothing else, he has the ability to keep me from watching a show where Bryan, Punk, Sandow, and Shield are pushed. That’s an amazing talent.

9. Ric Flair falls eight months behind on alimony, arrest warrant issued (NR)

I hope the world stops enabling him. He lives off the high of fandom and idoltry. Treat him like a jackass, and maybe he’ll wake up and straighten things out.

10. Chris Sabin wins World Title in an overbooked mess (NR)

Don’t get me wrong, I, along with most people here, am happy Sabin won. But the match itself made you think Russo was alive and booking once more.

11. Miz as a babyface (7)

27 weeks and counting for the MizTV host. Funny, he wasn’t faring well until that Divas MizTV bit last night. Then the votes poured in like water.

12. The Bella Twins (9)

Not even Brie’s ill-timed nip slip (for her, not the IWC) could spare them a spot on the Crappings. And after Total Divas, it might get worse for them.

13. The Vickie Guerrero job evaluation (2)

The stench lingers longer from this skit, as more McMahons doesn’t seem to equal more fun for the viewers. Why can’t USA take a hint?

14. Tony Dawson (NR)

If Triple H can bench Kassius Ohno for not being ‘aesthetically pleasing’, why can’t he bench Dawson for irritating people with good taste in broadcasting?

15. Baltimore fans chant “Husky Harris” at debuting Bray Wyatt (1)

Survived another week, despite objections by some. Smart as the fans can be, sometimes those smarts aren’t required. Especially against a talent like Bray.


Written by

Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)
36 Responses to "WrestleCrap Power Crappings Week XXVII"
  1. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Where was Bo Dallas and the whole “Thank you, Kruger!” chant?! I am fully convinced Bo Dallas is the WORST face ever and thoroughly shocked he was not listed this week – when a supposed face (and champ) is getting the beat down from a sinister villain and the fans are chanting for the villain as the dorky useless announcer tries to chastise the villain then something is wrong – and it is not JUST tony effing Dawson….

    • phillip sanders says:

      I have been confused myself. I have always thought that bo dallas as well has been playing the heel against kruger not becasue of the crowd reaction but because of his arrogant backstage interviews and his acting in the match against langston. But i still see him wrestling heels. so ya i think he is playing a guy thats a hee,l that thinks he is a face,. OR SOMETHING?

      • Thomas Moffatt says:

        Guys hopeless IMO – that dumb grin, the charismaless promos and the awful, unoriginal, poorly executed finisher don’t help – doubt beating up Hornswoggle could even help him…

        • Noel Frey says:

          The first time I saw his finisher, I thought it was a botch. Then I saw it again, and again, and again, every time thinking “This can’t be for real”

    • StevilFTW says:

      The whole point of Bo Dallas is to be that annoying overpushed babyface. And it’s working perfectly.

      He still sucks though.

      • Thomas Moffatt says:

        The way to save him is easy – turn him heel on Sami Zayn during a tag match and have him lined up as Vickie Guerrero’s new shag in the character of an over rated charismaless toolbox with a toolbox grin… let the fans hate the man they want to hate.. it could be the second coming of The Rock – remember Rocky Maivia? Wrestlecrap need to unveil another classic induction there…

  2. Brad Maddox says:

    I’m the one stopping you from watching RAW? I understand your code, you mean that hairy little goblin, Bryan, right? I understand you not wanting to voice your true opinion here on the internet, don’t worry, Uncle Brad will take care of everything.

    BFF’s for life.

  3. Jerichoholic Ninja says:

    With regards to the Bray Wyatt thing, I am convinced that if today’s fans were around in the mid-’90s, they would have chanted “Ringmaster” at Steve Austin.

    Some fans simply feel the need to look intelligent. So instead of enjoying the debut of a new wrestler, they feel the need to essentially say “Ha! That’s Husky Harris! Silly Vince, thinking he can fool us. We’re smarter than that.”

    • "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

      Agreed 100%.

    • Ted says:

      Or it could be that’s its not 1985 anymore and you can just shove a guy in a different costume and hope no one notices. He shouldn’t have been husky Harris at all.

      • Thomas Moffatt says:

        But why don’t fans jeer Ryback as Skip Sheffield instead of Bill Goldberg? He looks more like Skip Sheffield to me…

      • Jerichoholic Ninja says:

        Who cares if they recast him? This isn’t a real sport! This isn’t like taking Tom Brady, giving him a makeover and hoping nobody notices. He plays a character. The WWE decided to recast him. It happens all the time. Does anyone actually think the wrestling world would be a better place if Steve Austin remained the Ringmaster or if Kane continued to play Dr. Isaac Yankem? It’s what the WWE does. A character doesn’t work. They like the wrestler. They recast him. Get over it.

  4. Ryan says:

    8 months?! How do you fall 8 months behind on payments? Would you not start getting collection calls after 2? You yankees must be REALLLY calm about money….

    Anyway, what is going in TNA? Is Bruce doing rails off of his suitcase now or something? Is Hulk actually running the joint as opposed to being the onscreen manager?

    I’m serious, the releases and frig-ups of the past few weeks just show me that the entire senior management if TNA needs a cleansweep. What a novel idea it would be if Panda actually cared enough to put some decent money into the place, hire people who know what they’re doing, and actually started running a competent company.

    As for WWE. I was channel surfing Friday.
    I landed on the Score
    Smackdown was on
    Vicki got named GM
    I promptly changed channels and watched reruns of The Liquidator until my woman came over

    and thats WWE.

  5. Thomas Moffatt says:

    If the Gooker was to be based on the Power Crappings then Miz would be an odds on favourite…

    • hobu0 says:

      He’s essentially fallen right back down to where he started. An irritating host.

      I actually feel bad for him for that in a way….I never believed him as a main eventer. I can’t believe he got to headline wrestlemania. However, he’s not that bad of a talent overall.
      I’m sure he gets paid decent and seems to be alright…good for him.

  6. Noel Frey says:

    Was the Miz TV segment edited down to 3 minutes for hulu because of the nip slip or was the segment really that short? On hulu it went: Miz introduces divas (Natty getting probably the biggest pop, pay attention WWE!!!!!), calls up Lawler, Eva Marie slaps Lawler, end of segment. They cut a lot of stuff I want to see on the hulu version of the show, but at least I finally get to see Daniel Bryan matches on it now.

  7. AlexanAdru says:

    While I agree with the list I am amazed Bo “beyond obnoxious” Dallas wasn’t on the list as he is just awful, not to mention shoved down everyone’s throats. He, and Tony Dawson are really the only bad things on NXT.

    • Thomas Moffatt says:

      Your wrong – sometimes they have Brad Maddox on colour commentary for some bizarre reason…

  8. Stephen says:

    I find the Ric Flair thing to be just plain sad, rather than “Crap”. Maybe that’s just me though. I’m also finding it hard to dislike Brad Maddox; it’s not like Mike Adamle, where he’s accidentally bad. Vince or whoever else finds his schtick funny like seeing him being bad, so Maddox goes out there and is intentionally obnoxious. He’s good at his job, so it’s hard to blame him.

    Also, number two is the creepiest Miz picture I’ve ever seen. It’s even scarier when enlarged.

  9. The Duke says:

    I really think the WWE should have saved Brie Bella’s nipslip for Summerslam. This is the equivalent of WCW booking Hogan/Goldberg on a Monday Nitro.

  10. Meh says:

    1. So why wasn’t Christopher Daniels, Kaz, Abyss/Joseph Park, Austin Aries, Bobby Roode, Chavo Guerrero, Eric Young, Hernandez, AJ Styles, Magnus, Manik, Mr. Anderson, Mickie James, Taryn Terrell and Velvet Sky at that house show?

    2 & 11. Really? Miz has come along way from his days on The Real World. He pretty much had a dream, and worked his backside off to achieve it. Sure he had a little help with his pre-WWE days, but he had to work hard to get where he is now. Plus the guy’s great on the mic, and has the wrestling skills to back it up. He deserves to be a babyface and SummerSlam host though he really should be wrestling at SummerSlam.

    3, 6, 12 & 13. I rather not see Vickie or the Bellas on TV at all.

    10. While it was nice to see Chris Sabin win the World title I still would rather see Christopher Daniels win the World title rather than him being trapped in tag team Championship hell.

    • The Cabana Formerly Belonging To Carlito says:

      If you think Miz is deserving of any respect, you should get your head examined!

    • Justin Henry says:

      Would you like to write for WrestleCrap? Your Miz declaration demonstrates impeccable sarcasm.

  11. Meh says:

    As Bo Dallas goes. Can you imagine if John Cena had picked Bo as his (Cena’s) SummerSlam opponent? Whoever wins, we lose.

    • Thomas Moffatt says:

      Unless in some bizarre circumstance the stipulation was an iron man match where you picked up falls by putting Hornswoggle threw tables…

  12. Iron Smark Tyson says:

    I wonder if DB beats Cena at Summerslam and then Randy Orton cashes in will JUSTIN HENRY keep that atop of the standings for the rest of the year?

    • Justin Henry says:

      Now now, my friend who isn’t courageous enough to use his real name, it’s the voters who decide what gets ranked on the list. I don’t even vote.

  13. ScMcS says:

    Wow, there’s a lot of new crap on the list this week, and all of it justifiably so. From the bumbling mess that is TNA, to the push of the new Divas show, and the McMahon Power Struggles and yet more “annoying boss” characters, it’s hard to enjoy it when Daniel Bryan has a pair of 3-star matches on Raw, or how awesome the Wyatt Family is, or how much Punk/Heyman have been so awesome building the match at Slam with Lesnar.

  14. Jacob Gunther says:

    My confession: I like Sheamus because he’s a good wrestler, and at the end of the day, that’s all I really care about in WWE. Gimmicks can suck, you can be a bully face, I don’t care, his matches just aren’t bad. And Brad Maddox? I’m a fan of his too. I don’t know why, just am. And Miz? I don’t hate him, I don’t really like him, but I don’t hate him. Not like all of Wrestlecrap, anyway. So if it was up to me, he wouldn’t be in the rankings as much as he is.

  15. Piper's Armpit says:

    Sheamus … sigh. Just awful.
    I’ve been following Wrestlecrap from little old NZ for years. Always window shopping, never commenting. But Sheamus, combined with the ICFY for Pro Wrestler Vs Zombies … my wrestlecrappeth overfloweth this week.
    Sheamus’ face run could be summed up by the Brooklyn crowd, when John Cena was trying to pick his opponent for Summerslam. Sheamus got booed out of the building! But instead of showing any charisma, attitude or general gumption whatsoever, just put on a big cheesy grin, as if to say, “oh well, shucks”.
    Shouldn’t you be a little ticked off you didn’t get the title shot?!?
    Even Randy Orton sold his disappointment better, even if it was with his default facial expression. Just … just stop.
    I know Total Divas is going to be a lock for the Gooker, but Sheamus and Miz can carry the award in, while grinning for no reason and repeatedly saying, ‘really?’

    • Thomas Moffatt says:

      I think WWE has the Gooker bagged with either a) it’s Cavalcade of Crappy Faces b) All Things Bella c) Totally Divas or d) the Ongoing Adventures of the H’s (Triple and Nipple) with the Lesnar/Heyman/Axel Feud, the Power struggle, Stephanie’s mike working/acting, Trip’s refusing to work and his head injury, Nip’s trashing the Divas to look bad ass – personally I think d) has it because we were all fed up of the H’s MONTHS ago…

  16. Mr Maddog says:

    “This [Celeberty Wife Swap] footage will someday be entered in as evidence at Naitch’s bankruptcy hearing.”

    …and the alimony case as well.

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