Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!
1. Tito Ortiz revealed as August 1 mystery man (NR)
The only thing icier than the crowd reaction to Ortiz’s debut is “Iceman” Chuck Liddell, and he’s caved Ortiz’s head in twice. Not a good start.
2. Kurt Angle arrested for fourth DUI in six years (NR)
Angle did the wise thing and checked into rehab, but given that he put lives in danger while impaired, many voters had zero pity for the Olympic hero.
3. South African man attacks Randy Orton prior to match (NR)
It’s still real to this Cape Towner. Though some believe this to be somehow a work, it’s pretty obvious that it’s a case of a dumb fan going too far.
4. Nikki Bella distracts Natalya using a duck call (NR)
Because Natalya’s an ugly duckling! HA HA HA HA. Seriously, do all heel divas have to act like they’re in junior high? Smart, sexy, powerful my ass.
5. WWE Total Divas (5)
You know a show is fake when wrestling fans, often victims of jerks telling them how fake wrestling is, look at Total Divas and go, “Wow, this shit is SOOOO fake.”
6. McMahon Power Trip (NR)
Take every “McMahons in charge” angle of the last 15 years. Now get drunk and weave them into one angle. That’s still better than this self-indulgence.
7. Vickie Guerrero is now in charge of Smackdown (13)
Speaking of power garbage, the hated Vickie is apparently a face for a week after making Alberto choose a suitable opponent. Eh?
8. Miz as a babyface (6)
29 for 29! Miz nearly fell off this week, but a flood of votes poured in, following his commentary stint on Monday. See that? The Miz IS an inspirational figure.
9. Bo Dallas as NXT Champion (14)
People just don’t like Bo. The more his interesting big brother gets to chew the scenery on Raw, the more bland baby brother looks. A more vanilla Rocky Maivia.
10. Bully Ray vs. Brooke Hogan (NR)
Seeing so many TNA releases while Hulk’s daughter (and Bischoff’s kid) hang around only stirs up ill feelings toward Impact Wrestling. Hint hint, Dixie.
11. Layla turns on Kaitlyn, despite there being no reason to ally with her (NR)
I have nothing to add to the dumb angle. So let’s just talk about how scintillating that shot of Layla is. I can see why she’s the preferred ‘deever’ here at The Crap.
12. The Bella Twins (10)
Between duck calls, juvenile behavior, atrocious acting, and being on that crappy reality show, the Professional Celebrities add no substance.
13. Miz announces he will ‘host’ Summerslam (7)
And Miz played it up on commentary like it’s an honor and a big deal. That’s a level of denial rarely seen outside of Kate Moss padlocking her refrigerator.
14. Kassius Ohno benched for purportedly not having a presentable physique (2)
Which begs the question: if being buff and ripped is paramount to being a bad ass, how come Undertaker never competes without a shirt of some sort?
15. MizTV with the Total Divas cast, complete with push of untrained Eva Marie (1)
This train wreck from 2 weeks ago got enough support to rank this week. It’s the genesis of their trash TV side project, so you can see why it’s hated.
Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)