RANT: Where’s Gorilla Monsoon to Tell Us Things Have LITERALLY Changed Forever?

17 Submitted by on Tue, 30 December 2014, 10:14

From the “Less Things Change, the More They Stay the Same” file, we get comedy from WWE.com.  Behold, #3 on their list of “10 Ways 2014 Changed WWE Forever” list…

authority

Apparently in WWE Speak, “Forever” = “40 Days”.

Good to know.

 

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17 Responses to "RANT: Where’s Gorilla Monsoon to Tell Us Things Have LITERALLY Changed Forever?"
  1. Frick says:

    To be fair, it also only took 40 days for God to flood the Earth and thus change it forever. Unfortunately WWE’s flood was of directionless promos and an aborted plan to bring the anonymous GM back which was ended almost instantly due to negative fan reaction.

    It’s no wonder Michaels was so keen to play down his retirement angle, it’s impossible to assume anything in WWE has any longterm plan behind it. The sad thing though is that, unlike TNA, at least WWE got a pay-per-view buyrate out of it.

  2. John C says:

    Are you kidding this is the best thing ever. It just adds an extra layer of importance for the next special stipulation match. Team Authority vs Team Cena in a, “Infanty plus one retirement match” in which the loser has to be off tv for at least 2-3 segments on the next Raw. Imagine everyone pulling out all the stops to make sure their oppenents have to be off the air after the opening segment of a show and STAY OFF for two whole commercial breaks.

  3. Drew says:

    I, for one, missed those awesome Triple H promos. “Okay, uhhhhhh, let me get this straight, uhhhhhh, The Authority would be, uhhhhhhhhh, barred for life, uhhhhhh, or until John Cena, uhhhhhhhh, allows us, uhhhhhh, back in, uhhhhhhhh.”

    I think, uhhhhh, that I’m, uhhhh, going to start watching, uhhhhhh, C-Span, uhhhhh, on Monday nights from now, uhhhhh, on. If I, uhhhhh, want to watch dolts and, uhhhhh, morons that can’t, uhhhhh, string together a, uhhhhhh, coherent sentence, uhhhhh, I might as well watch the, uhhhhh, professional idiots in Congress, uhhhhh, rather than, uhhhhh, boring ass amateurs like, uhhhhh, Triple H.

  4. Alexandru says:

    Yeah WWE has a weird concept of forever. I know WWE wants to start the Triple H/Sting feud but why not bring him back alone what’s the point of the Authority now? I guess WWE thinks no one is sick to death of 30 minute promos from these two stooges

  5. CBCB says:

    So does this mean WWE has to change their intro to “Then… Now… 40 Days”?

  6. Down With OPC says:

    That’s because their “reign of terror” ended. Now starts their “second reign of terror”.

  7. Adam says:

    So the site writers put that up the same day, before the return angle.

    Gotta keep the left hand blind to the right, after all?

  8. BaltoJim says:

    Daniel Bryan occupies Raw and is arrested. Brie Bella slaps Daniel Bryan’s physical therapist/Claire Lynch clone and is arrested. Stephanie McMahon slaps Brie Bella and is arrested. Seth Rollins and Big Show try to break Edge’s neck with a curb stomp after extorting the return of The Authority from John Cena and… nothing. What, they couldn’t find enough local indy wrestlers to have Rosebuds AND cops to make the arrests?

  9. That Don Guy says:

    I’m waiting for Vince to drag out “Judge Mills Lane”, or maybe Judge Judy this time, to “rule” that Cena’s verbal announcement that he “released The Authority” is not a valid termination of their contractual ban on having any control over wrestlers

  10. ChrisV says:

    Drew forgot Triple H’s new trademark odd tic.
    “Here’s the thing, we aren’t going to stay off TV for more than a month and a half. And, here’s the thing, we don’t have to. Here’s the thing.”

    • Drew says:

      Right you are!! Here’s the thing … I also forget his standard “let me get this straight.” So if any random challenger called him out … let’s say Daniel Bryan challenged him to a match … the absolute first thing he ALWAYS says is “let me get this straight … you’re challenging me to a match?” I’m waiting for someone to finally say “are you hard of hearing, stupid? Was that too much for your steroid addled brain to comprehend, ya big nosed, bosses daughter marrying, bad acting, habitual career burying nitwit? What’s to get straight? I challenged you to a match, I didn’t ask you for the square root of pi, numbskull.”

  11. Doc 902714 says:

    Could be worse. They could’ve brought back Mike Adamle. Actually I don’t mind Triple H & Stephanie being back at all. It led to some interesting television with Brie Bella and Daniel Bryan. Only thing is this sorta nullifies what Sting did in his big debut at Survivor Series. When Kane was still parading as the Director of Operations and they also still had J&J Security ya had to know that The Authority’s return could not have been far off.

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