Newz: WWE being given golden broom, to honor the way in which crippler voldemort was swept under the rug

10 Submitted by on Tue, 08 October 2013, 13:44

vince

 

I’ve never liked the idea that, as a society, we get awards for being sensible and responsible. So WWE’s getting an award for the way in which it’s combated the concussion issue within their organization, though the source says “Major Award.” If it’s not a stocking-clad leg lamp delivered in a crate that says “fra-gee-lay”, I’ll be sorely disappointed.

I just hope when Michael Cole inevitably brags about WWE’s slopping of positive publicity and psuedo-dignified back-slapping during Raw, it’s as Dolph Ziggler’s taking a horrific bump, or Daniel Bryan’s kicking someone’s skull into sawdust. Just because irony, when executed effortlessly, is a great story device.

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Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)
10 Responses to "Newz: WWE being given golden broom, to honor the way in which crippler voldemort was swept under the rug"
  1. MaturedSinner says:

    I certainly hope a video package is shown at the ceremony, to display how WWE handles concussions, consisting solely of Ziggler vs. Del Rio at Payback.

  2. Autrach Sejanoz says:

    Further proof that the world’s gone insane.

  3. Matt Soileau says:

    That’s like McDonald’s getting an award for battling Coronary Artery Disease…

  4. THE Jeffry Mason says:

    Obviously the organization giving the award has only seen Saturday Morning Slam. Clearly the best way to prevent concussions is to just show the announcers on screen instead. After all, in the “WWE Universe” if it doesnt happen on screen or the app, it never happened. RIP SMS

    • Anonymous says:

      I’d be willing to bet anything that they’d never seen wrestling before period. They almost assuredly heard it second/third/zillionth hand and acted on that hearsay, nothing more.

  5. Bastard1 says:

    Shoot yer eye out, kid.

  6. Adam Cota says:

    Thanks so much for the Christmas Story reference…

  7. Art0Donnell says:

    The best candidate for a concussion awareness award is the one that has had a 500-pound man knock person after person unconscious (including a senior citizen) as part of his job duties, only for each victim to come back the next week with no long- or short-term consequences.

  8. AlexK says:

    Today I saw a picture of Jericho with David Benoit, and when I asked who it was (I didn’t know who it was at the time), there was a reference of “the one who lived” in the explanation. Seeing the title of this Newz bit kinda scares me for that reason, lol.

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