NEWZ: Goldberg Creates Streaks; Ryback Just Ends Them, Because Money

13 Submitted by on Wed, 25 September 2013, 20:16

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Take this with a grain of salt the size of the frames on Brodus Clay’s Mars Blackmon glasses, but internet scuttlebutt points at WWE maybe, possibly, kinda/sorta considering having Ryback be the man to break Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak.

Apparently, the way he bullies catering personnel with his unmistakably bad-ass knit hat (that you can order off of WWE Shop for you or your children) has impressed the Stamford braintrust enough that they would consider throwing what’s left of their common sense into the company shredder.

While this is probably just a red herring for the company to eventually make Undertaker job to Cena at WrestleMania (“Well, I hate Cena, but he’s got more credibility than FARGING RYBACK!!!!!”), there would be benefits to Ryback going over.

I mean, say Ryback does thump Undertaker something good inside the Superdome. What better way to rebuild a character’s credibility after he needed a referee to save him, and his knee, from the violent onslaught of The Miz? That should be a program mandated by the company: The Lost Dignity Reclamation and Reparation Initiative, for anybody that has had to make Miz look like a worldbeater.

If you ever see Wade Barrett and Kofi Kingston going over John Cena clean, you know WWE’s siphoning my ideas, even the bad ones (which is all of them).

Of course, if Ryback DOES beat Taker cleanly in New Orleans, you know he’s losing to COO Paul at Extreme Rules. If you did something Hunter couldn’t do, he will break you. It’s written into the company contracts, under the part where you can be legally executed if you sneeze and it sounds like you said, “Zahorian.”

(Justin was here)

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Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)
13 Responses to "NEWZ: Goldberg Creates Streaks; Ryback Just Ends Them, Because Money"
  1. Adam Cota says:

    I would’ve guessed Hunter wanted to rope Slaughter into something stupid for the latter notching a ‘W’ over the Warrior, but then I remembered that Boot Camp Match…

  2. Noel Frey says:

    If Ryback beats ‘Taker cleanly and follows it up with “And that’s what happens…..TA BULLIES!” like he did on Raw, I’d actually be pretty happy.

  3. Hashington says:

    If internet rumors are to be believed then Brock, Sting, and Kane are also ending the streak at wm30. Gonna be a busy last mania for Taker.

  4. Anonymous says:

    He should be able to retire with the streak intact. Of course MacMahon and co. won’t allow that to happen, but it really freaking should.

    • krak says:

      I disagree. I think that the golden rule in wrestling is nothing is forever and no one is unbeatable. If Taker retires with the streak untouched then there was no point to it in the first place

  5. MJA says:

    How are we supposed to buy that Ryback can break the streak when he’s never won any kind of title in the WWE. Hell, he’s never even won a big match on PPV of any kind. If they’re serious about this match, they need to have Ryback win the World Heavyweight Championship immediately and keep it til Wrestlemania. That way, they can have a title match and give Taker his last ever reign as World Champion. And no one, and I mean NO ONE, is ever going to break the streak.

  6. Autrach Sejanoz says:

    My feelings, summed up:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEMimY0HyUk

  7. CarlMarksGuy says:

    Just so long as after Taker fights in his last Wrestlemania, he shows up in TNA a few months later and jobs to Hogan in a “loser blades during the match” best of 100 feud, then loses to Abyss and his magic ring.

    THAT’S the way you cap off a great career!

  8. Michael Maiello says:

    Nobody should end the streak. I think that long term, it’s worth more as an intact record than it will be to anyone who finally ends it and it’s not as if failing to end the streak has hurt anyone’s credibility, so long as it is a competitive match.

    That said, I so wanted it to be Flair after Arn Anderson showed up with that spinebuster…

  9. Michael Maiello says:

    Oh, and just for this post… on the front page… I think you should change “Read More” to “Read Me More.” Or maybe, after his bully stint, they can make Ryback do community service by working with kids in the “Read Me More” program…

  10. Drew S says:

    I thought whenever the streak does go they should have the rogue’s gallery of guys Taker has beaten come out and participate. Like when Yokozuna beat him at the casket match – The Headshrinkers, Bam Bam Bigelow and other heels came out to stuff Taker in the casket.

    Have Jake The Snake, King Kong Bundy, Ric Flair, Randy Orton, Batista, Edge, Jimmy Snuka, Kevin Nash – all these guys he beat at WrestleMania’s and stand around the ring like lumberjacks.

  11. MaturedSinner says:

    Doubtful that Ryback will win against Undertaker if he gets the match. He gets buried so much by creative there’s no chance he will get over enough. He was the first guy in forever to pin Cena cleanly, but you never heard Cole or King or any of the recap video packages do anything more than gloss over that fact. If WWE can’t even recognize what Ryback has accomplished, there’s no way they will strap more accomplishments to him, especially not one like ending the streak. They would have a hell of a job ignoring that on Ryback’s resume.

  12. Shucky Ducky Quack Quack says:

    If Wrestlemania 30 is the Undertaker’s last match I say give him the best possible send off. Have Cena win the WWE title at some point and then put it on the line against Taker in New Orleans. Treat it like Flair and induct Taker in the Hall of Fame the night before. Don’t hide the fact that this is his last match. It’ll only boost the buyrate with everyone knowing this will be the time the streak finally ends.

    Then, at the end of the night, in the last match, Cena puts Taker over his shoulders for one last AA and it’s countered into a tombstone. Undertaker wins, retires as champion, the streak is never broken.

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