Curtain Jerker: Worst Color Commentator Ever?

76 Submitted by on Mon, 06 May 2013, 09:30

Ok, discussion over on the latest Saturday Morning Slam report has focused on the horrendosity that is Brad Maddox.  In my estimation, he is one of, if not the, worst color commentator of all time.  What say ye?

Post your comments below!

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76 Responses to "Curtain Jerker: Worst Color Commentator Ever?"
  1. TheRavishingOne says:

    I think his character is an unlikable d-bag that no one should ever get behind. I heard him on NXT, and i thought he was the perfect foil to the play-by-play guy (I think it was Tony Dawson).

    I have not heard him on SMS, but I think he a good enough job.

  2. patricko says:

    I keep thinking they’ve got a plan for him, when I see him as Vickie’s assistant on Raw…
    Wishful thinking.

    Bad commentators? Geez, where to start?

    I know it was the thing back in the day, and that he’s a really talented guy, but as a youth, trying to simply watch the product, Heenan on heel commentary was annoying as hell. You knew what he was going to say in advance, you knew you’d be listening to him NOT see blatant heel tactics, talk up the heels, talk down the faces. To the point where it was difficult to watch the match sometimes.

    To a lesser extent, same for Jessie Ventura.

    And this carried over to WCW as well. Spots in the ring were basically ignored, while they put their effort into getting… themselves over.

    You think action in the ring is ignored or downplayed by commentators NOW? go back 25 years. And it was on ALL the WWE programming, not just 3rd tier saturday morning show.

    Don West made me wish that I could find someone broadcasting TNA on an AM radio station, so I could turn IT on, and the sound off on my TV, like I used to do on College Football Game Day, when I attended a Big 10 school.

    TAZ is not very good.
    Foley, the few times I caught him on Smackdown…. Well it’s little wonder his boss was yelling in his ear a lot.

    Jerry Lawler, years ago, with incessant drooling about puppies and such, did not make for good audio while trying to watch wrestling.

    • Jack Mehoff says:

      you sir are a fool. heenan was the balls!

      • patricko says:

        What did he add to the wrestling viewing experience?
        How did he enhance the in-ring action?

        Again, it was the time period, he was the heel announcer and embraced the role, but as someone who’s job it was to get the match and the wrestler’s over to those watching at home… he blew goats.

  3. Muta Mark says:

    Art Donovan.Nuff said!

  4. Stuart Ratliff says:

    What about Tony Dawson?

    • Thun says:

      Dawson is just some transeunt that happens to be there and was offered some cents to talk loud. I can’t believe he is a commentator.

  5. RhineStoneCowboy says:

    That sad sack fruit booty, Stevie Ray.

  6. CM PUNK says:

    Face Jerry Lawler.

  7. John says:

    “Look at that…Tony, Tony,Tony” David Crockett.

    • Mister Forth says:

      Crockett seemed so uninterested, he would’ve been Future Endeavored had he not been related to the boss.

  8. Sean says:

    You are right on the money. MaddOX is spectacularly poor on the mic. I thought I was just more sensitive to his shitty commentary, being a comedian and having standards, but it turns out he’s just bad in general. Rob Bartlett V.2.

  9. Steve "Hard Rock" Diamond says:

    Todd Petengill…enough said

  10. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Mike Adamle, Jonathon Coachman and the worst ever Michael Cole – William Regal put it best on this weeks NXT when sat between the awful Tony Dawson and even worse Brad Maddox that he was “stuck between two pillocks”

    I believe Dawson is a distraction to the atrocious Michael Cole but is Maddox a distraction to Dawson???

    • cobra says:

      While I agree with you on Mike Adamle and Johnathan Coachman are terrible. But Adamle, Coach and Michael Cole (who i don’t think is as bad as people make out to be, he’s just the guy who replaced Jim Ross and when you replace a legend it’s hard to live up to) are not color commentators, they would be lead announcers.

  11. Brian E says:

    Agreed. No other commentator (guest or permanent) comes close. I mean, Art Donovan was dreadful, but thankfully you only had to deal with him once, and he didn’t talk too much (except for the all-immortal question, “how much does this guy weigh?”). Randy “Flying Leg Kick” Rosenbloom from the reprehensible Heroes of Wrestling PPV was terrible as well, but he was overshadowed by all sorts of suckage on that show. Brad Maddox stands out on his own, since SMS doesn’t have a whole lot of other crap to deal with.

    Hands down, Brad Maddox takes the cake.

  12. Eric S says:

    Well, growing up in NYC in the late 80′s every MSG house show was televised and each time you would get some random wrestler thrown in with Gorilla Monsoon. I would often hear either Hillbilly Jim, Johnny V, Slick, or even Dusty Rhodes on the mic and it was awful. It just seemed whoever was not on the card that night could volunteer.

  13. Mr. #2derful says:

    Bruno Sammartino on the old “Championship Wrestling?” show gave me a pain a pill can’t reach.

    • Eric S says:

      So very true. And sometimes he would be silent for five minutes and you would think he left or something.

  14. Andy says:

    Lord Alfred Hayes, the homeless person’s Ed McMahon. Cole’s heel run that had me hitting the SAP button.

  15. Jimbolian says:

    It’s a toss up between Rob Bartlett and Mark Madden. Bartlett pretty much had no business announcing the first few Raw all because Vince spotted him from the Imus Radio Show. As for Madden, he was flat out annoying; considering he replaced Bobby Heenan and was there during WCW’s dying days.

  16. fNick Nutter says:

    Two words: Rob Bartlett.

  17. Charles says:

    As great a talker as Arn Anderson is, I thought the chemistry between him and Scott Hudson sucked during that ill fated Buff Bagwell/Booker T contest from Monday Night Raw

    • SCFNL says:

      Hit it on the head there man – they were a total disaster – don’t get the credit they deserve either for contributing to that awful, awful segment in wrestling history.

  18. Scrooge McSuck says:

    Rob Bartlett still stands out as one of the worst. He makes the early Raw episodes almost unwatchable because of his lack of knowledge for the product, his terrible comedy, and his efforts of putting himself over everything else that’s going on. The very definition of a self-promoting whore.

    Other notables:

    Super Billy Graham. Rambled nonsense and, this is a weird complaint, but CONSTANTLY REFERING TO EVERYONE BY FULL NAME. Example: What a great hold that was, Lord Alfred Hayes. Lord Alfred Hayes, have you ever seen him that big before, brudda? I don’t think he’s doing it properly, Lord Alfred Hayes.” Repeat for 120 minutes.

    Anyone who did work on Sunday Night Heat from 2003-on. Coach, face or heel, Grisham, Al Snow, Lita… it didn’t matter. All of them sucked ass.

  19. Al Lobama says:

    I stand by Juventud Guerrera as my choice for worst commentator. As bad as Brad Maddox is, at least you can understand the words that are coming out of his mouth. English is Juvie’s second language and the guy was high half the time he was commentating Thunder, and that’s a BAD combination when you put the two together. While many point to Mike Adamle, in my opinion Juvie was the first announcer to keep his job BECAUSE he was so awful of the microphone that the person in charge (Russo in this instance) thought it was entertaining. To quote Gorilla Monsoon, it most certainly was NOT!

    While he may make a top ten list or at least get an honorable mention, I am honestly SHOCKED that nobody has thrown out Mongo’s name yet. The guy has his own wing in Wrestlecrap AND Botchamania for cryin’ out loud!

  20. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    Heel Lord Alfred is pretty awful.

  21. Joseph S. Hasan says:

    Seems like Miz was doing color for every “Main Event” for a while- no sir, I did NOT like it.

    • Joseph S. Hasan says:

      Maddox is young, I want to allow more time before calling him the worst.

      • Scrooge McSuck says:

        Not that I’m defending him, but I think it’s his gimmick… it still makes him horrible, but maybe they’re having him deliberately be bad because someone finds it amusing?

  22. Tempest_Fennac says:

    I found Mike Adamle to be really irritating, but I remember seeing one match where Steve Austin was commentating and he was pretty dire due to his tendency to talk ridiculously quickly so it’s hard to understand what he’s saying. To be honest, I enjoyed The Coach’s commentry but I know a lot of other people have claimed he’s awful without really saying why.

  23. steve says:

    am i the only one who thinks brad looks like eric rip- my- career- from- over- the- hill -hogan- bischoff?

  24. Sir Thomas says:

    Wow, I’m impressed Matt Striker hasn’t even been mentioned yet. But I guess compared to the likes of Mike Adamle and Rob Bartlet, he could’ve been worse.

  25. Madman MadmanM Szalinski says:

    I am only counting regular commentators, for if I were to include one-time only appearances Susan St. James and Art O’ Donnell would dominate this entire discussion.

    That being said, Mark Madden. Did NOTHING to sell the show, the company, the wrestlers, or the wrestling. He didn’t even do a good job of putting himself over while ignoring the world around him.

    • "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

      I forgot all about Mark Madden. What a worthless pile of crap he was. Just awful. Typical radio sports talk show host idiot.

  26. Justin Cook says:

    Two words: Tony Schiavone

  27. Walt says:

    Bruno Sammartino on WWF and later Herb Abram’s UWF was bad.

    Tommy Dreamer on ECW’s Bare Legal didn’t fare too well, he should have been in Funk’s corner.

    Was Cyrus ever a coomentator on ECW for The Network? If so, he sucked.

    From AWA Championship Wrestling on ESPN: Lord James Blears, Greg Gagne and Verne Gagne would do commentary next to Trongard, and they would stink, especially Verne and Greg.

    • patricko says:

      Forgot about the dynamic duo of Abrams / Sammartino for the UWF power hour. That was really bad. But you could buy Herbie Cookies…

  28. heavyhandedDOOM says:

    Seriously? No one has mentioned Larry Zybszko yet? If it wasn’t about how awesome he and his old Minnesota buddies were, or his golf game, he would just bury it to hell.

    • patricko says:

      But he liked to mention how the wrestlers were masters at the game of human chess. he gets 5 points for that.

      Honestly, I think Larry Z should get props for making such a career for himself out of, well… nothing, really. he married well, I think.

      I can see why you brought him up, but for me, by the time WCW inflicted him on us, I’d already been listening to guys promote themselves and not the product for a few years….

    • hofeizai says:

      I was thinking that. My mom hates pro wrestling, and if she’s in the room when my brother or I are watching, she just points out how stupid it is and all the better uses there could be for our time. She still seemed more enthusiastic about WCW than Zbysko was. The phrase “quite likely worse than Mongo” is not a phrase I’d use lightly, but it seems to apply.

  29. Jay "The Brain" Mann says:

    Randy Rosenbloom from Heroes of Wrestling. From the moment when he botched the call of a simple move, you knew the show was doomed. Even Uncle Dutch couldn’t help that commentary. How do you botch calling a dropkick multiple times and with different names each time?!

    Tony Dawson. He’s good as the faceless narrator of Saturday Morning Slam (yes, RD, that’s him), but that’s about it. However, I think WWE sees something nobody else sees in him, which explains why he’s now on NXT, Superstars, internet pre-shows, WWE Active… If I ever hear “FOR THE WIN!”, “FOR THE PIN!” or any combination of those words again, it’ll be way too soon.

  30. El Rob says:

    No one has any hate left for Sean Mooney? Guess I’ll have to give him the dishonorable mention.

  31. ProWresBlog says:

    Maddox is just working a gimmick.

    Tom Phillips of NXT is the worst. All-time worst who actually tried was The Crusher.

  32. Autrach Sejanoz says:

    Don West, with Mark Madden a VERY close second.

    “YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”
    “YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”
    “YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”

  33. Charlie Murphy says:

    I don’t care if Maddox’s idiot routine is a gimmick or not at this point. He renders everything he touches night unwatchable.

    Mike Adamle is definitely worse though. While i’m still holding out an inkling of hope that Maddox isn’t as incompetent as he appears to be there is no excuse for Adamle.

  34. ReReallyrPeteGasWopie says:

    does anyone remember “The Loose Cannon” Brian Pillman on crutches doing Superstars all the time? I can’t remember if it was good or bad.

    • Scott Hurley says:

      I dont remember him so much on Superstars but him and JR on Shotgun Saturday Night was awesome

  35. Ed says:

    Current Jerry Lawler. He’s the reason I have to watch Raw on mute. Dude was amazing as a heel color commentator, but his shitty stand up schtick is growing very, very old.

    • AlexanAdru says:

      I think with the King he’s at a point where he just doesn’t care. I think William Regal should take over for him.

  36. Jerichoholic Ninja says:

    I wouldn’t call him the worst color commentator ever, but I REALLY hate Jerry Lawler’s “Horny Old Man” act. Particularily when it’s done in recent years.

  37. Cinammon Ghetto Wheels. Fo Yo Little Gangsta says:

    I remember the excuse WWF came up with for Rob Bartlett’s sudden “disappearance”.

    He got lost in Vegas.

    Good old classic heavy kayfabe “lie about what happened to crap commentators” WWF.

    Memories.

    • Art0Donnell says:

      Sadly, Bartlett was back the next week.
      http://art0donnell.blogspot.com/2012/08/raw-12-april-12th-1993.html

  38. hofeizai says:

    I thought Joey styles was amazing as a commentator. If you were listening, you really felt he cared about what he was seeing, and that it was important. Than he got paired with Cyrus, and we had them bickering while a match happened. That’s an amazing level of anti-talent

  39. JimbolianJimJimbJolianbJiSmbJimJim says:

    OH, can’t forget our boy Mongo McMichael!

  40. TMS says:

    1980′s Vince McMahon. “1, 2, 3! He got him! Oh, no he didn’t.” It’s funny to listen to him calling matches back then, cheering on the faces, knowing what that he would evolve into Mr. McMahon, who threw all his energy into making the lives of the faces hell.

    But really every commentary team that’s not Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan is not worth their soon-to-be-destroyed breakaway commentary table.

  41. Greg says:

    Mongo and Mark Madden. Oh, god, were they terribad in every way.

  42. Raven7309 says:

    You know what? I actually enjoyed Mark Madden during his time in WCW. He was a nice contrast from Tony Schiavone and Scott Hudson. He just seemed to me to be a guy who knew that he wasn’t the greatest, but he was having fun nevertheless.
    For worst colour commentator, I’d definitely have to go with Jerry Lawler from his debut in WWE up until JR’s retirement from full-time play-by-play. Lawler’s early attempts at comedy were a piss-poor imitation of what the Brain had done prior, and over time, Lawler’s “dirty old man” schtick just got sadder and more pathetic.

  43. Ben says:

    I have a problem when a commentator, whether he’s calling the match properly or not, has no emotion in his voice about what’s going on in the ring. This is why I never cared for Scott Hudson or Bob Caudle.

    I also have to say I can’t stand JBL and Michael Cole when they’re together on commentary. Separately, I have no problem with either, but when they’re together, it seems that all they do is bicker, argue, and insult one another…at the expense of the match.

    And finally, showing my age, David Webb from the Global Wrestling Federation, after he was attacked by Manny Fernandez and thought he was Elvis!

  44. RunLefty says:

    In my opinion, Jerry the King Lawler is horrible. He is not funny, he does not narrate a in ring story, and he seems to crap on whoever is sitting next to him. When JR was there he would get out of the way and let JR put over (certain) superstars. Lawler shows up in a pair of sweats, a bedazzled shirt and matching crown and his constant put downs and zingers kill any momentum Cole tries to build. Cole came in as second rate to JR and the King has never let him forget it. I think Cole could have a chance to succeed if they would pair him up with someone that would show him mutual respect and could play off Cole instead of one-upping him.

  45. Alan says:

    Mark Madden by far. “Honorable” mentions go to “Superstar” Billy Graham and Don West. They actually covered the commentary run of Graham on his DVD entitled “20 Years Too Soon”. He himself even admits that he was awful. His color commentary at Summerslam ’88 was horrible. His repeating of Hogan as “The man with the bionic biceps” was beyond irritating.

  46. TTMMTMTM says:

    Dick Graham who used to do the old Spectrum show was horrible, hollering for no reason except to oook excited…

  47. Andy J says:

    I really hate to say it as he was an awesome wrestler and God rest him but I have REALLY bad memories of Randy Savage doing commentary on Raw around 1993-94 sort of time when I was growing up. He just seemed to be talking about completely random stuff and not paying any attention to the match half the time, especially towards the end of his run (could be he was just winding down time before he could go to WCW and wrestle again I wonder?)

    Other than that, can’t disagree with Mooney or Pettengill, they were both so bad they actually made Tony Schiavone look good by comparison (did Stephanie Wiand ever do commentary? If so, she definitely deserves a dishonourable mention)

  48. Thomas Moffatt says:

    MIchael Cole – lead announcer, I know, but as a face or as a heel I find him simply unbearable as either – to be fair though he did help people to hate The Miz as a heel…

  49. AdamX says:

    I still stand by the team of Lita/Coachman from Heat as possibly the worst ever.

  50. Dan Sheldon says:

    Mario Savaldi and Dirty Dutch Mantell for IWA out of Puerto Rico. Hands down!

  51. twilite_rider says:

    YOu know as much as all of you hate Cole, you have to give the guy props. He does his job very good whether you like him or hate him. To get that kind of reaction out of everyone? He must be doing something right.

    Call me crazy or nutty or whatever but I had a problem with JBL commentating. I hated his drawl. I’m sure he was spot on about everything but he talked too slow in my opinion and his voice just grated on my nerves.

  52. Matthew Hooker says:

    For Me, it’s a toss-up between Mark Madden and Michael Cole. Both of them were
    brought in as replacements for Bobby “The Brain” Heenan and Jim Ross. They both
    came from Radio and they don’t/did’t care about what was going in the ring. They
    both put themselves over and can’t get help sell a show/PPV or make you want to
    watch. What makes MC different from MM is that Vince Mcmahon is telling him what
    to say through the earplug he’s got. Also, if a backstage skit is bombing MC will
    burst into canned laughter like it was the funniest thing ever. MM was brought into
    WCW because Bobby Heenan had a drinking problem which affected his commentary.

  53. DH says:

    It’s been 9 months since this question was posed. Yes, it took me this long to formulate not just an opinion, but the scientifically accurate answer. First, a few runners-up:
    1) Maddox. For being so bland and forgettable. I truthfully can’t think of one thing he’s ever said or talked about. In fact…wait, who am I talking about? Have I started? Sorry, let’s start.
    1)Lord Al Hays. His annoying accent. His wrinkled, schlubby tuxedos. His shrill, inopportune laugh. His Milton Berle-like Johnson. So many reasons to dislike His Lordship.
    2)Joel Watts. In all seriousness, I’ve met Joel, and he may be the nicest guy ever in the wrestling business. It couldn’t have been easy growing up as nerdy beanpole when your dad was Cowboy Bill Watts. That being said, listening to him do “color” next to Jim Ross on old MidSouth shows is not easy. Everytime he gets excited, which is way too often, the words suddenly start coming out wrong and the voice breaks and cracks like a kid entering puberty.

    Winner: Duh. David Crockett, of course. Why? 3 very good reasons:
    1)”Look at ‘eem, Tony!”
    2)”Tony, Tony…look at ‘eem.”
    3)”Look, Tony, looook! Loook aaaat ‘eeeeem, Tony!!!!!”

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