Curtain Jerker, 2/1/13: Gooker Fallout

37 Submitted by on Fri, 01 February 2013, 08:00

clairegookerslide

 

So Claire Lynch and her oak-thick acting took home the 2012 Gooker Award. But is it what YOU voted for? Hell, if you listened to the RD and Blade Show, you know I didn’t, and I’ve already expressed my displeasure with you folks that chose Claire over Daniel Bryan’s “Gone in 18 Seconds”.

So what DID you vote for? And in addition, why did you make that choice? Let’s hear you defend your pick, and let’s put the 2012 Gooker voting to rest with one last look at a year with plenty of crappy choices.

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Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)
37 Responses to "Curtain Jerker, 2/1/13: Gooker Fallout"
  1. Frank says:

    Zack Ryder, that guy got screwed so badly. Now he can’t even win a Gooker Award. Poor Zack.

  2. The Gold Standard says:

    I personally think RD missed the boat by not including the horrible overuse of social media by the WWE….The One Man Band vs. the legends…..or People Power.

    • 80sGuy says:

      One Man Band vs. the Legends? Are you serious?

      That was entertaining, and showcased Slater enough to garner interest. It brought back some legends we hadn’t seen in a long time and was actually a nice little program for all involved.

      In no way would that amount to “crap”.

  3. RD Reynolds says:

    Won’t lie, I voted for Claire. All the nominees were horrendous, but that one was especially so.

  4. JR says:

    I will never understand the continued whining over Daniel Bryan’s WrestleMania squash considering this simple fact: he was an insufferable heel and in terms of a storyline got what was coming to him.

    That being said, the only thing in 2012 worst than the Clair Lynch deal was perhaps every thing Jim Cornette booked for Ring of Honor

    • Down With OPC says:

      The only argument I have for that one is that they could have done the same thing that night in the Show/Rhodes match, with Show immediately knocking out Cody with the WMD.

    • Sharpe Puppy says:

      Agreed on Cornette. I’m shocked Ring of Honor didn’t win the WON worst company award because of his shit.

    • hobu0 says:

      I PAID a ton of cash to see a good match between Daniel Bryan and Sheamus. I was really, really looking forward to that match. Yes, Bryan deserved to get his ass kicked in storyline terms, but I fucking PAID MONEY to see a match at Wrestlemania, not a goddamned squash. So don’t give me some smart ass, condescending “i don’t understand why everyone is whining” bullshit.

      • Walter Kovacs says:

        This.

        The previous year, both Sheamus and Bryan were supposed to have a match, and were left off the card. Not just bumped to the pre-show, but having that match turned into a battle royal instead.

        The very initial anger about the match was that it was one of the selling points of the show, and it didn’t happen. The reason to have someone like Rock on the show is to get eyes on the rest of the product. Rock being Cena (or vice versa) isn’t really helping anyone. But showing off someone like Punk or Bryan to people that are only buying the show for the Rock, that is a great opportunity. And the person a lot of people wanted to see wrestle, didn’t get to. Which would be the reason that for about a month solid, the audience VERY loudly chanted for Bryan not just when Bryan or Sheamus were around, but during completely unrelated matches.

        The long term outcome, of making Bryan a much bigger star than he was before may have worked out, but it was a very bad move. Bryan wasn’t an insufferable heel … he was someone people wanted to see compete. And they squashed him in 18 seconds to a guy who had ZERO build since the Rumble.

  5. Peter Santellan says:

    I voted the Claire Lynch angle. Nothing made me want to change the channel as much as that, and at the very least, I didn’t blow $55 to see Bryan get “18 seconded.”

  6. Brandon says:

    I voted for Daniel Bryan’s 18 seconds. It was bad enough that him and Sheamus got bumped to the pre-show of WrestleMania 27. Then they get to 28, and its for the world title. They open the show, and it gets all of 18 seconds. What a way to reward 2 of your hardest workers, E.

  7. Dangerous Dave says:

    I voted for the “Natalya and her amazing flatulence” angle. I hate it when talented performers get saddled with angles and gimmicks that seem to serve no purpose but to humiliate them.

    Whoever suggested that Terry Taylor become the Red Rooster, I’m looking at you!

    • 80sGuy says:

      Hey, not so fast. I liked the Red Rooster.

      Hell, I’d sport a Rooster shirt frequently and proudly if I could find a fairly inexpensive one.

  8. patricko says:

    pregnant crack whore… it’s a license to print money!

    I voted for it.

    Natalya – flatulence – have to say I never witnessed it.
    18 second championship match at Mania – inexplicable, but was 18 seconds out of your life.

    Clare lasted… several life times. week after week, for too long, with no logical satisfying pay off, and… was abruptly stopped. nothing else on the list of possibles for 2012 had that much screen time, or was that piss-poorly executed.

    It made Cactus Jack – Lost in Cleveland look like the finest of episodic television….

  9. Spaz Monkey says:

    I voted for Ryder.

    The Claire Lynch storyline was horrendous, no doubt, but it led to awesome matches with Daniels, Kaz, AJ, and Kurt.

    Ryder’s un-push was unconscionably bad for one main reason: For years and years now, we’ve heard from Vince that WWE Superstars need to work to get themselves over. Ryder did exactly that, and Vince absolutely destroyed him for doing so. His booking was specifically designed to get the fans to stop cheering for him.
    If that isn’t worthy of a Gooker, then perhaps Vince deserves The Consumerist’s Golden Turd award for being such an incredibly bad boss.

  10. Cobra says:

    I’m glad that Daniel Bryan 18 second match didn’t win because that would have been the shortest most boringest write up of any gooker winners.

  11. John Nelson says:

    Voted for AJ.

    No not Styles- the jailbait looking diva who came out of nowhere, got internet attention for being linked with Daniel Bryan and whored around with everyone on the roster-and who the internet scarily cannot get enough of for reasons I will not understand.

  12. IC says:

    Bryan and the 18 second match should not have ever been nominated.
    The backlash from that made him even more over with the “YES” chants.
    Wrestlemania is not about just having long-ass matches with “workrate” anymore.
    If you want that, watch Extreme Rules, which had an awesome Sheamus/Bryan rematch and was easily the PPV of the year.

    • Justin Henry says:

      you’re going to be really mad when I induct it, then.

      • IC says:

        Just don’t see a point.
        The arrogant heel got his comeuppance and lost his belt.
        This, in turn, made him an even bigger star in the company, and led to t-shirts, a renewed push, a long tag title reign, and a very popular catchphrase.
        On top of that, he had a MOTY candidate with the same guy the next month and is still more over than most in the company.
        Yeah, really sounds worthy of an induction there, guy.

        • Justin Henry says:

          Consider the effect it had on the rest of the show. Many fans were so angered with what happened (both in the stadium and watching at home), that it affected a lot of interest/potential joy for other matches. The crowd didn’t pick up again in a positive way until HHH/Taker.

          It was the fact that Sheamus, Bryan, and others had allegedly tried to get the finish changed throughout the day, but to no avail. The short-sightedness of it is indicative of a serious problem in booking/creative if they thought everyone would be happy to see Bryan die so quickly.

          They took an uncalculated risk because Vince, or Dunn or whoever, didn’t understand the implications, and it nearly ruined the vibe of the biggest show of the year, one that costs $65 to order.

          That, my friend, is Crap.

          • Walter Kovacs says:

            I agree that it was a horrible decision … but in terms of Wrestlecrap, there isn’t much ‘there there’. They pissed away a great chance of showing off one of their best talents to a captive audience of people there to see the Rock, and ended up killing the crowd for half of Wrestlemania. So while it was very upsetting, it wasn’t particularly funny, and I just don’t see how it would turn into a good Wrestlecrap induction. It was a stupid move that, thanks to the backlash, led to Bryan reaching greater heights … but just like the match itself, it’s way too short to do anything with.

            Claire was horrible, but it also went on for a long time and is just flat out hilarious. Even if it wasn’t the actual worst thing to happen, it’s definitely better fodder for induction. While the “worst movie ever made” may not actually be Birdemic or the Room … those are hilarious compared to what might ‘technically’ be worse than them, but not in a way that is amusing to dissect and riff on.

  13. James Mitchell says:

    Voted for Crack Baby Claire!

  14. Down With OPC says:

    Two main reasons I voted for Clair:

    A) Though the Daniel Bryan thing was awful, I think he has fared better since, and it even got the “YES!” chant really over. I feel he has made out better than that time Christian jobbed to Orton.

    B) As I said in the other thread…Clair Lynch feels to me like she is Kane and Katie Vick’s child had she not been killed in that car wreck with Katie. Anything that makes you think of Katie Vick is already ripe for the crappings.

  15. Scott Hurley says:

    I voted for Crack Hoe Claire cuz it wasted weeks of our time. With no worthwhile ending. At least Bryan losing in 18 sec gave us the awesome 2/3 falls match at extreme rules. And also gave us anger management and thus team hell no. Which is awesome

  16. Rose Harmon says:

    I voted for the many loves of A.J. Lee. WWE takes an interesting, unique female wrestler and makes her look like an idiot and a slut.

  17. Rob Brown says:

    I did think about voting for the 18 second loss instead of Claire Lynch, but here’s what ultimately made me vote for Claire:

    As infuriated as I was that WWE would choose to make Bryan look so weak, at least they only did so for that one night. And then they started booking him to look more credible by giving him an actual competetive match against Sheamus, followed by title shots against Punk.

    Now, you may not like him being in Team Hell No when he ought to be main eventing, and I can’t entirely disagree. As entertaining as him and Kane have been together, what Bryan really deserves is another world title run.

    That being said, he was eventually going to lose the WHC no matter what. If he and Sheamus had been given 10-20 minutes at WrestleMania instead of 10-20 seconds, not much would have changed. Bryan would still got his rematch, and then moved on to what WWE had planned for him after he didn’t have the belt.

    The Claire Lynch angle wasn’t just TNA being horrible for one night, it was TNA being horrible for MONTHS, and every Impact that the angle was featured on suffered for it.

    IMHO, in order for something to be truly Gooker-worthy it needs to drag out and make wrestling fans suffer (or at least roll their eyes) for a long time. That’s what the InVasion did, that’s what Chavo/Hornswoggle did, that’s what Katie Vick did, that’s what Mike Adamle did, that’s what TNA’s attempt at rekindling the Monday Night Wars did, etc.

  18. Peter says:

    Well, like I said on the Gooker post I voted for Daniel Bryan as well. I’ll defend my pick by saying that I’m tired of WWE taking something that is hot and squashing it just because it doesn’t fit into their plans. Daniel Bryan became the World Champion because that’s what a lot of fans wanted to see. Once he became champ he was so happy he started the YES chant and it caught on, and rightfully so, it’s great and makes sense. However, Daniel Bryan’s World title reign wasn’t really that spectacular. Instead of being used as a giant killer and a credible champion, he was made a wimp heel, using AJ and other cheating tactics to hold onto his belt. Then the WrestleMania match happened with Sheamus and that was that. He really hasn’t sniffed the World title scene since, instead he’s in a comedy tag team with Kane.

    But my point is that Daniel Bryan isn’t a typical guy that WWE would push to the moon. He’s a great wrestler but he’s small. That didn’t stop him from getting over. But WWE didn’t care. Sheamus is a guy they like so they gave him the title instead. I have no problem with Sheamus, but in my eyes D. Bryan has him beat in every category except size. It didn’t really scream “Gooker” like the Claire Lynch angle did, but remembering Daniel Bryan’s title reign and how it could’ve been so much better than it was motivated me enough to vote for it.

  19. Shawn Doc Girt says:

    i voted the Claire Lynch storyline simply becuz it waz dumb to begin with. plus this whole wrestler knockx up some female angle haz been done to DEATH!

  20. MrMaddog says:

    Bryan/Seamus squash match: 18 seconds

    Claire Lynch angle: Stretched out for months

    Now which of the two you think were more sufferable for the viewers?

  21. Ashley Smith says:

    I voted for Bryan too. If only because Daniel Bryan has his FIRST onscreen fight at wrestlemania (after his last match was relugated to a dark match) and he wasn’t even allowed any offence. It was like the creative team cared too much about giving the spotlight on it’s past stars (HHH-Undertaker, Rock-Cena) to give a damn about promoting it’s future. Now I’m paranoid he’s gonna get screwed over anytime he’s in a PPV.

    It also made the winner, Sheamus, look bad. His last two titles were won in circumstances that either looked flukish (Tables match vs Cena, TLC 2009), or cheating (When Nexus intervened at fatal-4-way 2010). After being lost in the midcard for about a year, he turns face, wins the Royal Rumble and looks set to have a legitimate, hard-fought win…and again they made him look lucky (and an asshole) because Bryan was distracted.

    I get they were trying to build him up as an unstoppable force, and I knew Bryan wasn’t going to win, but it just a big insult to the fans.

  22. Peter Dawson says:

    it was hard to decide really. Aces & Eights has been incredibly lame but I never thought it was Gooker worthy, really, since something usually needs to stand out about it, at least for me. It can’t just suck, it has to be a giant disservice to wrestling for years to come, a warning to all who follow.

    Ryder suffered a bad burial, but that’s really nothing more than amazing booking failure, and more of WWE not putting over the young guy in his 20s with plenty of years left but instead of Son Cena, the lost Saiyan. Now the verbal tongue-lashing Cena gave Eve during the event, well, that was possibly Gooker worthy, but…

    Bryan’s loss I didn’t think really needed to be addressed since the reaction was immediate. Bryan still sadly jobs a lot and the only title he’s held since has been the tag title, but people sure as hell aren’t ignoring him. WWE has learned (somewhat), which is why it really wasn’t Gooker worthy.

    Farting Natalya… Maybe if it hadn’t died so damn fast. Honestly Natalya’s burial in general would be a good piece, but the problem is a shitload of talented people constantly get buried, so yeah.

    AJ being looser than a pair of oversized slip-on shoes being worn by a guy with waxed feet was weird, but damn if she didn’t sell the hell out of it. Yeah comparing her to Lita is really not accurate but hey, she’s still more appealing than any other Diva currently active now that all the ones with talent are running for the hills (except Natalya, and why the hell she isn’t, dunno).

    Claire Lynch was made to be a Gooker winner: it started with a stupid angle that kept going, then they pulled a really stupid swerve that they thought was brilliant TV only to suck ass in the ratings, and then finally it got to the point the actress quit, basically having an angle that dragged on and on only to be abandoned faster than Newt Gingrich bailing on one of his sick wives.

  23. Alan says:

    I voted for AJ.

  24. Thomas Moffatt says:

    I would have voted for Hornswoggle being revealed as the anonymous RAW GM – it could have been done well i.e. NIpple H because she has a massive ego and her charcter has continually tried to seize control of WWE also reveal her as being behind the Nexus and the Walkout (it feels right with her in the thick of all the shit) leaving Triple H confused but Nips advised she did it because she is a McMahon and business is business but NO WWE decide to ram the ever pointless and completely annoying Hornswoggle down everyones throats. To play on the wordss of JR, Hornswoggle is a stain on the underwear of life…

  25. Phil Melcher says:

    I voted for the Zack Ryder de-pushing angle. He was not only jobbing out to Kane but to Eve Torres as well. Ryder did just that, he got himself over using social media WWE took notice and then depushed him so far down the ladder it’s not funny. Zack’s a good company man who is fan friendly and certainly doesn’t have 2 strikes against him unlike some Superstars being pushed higher with far less to offer Sports Entertainmentwise.

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