Impact Wrestling Presents

THROW MICKIE FROM THE TRAIN!

Or into a train.  Whatever, it wasn’t moving.

NEW INDUCTION!

He’s got a resume.

He’s got a letter of recommendation.

Now it’s time for Kane to update his LinkedIn page.

“We’re gonna make this a tag team match, playa!”

Wait, sorry, it’s a wedding.

And it’s our newest induction!

Brock Lesnar is going to be competing at UFC 200 and his opponent will be…

Oh no.

Tell Brother Nero to read all about it in Headlies.

Get your face palms at the ready!

The legendary BUNGEE CORD MATCH is FINALLY inducted!

Say it ain’t so, Cap!

It’s the heel turn that everyone is talking about and it’s only in Headlies!

Fighting off the what???

Step into the asylum in our latest induction!

WrestleCrap is YOUR Home for all things Matt v. Jeff, including over an hour of VIDEO breaking down every second of this comic tragedy!

Well, howdy, sugah!

Dixie Carter wants you to have a taste of her pie and you can only get it in Headlies!

Crockett and Tubbs vs. Albano and Afa!

MIAMI VICE IS LACED WITH A LETHAL INJECTION OF PRO WRESTLING…and it’s INDUCTED!

Rusev campaigns, Rusev wins!

The Bulgarian Brute is about to become the Brazilian Brute in an all-new Headlie.

Pierre the Hardcore Reindeer had a Taxidermied Nose

And if you ever saw him, you could even say he blows!

NEW INDUCTION!

Enzo Amore is “Lost In Seaside Heights”!

Bada-bing, bada-boom, read a new Headlie to find out what’s going on with the realest guy in the room.

Cue up the pyro and ballyhoo!

The Menagerie is here…and they are INDUCTED!

  • Roman Reigns Channels Inner Honky Tonk Man, Asks Fans for "Vote of Confidence"
  • PopTV to Replace Impact with Commercials for Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute; "Hauntingly Beautiful" Reps Note
  • Lesner's Plan to Defeat UFC 200 Foe: Infuriate Him By Repeatedly Calling Him "Mike", Not "Mark"
  • RUMOR: Brock Lesnar Opponent at UFC to Be Ken Shamrock. Or Maybe Kama. Tank Abbot, Perhaps.
  • Matt and Jeff Hardy Shockingly Found To Be In Condition To Work
All The Latest Crap!

The Further Adventures of El Santa Claus: The Battle With Pitch Was Just the Beginning!

6 Submitted by on Thu, 24 December 2015, 08:12
Short Films, Late 1950’s/Early 1960’s Text by RD Reynolds It feels so weird to think that this induction I am penning tonight is the last new one to ever be featured on what is soon to be the old version of WrestleCrap.com. But in many ways, it is only appropriate that we end it this way. After all, I’m pretty sure Continue Reading...
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CLASSIC INDUCTION: The Star Wars Holiday Special – Welcome to the Dark Side

19 Submitted by on Thu, 24 December 2015, 08:10
Television Special, 1978 Note from RD: As you can probably surmise from the title, this has nothing to do with wrestling. But since reviewing bad Christmas movies has become a holiday tradition here at the Crap, I thought there was nothing more appropriate to cover than this stinkbomb from the late 70’s. Enjoy! November 17, 1978 is a date that Continue Reading...
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CLASSIC INDUCTION: He-Man Christmas – We Wish You a Merry Atheist Day and a Happy New Year

9 Submitted by on Thu, 24 December 2015, 08:07
Cartoon, 1985 Text by Blade Braxton It’s no secret to listeners of Wrestlecrap Radio, that I am a huge fan of the original He-Man and Masters Of The Universe cartoon. I regard the original set of episodes as some of the best cartoons of the 1980’s. The abomination you’re about to see today however, is quite different. Straying far away from Continue Reading...
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CLASSIC INDUCTION: Babes in Toyland – Georgy Porgie Puddin’ Pie, Shows RD His Cameltoe and Makes Him Cry

6 Submitted by on Thu, 24 December 2015, 08:06
Theatrical Motion Picture, 1986 Special Note from RD: This is yet another trek down memory lane, as I take a look at one of the worst holiday movies ever made. This has nothing to do with wrestling, but in the spirit of the season, I thought it might be fun to cover. If you just want wrestling, hit the back Continue Reading...
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Induction: An American Christmas Carol – Sit On It, Marley!

59 Submitted by on Thu, 24 December 2015, 08:05
  Made for TV Movie, 1979 Not sure I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m an absolute fanatic when it comes to A Christmas Carol.  I love the book, but it’s other adaptations of it that really get my chestnuts roasting. Which sounds simultaneously lewd and painful. Anyhoo, I absolutely devour movies featuring the yuletide antics of one Ebenezer Scrooge. It’s Continue Reading...
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INDUCTION: WWF Christmas Party 2001: They Sure Don’t Have Parties Like THIS Anymore!

11 Submitted by on Thu, 24 December 2015, 08:03
WWF, 2001 Text by RD Reynolds Office Christmas parties ain’t what they used to be. While I was never privy to the insanity that apparently took place back in the 70’s (according to TV and film, those things had everything from guys xeroxing their anuses to drugs to orgies to guys xeroxing their anuses with drugs while having an orgie), I Continue Reading...
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CLASSIC INDUCTION: Santa’s Slay – Yes, Virginia – Goldberg is Santa Claus!

9 Submitted by on Thu, 24 December 2015, 08:02
Movie, 2005  Hey, remember Bill Goldberg? Sure you do. The guy tore through WCW during its boom period, and were it not for the noodle heads running the company at the time, would likely have led them to even greater heights. He had that weird mix of charisma and intensity that made up for his lack of technical prowess inside Continue Reading...
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INDUCTION: Santa Buddies: You Wouldn’t Think Puppies Could Suck the Joy Out of Christmas

8 Submitted by on Thu, 24 December 2015, 08:01
Direct to Hell DVD Release, 2009 Text by RD Reynolds Mrs. Deal: “Let me see if I got this right: you’re going to make fun of a kids’ Christmas movie starring puppies. What is wrong with you?” Oh no…no no no, Mrs. Deal. Don’t you dare paint me as the villain here. I didn’t make this movie. I didn’t make this horrible, horrendous, Continue Reading...
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WrestleCrap Radio – Episode 257!

5 Submitted by on Wed, 23 December 2015, 23:53
It’s the annual WrestleCrap Radio Christmas episode!  Gifts are exchanged, Christmas memories are needlessly brought back, and more!  Plus SPOILER ALERT – more Star Wars Episode 7 talk than you can shake a space slug at! Listen to the show below, by subscribing on Stitcher or iTunes, or by clicking here!...
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It Came From YouTube: Shockmaster Claus is here to read us a Christmas story!

1 Submitted by on Wed, 23 December 2015, 15:00
Crapper Sean Bateman sent in this video of Fred Ottman as The Shockmaster… or should I say as Shockmaster Claus reading “‘Twas The Night Before Christmas” to a bunch of snotty-nosed little ankle-biters. Why did WCW have him do this, you ask? I don’t know. I do know that Fred is a really nice guy (and I’m not just saying that Continue Reading...
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Someone Bought This: WCW Bash At The Beach 1998 shirt featuring the mighty RODZILLA!

4 Submitted by on Tue, 22 December 2015, 02:00
Here’s a WCW/NWO Bash At The Beach 1998 shirt. It’s kind of weird that it doesn’t say the name of the Pay-Per-View event on the front anywhere. Hey, it’s Dennis Rodman! Remember him? He was so wacky! And a bad boy. A wacky bad boy. With funny colored hair. Oh yeah, and I guess he played basketball or something too. Continue Reading...
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Headlies: Dixie Carter Gives Santa Her Wishlist

6 Submitted by on Mon, 21 December 2015, 08:00
Dallas, TX – On December 20th, TNA President Dixie Carter went to the Galleria Dallas to meet her hero Santa Claus and give him her wishlist. A determined Carter power-walked through the mall, forgoing stops at her favorite stores Forever 21, Godiva, and Spencer’s Gifts to reach Santa. Unphased by the long line, Dixie shoved her way through the crowd Continue Reading...
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It Came From YouTube: Merry Trishmas!

1 Submitted by on Sun, 20 December 2015, 15:00
Crapper Sean Bateman sent this in as a Holiday gift to all Crappers (but mostly R.D…). It’s the love or R.D’s life* “Patty” (or Trish Stratus to you and I!) in a commercial for Canada’s TSN SportsCentre where she carries one of the hosts off after getting her as his Christmas present (?!). Personally, I’d rather have a nice hot plate Continue Reading...
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INDUCTION: Jingle All the Way & Jingle All the Way 2 – We Watched Them Both And Didn’t Hear “It’s Not a Tumor” or “Get ‘Er Done” Even Once

64 Submitted by on Sun, 20 December 2015, 15:00
Ah December…the time we get to take a break from writing about horrible wrestling and instead go dumpster diving into the world of horrible Christmas movies!  We’ve been doing this I believe since year one at WrestleCrap, so there ain’t no stopping us now.  And this year, you get a double dose, as we do a two-fer-one with myself and Continue Reading...
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Someone Bought This: Hulk Hogan Commodore magazine cover

2 Submitted by on Sun, 20 December 2015, 02:00
Look what I found on this Commodore 64 website. It’s a a Commodore magazine featuring Hulk Hogan and The Blues Brothers strangling Bart Simpson. Maybe they picked up some strangling tips from Homer? Or maybe The Blues Brothers are trying to save Bart from Hulk’s clutches? Someone needs to make a Bart and The Blues Brothers vs. Hulk Hogan and Man Continue Reading...
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It Came From YouTube: “O Sycho Sid”

6 Submitted by on Sat, 19 December 2015, 15:37
Crapper Paul S. writes: Here’s a church choir singing a Christmas Song about Sid killing people. Also look for the Freddie Blassie cameo at the end. You know, I was having a pretty lousy day until this submission from Paul came in and it seriously cheered me right up! A beautiful choir singing a timeless traditional Christmas song with new lyrics Continue Reading...
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CLASSIC INDUCTION: Christmas Comes to Pac-Land: The Cartoon That Will Make You Hate Pac-Man AND Santa

11 Submitted by on Sat, 19 December 2015, 12:01
ABC Cartoon, 1982 Text by RD Reynolds Standard December Disclaimer: Every year, I take a week away from doing wrestling inductions to review the very worst of Christmas movies and specials. And this is that week! I do hope you enjoy a very special, and very horrible, Christmas Comes to Pac-Land! As anyone who has read this site for, oh, 90 Continue Reading...
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CLASSIC INDUCTION: Silent Night Bloody Night – Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, How Lovely is Your Barbed Wire

8 Submitted by on Fri, 18 December 2015, 19:12
TNA, 2007 Text by RD Reynolds Confession time here at the Crap.  Last year during the Gooker Award voting, I was concerned. No, more than that, I was scared, mortified, almost, at what appeared to be an inevitability: a TNA angle was going to win WrestleCrap’s biggest (and by biggest I do mean ‘only’) award. The storyline was the Robert Roode-Traci Continue Reading...
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It Came From YouTube: The Fink loves the new, weird Undertaker figure!

7 Submitted by on Fri, 18 December 2015, 13:26
Howard Finked talks about the new Mattel Undertaker Defining Moments action figure (buy it through this link and help support the site, Crappers!) and I have some random thoughts: Fink could read the phone book and sound awesome doing it. I can’t believe they’re celebrating 25 years of The Undertaker by releasing a figure commemorating how he looked in a very forgettable, heatless Continue Reading...
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INDUCTION: Back to the Future Christmas – Great Scott! This Show Sucks!

23 Submitted by on Thu, 17 December 2015, 20:00
Cartoon, 1992 Note from RD: It’s that time of year again – CHRISTMAS!  As is the tradition around these parts, my last induction of the year prior to Christmas is always a non-wrestling one that focuses on a terrible Christmas movie or TV special.  Take a break from awful wrestling with an awful yule log instead! As I write this, I am Continue Reading...
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It Came From YouTube: Bryan & Vinny recap TNA’s Silent Night, Bloody Night match!

1 Submitted by on Thu, 17 December 2015, 15:00
Crapper Paul S. writes: Gather around and grab some cocoa as Bryan Alvarez and Vince Verhie discuss the infamous TNA Christmas show from 2007. Specifically the “Silent Night: Deadly Night” match featuring a tree made of barbed wire! A new holiday classic! I love Bryan’s recap of this match so much! Is it any wonder why R.D inducted this? What Continue Reading...
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