Brock Lesnar is going to be competing at UFC 200 and his opponent will be…

Oh no.

Tell Brother Nero to read all about it in Headlies.

Get your face palms at the ready!

The legendary BUNGEE CORD MATCH is FINALLY inducted!

Say it ain’t so, Cap!

It’s the heel turn that everyone is talking about and it’s only in Headlies!

Fighting off the what???

Step into the asylum in our latest induction!

WrestleCrap is YOUR Home for all things Matt v. Jeff, including over an hour of VIDEO breaking down every second of this comic tragedy!

Well, howdy, sugah!

Dixie Carter wants you to have a taste of her pie and you can only get it in Headlies!

Crockett and Tubbs vs. Albano and Afa!

MIAMI VICE IS LACED WITH A LETHAL INJECTION OF PRO WRESTLING…and it’s INDUCTED!

Rusev campaigns, Rusev wins!

The Bulgarian Brute is about to become the Brazilian Brute in an all-new Headlie.

Pierre the Hardcore Reindeer had a Taxidermied Nose

And if you ever saw him, you could even say he blows!

NEW INDUCTION!

Enzo Amore is “Lost In Seaside Heights”!

Bada-bing, bada-boom, read a new Headlie to find out what’s going on with the realest guy in the room.

Cue up the pyro and ballyhoo!

The Menagerie is here…and they are INDUCTED!

Cena vs. Cole!

Dave Meltzer may have given it *****, but we sure didn’t!

(And no, Dave did not give it *****.  But we gave it a NEW Induction!)

The very first WWF video game ever is inducted…

…and we bet you don’t know what it actually is!

Up is down, black is white, and losses now count as wins according to Vince McMahon.

Fall down the rabbit hole into this week’s Headlie.

It’s everyone’s favorite Attitude-era medical technician named after the wife of a US President!

Barbara Bush…INDUCTED!

WrestleCrap.com is saddened to hear of the passing of Joanie “Chyna” Laurer.

For details, please click through.

When The Authority left for vacation, they thought they remembered to bring everything.

They were wrong.

Dance on over to Headlies to find out what they forgot.

 

A Million Dollar Doink and a Cross-Eyed Warrior!

Where is Randy Savage to Give Us an “OH YEAH”?

The Worst WWF Magazine Covers of the 1990s…INDUCTED!

Sure, Booty O’s ensure that you ain’t booty, but can they help you run faster and jump higher?

Dust off your microscopes for a brand-new Headlie!

Hey, Champ! You did it! You correctly predicted all the Wrestlemania winners!

Go to Headlies for your prize!

Vince rides a ring cart on the road to Wrestlemania!

Read all about it in Headlies.

A year of Roman Reigns hi-jinks too insane for this world!

Wrestlecrap travels to a parallel universe for a special induction.

It’s the WrestleCrap Radio WrestleMani…no, actually it’s not.

It’s WrestleCrap Radio – AMERICAN TOP 40 STYLE!!

Keep your feet on the ground and get to clicking!!

Like Michael Jackson and Al Jolson?

Then Roddy Piper has the WrestleMania Match for You!

The very infamous Roddy Piper-Bad News Brown feud…INDUCTED!

  • PopTV to Replace Impact with Commercials for Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute; "Hauntingly Beautiful" Reps Note
  • Lesner's Plan to Defeat UFC 200 Foe: Infuriate Him By Repeatedly Calling Him "Mike", Not "Mark"
  • RUMOR: Brock Lesnar Opponent at UFC to Be Ken Shamrock. Or Maybe Kama. Tank Abbot, Perhaps.
  • Matt and Jeff Hardy Shockingly Found To Be In Condition To Work
  • Goldberg Added to WWE 2K17, "Ability to Remove Goldust Wig" To Be Future DLC
All The Latest Crap!

Headlies: MAN ACCUSED OF STALKING TAMINA ORDERED TO GET NEW PRESCRIPTION GLASSES / “CM PUNK’S CURRENT WWE TITLE REIGN IS THE GREATEST EVER!” ACCORDING TO INCLUSIVE POLL

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 12:13
Text by Justin Henry, RD Reynolds, and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here MAN ACCUSED OF STALKING TAMINA ORDERED TO GET NEW PRESCRIPTION GLASSES By Justin Henry Reading, PA – A widowed former postal clerk has been ordered in a Berks County court to not only stop stalking a particularly Continue Reading...
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Headlies: HILARIOUS HEY DUDE EPISODE CAUSES JOSH MATHEWS TO LAUGH UNCONTROLLABLY WHILE RECORDING SMACKDOWN / FAN UPLOADS ENTIRE 1999 EPISODES OF WCW SATURDAY NIGHT, “DOESN’T MIND” CREEPY MESSAGES FROM OTHER FANS

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 12:11
HILARIOUS HEY DUDE EPISODE CAUSES JOSH MATHEWS TO LAUGH UNCONTROLLABLY WHILE RECORDING SMACKDOWN By Justin Henry Philadelphia, PA – Things got a little carried away at this week’s Smackdown tapings in the city of Brotherly Love. Josh Mathews, a WWE announcer long regarded for his professionalism and genuine love of his work, was unable to keep his composure during a Continue Reading...
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Headlies: RANDY ORTON ASKS TO BORROW “HEAT MACHINE” FOR USE IN DAILY LIFE / MATHEMATICIAN DEVELOPS “PWTORCH / TNA MATCH RATING SHORTCHANGE THEOREM”

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 12:10
RANDY ORTON ASKS TO BORROW “HEAT MACHINE” FOR USE IN DAILY LIFE By Justin Henry St. Louis, MO – Former eight time World Champion Randy Orton hasn’t always been the most popular of champions, as WWE would prefer fans to believe, and even he admits that. “I don’t know where my career would be without Smackdown’s heat machine,” said Orton, Continue Reading...
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Headlies: DOCTOR THAT PERFORMED ROB CONWAY’S SEX CHANGE INTO EVE TORRES HONORED / MAN HACKS KURT ANGLE’S TWITTER TO POST REASONABLE, PLEASANT MESSAGES

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 12:08
DOCTOR THAT PERFORMED ROB CONWAY’S SEX CHANGE INTO EVE TORRES HONORED By Justin Henry Malmo, Sweden – Dr. Georg Krausingaard, a pioneer in the field of gender reassignment, was honored this week at a luncheon near the Faculty of Medicine. Krausingaard, 77, has devoted his life to gender reassignment, known to the layman as “sex change operations”. Since the first Continue Reading...
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Headlies: IRS CASHES IN MONEY IN THE BANK BRIEFCASE FROM 1991, BEATS JOHN CENA FOR WWE TITLE / RUFUS DETWILER, MAN WHO PLAYED ‘ORIGINAL’ SCOTT STEINER, DEAD AT 46

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 12:06
IRS CASHES IN MONEY IN THE BANK BRIEFCASE FROM 1991, BEATS JOHN CENA FOR WWE TITLE By Justin Henry Sydney, Australia – CM Punk, move over. Your soul-baring speech from Monday Night Raw has been dethroned as the most newsworthy wrestling story of the week. WWE Champion John Cena was scheduled to defend his gold against R-Truth, and R-Truth alone Continue Reading...
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Headlies: JOHN CENA DECLARES POOP “NO LONGER FUNNY” AFTER COUSIN’S TYPHOID DEATH / MAN THROWS ANGELINA LOVE ACROSS YARD, PROMPTLY RETURNED BY DOG

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 12:04
Text by Justin Henry, RD Reynolds, and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here JOHN CENA DECLARES POOP “NO LONGER FUNNY” AFTER COUSIN’S TYPHOID DEATH By Justin Henry For several years, WWE’s main event avatar, John Cena, has derived much mileage out of childish bathroom humor. To the consternation of veteran Continue Reading...
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Headlies: DOLPH ZIGGLER TO TAKE NICKY’S PLACE DURING FORTHCOMING SPIRIT SQUAD REUNION / NEXT SEASON OF TOUGH ENOUGH TO SEARCH FOR NEXT BARELY USED ANNOUNCER

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 12:03
Text by Justin Henry, RD Reynolds, and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here DOLPH ZIGGLER TO TAKE NICKY’S PLACE DURING FORTHCOMING SPIRIT SQUAD REUNION By Justin Henry Las Vegas, NV – World Wrestling Entertainment is known for its use of ‘classic characters’ on their television programming, usually to help lighten Continue Reading...
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Headlies: JEFF HARDY RETIRES FROM WRESTLING TO BECOME SANDWICH ARTIST / LANCE STORM CRITICIZES OWN REALITY SHOW ON HIS WEBSITE’S BLOG ROLL

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 12:01
Text by Justin Henry, RD Reynolds, and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here JEFF HARDY RETIRES FROM WRESTLING TO BECOME SANDWICH ARTIST By RD Reynolds and Justin Henry Vaas, NC – Visitors to Subway #19401 located inside the Hudson’s Food Mart were in for a shock this week as former WWE/TNA Continue Reading...
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Headlies: JEFF JARRETT SAVED CHYNA FROM SPCA ONE HOUR BEFORE EUTHANIZATION / GENERATION ME FINISH CHORES, ARE ALLOWED TO STAY UP TO WATCH IMPACT MAIN EVENT / INDY PROMOTION TO RUN “SUPER BLOODY DEATH TOURNAMENT”, SEEKING REC CENTER TO HOST IT

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:58
Text by Justin Henry, RD Reynolds, and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here JEFF JARRETT SAVED CHYNA FROM SPCA ONE HOUR BEFORE EUTHANIZATION By Justin Henry Nashua, NH – Fans were flabbergasted to discover that Joanie Lauer, professionally known as “Chyna”, had debuted at the TNA Impact tapings recently, playing Continue Reading...
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Headlies: CM PUNK TO LEAVE WWE, MAKE LIVING BUMMING MEALS FROM AWESTRUCK SMARKS / FORMER WWE INTERN ADMITS: “THOSE ‘DID YOU KNOWS’ ARE TOTAL BS”

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:53
Text by Justin Henry, RD Reynolds, and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here CM PUNK TO LEAVE WWE, MAKE LIVING BUMMING MEALS FROM AWESTRUCK SMARKS By Justin Henry Chicago, IL – It would appear that CM Punk has made the decision to end his near five-year tenure with World Wrestling Continue Reading...
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Headlies: WWE ALL-STARS LIKENESS OF HULK HOGAN TESTS POSITIVE FOR HGH / RONNIE GARVIN FELLS WOULD-BE ROBBER WITH HANDS OF STONE, GARVIN STOMP

1 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:51
Text by Justin Henry, RD Reynolds, and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here WWE ALL-STARS LIKENESS OF HULK HOGAN TESTS POSITIVE FOR HGH By Justin Henry San Diego, CA – THQ Headquarters has been rocked by scandal this week, as the digital likeness of Hulk Hogan, a prominent playable character Continue Reading...
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Headlies: JOHN CENA TO MENTOR SIN CARA, TEACH HIM HOW TO WRESTLE / RUMOR: VINCE MCMAHON HAVING AFFAIR WITH STAMFORD SUPERCUTS EMPLOYEE / DESTITUTE LEX LUGER SCRAPS STEEL FOREARM PLATE FOR CASH

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:48
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here JOHN CENA TO MENTOR SIN CARA, TEACH HIM HOW TO WRESTLE By Justin Henry London, England – After international lucha sensation Sin Cara (the man once known as Mistico) made a couple errors in judgment during his first televised Continue Reading...
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Headlies: EDGE HAS “NO PLANS” TO RETIRE FROM ADULTERY / REMINDER: APRIL 18 IS KANE’S “FACE TURN/HEEL TURN” CALENDAR DARTS NIGHT / TRIPLE H RETURNING NEW BLU-RAY PLAYER TO PAY FOR WRESTLEMANIA CHAIR SHOT FINE

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:46
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here EDGE HAS “NO PLANS” TO RETIRE FROM ADULTERY By Justin Henry Bridgeport, CT – With accumulated spinal injuries as the main culprit, 37 year old Adam Copeland, best known as “The Rated-R Superstar” Edge, relinquished the World Heavyweight Championship Continue Reading...
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Headlies: VIRGIL HAPPY TO HAVE WRESTLEMANIA STREAK IN TACT / RARE 1989 “DISS TAPE” FOUND IN WWE PRODUCTION STUDIOS / BOBBY WASHWEY WOOKING TO WEALWIZE POTENTHIAL OUTHIDE WING

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:44
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here VIRGIL HAPPY TO HAVE WRESTLEMANIA STREAK IN TACT By Justin Henry Pittsburgh, PA – March 24, 2011 marked the twenty year anniversary of the beginning of a WrestleMania streak that has yet to be compromised, and is still talked Continue Reading...
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Headlies: TNA TRADES JEFF HARDY TO REHAB FOR SCOTT WEILAND / UPDATE – HARDY TRADED BACK TO TNA, WHO WILL NOW HOLD LOCKDOWN IN LEGIT PRISON TO ACCOMMODATE HIS SENTENCE / TRIPLE H CONTEMPLATING BUYING BLU-RAY PLAYER WITH BOX OFFICE GROSS FROM “THE CHAPERONE”

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:41
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here TNA TRADES JEFF HARDY TO REHAB FOR SCOTT WEILAND By Justin Henry Orlando, FL – In a startling development, Total Non-Stop Action has traded former two-time TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy to an Unchained Futures, a rehabilitation facility Continue Reading...
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Headlies: HEIDENREICH EXCITED ABOUT JOINING ANIMAL FOR WWE HALL OF FAME INDUCTION / CODY RHODES TO ATTEMPT TO DUPLICATE HIS FATHER’S SUCCESS BY TALKING NON-STOP RHYMING GIBBERISH / PAUL ROMA “VASTLY UNDERRATED” CLAIMS PAUL ROMA

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:37
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here HEIDENREICH EXCITED ABOUT JOINING ANIMAL FOR WWE HALL OF FAME INDUCTION By Justin Henry New Orleans, LA – The WWE Hall of Fame induction ceremony will take place Saturday night, April 2, at the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, GA. Continue Reading...
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Headlies: JOEY STYLES CELEBRATES THREE “REBELLIOUSLY EXTREME” YEARS RUNNING WWE.COM / JACK SWAGGER TAKES OUT OVERSIZED NOVELTY TEETH, PUNISHED FOR REVEALING NORMAL SMILE / COLT CABANA PROVES THAT JUST ABOUT ANYBODY CAN BE NWA CHAMPION

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:35
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here JOEY STYLES CELEBRATES THREE “REBELLIOUSLY EXTREME” YEARS RUNNING WWE.COM By Justin Henry Stamford, CT – Since leaving the ECW broadcast booth in the spring of 2008, Joey Styles has diligently and tirelessly put much time into running WWE.com, the Continue Reading...
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Headlies: REPO MAN TO STEAL ALBERTO DEL RIO’S CARS UNTIL PAYMENTS ARE MADE / RODERICK STRONG “CAN’T WAIT” TO BECOME FORGOTTEN WWE MIDCARDER / TNA SIGNS AL WILSON JUST TO PROVE WWE ARE FRAUDS

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:30
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here REPO MAN TO STEAL ALBERTO DEL RIO’S CARS UNTIL PAYMENTS ARE MADE By Justin Henry San Luis Potosi, Mexico – While Alberto Del Rio may be on the “Road to WrestleMania”, the #1 contender for the World Heavyweight Championship Continue Reading...
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Headlies: JACK TUNNEY FAKED DEATH, WILL BE REVEALED AS ANONYMOUS RAW GM / SON OF TNA’S ABYSS “BLADES” DURING SCHOOL PLAY TO KEEP CROWD INTERESTED / AREA HOTTIES TO ATTEND NWA FANFEST, MESS WITH HOPELESS VIRGINS

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:21
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here JACK TUNNEY FAKED DEATH, WILL BE REVEALED AS ANONYMOUS RAW GM By Justin Henry Toronto, ON – Despite reports that he had died in January 2004 of natural causes, Jack Tunney, once the “esteemed President” of the World Wrestling Continue Reading...
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Headlies: RANDY ORTON REVEALS HE’S ACTUALLY A ROBOT FROM THE FUTURE / SHANE HELMS FOLLOWS SHAWN MICHAELS TO SOUP KITCHEN “JUST TO KEEP HIM IN LINE” / “TERRY GARVIN JUST WASN’T INTO ME” CLAIMS LONELY, BITTER SHANE DOUGLAS

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:17
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here RANDY ORTON REVEALS HE’S ACTUALLY A ROBOT FROM THE FUTURE By Sean Carless & Catherine Perez Stamford, CT – He hears voices in his head. For pro grappler Randy Orton, 30, this is not only the familiar chorus of Continue Reading...
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Headlies: SENILE KEN PATERA, GRIMACE HAVE ‘UNEASY’ TRUCE AT CONVENTION / RIC FLAIR TO BUY OUT TNA CONTRACT BY SELLING KIDNEY / MARK HENRY, LONG-LOST SON REUNITE

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:13
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here SENILE KEN PATERA, GRIMACE HAVE ‘UNEASY’ TRUCE AT CONVENTION By Justin Henry Fort Washington, PA – At the recent comic/sci-fi/wrestling convention in Fort Washington, former WWE Intercontinental Champion Ken Patera was on hand to sign autographs for fans and Continue Reading...
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Headlies: US HERO WITH GOLDEN TRUNKS BECOMES HOMELESS MAN / DIXIE CARTER “SURPRISED” TO FIND TNA DVDS IN FYE BARGAIN BIN / TUPAC-BIGGIE FEUD BEGAN OVER STAR RATING DISAGREEMENT

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:01
Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here US HERO WITH GOLDEN TRUNKS BECOMES HOMELESS MAN By Sean Carless, Catherine Perez Orlando, FL – Once a national icon who inspired millions to train, say their prayers, and eat their vitamins, semi-retired pro wrestler Hulk Hogan has become the Continue Reading...
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Headlies: MATT HARDY TO HEADLINE WRESTLEMANIA 27 ON “SMACKDOWN VS. RAW 2011” / FORECASTERS PREDICT BIG SHOW’S ANNUAL HEEL TURN WILL COME “EARLIER THAN EXPECTED”

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 10:59
Text by Justin Henry; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here MATT HARDY TO HEADLINE WRESTLEMANIA 27 ON “SMACKDOWN VS. RAW 2011” By Justin Henry Cameron, NC – Matt Hardy has finally realized his dream, and will get to headline the 27th annual grand spectacle known as Wrestlemania. The 36 year old Continue Reading...
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The Crap Shoot with Bill Apter

0 Submitted by on Wed, 26 December 2012, 21:47
In early 2012, I got to realize a pretty incredible dream: I was going to be teaming up regularly with Bill Apter on a video podcast. Now make no mistake about this, Bill Apter was a HUGE influence on me. Back when I first got into wrestling, there was no place better to get news than the legendary Apter mags, Continue Reading...
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WCW vs. Charmed: Witches vs Wrestlers? My Money’s On Alyssa Milano!

0 Submitted by on Wed, 26 December 2012, 21:05
WB Network, 2000 Text by Steve Taylor & RD Reynolds From 1999 to 2000, pro wrestling reached unheard of heights in TV ratings as fans flocked to watch The Attitude Era of the tnen-WWF and to follow the exploits of the nWo in WCW. Countless batteries were worn out on remotes across the country in attempts to watch both Raw and Nitro, what with us all Continue Reading...
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Kronik vs. The Brothers of Destruction: A Legendarily Bad Match Turns Out To Be…Yeah, Pretty Horrible

5 Submitted by on Wed, 26 December 2012, 21:04
WWF, 2001 Text by RD Reynolds I feel like I’ve been doing this a lot lately, but confession time: I’ve never seen this match. I’ve heard about it. Oh boy have I heard about it. It’s been called one of the worst matches ever, one of the worst matches The Undertaker has ever been involved in, which is something I personally Continue Reading...
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Six Sides of Blindfolded Steel:The Most Brutal Blindfold Match Ever!

5 Submitted by on Wed, 26 December 2012, 21:02
TNA, 2007 Text by RD Reynolds If you’ve been following pro wrestling for, oh, ten minutes or so, you know there is no shortage of goofy match types. Right off the top of my head, we get tag team matches, triple threat matches, strap matches, chain matches, dog collar matches, inferno matches, tuxedo matches, cage matches, blindfold matches. Oh, and those Continue Reading...
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Tiffany: Excellence of Enunciation!

1 Submitted by on Wed, 26 December 2012, 20:54
WWE, 2008-2010 Text by RD Reynolds You know, I’ve been wanting to write this induction for a couple of years. It may not have been first on my list, but it was definitely ON my list, and I knew that one day it would come to pass that I’d be doing the screen grabs and pecking away on my MacBook Pro Continue Reading...
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