Re-Writing The Book: The (Unpublished) Novel, Part VI

2 Submitted by on Fri, 01 May 2015, 22:18

by Neil Cathan

What if…John Cena’s Worst Year Ever Actually Was?

And

What if…The Planned Dean Ambrose/Mick Foley Program Had Happened?

The Build To The Royal Rumble

Randy Orton has survived his TLC war with John Cena and retained the WWE Championship. He has no time to bask in the glory or relax, however, as Paul Heyman announces the return of Brock Lesnar and reminds Orton that Lesnar has been guaranteed a title shot and that he will cash it in at The Royal Rumble, that nothing that Orton can do will save him from destruction and defeat at The Royal Rumble

Dean Ambrose has the COO’s blood on his hands coming out of TLC. He is bragging about his violent assault on the now-missing Triple H and pointing to Triple H as an example of why it is always the wisest move to give him what he asks for, when music unheard for a long time hits the speakers: “I walk alone inside this pit of danger…” signals the return of Batista. Ambrose invites Batista to come into the ring with him. Batista jumps onto the apron and is met with a barrage of punches, but they have no effect. Batista shoves Ambrose across the ring, comes in and smashes him with a clothesline, then hoists him up for a massive Batista Bomb. He explains his return as “something I had to do” after seeing Ambrose brutalise his old friend Triple H. Ambrose is none too impressed, offering the same to Batista come The Royal Rumble

The Royal Rumble will also see Cody Rhodes defend his newly won World Heavyweight Championship. Former champion Daniel Bryan is assured a rematch that Rhodes is only too happy to give him, given that Bray Wyatt caused Cody’s title win. Wyatt explains his interference as holding the World Title hostage. Until he gets a shot at that belt, he will make sure no champion can hold his head with pride and say that he won or retained the title by his own merits. Bryan and Rhodes are both all too glad to get him in the ring with them, Rhodes offering up a cage match, to keep Wyatt’s cronies out. Wyatt laughs at these arrogant beasts that would lock themselves in a box with the devil…

AJ Lee and Roman Reigns continue their side of the war with the Wyatt Family. Both champions having lost their titles (Diva’s and Intercontinental, respectively) to a member of the strange clan (Paige and Harper, respectively and somewhat obviously). Roman’s rematch comes on RAW and is lost to interference. AJ’s will come at The Royal Rumble and Roman promises his services at ringside once more, to prevent any interference. Paige points to her domination of AJ at TLC and asks why she would need any. AJ hasn’t forgotten her beating either, but reminds Paige that Sara Del Rey dominated her first match with AJ Lee, but wound up being driven out of the WWE by AJ…

Dean Ambrose is, Batista admits, not the only thing bringing him back. It’s Wrestlemania season and he has watched too many on TV lately, this one, he needs to be a part of, and he’s being the biggest part…

John Cena is not looking to just accept that he lost his WWE title. No, whoever is champion will be dealing with him come Wrestlemania

Dolph Ziggler won the Royal Rumble last year and he is well aware of the target on his back, but he’s okay with that. Every day in this company is a fighting one for him, the Royal Rumble is just another day, just like it was last year…

Dean Ambrose has, in his own words, “brought war, destruction and chaos back to wrestling” and come the Royal Rumble, he sets about bringing it to the main event of Wrestlemania

Heyman and Cesaro may have ruined his title challenge against Daniel Bryan, but CM Punk plans to win the Royal Rumble and, if Bryan is champion, challenge again. If not, well, he lost the WWE title last Wrestlemania and after its year long vacation, it can come home to around his waist…

Wade Barrett returns atop a podium, delivering Bad News, including the Bad News for all other Rumble Competitors: that they are but a footnote to his historic victory…

The Royal Rumble

AJ Lee and Paige open off The Royal Rumble. Paige is cocky and confident, sure that after her domination of AJ at TLC, she will have an easy time here tonight. For the early part of the match, she seems right, handling AJ with ease. AJ surprises her by pushing her off the top rope on a superplex attempt, cementing the advantage with a missile dropkick. AJ keeps running after this, building up speed and power, Paige having fallen into her trap. Paige is too shocked by the sudden momentum shift and didn’t bother to make a plan for AJ. Things quickly fall apart for her and she finds herself on the receiving end of a Shining Wizard from Lee, who caps off her momentum with a three count to regain her Diva’s title.

Batista starts off his battle with Dean Ambrose strong, battering the small man around the ring. Ambrose is able to get the boots up on a clothesline, however, and turns things around from here, working Batista’s ribs over and irish whipping him a lot, working to wear the breath out of the recently returned Animal and succeeding. Batista is able to mount a few comebacks here and there, but these are usually relegated to one big move that he is unable to properly capitalise on. Ambrose is battered coming out of the match, but had it firmly in pocket for the entire back half.

The three way cage match is brutal carnage at its finest, a strike-fest with a lot of bumps into the cage. Bryan and Rhodes work together early on, but the unfinished business from their TLC match boils to the surface and they find themselves warring once more. The finish comes with Bray absolutely killing Bryan off a Sister Abigail into the cage. Before Wyatt can step back into the ring however, he is Disasterkicked into the cage wall, then caught with a running dropkick. These two blasts to the head are followed up by a shiranui that drapes his neck across the top rope, bouncing it back so that again, the back of it collides with the cage. With Bryan viciously smashed face-first into the cage and the back of Wyatt’s head repeatedly cracked against the cage, Cody is able to escape and retain his World Heavyweight Championship.

Lesnar vs Orton, the battle of the two youngest first-time champions, starts with a collar and elbow tie-up, leading to chain grappling, but Lesnar’s amateur background means that he quickly outclasses Orton. Orton goes to the strikes, but Lesnar’s size, strength and UFC history means that he quickly outclasses Orton. Orton goes outside the ring and paces, re-evaluating his plan. Lesnar lets him, bouncing from foot to foot, waiting for Orton to come back in, certain in his victory. Back in comes Orton, who proceeds to fight defensively and play the long game. When Lesnar goes for a suplex, Orton blocks it and locks on a front face-lock. When Lesnar goes for a clothesline, Orton dodges behind and kicks Lesnar in the back. When Lesnar throws a haymaker, Orton dodges back and jabs. When Lesnar shoots in for a takedown, Orton leapfrogs him and scores a dropkick. And so on. All he can manage, however, is to fight Lesnar to a stale-mate, and Lesnar is showing no sign of tiring. He has to go on the offensive or keep this up to an hour long draw, and he knows that one opening is all it might take for Lesnar to put him away. So he goes on the attack and this is all the opening that Lesnar needs. Orton is powered into the corner and hammered with brutal punches, is tossed around the ring with german suplexes, is clotheslined out of his boots, is generally turned into a fine red mist. Orton rolls out of the ring, trying to collect himself, but Lesnar follows this time around, hurling Orton into the barrier and then the ring steps, picking him up at one ring post and running him back first full-speed-ahead into the other. Orton is thrown back in and pulled up for an F-5, but the F-5 is almost tailor-made to be countered with an RKO. Cover gets two. Undeterred, Orton walks back and lines Lesnar up for a Punt Kick, connecting for two and Lesnar is already starting to reach his feet. Desperate, he throws himself up for the RKO, but Lesnar grabs onto his waist and German suplexes him, the back of his head smacking against the turnbuckle, then whiplashing forwards. Orton kicks out, but it seems to be reflex more than anything else. The lights are dimmed in Orton’s eyes and a light-bulb just came on above Lesnar’s head. He goes to the corner and unties the turnbuckle padding. Then he pulls Orton up by the waist and delivers another German suplex. Orton is gone, helpless by this point. Not wanting to take any chances, Lesnar picks this time to hit the F-5 he attempted earlier and there is nothing that Orton can do to stop it, or the three count that follows. Brock Lesnar is the new WWE Champion and the winner of The Royal Rumble has a hell of a challenge ahead of him.

Speaking of which…

#1-5

Dean Ambrose and CM Punk start the Rumble off at #1 and #2, respectively. They go right at each other, Punk taking the advantage as Ambrose is still showing wear and tear from the fight with Batista. Next in is Kane who takes both down with a double-clothesline and goes for a double-chokeslam, but gets double DDT’d instead. Ambrose dives on Punk quick as a flash, tearing into him with punches. Kane pulls him off and goes for the elimination, but Ambrose is able to hang on. Punk is trading kicks for Kane’s punches when Drew McIntyre feeds in. Surely, this will change the complexion of the entire match! He lasts as long as it takes for it to be Lord Tensai’s turn to come into the match and immediately toss him. Tensai expresses his appreciation for Kane’s hair, or lack thereof, and takes a punch. Offended, he throws one right back. Kane and Tensai pair off, putting Punk and Ambrose back together.

(IN-RING: Ambrose, Punk, Kane, Tensai)

#6-10

Cesaro comes in and throws European Uppercuts just everywhere. Dean Ambrose hits the second rope for a rebound clothesline off his, but Punk times a dropkick to knock him over the top rope. Ambrose kicks the top part off the ring steps in anger and marches over to the announce desk to declare that the WWE Universe will wish he had won this one. Oh, he has plans. Cesaro tries to eliminate Punk, but Punk is able to fight back. With Punk and Cesaro paired off while Kane and Tensai continue to big man brawl, Alberto Del Rio comes to the ring and cautiously avoids the fighting. Punk is able to eliminate Cesaro and is quickly attacked by Del Rio. The two are trading kicks when Luke Harper comes down to the ring. Spotting Tensai and Kane fighting by the ropes, trying to eliminate each other, he barrels into the pair of them and achieves both their goals, before joining in with Punk and Del Rio’s fight. Erick Rowan is next out and works with his brother-in-Wyatt to eliminate both Punk and Del Rio. Big Show makes his triumphant return at #10 and puts up a brief fight against the Wyatts, but falls before the next wrestler can come out.

(IN-RING: Luke Harper, Erick Rowan)

#11-15

Given who he has to face in the ring, its Bad News for Bad News Barrett, who is quickly taken out. Sheamus puts up a brave fight, but the same happens to him. Luke Harper takes a microphone and declares that the spirit of Bray Wyatt has granted the two brothers invincibility. #13 rolls around and the clock counts down. The lights go out. A crow caws. The lights come back on and Sting is stood behind the two invincible brothers as the crowd lose their shit. Erick Rowan is quickly tossed. Harper goes on the attack, but Sting shakes it off and tosses Harper too. Damien Sandow apprehensively comes down to the ring and quickly exits via the top rope. Jey Uso is energetic, exuberant and eliminated.

(IN-RING: Sting.)

#16-20

John Cena is the next out and the crowd, already hot as hell since Sting, go hot as a theoretical thing hotter than hell. Like, an oven on in hell? On really high? Like, its broken and goes higher than it should? My oven’s broken like that, its terrible. One’a them. It belongs in hell. Anyway. The two face off, Cena’s fist clenched. Cena raises his fist, opens it up and reveals pepper spray, which Sting takes right in the eyes. He stumbles backwards, as one does, and is tossed. The lights go out and Sting is gone when they come back on. The crowd turn angry and pop big for the arrival of Dolph Ziggler and for every piece of offence he hits on the man who practically murdered him in the ring over half a year ago. He certainly seems to be enjoying it too, kicking the spray out of Cena’s hand early and kicking the taste out of Cena’s mouth after. Chris Jericho makes his return as Cena hits his first move of the match, dropping Ziggler with a big clothesline. Three-way fight and Jimmy Uso feeds in. The energy in the ring is almost as high as Santino’s enthusiasm for being in the Rumble and Hornswoggle kneeling down is almost as short as the time he spends in it.

(IN-RING: Cena, Ziggler, Jericho, Jimmy Uso)

#21-25

Woo, woo, woo, you know it…makes no-one in the ring worried that Zack Ryder has joined the match. Seth Rollins, on the other hand, is in and darting around, slamming into everyone as hard as he can and looking like trouble. Ryder is taken out by Jericho in this time. United States Champion Kofi Kingston is next in and things get very high-flying and energetic in the ring, with Kofi, Rollins, Uso, Ziggler and Jericho there. Cena rolls under the ropes to watch and enjoy a break and everyone is a bit too busy with the exciting action in the ring to notice for a while. When the music for The Miz hits the speakers, everyone in the ring turns their attention to the ramp on instinct and it is at this point that Cena is noticed. Something about “wrestler outside the ring” clicks on “I should jump on him” in Jimmy Uso’s head and so he does, flattening Cena with a massive dive and standing up to the applause, the grin on his face fading as he sees Miz doubled over laughing and realisation hits him much harder than he just hit Cena. Jericho and Ziggler take the approach of rolling under the ropes and throwing Cena back in the ring. Each of Kofi, Ziggler and Jericho hit a dropkick on Cena. R-Truth is out next and wishes to know What Is Up. Answers on a postcard.

(IN-RING: Cena, Ziggler, Jericho, Rollins, Kingston, Miz, Truth)

#26-30

All around brawling as Christian makes his way to the ring. He tries to do the crafty veteran avoiding everyone shtick, but Miz is already doing that and they fight over who gets to not fight. Irony! It’s not just the taste of iron that accompanies everything cooked in my broken oven! Jack Swagger arrives. Cena press slams Kofi out of the ring, but Kofi pulls the ring apron down as he falls, so that it is cloth, not the ring-floor, that his feet touch. Rey is out next to a respectable reaction that he seems oddly grateful for. Hmmm. Roman Reigns is out next and makes a bee-line for Cena, quickly bowling him off his feet. Some grudges don’t die. The final entrant is Batista.

(IN-RING: Cena, Ziggler, Jericho, Rollins, Kingston, Miz, Truth, Christian, Miz, Swagger, Mysterio, Reigns, Batista)

Further Eliminations

Between a fresh Batista and Reigns, Kingston, Miz, Truth, Miz and Swagger are not long for this match. Jericho, groggy by the ropes, is lined up for a Superman Punch, but he ducks, pulling the top rope down with him, Roman going head-first over the top rope. Jericho straightens up and into a Cena clothesline, sending him over. Mysterio is the next out, when a cross-body on Batista gets caught into a fall-away slam over the top rope.

The Final Four

Dolph Ziggler, Seth Rollins, John Cena and Batista are left in this one. Rollins goes down off a Batista clothesline and Batista turns his attention straight to Cena, who is working Ziggler over in the corner. The two icons of the previous/current generation throw hands all around the ring, Batista getting a near elimination off a clothesline, but Cena hangs onto the top rope and stays in. Rollins has a running dropkick for Batista that sends him into the corner, Rollins charges in for a splash, but Batista back-drops him almost over, Rollins landing feet-first on the apron to save himself. Ziggler eliminates Cena with a dropkick of his own and the cross-hairs appear across his head for Batista as he realises he is in there with last year’s winner. Batista drops Ziggler with a right hand, but Ziggler is right back up. Again and up again. Batista turns around to take a springboard forearm from Rollins. Rollins picks up Ziggler and running powerbombs him into the turnbuckle, following up with a clothesline that sends Ziggler over. Just Batista and Rollins left now. Rollins is sent pinballing from power moves, but Batista cannot get him out of that ring. Rollins is able to counter a Batista Bomb into a DDT to turn things back around. Batista reaches his feet and is staggered by a superkick. A second one sends him right over the top rope and Seth Rollins has won the Royal Rumble!

The Build To Elimination Chamber

Seth Rollins has returned from a Brock Lesnar induced injury to win the Royal Rumble. His title shot is an obvious pick: Brock Lesnar or whoever wins the elimination chamber and steals Rollins’ revenge from him. Alberto Del Rio takes exception to Rollins calling his shot this early, or getting any of his damn career success this early. The only early thing Del Rio got was his Rumble entry: half the Rumble before Rollins came in. If he’d been there, he would have stopped this damn kid: after all, Del Rio beat the holy hell out of him in his first PPV match. Rollins hasn’t forgotten that and wants a warm up make it right bout with Del Rio at Elimination Chamber. Del Rio will give it to him on the condition that the Wrestlemania title shot also be on the line. Rollins agrees. Del Rio promises that just as he gave Rollins his career, so will he take it away come Elimination Chamber.

Company men Triple H and Randy Orton are concerned with Brock Lesnar as WWE Champion. This is a man who, while contractually obliged to turn up at Elimination Chamber, won’t be around for most of the year, taking the WWE’s top prize with him; a man who might go back to UFC at any time, taking the WWE’s top prize elsewhere. Just as they joined forces to protect the company when Cena as champion was doing his best to injure any rising star promising enough to look like a threat to his top spot, so they join forces now, adding Batista to the mix: Evolution are back in the game, with one very big name on their hit-list. Triple H uses his power to make them the first three names in the WWE Championship Elimination Chamber. The final two are decided in qualifying bouts: CM Punk (very shady at the sudden power play and the “decent and righteous reasons to keep power tightly in their hands”) earns a spot by countout against John Cena. He finds pitting two obvious big contenders against each other where only one can get the shot shady too. A paranoid man, that Punk. Or one who sees things as they are. The other spot goes to the similarly suspicious Dean Ambrose, who points out that Batista came back to get revenge for Triple H against him, and got the #30 spot in the Rumble, while Ambrose got the #1 spot. Punk and Ambrose become unlikely allies in their mis-trust leading into the Elimination Chamber, but can that alliance or Evolution’s alliance hold up with the WWE title on the line?

The Wyatt Family lost both of the title matches they were involved in at The Royal Rumble; Paige losing her Diva’s Championship while Bray Wyatt failed to capture the World Heavyweight Championship. Things are looking grimmer for the Wyatts yet: the one title they still hold, Luke Harper’s Intercontinental Championship is being challenged for by Roman Reigns, who won a ten man battle royal for the shot. They stand a chance to get their titles once more, however, Paige cashing in her rematch clause and promising not to take AJ so lightly this time around, while Bray Wyatt earns a place in the World Heavyweight Championship match, alongside fellow challengers Dolph Ziggler, Chris Jericho, The Miz and Daniel Bryan. That last name has a particular bone to pick, both with Bray Wyatt, who cost him the World Heavyweight Championship and is now leading a war against his friends (though his ‘friends’, AJ Lee and Roman Reigns, remembering his friendship, fervently deny aforementioned friendship at any and every opportunity), and also with Cody Rhodes, who he calls a paper champion: unable to beat him in the ring to win it and only able to retain by escaping a cage. Despite protests that Bryan wasn’t able to put Cody away no matter how hard he tried either, these words seem to hit hard to Rhodes, who is developing a real complex about whether he deserves his title and who plans to prove Bryan and that nagging little voice at the back of his head wrong come Elimination Chamber

Elimination Chamber

The World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber between Cody Rhodes, Daniel Bryan, Bray Wyatt, Dolph Ziggler, Chris Jericho and The Miz starts the show off. Bryan and Ziggler start the match with a chain wrestling sequence that quickly picks up pace. Bray Wyatt feeds in next, taking both out with massive clotheslines. The match turns into a big move party to which Chris Jericho is the next to arrive. Bryan’s ongoing war with Wyatt sees the two pair off into a brawl in the ring and around the structure, while Ziggler and Jericho have a more respectful wrestling match. Miz feeds in. Bryan and Wyatt are fighting it out in the ring at present, throwing bombs at each other in the middle, oblivious to everyone else. Jericho and Miz have the same idea at the same time, Jericho behind Wyatt and Miz behind Bryan, they each roll their man up, the distraction allowing a three count. The two are ejected together and fight up the ramp to the back as Cody Rhodes makes the final entry. Cody comes in hot, eager to make up for the time he wasn’t there, bringing the fight to all three of his challengers until he’s dropped by a Jericho enzuigiri. The match progresses as quite a nice, fast paced, wrestling focussed affair. Miz is the first to go, taken out of action by a Zig-Zag. Ziggler is the next out, courtesy of a Lionsault. Youth vs experience as Rhodes and Jericho go back and forth, ending in a Cross Rhodes that lets Cody Rhodes retain his World Heavyweight Championship.

Backstage, CM Punk is being interviewed about the WWE Championship Elimination Chamber when John Cena jumps him mid-interview, throwing him into the TV screen and running him over with a production cart.

Roman Reigns challenges Luke Harper for the Intercontinental Title next. The bout is a big man big move trade that is going Roman’s way, which brings Erick Rowan out for interference to cause the disqualification. Roman is getting beaten on two-on-one when Daniel Bryan rushes out to make the save. Bryan and Reigns clear the ring, but the lights go out and when they come back on, Bray Wyatt is behind them. He attacks from behind, giving the distraction for Harper and Rowan to come in. Bryan and Reigns are brutally beaten down in the middle of the ring and the Wyatt family head up the ramp to the back, laughing.

John Cena is the next out to the ring, taking up the microphone to break the news that unfortunately, CM Punk is unable to compete in the Elimination Chamber at the end of the night and offering his own name up as a replacement. The lights go out and when they come back on, Sting is in the ring for the first time since the Royal Rumble. Sting blasts Cena with his baseball bat, then yells and pulls Cena up for a Scorpion Deathdrop. Sting marches up the ramp and to the back, leaving Cena down and out.

The Diva’s Title match between AJ Lee and Paige follows. After seeing the beating that Paige’s fellow Wyatt associates laid on Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan, AJ is furious and starts this one out with fierce brawling. Paige answers just as fierce and things escalate until the match is thrown out in a double-DQ.

Backstage, a random draw is held to determine the replacement for CM Punk in the Elimination Chamber. And the name picked is…Cesaro!

Alberto Del Rio and Seth Rollins go up next in a hard hitting technical encounter full of kicks and submissions, won by Rollins after a Curb Stomp.

Dean Ambrose is backstage, talking about his opponents in the coming Elimination Chamber. Evolution are in there together. Brock Lesnar has a fellow Heyman associate in Cesaro. That just leaves Dean Ambrose, all alone. Which is the way it has been for a while, yet also the way it has never been for a long time. All Dean’s friends, they’re all crippled, or wracked with substance problems, some of them are dead. He’s here for them. He’s here so that one of them could have made it here, so that it wasn’t all for nothing. So it is never just him out there, he carries their ghosts, he carries their dreams, he carries their anger and their blood-lust with him wherever he goes.

And now, for the main event. Brock Lesnar and Triple H start the match off and Lesnar, knowing that this is his one chance to face a member of Evolution one-on-one, absolutely tears into Triple H, and it is all that Trips can do to survive. When Cesaro feeds in next, he can’t even do that, falling to the two-on-one (an F-5, specifically) just a moment too late, as Batista is the next one out. Batista comes out hot, clotheslines and punches, fighting fiercely and desperately just to stay alive in this one. He starts off well, but the numbers game gets to him. Enter Ambrose, and the unlikely scene is the necessary one, as the two men who went to war last month at The Royal Rumble find themselves fighting together against Lesnar and Cesaro. Orton is next in and this becomes a clear-cut Evolution vs Team Heyman battle, with Dean Ambrose picking on stragglers, on those who aren’t in the same part of the structure to others and are already down. This goes well for him until he tries the trick on Lesnar after Batista manages to clothesline him from the ring and onto the steel. Ambrose gets in some nice shots, but is thrown roughly into the Chamber wall, then lifted and run into it before being slammed onto the steel floor. Lesnar goes back in to help Cesaro out, tossing Orton from the ring, then working together with Cesaro to bring Batista down. Lesnar directs Cesaro to finish Ambrose off as he deals with Orton and Batista. Cesaro drags Ambrose back into the ring and starts hammering him with European uppercuts. Ambrose hits the second rope off one of them and comes back with a rebound clothesline, but Cesaro catches him, tossing him into the air and cracking him with a massive European uppercut. Cesaro pulls Ambrose up and delivers a Neutraliser for the three. The match returns to a straight two-on-two brawl until, with Lesnar and Batista brawling on the steel floor, Orton is able to counter Cesaro’s flapjack into a European uppercut with an RKO, dropping him for three. Batista and Orton, working together, are able to bring the fight to Lesnar. After a while on the run, a novel experience for Lesnar, Lesnar is able to dodge a Batista spear, resulting in Orton getting speared instead. Lesnar sees his chance and picks Batista up from behind for a German suplex, then hoists Orton for an F-5, putting him away for three. Lesnar vs Batista in a trade of power moves, all slams and suplexes, ending in an F-5 on Batista. Brock Lesnar has retained the WWE Championship.

The Build To Wrestlemania 30

Going into the first RAW after Elimination Chamber, the main event of Wrestlemania 30 is set to be Seth Rollins vs Brock Lesnar. Coming out of it, CM Punk, who was supposed to be in the Chamber match for the WWE title, gets the shot Cena denied him, being added to the match to make it a triple threat. Punk and Rollins are both former Heyman Guys, and Lesnar is the current Heyman guy, putting a lot of focus on Heyman, who makes sure to get a lot of shine out of this. Lesnar works a rare RAW match in the build-up here, tagging with Cesaro against Rollins and Punk, Rollins managing to pin Cesaro. The long implosion of the Heyman Camp comes to a head in the main event of Wrestlemania 30, with the WWE Title going to the victor…

And what of Evolution? Following his quick elimination and a brisk talking to by Stephanie McMahon, Triple H agrees that maybe he can’t go like he used to, or at least not for a prolonged time. He went from Lesnar to Cena to Ambrose to the Chamber and he is worn down and worn out. Remembering protégée Randy Orton’s former role as the ‘Legend Killer’, he offers Orton the chance to put one last legend away at Wrestlemania 30, saying that it may well be his last match and that he wants to go out against another company man and a man he brought into the company. Batista is enraged, he came back to get revenge against Ambrose on Triple H’s behalf, then backed Triple H in the Chamber, and this is the thanks he gets? Just Trips playing favourites? Batista manages to rage his way into making this one a triple threat between all members of Evolution at Wrestlemania 30

Dean Ambrose is not in the main event of Wrestlemania 30, despite his best efforts. In his two years here he has defeated anyone who might be worth taking down at Wrestlemania, beating Foley, Triple H, Cody Rhodes, Cena, Bryan, Batista. Who is left? What mountain is left to climb, what world left to conquer? Cue the gong and the blue lights and Ambrose laid out flat after a Tombstone. The next week, Ambrose laughs. He told us he had a plan, didn’t he? And that we’d wish he was in the main event instead? He has faced death, stared death in the face and dared it to take him his entire career. And what he learned was that death can be beaten, that in strange eons, even death may die…

The return of Sting has seen him come face to face with Cena twice, Cena coming out on top the first time by way of pepper spray, Sting the other by way of baseball bat. But there will be no tools, there will be weapons, there will only be two icons, face to face, in the first match of Sting’s WWE career, at Wrestlemania 30

The Hall of Fame Class of 2014 sees The Ultimate Warrior, Jake Roberts, Lita, Paul Bearer, Carlos Colón and Mr. T inducted and everyone looks forward immensely to hearing about Mr. T’s mother for an hour or so.

Cody Rhodes does not feel good about his reign as World Heavyweight Champion. He is full of uncertainty and self-doubt, given the way he won the title and the ways he has retained it. He knows this is a big chance in his career, and he feels that he is at risk of being over-looked and written off as a champion, that he may never get this chance again. Dolph Ziggler won the WWE title at last year’s Wrestlemania and has, since losing it, become an after-thought. Together, they agree to steal the show at Wrestlemania 30, and to the victor goes the spoils, the World Heavyweight Championship…

The Wyatt Family continue their war against Bryan, Reigns and Lee in the run up to Wrestlemania 30. After Bryan made the save, or at least attempted to make the save for old friend Roman Reigns, Roman talks AJ into giving Bryan a chance, a conversation, warming to him a little. Maybe he really has changed, you know? Bryan is overjoyed that she agrees to this, but this joy is overwhelmed a little by the fact that they are being overwhelmed a lot by the numbers advantage that the Wyatts hold. Luckily, Roman knows someone, bringing his cousin The Rock back to even up the numbers. Two matches are born of the Wyatt Family’s war with this odd bunch: a six-man tag seeing The Rock tag with Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan against Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper and Erick Rowan and a no-disqualification bout between Paige and AJ Lee over the Diva’s Championship. Come Wrestlemania 30, it will be war…

Wrestlemania 30

Wrestlemania 30 starts off with Triple H, Randy Orton and Batista engaging in the kind of heavyweight fare that is becoming increasingly rare in WWE these days. Three way test of strength, Orton kicks Batista in the gut and punches Trips in the face, and we’re off. Punch to Batista, then turn to take a short-arm clothesline from Triple H, which puts him in place for a side suplex from Batista. Orton is back in the game with a running neckbreaker to Batista, but Batista blocks a suplex and hits one of his own. Turns to take a high knee from Triple H, then a clothesline. Orton puts Trips in a sleeper, setting up an impressive spot where Batista belly-to-bellies Trips, bringing Orton along for the ride. Orton knee’d outside by Batista, who has a clothesline and a suplex for Triple H. Batista stays on top of Trips with punches that push him to the corner, where he repeatedly jams his shoulder in Trips until he is rolled up by Orton for one. Batista back up, he takes a DDT from Orton. Triple H has recovered enough to hit a hangman’s neckbreaker on Orton, then drop a knee on Batista. Orton rolls outside as Triple H works over Batista, keeping the big man grounded. He slowly powers up, pushing Triple H to the ropes and off, dropping him with a shoulder block. Orton tries to come back in with a top rope crossbody, but Batista catches it into a powerslam for two. Batista tries to Batista Bomb Orton, but gets clotheslined in the back of the head by Triple H, bowling him over Orton and to the outside. Orton is still bent forwards, so Triple H tries for a Pedigree, but Orton backdrops him out, over the top rope and onto Batista, then climbs the turnbuckles to hit a crossbody onto both men outside. WWE style brawling outside, with Orton whipped into the guardrail and Triple H into the ring steps, both by Batista. Teest pulls Orton back into the ring, where he is hit with two clotheslines, but manages to pull a dropkick out to fight off the third. Randy Orton headlocks and chinlocks time! Ends with Triple H pulling Orton off to hit him with a knee plant facebuster, then drop an elbow on him before turning to Batista and suplexing him. Trips lines Batista up for a clothesline, but Batista answers with a spinebuster. Batista drops Orton with a clothesline then prepares to do the same to Trips, but is caught with a spinning spinebuster, cover, Batista gets the ropes. Trips chokes Batista against the ropes, but is turned around by Orton who knocks him back into the corner with punches, climbing up for ten but being interrupted by a Batista Bomb! Batista covers, Trips breaks it up. Batista and Triple H trading punches, Trips is knocked onto the apron but pulls Batista out there by his head. They trade shots on the apron, but are each kicked in the gut by Orton, who pulls them both over the second rope and hits an elevated DDT on each of them! Orton waits for either of them to stand first, and it is Batista who is in line for an RKO. Cover, but Trips breaks it up. Pedigree attempt, but Orton backdrops out, dropping Trips onto Batista. Trips up with the help of the ropes and Orton goes for a clothesline, but Trips backdrops him over the top rope. Punches and kicks to Batista’s head, but this only enrages him and he charges Trips into the corner, where he smashes Trips with shoulder rams and punches, before pulling him up to the top rope for a superplex. Orton takes offence to his father’s move being used and climbs the turnbuckles to sunset-flip powerbomb Batista in a Tower of Doom variant. Orton lines Triple H up for an RKO, but has ignored Batista, who reaches his feet first and spears Orton through the ropes. Triple H is staggering groggy on his feet as Batista gets back in. Batista has a spear for Triple H, then a Batista Bomb and a three count. Batista poses on the turnbuckles and stomps up the ramp. Triple H gets to his knees, holding his head. Orton comes in and they share a look. This wasn’t how the match should have gone.

More of the heavyweight style and another big match: John Cena is coming down the ramp, which means that Sting is out after him. The two stand in the ring, soaking in the atmosphere and pacing each other. They tie up and Sting gets Cena in a headlock, then knees him in the ribs and hip-tosses him. Cena up, big chops across his chest, pushing him back to the corner. Irish whip by Sting, reversed, Cena runs into an elbow, then takes a second rope cross-body from Sting. Sting paces the downed Cena, taking in the “You’ve Still Got It!” chants. Sting puts Cena in a sleeper hold, but Cena hoists him onto his shoulders. Sting drops out of a far-too-early attempt at the A-A and peppers Cena with punches, so Cena rakes the eyes and puts a boot in Sting’s gut, setting up a DDT, which connects. Cena on top now with kicks and punches and basic ground holds, setting up a comeback of elbows, punches and a suplex. Cena escapes to the corner, but is hit with a Stinger Splash. Sting hits the ropes for a one-handed bulldog, but Cena ducks out and hits a Proto-Bomb, covering for two. Cena looks at the downed Stinger and laughs, shaking his head. He walks to the other end of the ring and mockingly does the Sting yell, but turns around into a jumping clothesline. Sting leaves the ring and pulls Cena out by the leg, whipping him towards the barrier, but it is reversed and Sting crashes into the barrier. Cena in after him with a clothesline, then a whip rib-first into the apron. Punches to Sting’s head, then rolls him in. Cena up to the top rope for the West Newbury Jam, connects, cover, only two! Cena pulls Sting to the middle of the ring, stopping to ask the ref “this is who the big deal is all about?”, he waves his hand in front of his face and hits the ropes, to be pulled down to a Scorpion Deathlock! Cena grabs Sting’s hair and rolls him up before Sting can apply the hold, but Sting kicks at one and is back up, punching, chopping and kicking Cena back to the ropes. Sting whips Cena off the ropes and drops his head for a backdrop, but Cena hits a piledriver, dropping Sting for two. Cena pulls Sting up for the Attitude Adjustment, but Sting drops out the back and hits a Scorpion Deathdrop. Sting flops an arm over Cena’s chest, but Cena kicks. Double-down until six, “Boo/Yay!” punches, Cena gets hit by a clothesline but it doesn’t seem to faze him and he kicks and punches Sting into the corner. Cena lifts Sting up to the top for a superplex, but Sting headbutts his way out of it, shoving Cena off the top rope, back into the ring. Sting stands atop the turnbuckles and, as Cena stands, leaps off for a diving DDT, getting two. Sting is slowly up, but able to lock on the Scorpion Deathlock. Cena crawls and just barely makes it to the ropes. Sting breaks at one and watches Cena slowly get up, using the ropes, facing away from Sting. Sting pulls Cena back by his head, yanks his head back and hits a second Scorpion Deathdrop for one, two, three! Sting has emerged victorious at his first Wrestlemania!

Up next is the hardcore bout for the Diva’s Championship. Paige and AJ stare each other down at the start and shove each other. Paige grabs AJ by the hair and pulls her close to growl “you’re mine”, but AJ headbutts Paige, then hits a flurry of elbows, knees and kicks that bounce Paige back to the ropes, which she comes off with a clothesline. Neckbreaker follows, then blatantly choking AJ while smiling sweetly at the powerless ref. AJ pulled up for a DDT, gets two. Paige pulls AJ up by the hair and brings a knee into her face, staggering her backwards. Paige comes in for a clothesline, but AJ gets a rana as a counter, sending Paige between the second and third ropes. AJ follows out with a suicide dive, then throws Paige into the ring steps and dropkicks her against them. AJ goes back to the other end of the ring, climbs the apron and runs off for a tornado DDT. AJ pulls Paige up, but Paige hits a jawbreaker, then suplexes AJ back-first onto the barrier. Paige pulls AJ up by the hair and brings several knees into her face, then bulldogs her onto the ring steps. Paige stands atop the steps and waits for AJ to stand, then scores a double axe-handle. AJ swung by the hair into the barrier, then thrown into the ring. Paige climbs the top rope for a cross-body, but AJ counters with a dropkick. Double-Down for four, back up trading punches and kicks. AJ ducks a haymaker from Paige and hits a Northern Lights suplex for two. Paige rolls out of the way of a Shining Wizard and hits an enzuigiri. Chokes AJ against the bottom rope, standing on her shoulders. Paige then goes outside and gets a table, bringing it back into the ring. Paige wears AJ out with a cloverleaf, her knees in AJ’s back. Paige sets up the table, then pulls AJ up for a suplex, but AJ floats over behind and hits a bulldog. Running neckbreaker on Paige, then Paige is set up on the table and put through it with a moonsault. Cover gets two. AJ rolls away from Paige and, on all fours, stares at Paige. AJ runs at Paige and kicks off the top turnbuckle for a tornado DDT, again, for two. AJ slowly makes it up the ropes for another moonsault, but Paige gets her knees up. Paige guillotine chokes AJ, but AJ manages to roll under the bottom rope. Paige follows out and DDTs AJ on the apron. Paige pulls AJ back into the ring, whips her to the corner and works her over with kicks, before going running out and somersaulting back for a back-elbow. AJ dodges and hits a dropkick. AJ rolls out of the ring and gets a chair from under it, tossing it over the top rope. AJ climbs the top turnbuckle and tries for a bulldog, but Paige dodges. Backbreaker on AJ, Paige holds onto her, pushing her chin down and applying wrenching pressure to the back and throat. Paige then pulls AJ up and hits the Ram-Paige onto the steel chair, covering for three. Paige has regained the Diva’s Championship!

The Wyatt Family are up next as well, pitted against Daniel Bryan, Roman Reigns and The Rock. The match progresses in two halfs: in the first, Bryan does the heavy lifting, working hard and fast, then getting caught by a cheap shot or distraction, then playing face-in peril against the Wyatts, making a hot tag to Roman for his explosive spots or to Rock for the nostalgia spots. Inevitably, the match breaks down into a wild brawl, giving Bray the chance to be a terrifying psycho, Bryan and Harper the chance to fling themselves around with wild abandon, Rock the chance engage in attitude-era brawling and letting Roman stick to spots. It also lets Rowan…be present, I guess? The finish is a decisive win for the faces: with Rowan down in the middle of the ring, Rock goes for the People’s Elbow. Harper tries to get in to stop it, but gets caught with a Superman Punch that sends him outside. At the same time, Wyatt is trying to re-enter the ring, but Bryan sends him off the apron with a flying knee strike. The People’s Elbow connects and the faces come out on top for a feel-good bout where Roman and Rock’s limitations are well hidden by the structure.

Feel-goodery continues as the Hall Of Fame Class of 2014 come out and take their bows. The Ultimate Warrior, Jake Roberts, Lita, Paul Bearer’s sons, Carlos Colón and Mr. T all come out and take their bows.

Cody Rhodes is out next to defend the World Heavyweight Championship against Dolph Ziggler. The two shake hands to start things off, then transition straight from the hand shake into a quick chain wrestling exchange that moves into a series of roll ups ending in a Cody Rhodes roundhouse kick to Ziggler’s head. Ziggler is pulled up for a suplex, but Ziggler drops out the back and hits a neckbreaker. Ziggler gets running with clotheslines and dropkicks, Cody rolling out of the ring to collect himself. Ziggler charges to the top turnbuckle, but Cody springs onto the apron and up to the top, hitting a flying rana back into the ring. Leg lariat sends Ziggler to the corner, where he is lifted up for a superplex. Ziggler is able to shift his weight into a cross-body for two. Ziggler lines Rhodes up for a superkick, but Cody ducks under it. German suplex, but Ziggler lands on his feet. Cody turns fast, hands up, Ziggler’s hands up. Crowd expresses their appreciation and we go back to chain wrestling, Ziggler winding up on top. Cody is pushed against the ropes and whipped off them, then pulled back into a jumping DDT. Ziggler climbs the ropes and hits a flying clothesline for two. Ziggler pulls Cody up for a suplex, but Rhodes drops out the back and hits a neckbreaker of his own. Knee drop and a clothesline for Ziggler, then an arm-bar, transitioned into a surfboard. Ziggler is released next to the ropes and kicked repeatedly against them. Rhodes goes for the Disasterkick, but Ziggler rolls away and Rhodes crashes and burns outside, then, just as he’s recovered his footing, takes a suicide dive. Rhodes thrown back in, Ziggler up on the apron, springboards off the top for another DDT. Cover gets two. Ziggler goes up top for a moonsault, but Rhodes is able to catch it into a powerbomb for two. Ziggler is just reaching his feet when he is caught with a brutal lariat for two. Side-headlock on Ziggler, who works it into a pinning situation for him, which Cody counters into one of his own, and so on. Both reach their feet together and immediately start tearing into each other with forearms. Cody whipped into the corner and hit with a Stinger Splash. Ziggler goes for the Zig-Zag but Cody dodges to the outside and slingshots over the top rope for a sunset flip, dropkicking Ziggler in the face when he kicks out. Cody up top for a moonsault, connects, gets two. Second rope kneedrop, then a running bulldog on Ziggler. Sets up for the Disaster-Kick, this time it connects, but only gets two. Cody pulls Ziggler up for a Cross-Rhodes, but Ziggler keeps turning and gets a gutbuster. Cody reaches his feet in time to take a superkick for two. Ziggler scouts Rhodes for the Zig-Zag, but Rhodes is able to grab onto the ropes, blocking himself from falling. Spinning elbow from Rhodes is immediately followed up by an elbow of the bionic variety. Ziggler crumples. Rhodes pulls Ziggler up by the head, but takes a jawbreaker, then a pop-up headscissors. Cody staggers up to his feet and takes a Zig-Zag. Ziggler covers and there’s the three count. Dolph Ziggler has claimed the World Heavyweight Championship! Ziggler waits for Rhodes to stand and offers a handshake. Rhodes pulls Ziggler in for a hug instead and raises his arm in a show of respect.

Dean Ambrose is up next against The Undertaker, looking to break the streak. Ambrose comes down first, and when Undertaker’s entrance theatrics are going on, Ambrose just smirks. He starts the match off by walking across to The Dead Man and slapping him across the face. Taker comes out with big punches, sending Ambrose reeling until Ambrose comes back with a jumping headbutt. Taker staggers, but does not fall. Taker is bent over and Ambrose decides to kick him really hard in the face. This still doesn’t drop Taker, so Ambrose hits the ropes to try it again, but takes a big boot. Elbow drop on Ambrose, then Taker rakes his arm across Ambrose’s face. Taker lifts Ambrose up and delivers Snake Eyes on him. As usual, Taker hits the ropes for a running big boot follow up, but Ambrose rolls under the bottom rope and Taker winds up hanging his leg over the top rope. Ambrose scurries around and pulls Taker outside by the leg, his head knocking against the apron. Taker is leant against the ring steps, trying to recover, but Ambrose keeps kicking him in the face and chest. Ambrose breaks the count and goes back to it. Breaks the count again, and this time goes to the other end of the ring, climbs the apron and runs along it. He’s going for a clothesline off the apron, but he gets caught with a chokeslam. Taker slings Ambrose across the apron and runs along to hit his apron leg-drop. Back in to break the count, then hits the opposite ropes and comes back, diving over the top rope to smash into Ambrose, both crashing across the announce desk. Taker reaches his feet first and barely manages to break the count. As Taker comes back out, he finds that Ambrose has climbed onto the shaken announce desk and is jumping on him with a flurry of punches. Ambrose breaks the count, then grabs a cable knocked loose during the Taker dive or the Ambrose launch, either way, he wraps it around Taker’s throat, only stopping when the ref makes it clear he will call for the bell if Ambrose does not release right now. Ambrose breaks the count again, and runs along the apron for the Cactus Elbow. Ambrose rolls back in and waits, confident in having put Taker away, but Taker crawls in at six. Ambrose goes at Taker with stomps, but Taker is rising. Ambrose switches to knees, but Taker is rising. Ambrose switches to punches and headbutts, but still, Taker is rising. Soup Bone Punches have Ambrose staggering away and taking a running DDT. Ambrose is whipped to the corner and Taker prepares him for Old School. As Taker begins to walk, however, Ambrose jumps to the top turnbuckle and bounces off it, dropping onto his back to arm-drag Taker across the ring. Ambrose charges at Taker with a clothesline that staggers him, then comes from behind with a chop block, dropping him. Ambrose locks on a Cloverleaf, but Taker is able to power up and flip Ambrose over into a pin. Both slowly to their feet, Ambrose peppering Taker with punches, Taker responding with a few big ones that send Ambrose reeling. The third of these is met with a Rebound Clothesline that stumbles Taker, followed by a discuss clothesline that drops him flat. Ambrose stands over Taker and locks on a Dragon Sleeper. Taker struggles, but cannot escape. The ref lifts his arm up, it drops. He lifts his arm up, it drops. He lifts his arm up, it drops. He turns and calls for the bell. The fans stare in disbelief. The streak has ended, and in such a subdued manner.

The ref turns back to raise Ambrose’s arm, then he sees it: Taker got his foot on the rope, just the edge of it, at some point between the first and third arm-drop. He turns back around and calls for the match to be restarted. Ambrose shoves the ref violently, knocking him down, but there is nothing he can do. Whichever way this one ends, it hasn’t yet. Shaking with rage, he slaps himself repeatedly across the face and wakes himself back up. The Deadman is just that: Dead. He pulls Taker up, with great effort, they are heavier than broken hearts, after all, and into position for The Human Cost, snapping Taker down into the mat. He covers and the ref resentfully counts, but the arm shoots up at the last second. The Deadman is rising. On all fours, he gets a knee dropped on his head by Ambrose, Ambrose leaving the knee on the back of his head, pinning him to the mat. Stomps and an elbow drop, then up to the top rope for an elbow drop, but Taker avoids it. Taker up with big punches to Ambrose that send him back into the corner and this time, Old School connects. Ambrose is bent over, the perfect positioning for a Last Ride. Cover gets two, but Ambrose barely kicked: time for a Tombstone. Connects, one, two, barely up on the shoulder. Taker lifts Ambrose for a second Tombstone, but Ambrose slips out and sits on Taker’s back for a sleeper. Taker falls down to one knee and Ambrose gets his feet on the mat, transitioning to a side headlock and pulling Taker up higher for a Human Cost, but Taker gets a sidewalk slam to put Ambrose down. He pulls Ambrose up by the head, but Ambrose kicks him in the gut and hits a DDT. Taker crawls into the corner, pulling himself up by the ropes. Ambrose climbs the turnbuckles, smashing punches down across Taker’s head and getting Last Ride’d for his troubles. Cover for two. Tombstone attempt, but Ambrose is able to switch it around into a Human Cost. Cover, one, two, three. Dean Ambrose runs his hands through his hair, giggling maniacally, as the ref calls for the bell and 21-1 appears on the screen. Dean Ambrose has ended the streak. Ambrose gleefully heads up the ramp and backstage, as the fans come to terms with it and give Taker a massive ovation.

Comedy, adverts and time-wasters aplenty: there’s a main event to come, but these people are not ready for that right now.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, your main event of the night and of the story: Seth Rollins vs CM Punk vs Brock Lesnar for the WWE title.

It’s good. Like, really good.

The End.

OKAY, FINE.

Seth Rollins comes out first, pacing around the ring agitatedly. Living Colour are here, in person and, yes, Living Colour to perform Cult of Personality and out comes CM Punk, declaring it Clobbering Time, looking cocky and confident. And then comes The Beast. The three stand, eyeing each other. Seth looks anxious but determined. Some of the cockiness has come off Punk. Brock is cold, analytical, looking both his former partners over and bouncing up and down on his feet. Suddenly, he crouches and feints diving for Punk, only to shoot in and take Rollins down, hammering away at him with nasty ground and pound punches. Punk watches for a while, then shrugs and kicks Lesnar in the side of his head, bringing knees into his face as he turns around. Lesnar stands up, disregarding Punk’s attack and picking Punk up to slam him down with a standing spinebuster. Lesnar yanks Punk to his feet and holds him in place for repeated knee lifts and it is obvious Punk would have folded up if it weren’t for Lesnar holding him upright. This brutality is broken up by Seth Rollins, who springboards off the top rope for a dropkick to the back of Lesnar’s head. Lesnar and Punk both fall, Lesnar by the ropes, which he is then dropkicked through. Sensing that he has Lesnar on the run, Rollins runs and leaps to the top turnbuckle, bouncing off it and turning in mid-air into a cross-body. He heads to the other side of the steps and runs up, using the steps as a springboard for a DDT. He’s looking pretty pleased with himself, and it is at this moment that he takes a CM Punk to the face. Punk lifts Rollins up and whips him into the ring post, then starts kicking away at Lesnar, who is already standing. Lesnar is getting rocked a little by these kicks, but manages to grab Punk’s leg and deliver an exploder suplex into the barrier. He turns to Rollins, taking his arm and head in one hand each and running his shoulder into the ring post, back away from it, back into it, then throwing him back in the ring, arm draped across the apron. He pulls Rollins’ arm up and jumps, landing on his knees, bringing Rollins’ shoulder hard and fast into the apron, clearly Lesnar has the Kimura in mind for Rollins’ end. He follows Rollins into the ring and sets him up for a German suplex, but Rollins lands on his feet behind Lesnar and manages to headscissors him through the ropes as Lesnar turns. Rollins runs to the opposite ropes and comes back, sentonning onto Lesnar. No time to bask or enjoy, he sees Punk on the other side of the ring, so re-enters and charges to that side for a senton. He brings Punk back into the ring and works at him with kicks. Punk is staggered, but ducks a dropkick and gets in close to Rollins, putting him in a clinch and bringing in the Muay Thai knees and elbows. This is going great for him, until Lesnar German suplexes him. Lesnar smashes Rollins out of the ring with a clothesline, then demolishes Punk with another one, before pulling Punk up from the mat with a gutwrench powerbomb for two. Lesnar kneels over Punk and starts laying in the ground and pound. He is interrupted by Rollins with a running knee to the side of his head. Lesnar falls back and Rollins kicks desperately and fiercely away at him, then hits the ropes for a dropkick. Lesnar collapses into the corner, and Rollins lifts himself up by the top turnbuckle, dropping down, both feet in Lesnar’s chest. Rollins pulls Punk up and points to Lesnar. They move over and double suplex him, then hit the ropes on adjacent sides, Rollins with an elbow drop and Punk with a knee drop. Rollins clutches at his shoulder and Punk grins, abandoning their alliance to target Rollins’ shoulder with an array of submissions, always facing Lesnar. As Lesnar starts to get up, Punk kicks him really hard in the side of his head, something he’s had a lot of this match. Punk keeps doing it, just delivering these full force kicks to the side of Lesnar’s head, until Lesnar rolls out of the ring. Punk planchas over the top rope, but Lesnar catches him and runs him back-first into the ring post, then throws him through the barrier in front of the timekeeper’s area. Lesnar is walking away, pleased with himself, when Rollins dives through the second and third ropes hooking Lesnar’s head as he does, in a suicide dive tornado DDT, Lesnar landing by the Spanish Announce Desk. Rollins clears the desk and tries to lift Lesnar up to get him onto it, but this is asking far too much of his poor shoulder, and he drops Lesnar. Lesnar lifts Rollins up by the waist and slings him into the Spanish Announce Table, which is crushed by the impact. Lesnar rolls Rollins into the ring and elbows his shoulder once more, twice more, thrice more, CM Punk uses the ring steps as a launch-pad for a knee to Lesnar’s head. Lesnar is leaned against the ring post, absorbing punch after punch from Punk, until he’s able to shake himself back into the fight with a shove that sends Punk flying through the air, crashing on his back next to the Awful Human Beings announce table. Lesnar clears the table and pulls Punk up for an F-5, but Punk is able to slip out and bring knees into Lesnar’s face until he collapses back onto the table. Punk climbs onto the apron, then onto the top turnbuckle, delivering his Randy Savage tribute through the English Language table. Both men are slow to rise from the wreckage, but when they do, their reward is Rollins delivering a springboard corssbody onto both of them. Rollins and Lesnar are the first up, Lesnar throws Rollins by his head so that his back smacks into the ring apron. He lies in a broken heap as medics swarm him. Lesnar, laughing, pulls Punk up by the hair and throws him back into the ring. He scoops Punk up for the F-5, but Punk is able to escape. Not capitalise or counter, but escape. Lesnar comes in for a belly-to-belly, but Punk headbutts him hard as he can, then kicks Lesnar like he’s aiming to break a rib, again and again. Neckbreaker barely even puts Lesnar down for one. Knee drop, then the Anaconda Vice. He briefly looks like he might be onto something with that, but Lesnar doesn’t find it hard to power to the ropes. The Go To Sleep it will have to be, but first a Pepsi One, as Lesnar is using the corner to get back to his feet. The knee connects, but when Punk goes for the bulldog, Lesnar is able to hoist him up for an F-5. Connects and Punk hits the canvas hard, but he’s too close to the ropes and able to get his foot on the bottom one. Lesnar is pulling Punk to the middle when he learns that Rollins has been cleared to re-enter the match the hard way: in this case via a top rope hurracarana. Jumping Enzuigiri sends Lesnar over the top rope and Rollins goes for a Curb Stomp on Punk, only for Punk to dodge out of the way at the last second and kick Rollins legs out from under him. Rollins in the Anaconda Vice, but Lesnar is back in, pulling Punk up for a German suplex, then another, then another. Punk is a heap in the corner and Lesnar advances on Rollins, but Rollins hits a Pele Kick, then a snap DDT. He lines Lesnar up for a Curb Stomp and it connects, but Lesnar kicks! Punk returns to the action with a clothesline for Rollins, then pulls Lesnar up and connects with the Go To Sleep. Cover, but Rollins breaks it up! Rollins running powerbombs Punk into the corner, which he flips over, falling to the outside. Rollins grabs at his shoulder and falls to one knee in pain, but lets out a furious, primal yell and wills himself forward and up to the top turnbuckle, coming off it with a Phoenix Splash on Lesnar for one, two, three! Seth Rollins has claimed the WWE Title from Brock Lesnar in the main event of Wrestlemania!

End of Part Six.

Written by

Creator, editor and semi-sorta-retired original author of Rewriting The Book, husband, father of three, gamer, lover of 90's MTV animation.
2 Responses to "Re-Writing The Book: The (Unpublished) Novel, Part VI"
  1. Autrach Sejanoz says:

    Great work!

  2. Mister Forth says:

    Interesting stuff.

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