I can’t believe it’s been over two years since I began writing these silly Jobber of the Week columns. Nor can I believe that it’s been almost that long since the most requested prelimmer of all time has been reposted!
The year was 1979. While the Bob Backlunds and Harley Races of the wrestling world were busy redefining the word “champion” to a generation, a youngster from St. Petersburg, Florida was set to make his wrestling debut, and in the process redefine the term “enhancement talent.”
After being groomed by Boris Malenko, Barry would be ready to enter the wacky world of pro wrestling. Right off he would initially display two traits. One, he would have more aliases than Jennifer Garner. Two, he would travel to more areas than a nomad on a crank binge. Using the names Barry or Brett Hart (aka the “Excellence of Ineffectiveness”) he would make many regional stops, including forgettable stints in Vince McMahon Sr’s WWWF as well as the NWA Mid-Atlantic area.
By the mid-80′s he would end up in the Florida area and that is where the infamy would begin. Now known as Jack Hart, he would embark on a losing streak of unheard of proportions. Poor Jack would find himself on the losing end of 131 consecutive matches. OUCH!!! Obviously needing some direction, he would join Percy Pringle’s (aka Paul Bearer) stable of goons including Rick Rude and the Assassin. With Percy’s help he stopped the losing streak and defeated Mike Graham for the coveted Florida heavyweight title. Now known as “The Stretcher,” he would enjoy a brief reign as champ before finally making his way back to the big time: the WWF.
In the WWF in late 87, now known as Barry Horowitz, he would soon take on the traits we all know and love. Butt ugly suspenders…yep. Displaying more patting action with his right hand than most chronic masturbaters…oh yeah. Oh, and one more thing. The complete inability to get his hand raised in victory. But all was not bad though.
He was starting to gain a level of notoriety. Barry would appear in the “If You Only Knew” video off of the Piledriver album. And then in 1989, perhaps the only collectible hotter on eBay right now than the Outback Jack action figure would arrive. Yes, finally the Barry Horowitz trading card the world had long awaited would be issued.
By 1990, Barry (and his new ring jacket with a silhouette of his hand on the back) had made his way to Turnerland. Among some of his memorable moments in WCW included a move that still makes Terry Gordy want to turn in his grave. Barry would become an honorary Freebird for a night. However, one look at Horowitz along with Freebird sidekick Rocky King caked in makeup, you might think the term “Fruitbird” to be more appropriate.
Nevertheless, thanks to interference from Hayes and Garvin, Barry would unbelivably score the winning pinfall in the six-man tag match over the Renegade Warriors. He would also see main event time against world champ Sting. Despite help from everyone’s favorite bumbling magician, the Black Scorpion, Barry would come up short once again.
By the winter of 92, frequent flyer Barry had arrived in the infamous GWF, based out of Texas. Talk about hot streaks, Horowitz would actually win two matches in a row. That prompted him to supposedly try to start selling a tape of those two wins for $50. 00, much to the dismay of the announcers. When all was said and done, Barry, now dubbed “The Winner, ” would defeat Jerry Lynn and leave the GWF a two-time light heavyweight champion. Good god, somebody stop him!!!!
In 1993 Barry headed back to the WWF where it didn’t take him long to remember what he excelled at – laying down. It was losing as usual for the next few years until that infamous moment in the summer of 95. Facing the newcomer Skip (Chris Candido) of the Bodydonnas, you had to figure another quick loss coming up for Barry, right? In the biggest upset since, well, um, Jack Hart vs. Mike Graham, Barry cradled the showboating Skip for the upset 3 count.
Besides killing off Candido’s career, this did two other things. One, judging from crowd response it appeared a long-deserved big push was on the way for Barry. Two, strangely outside the ring, the man we all knew and loved suddenly looked like he transformed into Jameson’s Jewish ubernerd older brother.
Hey, nice watch and glasses. And the pocket protector is a nice touch too. Newfound dork gimmick aside, he would dominate all the matches with Skip, including the big blow-off match at SummerSlam 95. This angle would earn him the 1995 PWI “Most Inspirational Wrestler” Award.
Sadly, his push peaked there as the times were a changing. The underdog had to go. A new era of attitude was on the way. In 1997, Horowitz would head back to WCW for his last hurrah in the mainstream. He would become a mainstay on the jobber filled Saturday Night. In the next two years he would do everything from feud with upcoming midcarders to getting clubbed by “Hole In One” Darsow. However, by early 2000 WCW would cancel Saturday Night and Horowitz, along with a lot of lower-to-midlevel talent would disappear from the scene.
Today, Barry is still very active on the independent scene in his home state of Florida, as well as traveling all over the U. S. He now goes by his 123rd different nickname, “Mr. Technical. “A truer nickname there never was. Even after 25 years Barry is still in peak shape and gives his all for the fans. There’s an old cliche, “A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the ass.”
With Barry, you were always guaranteed to see both every night.