Time to vote – the 2012 Gooker Awards!

64 Submitted by on Sun, 06 January 2013, 21:25

Another 12 months of horrible wrestling is past us…and you know what that means: it’s time to vote for the absolute worst of the worst! What will win the 2012 Gooker Award?

Without further adieu, here’s the nominees!

The Various Loves of AJ Lee:

Want to simultaneously kill time on three hour Raws and a character that people at the beginning of the year actually liked? Then just put AJ Lee into every possible segment on the show as a lunatic skank who bounces from man to man for no logical reason!

Claire Lynch:

It appeared that AJ Styles and Dixie Carter were having an affair this year in TNA. As it turned out, AJ had actually impregnated a crack whore named Claire Lynch. How bad was it? The actress who played Ms. Lynch decided to quit TNA and go back to the Popeye ride at Universal Studios theme park. That says it all.

Farting Natalya:

Despite being on of their more talented in-ring women wrestlers, WWE could find nothing to do this year with Nattie Neidhart. So she began farting all over television. Really, no joke. One of the stinkiest angles you could every imagine.

Aces & Eights:

The never-ending saga of a gang of hoodlums who wanted to invade Impact Wrestling. Which they did, despite Hulk Hogan locking the doors to keep them out. Seriously, that was a major plot point.

Daniel Bryan’s 18 Second WrestleMania:

Coming into WrestleMania 28, Daniel Bryan was one of the hottest properties in WWE. His YES YES YES chants had caught on not only at wrestling shows, but major sporting events as well. So what does WWE do? Job him out to smilin’ Sheamus in 18 seconds.

The Zack Ryder-Eve Torres Love Affair:

You gotta feel for Zack Ryder. After being told for years that he needed to find a way to get himself over, he does just that via an incredibly entertaining YouTube show. He then gets his first major storyline…and is buried deep beneath the earth as the biggest geek on planet earth. Poor guy.

And that’s that! So who is the very worst of the very worst? The poll closes in just a couple weeks, so get your votes in! The ‘winner’ will be inducted February 1!


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64 Responses to "Time to vote – the 2012 Gooker Awards!"
  1. downwithOPC says:

    It’s the 10th Anniversary of Katie Vick winning the Gooker!

  2. Fred says:

    Is the John Cena/Kane feud from early 2012 being included in the “The Zack Ryder-Eve Torres Love Affair” entry?

  3. Wyatt says:

    I actually like Aces & 8s. It’s kinda wearing thin by this point, but I like the idea.

    I would’ve personally added (Lord) Tensai. That? Was unfortunate.

    • Justin Trichell says:

      What I love about the Mike Knox reveal is the wrongheadedness of it. Clearly TNA intended his involvement to solidify the threat that Aces and Eights is supposed to be, but unmasking them one by one completely undermines that threat. Mike Knox’s inclusion makes me take Aces and Eights less seriously, not more.

  4. Ding Dong says:

    The Yes! Yes! Yes! stuff for Bryan didn’t really properly catch on till the night after Mania, the fact that we were chanting it throughout the show was in protest to the crap they put him through the night before. After that it really took off and became a phenomenon. So whilst the 18 second match at ‘Mania was bad at the time, in the end it helped him get over to a point that no-one could’ve predicted.

    • Evan Waters says:

      Yeah, the paradox is that Bryan ended up getting over even more at the end of it all. Kind of a happy ending.

    • Bond says:

      That isnt true at all – Bryan caught fire BEFORE Mania, as evidenced by the ROH events where he was getting Face Heat, without even BEING THERE

  5. Brian McNail says:

    I think Claire Lynch should be inducted and the other stuff considered for the Gooker.

  6. Josh says:

    I was hoping Jeff Hardys telepathic promos would be an option

  7. Josh Dionio says:

    Zack Ryder/Eve Torres love affair, though it did bring us Rock singing how Cena was making out with Eve and her weave.

  8. Autrach Sejanoz says:

    Truth be told, I think the whole 18 seconds thing wound up helping him, ultimately. Sure, it had me swearing at the screen when it happened, but at least we eventually got Team Hell No out of it.

  9. George Nolan says:

    I likely would have gone with WWE exploiting Jerry Lawler’s heart attack considering they were insensitive enough to show footage of EMTs reviving him when he went through it.

  10. The Loosest Cannon says:

    The 18-second WrestleMania was really strike three when it came to the fans. First Daniel Bryan get fired for the tie-choking affair, then his match with Sheamus for the US title gets bumped off the WM27 card with no warning and finally get jobs out in 18 seconds. That was enough to turn the “YES! YES! YES” thing into a protest which is the worst thing a promotion can have (but is fun as hell to watch)/

  11. Jim says:

    Here are my thoughts on all (apologies for length):

    The three strongest candidates all involve romance, so you could perhaps go with a “Down With Love” entry and combine all three.

    1- Claire Lynch is a model Gooker- terrible idea (good guy AJ apparently having an affair with Dixie but actually being drugged/intoxicated and deceived into thinking he fathered a child with a drug user), dragged on for far too long with no progress (like Vickie’s “evidence” of AJ/Cena, only for six times as long), and then abruptly ended because the abysmal actress quit after getting real life blowback. This was so bad that Kaz and Daniels couldn’t help it, and they have been on fire this year.

    2- Zach Ryder/Eve: A solid candidate. Got Eve over as a massive heel (and then went nowhere because she idiotically revealed her plan while on camera), plus Ryder in the wheelchair should produce some good images/gifs (and buried his self-generated fan support). Plus, John Cena looks pretty weasely. And, yes, I would throw a bit of Kane in there, too.

    3- AJ Lee: Two issues: (1) How does this meet the calendar year thing if it is still going on? I doubt Ziggler is her last love. (2) This angle was so hot that she became GM of Raw, and she was pinging among four of the company’s biggest stars. The Cena/Punk/Bryan triangle definitely fizzled out, and it has now gone on for far too long, but this angle at least appeared to be popular for a time (as opposed to Claire Lynch, which was cringe-inducing after the first week).

    4- Aces & Eights- Gooker worthy for having done nothing (what is their purpose? It can’t be wrestling, because they lose nearly all of their matches, and most of their members are relative unknowns/lower card wrestlers) at an obscenely slow pace (excluding Anderson for now, THREE members have been revealed after seven months). However, unless the induction is limited to “the Year of 2012 is Aces & Eights”, I’m not sure how a current angle can be inducted.

    5- Farting Natalya- Worthy of an induction (like Molly Holly = Fat Ass) for its stupidity but not Gooker-worthy.

    6- 18 Seconds- Perhaps as an induction that did not focus on the aftermath (putting the World title in the opening WM match and having a match between two good wrestlers be that short was shocking in a bad way), but otherwise agree with Ding Dong/Autrach.

    My write in candidate would be James Storm’s misguided title quest: lost the title in late 2011 when Roode turned on him (a good angle so far), passed out in a rematch due to blood loss after being attacked by Kurt Angle, won a #1 contender’s match only to see it become a four-way match (which he lost), had to win and then defend another #1 contender spot only to lose the title match in his hometown in a cage match (good angle up until the finish, and then all downhill), 2-month hiatus where he talked to his daughter, lose Bound for Glory, win another #1 contender’s match only to lose it after putting it on the line when Roode weakly insulted his daughter). Now floating around Aces & Eights but out of the spotlight.

    Other comments- Heart Attack filming [from George] (despicable, but short and would not be fun to write, a la Eddie-sploitation), Jeff Hardy’s inner thoughts [from Josh] (silly and should be inducted, but not Gooker level).

    • George Nolan says:

      Yeah, but it was worth mentioning.

      If I did have to go with a pick that was a waste of time and not even remotely entertaining, I’d likely go with the Claire Lynch storyline as well. AJ Lee and the Aces and Eights storylines were interesting at first, but suffered from being too dragged out and not being as intriguing once things further developed with them, however they weren’t bad enough where I would fume over them. For a second place runner, I’d go with the Ryder/ Eve storyline. Sure it put Eve over as a major heel, but it also killed Zack Ryder’s huge push when he busted his ass off throughout 2011 to gain relevance and popularity with WWE fans. It really annoyed me when WWE took all the hard work Ryder had to do by himself and flushed it down the toilet by making him look like a tool to Eve.

      I don’t know why the Daniel Bryan 18 second loss incident is a pick though. That incident helped make Bryan more over with fans than he already was when he was a heel retaining the World Heavyweight Title.

  12. Ultimate Kennedy says:

    AJ Lee. A Cup Jailbait Lee. I hope she is oughta there so fast.

  13. Justin Trichell says:

    I voted for AJ Lee due mainly because of something I dubbed the Hornswoggle McMahon Precedent (i.e. an excruciatingly long angle that is STILL going on at the time of the Gooker voting cycle.) Although I can understand why Claire Lynch is winning. While the AJ debacle is simply amismanagement of talent and WWE clearly had no idea what to do with her, the Claire Lynch angle was dead on arrival. There was NO salvaging that story.

  14. Derick says:

    Claire Lynch being used as an excuse to give AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels their 411238th rematch.

  15. Ryan Smith says:

    I’m going with Claire Lynch; it was the definition of WrestleCrap to the nth degree. At least WWE pulled off the AJ Lee scandal(s) with a legit diva.

  16. Christian Colde says:

    Gonna have to go with Claire Lynch. Horrible premise, horrible acting, horrible implications about implied rape leading to questionable stipulations to matches… You’ll have fun writing the induction, RD; I know I would were I have to write it.

    I don’t see A&8 or the loves of AJ Lee qualifying, honestly. Farting Natty is induction worthy but in no way major enough for a Gooker while the overlooking of Zack Ryder and having an 18 second match at Wrestlemania with the best worker in the company just makes me MAD. That’s not campy crap you can laugh about, that’s just awful business decisions.

    Crap is getting a paternity test IF you win a match. Vote Lynch.

  17. Big Daddy Clone says:

    18 Seconds was the worst thing ever at the time, but ended up turning D-Bry from an upper mid carder into a permanent main event fixture and possibly the most over guy on the whole roster.

    Worst of the year in my eyes was Aces and 8s. It was all the bad parts of every single “invasion” storyline. Random reveals that make no sense, constant run-ins, no contest endings for major matches, and looooong dragged out storylines without any real ending in sight.

  18. C. Peter Roberts says:

    It’s gotta be Claire.

    The Ryder story is a close second, but at least its character focus was on actual wrestlers. The Lynch Saga gave a lot of television time to an actress…

    …who couldn’t act.

  19. The Gold Standard says:

    I’m amazed that the WWE’s no longer caring about action and caring about twitter/facebook/youtube/tout/whatever else didn’t make the list. That’s steaming wrestlecrap that is running the business into the ground

  20. Superstarl says:

    No way that Claire doesn’t take the gooker. Don’t get me wrong, these are all induction-worthy, but Claire Lynch was just its own special kind of bad.

  21. SolidGoldceo says:

    Claire Lynch didn’t change anything for the wrestlers involved and it still had good matches attached to it. Zack Ryder/Eve on the other hand took a self made guy and pretty much destroyed everything he worked for.

  22. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Where is Hornswoggle being revealed as the Anonymous RAW GM? That was simply awful and killed an angle there was potentially life in! It could have been revealed to be a good angle but is revealed to be the biggest heap of crap in Sports Entertainment today!

    • Evan Waters says:

      I’m honestly surprised not to see that on the list. “Who is the Anonymous GM” had long ceased to matter, to be sure, but it was still horrible.

      • Thomas Moffatt says:

        I felt it still had validity – I was holding out that it was going to be Stephanie “Nipple H” McMahon who was revealed as the anonymous RAW GM and had been the force behind the Nexus and the walkout, seeing as a big part of the Nipple H character is that she has been trying to seize control of the WWE for years this would have made sense…

        • Phil Melcher says:

          While Hornswoggle as the GM did actually make some sort of backwards sense. He couldn’t talk so he did it through a computer and had Michael Cole do it for him, caused trouble or HORNSWOGGLED people etc….well no etc. because those are the only 2 good examples I can think of, I’d have to call into question why Vince/WWE board of directors who I would think would have a voting share on these things would hire Crazy AJ Lee to run their biggest revenue stream and a guy who couldn’t verbally communicate…I know it’s a TV show but right there is a major hole when it comes to WWE creative.

    • Art0Donnell says:

      I will continue to defend the choice of Hornswoggle as GM, if only on the basis that he could not talk and thus needed to communicate via email. Of course, on the first episode of the Anonymous GM’s stint, the GM was talking to Vince on the phone. Also, there are probably some situations where Hornswoggle got put in harm’s way by the GM.

      Regardless, people were always really annoyed at the Raw GM, so who better than Hornswoggle?

      • Thomas Moffatt says:

        I could never defend anything with Hornswoggle in because it’s the most embarassing heap of shite in WWE today and is more than worthy of a WC induction alone – I actually think the embarassing Khali-Hornswoggle tandem should be considered for induction, too

  23. Time Lord Soundwave says:

    The really tragic thing about Bryan’s 18-second loss is that the match could’ve been given a decent length if they cut out that asinine Brodus Clay segment. That still chaps my scrotum!

    • Thomas Moffatt says:

      The 18 second loss would have worked better in the Cody Rhodes – Big Show bout considering the build up…

  24. Meh says:

    Zack Ryder’s repeated whining on Twitter.
    The Great Khali dressed in Ryder’s ring gear when he was part of Teddy Long’s team against Johnny Laurinaitis’s team.
    The Eric Bischoff Portapotty segment on TNA Impact Wrestling
    Hornswoggle as New Year’s Baby (On the New Year’s Eve WWE Raw)
    Hornswoggle revealed as the anonymous Raw General Manager

    All of these should have been on the 2012 Gooker Awards. But most of Ryder’s repeated whining on Twitter should have been on the poll.

    As far as Ryder goes he got what he deserved at the hands of Eve, Kane and Big Show in 2012.

    Ryder has poor mic skills, poor acting, a one-dimensional character and average (on a good day) ring skills. He’s fine where he is: A comedy midcarder who is used just enough to keep people buying his merch.

    He has no one to blame but himself. Instead of trying to get on TV with his lame youtube show he should have been spending that time training in the ring and working on his promos because he definitely wasn’t good enough to be on TV. He just forced WWE’s hand and made it even more obvious he had no business being on Raw with his bad matches and horrible acting.

    WWE gave him what he wanted and he proved he didn’t belong. I still remember his street fight against Kane where he is suppose to be selling the storyline but instead he is just smiling/laughing to himself because he cant act as Kane beats him up around the arena.

    Ryder spends every week crying like a baby on Twitter when he doesn’t make it on television that week. Hell, he even cried sometime in 2012 when he was on RAW because they skipped his entrance. Keep in mind the same episode they skipped Ziggler’s entrance and he didn’t cry to his followers. And you all wonder why WWE doesn’t want him on television every week as if his lack of talent and experience wasn’t enough to make that choice easy.

    Even when he’s on TV, he complains about not being on TV. This, and the fact his whole gimmick with Z!TLIS was complaining about not being on TV means WWE isn’t really going to jump at the chance to push a guy who complains about not being pushed. And when he stops complaining all you’re left with is horrible cheesy humour that gets old really fast even for Youtube.

    Honestly between watching promos and those backstage “The List” skits, Robbie E is 10x better than Ryder will ever be (for the record, Robbie E isn’t great himself, but the difference between the two is astounding).

  25. FormerlyFromTokyo says:

    Seeing AJ skip to the ring always made me turn off RAW…and not turn it back on again. Seriously, wtf? I only caught the tail-end of the Claire Lynch saga so I couldn’t think of anything that annoyed me more than the aforementioned.

  26. Lyle says:

    What about the WWE trying to get haters to cheer Cena by having Kane make fun of them and essentially say that people who boo Cena are losers? “Embrace the hate!”

    • BigPoppaNasty says:

      If there was a single phrase that could win a Gooker, it would be “Embrace the hate.” That phrase from Kane alone should have been up for the Gooker. I had such high hopes for returning masked Kane right away, then they faded, and then Team Hell No happened. I still think that they should have been called Team Friendship.

  27. Roaring Leg Kick says:

    Too bad we can’t just vote for Zack Ryder himself. He was the worst anything of 2012 by far.

  28. Long'un says:

    To be honest, it’s a bit of a weak selection. Despite being a pretty boring year, there wasn’t anything horrifically bad that ran for months and months or took loads of time out of a show. The Natalya farting angle should be inducted on its own, but isn’t really worthy of winning the award. The irony of course is that it was a terrible idea to begin with, but Natalya decided to have fun with it and seemed to be getting over, so they dropped it.

  29. John Darc says:

    I couldn’t decide on what to vote for until I read through the comments. Yes, you could possibly lump the AJ Lee/AJ Styles angles together, but Claire Lynch begat AJ Lee so it’s worse. And I don’t like any of the people involved as much as I did AJ at the time.

    Also, most of these storylines are still going on so I don’t think it’s fair to vote for them just yet.

    • John Darc says:

      Oh wait, shit! Zack Ryder’s burying is pretty terrible if only for the backstage blooper of Kane and Eve talking before “action” and him immediately chasing her into an ambulance. I don’t even like Ryder but that image of him in the wheelchair doing that “WTF Bro?” face gets me every time. That and when they broke his back, then made him walk to the ring from the ramp very slowly, then like a week later ignored that he was ever injured.

  30. downwithOPC says:

    You know, Clair Lynch to me feels like what Kane and Katie Vick’s unborn child would have turned out to be if it lived.

  31. wrestlingobscuirty says:

    Yea….I’m going to have to go with Claire Lynch for the winner this year. Hands down, but personally I’d put farting Natalya a close second. Why? Because that’s the best that a creative team could come up with, seriously?. At least Lynch story line took some thought, effort and was supposed to go somewher, but farting Natalya…? That’s not a story or a gimmick. That sounds like something a 7 year old would come up with.

  32. MAPS says:

    I am utterly shocked that Farting Natalya is not in front

    • Art0Donnell says:

      I’m glad for the sake of the other nominees that Farting Natalya isn’t upfront. She should be kept downwind at all times.

  33. Brian E says:

    While I understand the Claire Lynch angle was indeed stupid and pointless (and will most likely win the Gooker this year), I had to cast my vote for Farting Natalya. Simply put, it is the most juvenile, immature thing I have ever seen on WWE, and seeing how juvenile and immature have both found an occasional home on WWE over the last few years, it seems fair to put this up as the worst of the year. Fart jokes? Seriously, what genius came up with this angle?

    It’s been a year of stupid angles/characters/ideas, but my vote goes to Farting Natalya…because as you know, a fart is not too far off from a Crap. :p

  34. BigPoppaNasty says:

    A Gooker has to carry with it the weight that it’s absolutely horrible for all parties involved, gets no one over, makes fans either change or want to change the channel, and, now that there are so many, stands up against the other Gooker winners. Farting Natalya hits it out of the park for the first two criteria, is a wash for the third one (because every time the Divas are on I want to change the channel), and fails horribly in the fourth. Farting Natalya is in the same league as Katie Vick or David Arquette: WCW Champion?

    My vote has to go to Claire Lynch. Neverending, wrong kind of heat, baby daddy angle, matches to determine if Styles gets a paternity test, old feud that had a ridiculous twist thrown into it, Dixie Carter, terrible reveals, terrible acting, and a terrible ending. That’s just the stuff I’m immediately remembering about it.

    Hell, if you want a write in candidate, how about Hulk Hogan’s presence in TNA, his burial of Bully Ray’s once tremendous character, or Brooke Hogan’s presence. The Hogan/Bully/Hogan angle started in 2012, but I have a feeling that it will be a finalist for 2013’s Gooker.

  35. Kevin says:

    What about John “Super” Cena winning MitB? He wasted a push for a midcarder and ruined the MitB legacy by losing.

    • John Darc says:

      The stip of Cena’s MITB match was that every fighter was a former champ, so in terms of giving a mid carder a push, there wasn’t that much of a chance for that this time. Miz, maybe. But it was silly how few entrants there were in that match with that stipulation. Miz was a last minute addition anyway.

  36. Big J says:

    I really think that the AJ/Cena/Vicky angle should be the option instead of EVERYTHING AJ did, because once Vicky and Cena got involved, THAT is where everything went wrong. Everything AJ did before that catastrophe was fine.

  37. Henry says:

    I could have written in John Laurinaitis As GM as a gooker candidate because that was Stupid (when it was done by Him) But We need more GM that Despises the Fans and Claims he believes in People Power.

  38. steveweiser says:

    This will probably be the second year TNA gets the gooker award. I havent watched TNA since the beginning of 2010, so i missed the whole ”Claire Lynch” angle. I still cant wait for the induction! will be hilarious as always

  39. ReallyPeteGas says:

    other low points this year:

    AJ Styles “losing his smile” post claire lynch.

    abe washington calling kobe a rapist or whatever.

    tna women’s tag team championship, and how it’s held by a MAN who never defends because he’s filming a fishing show.

    great khali wearing a santa suit, brain chopping a jobber, then proceeding to sing christmas carol with little bastard.

    triple h’s “selling” his arm break, by bending his arm in a way i do 40 times a day.

    james storm asking santa what he asked for last year to make sure it was the real santa… and when he did not answer correctly, got his head super kicked off.

    alberto del rio hitting santa with a car, and the whole “miracle on 34th street FIGHT”

    anything to do with christmas and tna/wwe.

    the first unmasked guy from aces and 8’s that came out of the crowd, hit someone with a blackjack (no it wasn’t stevie ray) and was never seen, heard from, or discussed ever again.

    tara’s boyfriend.

  40. Jimbob Jones says:

    The fact that Claire Lynch is going to win show how “m’eh” WWE has been all year. It can’t even generate a good “bad” angle. TNA has been awesome DESPITE Claire Lynch (hopefully it means the same for 2013, especially with the PPV change)

  41. Rave says:

    Technically the A&8’s shouldn’t be up for the Gooker, for the sole reason that it’s still ongoing. Doesn’t really matter, I voted Claire Lynch. So much stupidity there, even if it did prove to everyone else that Chris Daniels is awesome at everything.

  42. The Fox says:

    I’ve gotta say the Zack Ryder/Eve Torres storyline. Zack worked so hard to finally get noticed by management and earn screen time, and then the WWE just buries him relentlessly, sending him back to jobber territory.

    Not to mention, Z! True Long Island Story is cancelled now, so who knows if he’ll even get another shot at the spotlight. A sad ending all around.

  43. Lyle says:

    Daniel Bryan losing in 18 Seconds was bad, but I don’t think it should win the Gooker. I feel that award should be for bad storylines or characters; something that happens in front of the fans. Daniel Bryan’s loss was bad for other, backstage reasons, so most of what made it awful didn’t happen in front of fans, so what is there to induct? It would be the shortest Gooker entry ever.

    As well, hindsight being 20/20, the match was beneficial to Daniel Bryan (and to a lesser extent Sheamus). As Bryan Alvarez said, the match ended up being better for Bryan than a 5-10 minute rushed match would have been.

  44. Phil Melcher says:

    As for the nominees…

    Funny how AJ jumped from guy to guy but she was booked to be crazy and asexual which I will say is different. I can’t really consider her to be Wrestlecrap.

    Claire Lynch’s description alone just screams Gooker winner but I never did see it since I don’t watch TNA that much.

    Farting Natalya was terrible. Not funny, didn’t get anyone over and was only dropped after a few weeks.

    Aces and 8’s is still ongoing and while it’s not been booked all that great there are still some directions it can go. So far there hasn’t been a really big hero who’s stepped up like Sting/Goldberg did with the nWo and John Cena did with Nexus.

    Bryan D. (or is it D. Bryan?) losing the belt in the first match at WrestleMania in 18 seconds was by far the single worst booked match at WrestleMania I’ve ever seen. Sheamus sucked as WHC.

    But my vote goes to the Zack Ryder/Eve angle. Eve got over in this angle as a heel but Ryder never did get his revenge, got the crap kicked out of him by Kane about 1,000 times, almost turned heel on John Cena (which of course made Ryder look like a putz) and Ryder did what WWE wanted him to do he got over his on own merits, brought attention to the product through social media, never got busted for a Wellness Policy violation is fan friendly and a good ambassador for the company and they crapped all over him! STUPID!

  45. Paul M says:

    Where’s the people power angle? That was the storyline on Raw for about three months and I can’t name one person that benefited long term from it.

    Not sure its enough to win, but it should at least be in the nominees.

  46. Mark Fanboy says:

    The induction to this year’s Gookie winner should read “Claire Lynch = TNA’s answer to Katie Vick.”

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