Induction: Stephanie vs. Vickie – Lie, Cheat, and Puke

33 Submitted by on Thu, 30 November 2017, 20:00

WWE, 2014

It was June 2014, and Vickie Guerrero was approaching the end of her long and unexpectedly successful tenure as an on-screen character and authority figure.

Now, I distinctly recall watching in person the previous summer as the McMahons fired Vickie from the Raw GM position. It was one of those oh-so-riveting performance reviews that WWE loves to center their major storylines around.

But somehow or another, Vickie was back in some kind of position of authority, subservient to The Authority (whose authority, as the name suggested, superseded all others’). Sadly, on one June 2014 episode of Raw, the once proud Guerrero woman found herself running errands for The Authority, such as fetching them coffee.

Waiting for her backstage that night was Roman Reigns, who had gotten on The Authority’s bad side and was thus excluded from that night’s qualifier battle royal for Money in the Bank.

In hopes of getting on her good side, Roman buttered Vickie up (now THERE’s a visual!), even calling the oft-ridiculed cougar, “beautiful”….

…thus inspiring that smarmy photo series that refuses to leave my news feed to this day.

And Vickie bought it, proving that a desperate woman will fall for any guy with a few slick lines and some big muscles, a chiseled jaw, piercing blue eyes, a long flowing mane…

Anyway, while I was distracted…

…and while Vickie left to find sweetener for the bosses’ coffees at Roman’s insistence…

…the Big Dog tampered with Triple H and Stephanie’s drinks.

What exactly did he slip into the coffee? Strychnine? Arsenic? And did Roman always carry a packet of poison with him, and he just finally found an opportunity to use it?

Vickie made her own contribution to the “Poison My Bosses” fund by sneezing on both the cups and shrugging it off.

Vickie gave Steph her coffee backstage, but an errant Triple H arm gesture sent The Game’s drink into Vickie’s face.

“What am I supposed to drink?” asked Triple H rhetorically, seemingly unaware that he could still drink the 80% that didn’t spill. Cerebral Assassin, my ass.

Unbeknownst to Triple H, though, he had just spared himself a good-natured poisoning from Reigns. His wife wasn’t so lucky.

In her case, Roman’s plan worked to perfection: Stephanie hit that sweet spot on the comedic poisoning spectrum, getting violently ill without dying.

Of course, Steph wasn’t on camera, so she had Vickie act as her humiliation surrogate, catching a stomach-full of digestive acids and foodstuffs.

Still, not as bad as Stephanie cutting a promo on you.

Steph and Trips left the building, leaving control of the show to Vickie, who, in her vomit-drenched discomfiture, let out a scream worthy of an Edvard Munch painting.

Roman convinced Vickie to go for broke and put him in the battle royal…

…which he won to send him to Money in the Bank.

It just proved that a superstar needs to take risks to get ahead. In this case, the risk was prison time, his bosses’ health, and Vickie’s job.

The next week, Stephanie was not happy. Soon, the greatest female heel in WWE history…

…came face to face with Stephanie McMahon, who ripped Vickie for being only a pity-hire in the wake of her husband Eddie Guerrero’s death. She had a point — imagine handing someone so incompetent such major corporate responsibilities for years and years just because of her last name!

Steph wanted to see Vickie prove just how sorry she was (The last time a McMahon made a female employee do this, it cost Linda two elections).

McMahon-Levesque continued to berate Vickie for being pathetic, making her look like a complete nothing…

…before offering to let Guerrero keep her job as Smackdown General Manager (so that was her job!)…

…provided she could defeat the Big Boss Lady in a match.

At last, Vickie found her backbone, invoking the Guerrero name and accepting the challenge.

Stephanie completely no-sold Vickie’s big babyface turn.

When the match came, Stephanie directed Vickie’s attention to a pool full of WWE”s favorite substance: unspecified smelly brown goop. You know, I can’t help but think how many classic calls like Michael Cole’s immortal, “The dog poop! The dog poop! A Rock Bottom into dog poop!” we are missing thanks to WWE’s corporate makeover.

With McMahon running the show, you knew it wouldn’t be a fair fight, featuring several lower-card Divas fighting on behalf of Stephanie. The three amigas teamed up to dump the Smackdown GM into the mystery vat…

…only for each one to be sent on a proverbial dark journey by Vickie Guerrero into the combination kiddie pool/toilet (otherwise known as a kiddie pool).

It must have been especially satisfying for Vickie to chuck Alicia Fox into the chocolate-banana pudding (I mean, smelly mess) after the vixen nearly wrecked her marriage to Edge back in 2008.

Unfortunately, it was Vickie’s turn once again to catch the idiot ball and stumble into the end zone with it…

…as she indulged in some “Yes!” chants…

…allowing McMahon to sneak-attack her with a running knee to the back.

Who taught her that one, we may never know.

Vickie was thus knocked into the dreaded tub of filth, which was appropriate, since the last person to co-opt the “Yes!” chants also came out on the losing end of a s*** match.

Stephanie fired Vickie with gusto…

…then celebrated with a rendition of “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye” that, unlike the title of that famous tune, was thankfully cut short.

Realizing what Vickie now had in mind, Stephanie desperately urged Vickie to spare her in exchange for WWE’s generous, non-existent retirement package.

Guerrero, standing up on behalf of every WWE viewer who had ever had to see Stephanie dance…

…chucked the Chief Brand Officer into the muck…

…where she wallowed in slow motion like some swamp creature.

As Vickie walked off into the sunset, she paid tribute to her late husband while half-covered in simulated feces, making this one of the more tasteful uses of Eddie’s legacy in WWE.

It’s unlikely you’ll ever see anyone get the upper hand on Stephanie like this ever again, however. After the year 2014, Stephanie transitioned to the once-a-year comeuppance plan…

…where her 365 days of running roughshod over the entire roster finally pays off in the form of her taking a totally inadvertent bump at the hands of one of her enemies.

But for one special moment that June, Vince McMahon’s obsession with bodily functions and fluids took precedence over the sycophancy of Stephanie’s writing staff.

Want to read about a match that was actually good and didn’t involve vomit or feces? Support Wrestlecrap on Patreon and read an exclusive new “anti-induction” by Art0Donnell – and much more!

Written by

A wrestling fan ever since the days of Wrestlemania IX, Art graduated from college in the same building where Art Donovan called King of the Ring 1994. He also runs the “How Much Does This Guy Weigh?” blog, where he reviews New Generation-Era Monday Night Raws. Follow him on Twitter @Art0Donnell.

Email at: art@wrestlecrap.com

33 Responses to "Induction: Stephanie vs. Vickie – Lie, Cheat, and Puke"
  1. lipe from chile says:

    Great induction, kind of short and to the point. To be fair, though, I don’t think that this angle is crap (besides the surface where the featured match was held), but a good way for Vickie to ride into the sunset, turning face and making us kind of miss her (there are few people who can elicit more good heel heat than her, curiously one of them is Roman Reigns)

    • Chris V says:

      The fact that Roman Reigns revealed that he carried around pills in his vest pockets was enough to warrant this for WrestleCrap.
      Who knows what other assorted things he has in those vest pockets to slip in to someone’s beverage….
      He’s the “top face” and the “creepiest guy on the roster”, something never before attempted in wrestling lore.

    • Captain Obvious says:

      “and making us kind of miss her”

      Speak for yourself. I do not nor will I ever miss Vickie Guerrero. The worst GM this side of Mike Adamle and (she was) overbearing to a fault. I was gleeful when Stephanie got her out of WWE. You’ll want to come over to my side on Vickie Guerrero especially if you’ll recall her match with AJ Lee on “RAW Country” back in 2012 or 2013, hands down the worst women’s match I’ve ever seen this side of Rebel-Shelly Martinez. It was meant as a comedy bit but failed miserably as did Vickie Guerrero IMO.

  2. C Boz says:

    I wonder if “knee in the back” was ever a favorite move by Savage when he and Ste….. Stop, I better edit myself now lest this get even more distasteful than the brown muck in the kiddy pool. Speaking of kiddy pool…

  3. Andy PG says:

    Man, it’s almost like Stephanie ran over your dog. We get it, you don’t like her and you think she ruins everything. Now find someone else to obsess over. Maybe Ed Leslie; he’s always good fodder.

    • Art0Donnell says:

      Stephanie did run over my dog, for all intents and purposes. Lucy was my world.

    • Walter Kovacs says:

      Well, if Steph didn`t keep popping up to humiliate the entire roster in storylines so often, it would be easier. It`s like complaining that people are obsessed with Hogan or HHH for burying people.

      • Guest says:

        That analogy doesn’t make much sense given that’s pretty much what about 47 to 60% of debates over those two amount to.

  4. CF says:

    I’ve never much cared for that Vickie Guererro arc — but not for the usual reasons. No, in my case, it’s because I had a teacher in 9th grade [English] who used that exact same phrase about every three minutes, because she was a complete doormat who could not control a classroom. Even now, after some twenty-and-change years, if I hear a middle-aged woman using that phrase, it takes a conscious act of will on my part to not walk over to her and belt her in the mouth….

    (It says something that the teacher in question got the can-o-matic a couple years later.)

  5. Zeke says:

    Personally I feel that the only thing about this that is WrestleCrap was the match itself, which was fairly idiotic. I don’t know, maybe I’m just open to Stephanie receiving any form of comeuppance, considering she has consistently been the worst thing on Raw for five years straight.

    • Autrach Sejanoz says:

      She’s been the worst thing on Raw for MUCH longer than that. She’s been insufferable ever since 2005.

      • E-Squared says:

        I would say she is as insufferable as the Stephanie McMahon-HELMSLEY character, as seen from the end of 1999 to 2002, before she got the GM role.

  6. Cameron A. says:

    Roman Reigns had some of the worst “babyface gives the heel a taste of his/her own evil” retaliation around this time. For instance, Seth Rollins Curb Stomped Dean Ambrose onto cinder blocks, so Roman Reigns…threw a cinder block at Rollins’ head. I know WWE wanted Reigns to be an antihero in 2014, but that and poisoning the boss is just dumb.

    • Guest says:

      If Austin as a babyface can nearly run over Rikishi following a match as payback for him kayfabe running him over, or stalk and threaten to murder his boss (and later his daughter)

      Why is Roman’s ot Cena’s actions considered out of character?

  7. #OPC says:

    That induction was savage!

  8. Raging_Demons says:

    I knew it! Art’s got a man crush on Roman Reigns!

  9. Andre Reichenbacher says:

    Roman was supposed to be a babyface and there he was, spiking the drinks of his bosses. I always thought that was a real lowdown thing for anyone to do. Like those employees who baked laxatives into cookies for their co-workers a while back and then ended up facing felony charges of adulterating food because the poor employee got really sick from them. I never did find out how that particular case ended and what the people who did that were sentenced with. And yeah, that pool of pudding was supposed to be poop, huh? At least they had Steph barf and then get thrown into the brown muck. That was pretty satisfying to see at the time!

  10. Gerard says:

    was vickie truly a heel?? yea she did heelish things she was annoying as hell with her excuse me line…but..always felt bad for her. somebody was always making the poor woman look like a fool!! but to her credit vickie took it all and said that the best you got?? nice try but i am still standing here tall and proud even though she was covered in fake vomit or somebody smashed her face into a cake!! so for vickie to get the last laugh on stephanie is pure awesomness!!

  11. JustAGuyGuy says:

    You just know creative wrote this as “Soon, the greatest female heel in WWE history…came face to face with Vickie Guerrero.”

  12. Mav says:

    I got into the wwf back in the glory days of 1987. In my opinion, as soon as the McMahons began to think people were paying to see them, they jumped the shark. I appreciate every Stephanie joke here. She gets a lot of crap from fans, and it’s deserved. So, so bad. Take yourself off TV. Let the wrestlers have the spotlight.

    • Jerm says:

      Austin/McMahon was great at the time, because it was a completely new dynamic. It’s just incredibly sad that they’ve been content with “evil authority figure” as the primary storytelling tool literally ever since, for nineteen fucking years.

  13. Jerm says:

    While in no way true (and a flat-out crime if it was), I will always cringe-laugh at a well-crafted Macho Man/Steph joke.

    • Art0Donnell says:

      Randy Savage and Elizabeth split in 1992, the same year Stephanie turned 16, the age of consent in Connecticut, so…

  14. AK says:

    I appreciate the Steph/Savage joke with the running knee. Although I figure in that instance Steph was paying homage to HHH who is a frequent user of said running knee maneuver.

    Maybe the Macho Man taught them both the move..

  15. Hulk6785 says:

    *looks at photo of Stephanie covered in brown goo*

    I have the weirdest boner.

  16. Evan Waters says:

    It must be said, that Vickie as a heel managed to get some absolutely NUCLEAR heat. There was a segment where she and Dolph were confronting Cena and I think someone else in the ring, she would start to speak, and the audience would boo so loudly that Cena had to kinda break character a little and say “C’mon, let’s hear what she has to say” just so they could get through the segment.

    And despite all that, at the end of this angle, she was getting cheered. That’s impressive.

  17. Abe Wallard says:

    Reigns spiked Steph’s drink and yet Trips pushed Rollins? You’d think Trips would promote Reigns as the top draw for drugging Steph.

    “Hey, that’s how I got my perennial push! I like you, we should main event Mania.”

  18. MikEnigma says:

    I call Stephanie “The Hole” because she adds nothing to the content.

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