Gooker 2013 – The Voting is Over!

177 Submitted by on Fri, 10 January 2014, 09:00


And the voting is over!! Congratulations, Dixie Carter – you are our 2013 Gooker Award Winner! You will be properly inducted Thursday night, January 30…just in time for Impact!

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Despite what Hector Guerrero may tell you, the infamous Gobbeldy Gooker was one of the worst gimmicks ever. Therefore, back in 2000 when I first started, I knew that our worst of the year award should thusly be named The Gooker! While the last twelve months brought us a whole ton of atrociousness (that’s a word, right?), it is time for us to narrow down the very worst of the worst, to rightly chastise the single stupidest, most annoying, finger nails on the chalkboard gimmick, character, show, or whatever other thingamajig.

And that’s where YOU come in.

It is your chance to vote and let the world know what the absolute worst in pro wrestling was in 2013. And I therefore give you the following nominees:


All Things Miz


Has there ever been a more annoying personality in wrestling? One could likely write a book on just how grating he was in 2013. Didn’t matter if he was being a baby face, a heel, a host of Miz TV, a commentator, botching the Figure Four, whatever. He’s just the kinda guy you want to punch in the face and tell to never appear on your TV screen again.


Dixie Carter: Heel


Ok, maybe there HAS been a more annoying personality in wrestling…and she more or less took over TNA programming as its lead heel! Did anyone on planet earth actually want to see MORE Dixie on television? Did anyone want to see her beg Hulk Hogan not to leave as she grabbed onto his leg? Did anyone want the WHEEL OF DIXIE and a plethora of idiotic matches?


Total Divas


Here’s a fun idea – take all the hot women on the WWE roster and put them on a weekly ‘reality’ show that is only slightly more believable than your average episode of Raw. Then make them all completely unlikable. Said it before, I’ll say it again: I’ve never seen a company that has the ability to make me never want to see absolutely beautiful women on my TV.


Yodeling Antonio Cesaro


There’s no question Claudio Castagnoli is a truly gifted professional wrestler. In fact, I dare say he’s one of the best in WWE today. But the powers that be thought he was missing something…just a pinch of personality. So they gave him one by having him yodel on his way to the ring. You know, because he’s SWISS and that’s what they do! Eh, better than him showing up in lederhosen and pig tails offering folks hot chocolate I guess. (Note to self: stop giving WWE ideas!)


Cobra Charming


This bit of absurdity was straight out of a Looney Toons cartoon. Santino using a sock painted as a snake is goofy enough, but having said sock be entranced by the musical piping of Jinder Mahal and the Great Khali made for one of those moments that make us embarrassed to be wrestling fans. The worst of the worst? That’s your call.


CM Punk Steals Paul Bearer’s Ashes


Look, I know that Paul Bearer’s kid said it was ok for CM Punk to use his father’s death as part of the storyline leading to the WrestleMania match with the Undertaker. I don’t care. I found it tasteless. More than that, unnecessary. I mean, did anyone NOT want to see these two go at it? What was the point than to make us shake our heads?


Brooke Hogan


Remember her laughable stint as TNA Knockout Law or whatever the heck it was? And remember how awesome she was as Bully Ray’s ‘wife’? And remember how happy we were when she vanished never to return? That’s our Brooke!


So there you have it! You can make your choice below. Voting will end January 17, and we’ll induct the ‘winner’ by the end of the month. Thanks for voting, and keep on crappin’!!

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Yeah, you know...the WrestleCrap guy. Been here since before day 1, I have. You can hang out with me on Facebook. (I'm on there quite a bit) or follow my exploits on Twitter (I'm on there not quite so often). Thanks, and Keep on Crappin'!
177 Responses to "Gooker 2013 – The Voting is Over!"
  1. Brian J says:

    Uh, I think you mean Hector GUERERRO

  2. Paul says:

    LOL Hector Garza fail. Now that’s Wrestlecrap.

  3. Sircheese says:

    Hector Garza may not know much about the Gooker, but he CAN tell you how to lose a big TNA push faster than you can say “Chico Santana!”

  4. BigPoppaNasty says:

    I cannot believe that Los Matadores didn’t get a nomination. I mean, Cobra Charming was bad, sure, but it happened once. Los Matadores gave us all those vignettes, the terrible outfits, OLE, the dreadful entrance, the 456 match series against 3MB, and worst of all, El Torito.

  5. JMA says:

    Poor Hector Guerrero, no one can even bother getting his name right.

    But yeah, he was still wrong about the Gooker–horrible gimmick.

  6. Scrooge McSuck says:

    TNA’s overall poor business model should be an option, but I vote for Heel Dixie Carter. Because the world needed yet ANOTHER heel authority figure that had no idea how to run their own business.

    • Jay says:

      Agreed. She has no charisma, no ability to cut a promo, and I think I might be right in thinking that she has more X-Pac heat than anyone in the history of wrestling. All the stupid gimmick matches, her treatment of Jesse Sorenson, and the way TNA talent is treated (lax as hell drug testing, no health insurance/paying medical bills, allowing an unprotected chairshot in the Bound for Glory main event, her horrible business sense) puts Her way above anything else from 2013.

      Her heel character is also unconfortable to watch considering the issues laid out above. I remember the impact before the trainwreck of 1/9/2013, when she responded to the Demand that Magnus wanted a reunification match with AJ Styles. “You think I would risk that much liability on one match?”.

      Well Dixie, for the past 10 years, your company has been pushing many of your stars to do insane spots when you won’t pay for medical bills, you let Jeff Hardy wrestle for the best part of a year wasted, during which time he injured Ken Anderson, Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner and Kurt Angle. Speaking of Kurt, you are prepared to let him wrestle, when he would probably fail a wwe medical?

      • Matt Soileau says:

        Jeff Hardy alone ranks her as a horrible promoter. He would have been canned immediately after that match with Sting if anybody else was in charge.

  7. Marvelous says:

    The only one that embarrassed me to the point of denying being a fan was the cobra charming. Dixie’s been fine as a heel, brooke wasn’t terrible, miz sucks but no worse than any other random Midcarders. The punk taker storyline wasn’t my cup of tea( I seriously want to know what their plans were before Paul bearer died) but it’s not like they could just ignore his passing. Punk did heel things, and got destroyed. As the closest thing to a coherent storyline not involving a title I’m years, I’ll take it.

  8. Rob says:

    It was hard to pick. I mean both Dixie Carter and Brooke Hogan were bad this year. But in the end, I really hope Dixie Carter wins this because she is god awful and whoever thought it was a good idea to make her an on screen character eating up half the show and believes that is what people want to see really needs to be shot.

  9. christian r bauman says:

    I’m ashamed 1-800-FELLA wasn’t nominated 🙁

  10. Chris says:

    Easily the worst of the year is Dixie Carter. She took a once promising company and destroyed it. She needs to stay off camera, she has a worse voice then Nipple H. At least the Cobra stuff was a one time comedy bit, and it was kinda of funny in a racist kind of way.

  11. Joe says:

    Write in: Endless shilling of the WWE App.

  12. Emer Prevost says:

    Since I have given up on WWE years ago (it is really sad that their product hasn’t even been worth looking at for almost five years now), I had no option but to take Dixie. Her monstrous amount of screen time has damned near killed my interest in TNA. The sooner this idiocy is over and done with, the happier I will be.

  13. Chris D says:

    I can’t decide between Heel Dixie Carter or Total Divas. Both were really annoying, and shoved down our throats, and both deserve the Gooker. But which one deserves it more….

    • Rob says:

      Dixie without question. Because as bad as Total Divas might be (And I really don’t know because to be honest I haven’t even watched one episode because it just isn’t for me hence saying might be), it does get strong ratings not to mention that the show gets higher ratings than TNA.

  14. jjmatadormc says:

    Am I the only thinking it is not exactly a vintage crop this year?

    The only offensive thing on the list is the Undertaker / CM Punk stuff, but they nipped after they initially got some bad feedback on it. The rest of the list is just lame rather than chronically bad or particularly offensive.

    As much as we love to hate the Katie Vick and HLA type stuff, I’d much rather watch a show like that where anything can happen and there are no boundaries, rather than the bland inoffensive product we have today.

    • Mr. #2derful says:

      Completely agree. I don’t believe that the good times are over, by any means, but outrageous crap beats lame crap every day of the week and twice on Sundays. It’s also an earmark of creativity. Misplaced creativity…the type that could only be conjured by bookers who’ve been hit in the head a few times.

      Of course, this coming from a guy who still watches his VHS copies of WCW ppvs from the year 2000, when I actually had to save up to purchase them.

  15. jjmatadormc says:

    Am I the only one thinking it is not exactly a vintage crop this year?

    The only offensive nomination on the list is the Undertaker / CM Punk stuff, but they nipped that in the bud to a degree and subsequently de-emphasised the idea that the urn contained Paul Bearer’s ashes.

    The rest of the list is just a collection of lame gimmicks rather than chronically bad or particularly offensive angles

    As much as we love to rip on the Katie Vick and HLA era, I’d much rather watch a show like that where anything can happen and there are no boundaries, rather than the bland inoffensive, sanitized product we endure today.

  16. Jim says:

    Short Version: Gooker worthy in order- Brooke, Dixie, Punk-Taker. Rest induction worthy. Bryan?

    My guess is that Heel Dixie will win, both for the sheer awfulness (acting, “shooting” on fans w/ “real comments”, inconsistent characterization, Linda 2.0) and that it is still going on (so maybe she can win 2014, too).

    I voted for Brooke, given her acting (“my boob fell out”) and being booked as one of the key players in TNA’s long-running, main event angle (Aces & Eights) before effectively killing the angle by posting pics (w/Hulk included, of course) of her real engagement on Twitter (an engagement that, of course, fell through), resulting in Bully looking weak and Brooke being written off TV and replaced with Tessmacher, like a casting change in a bad sitcom. I don’t think the true plan for the angle would have boosted TNA, but I’m sure Brooke’s departure helped produce the aforementioned Heel Dixie.

    I still hate Punk-Taker, not only for its tastelessness but for screwing up a simple angle (“you fans took my streak away from me, so I’m going to take Taker’s streak from you”) with AWFUL segments (it was the final scene on Raw before WM!), but it didn’t last as long as Brooke or Dixie; Total Divas sounds comically bad but not enough to upset me beyond being induction worthy; the other three are induction but not Gooker-worthy due to involving lower-tiered wrestlers.

    Finally, unless I missed an explanation that he was ineligible, how is Daniel Bryan’s booking in PPVS from August to October not Gooker-eligible, especially given that it resulted in the Authority, “Best for business”, “face of the company”, “B+ player”, and most recently, Bryan joining/being brainwashed to join a cult that will help him…how? (embrace the hate?) This is still ongoing, but so is Heel Dixie, so I’m not sure why that would exclude Bryan but not her.

    • BeaverCleavage says:

      Even if you disagree with the booking, kinda hard to see how main eventing 3 straight PPVs would be Wrestlecrap….

      • Jim says:

        Are you sure? What part of this wasn’t Wrestlecrap?

        1- “Earns” a title shot by being selected by the champion instead of winning a #1 Contender’s match. Defeats said champion (the #1 star in the company for the past 8+ years) even with incompetent direction not getting a clear shot of the finishing move. Celebrates for a few minutes before the ref hits the ultimate maneuver on DB, allowing MITB to be cashed in.

        2- Called a B+ player. Heel authority figure doesn’t show ass. Announcers question how he can beat the champion even though he beat him CLEAN (with lots of hype leading up to the match, which even was repeated after the first match ended early when DB suffered a legit stinger) a few months prior. “Wins” the PPV match only to be stripped the next night over a conspiracy involving a fast count by the ref; said conspiracy is never mentioned again (much like Heyman appearing to buy off the Shield to help Punk against Ryback).

        3- No contest when “ironclad contract” punches out both men. IC gets to KO HHH as well.

        4- Loses Hell in a Cell match when special ref (yet another HHH friend) superkicks him for attacking HHH.

        Revenge for the entire four months is attacking the ref the next night before being shuffled down the card while IC trades in a million dollar lawsuit for a title shot. Joins the Wyatts because they will help him embrace the hate or something, which apparently involves Bray hitting a bunch of Sister Abigails on Bryan after the Wyatts lose matches.

        No indication the PPV losses were building to something at WM prior to the post-RR Raw; no indication the losses were part of a story about DB, Orton (an afterthought), or the Authority (who think they are being a “nuanced” heel when they are just being wishy-washy),

        He shouldn’t have been eligible for being ongoing, but the “disagree with booking” is not a valid reason: disagreeing with booking (along with poor execution) is what can make something wrestlecrap.

  17. Caveman says:

    The nominations this year are weak.

  18. Jim says:

    Oh, and I hope’s Joe’s suggestion (Endless shilling of the WWE App) is incorporated in the 2014 induction: endless shilling of the WWE Network.

  19. Hashington says:

    Dixie possesses the company destroying powers of Vince Russo and the acting abilities of Linda Mcmahon. She’s actually harmful to the wresting industry whereas everyone else on this list is mostly just annoying.

    Dishonorable mention: matches involving Eva Marie

  20. Stephen says:

    I agree with Jim and Joe. I think this year’s lineup could be stronger, particularly with the shilling of the WWE App endlessly (or just the endless “We’re Still Relevant Dammit” nature of the company, with their constant plugging of Tout, Twitter and now Instagram too. I can’t say I care for the company pushing “the brand” rather than the wrestlers).

    CM Punk vs. Undertaker got my vote. Not the match itself but just the hugely offensive nature of the angle. The only other one that actually bothered me was Brooke Hogan. I actually like Dixie as a heel, so I’ve no idea why that’s the front-runner at the moment.

  21. Raven7309 says:

    What??!! No Authority/burying Daniel Bryant/”Best for business” nomination. For shame, RD.

  22. Lloyd Dobler says:

    While Heel Dixie was terrible and impacted TNA as a whole in a significant way, I’m tempted to vote for Total Divas–not just for the reality show itself, but the lamer-than-normal feud that it’s given us on the regular programming in which we’re apparently supposed to consider one group ‘heels’ because they do not appear on a shallow, preening, non-wrestling program on E! A feud in which seemingly all previous face/heel designations and most of the interest in being a champion has been forgotten about and the major (only?) issue or angle in the entire DIVISION is whether one is on said shallow, preening, non-wrestling program. A program largely centered on the rather useless (unless you are Cena or Bryan) Bella Twins and the completely useless Eva Marie.

    I’m gonna have to think about this…

  23. I'll Be Your Zero says:

    I thought that was Peggy Bundy: Heel.

  24. James says:

    I thhink Antonio is the worst one, because it is the one on the list where a genuine talent is being made a joke of by the gimmick concerned.

  25. James says:

    Also, poor acting aside (and anyway Steph is awful too), I think ‘The Authority’ should be nominated if ‘heel authority figures’ are passe and thus worthy of nomination.

  26. Justin Henry says:

    Total Divas or we riot.

    And by ‘riot’, I mean ‘point out that that’s the only nominee in which the success of it would completely shift the marketing focus away from longtime fans and onto spoiled, vapid people who live for reality TV, and possibly never return.’

    So yes, vote Total Divas.

    • Excitement Personified says:

      What he said. Total Divas is this decade’s Rock n’ Wrestling Connection, where the WWF/E gets one shot to reach out to a new audience and generate new angles. But instead of dragging an entire generation of hip kids into following wrestling, it’s another dollop of ‘reality’ shit for morons.

    • Raging_Demons says:

      Oh Total Divas most definitely! Mostly because they actually put this crap on the same network as The Kardashians!

      What people don’t realize how bad it is. Like how Eva Marie is a deluded fame whore, or how Nikki Bella thinks she’s actually getting Cena’s money by dating him, or how Jojo is the new “Anonymous Brooke”, or Natalya unknowing to herself becomes the new Raven with just short of her saying “What About Me?”, or the cartoonish ways Naomi’s relationship is shown, OR yet we not forget the stupidity of Cameron & her stupid boyfriend Vincent who wanted to pick a fight with BRODUS FREAKING CLAY!

      This show is just an offense to the eyes especially with the WWE Network coming soon. I think most people are voting for Heel Dixie because Heel Dixie is current & fresh in their minds & pro wrestling fans tend to be a wee bit short sighted.

      P.S. is joining Justin in the “Total Divas or we riot” phenomenon.

    • Iron Smark Tyson says:

      So…..when do you start rioting?????

  27. John Q Occupier says:

    Half these inductions were just plain Crap. I thought WrestleCrap was supposed to be stuff that was fun to make fun of?

  28. Dan says:

    Dixie Carter easily gets my vote but I’m wondering how the MMA invasion of TNA with Tito Ortiz and Rampage Jackson wasn’t included, especially considering the build for Titos debut.

    • Ian says:

      I agree that the Tito/Rampage buildup was definite crap. All this hype with Tito joining Aces and 8s, and Rampage joining the Mafia, then they’re released from the company and the fight doesn’t end up happening to begin with. While the match not happening has nothing to do with TNA, it’s just a huge waste of time.

  29. Acid says:

    Dixie Carter heel is my favorite thing on that list, and I genuinely love it. Cobra Charming was meant to be the worst in a so bad its horrible kind of way…but Total Diva’s gets my choice in the end.

  30. Adam K says:

    While the thing on this list that I hated the most was the snake charming, I can’t see it stretched out into a whole induction. Especially not a Gooker. Ditto for yodelling Cesaro. I don’t watch TNA, so I can’t judge any of those choices. As far as that style of reality show goes, I don’t think Total Divas is actually bad. I really enjoyed the Punk/Undertaker stuff. I have no problem, however, voting all things Miz. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Miz is terrible at everything.

  31. Anonymous says:

    A wrestler that gives out free hot chocolate is actually the best idea for a gimmick ever.

  32. Robbie P. says:

    The nominees are pretty weak this year except for a few. First of all the urn has NEVER contained Paul Bearer’s ashes. It was the urn Paul Bearer carried, not one his ashes were placed in, and I never remember commentary claiming they were Bearer’s ashes. To claim they were is to completely forget the times that Undertaker drew power from the urn WHILE BEARER WAS STILL VERY MUCH ALIVE. This is not the same as when Heyman mocked Lawler’s heart attack. This actually had a point and brought some heat to a feud that would have been generic without it.

    That being said, Cesaro’s yodeling gimmick? Really? Yeah it was bad, but it only lasted a month at most and then he was back to kicking ass. Why isn’t Aces and Eights nominated? What about the complete burial of Damien Sandow and Dolph Ziggler? Los Matadores belongs on the list more than the dumb yodeling gimmick and the cobra charming combined.

  33. Gary O says:

    Unfortunately I Had To Vote For The Miz. It Was A Decision Made Purely For Marketing Behind A Guy That Wasn’t Liked Or Even Hated Enough To Make A Splash With The move.

    I’ve Given Up On Santino Years Ago Because He Puts The “Entertainment” Behind The E In Www.
    Just An Effort To Give Dixie Some Personality Is Appreciated, And She’s No More Annoying Than Any Other Authority Figure.
    Women’s Wrestling At The Top Level Is A Joke And It Being Separate From The Regular Shows Is Fine By Me.
    Yodeling Antonio Just Showed What A Talent He Was That He Was Able To Erase That Memory With The Giant Swing.

    When You Have A Wrestler Named “The Undertaker” Whose Whole Personality is Centered On Death And A Charismatic Heel Like CM PunkI And Have An Actual Death Occur During Their Program It’s Kind Of Expected To Take That Turn.

    We All Got What We Expected From Brooke. At Least She Didn’t sing

  34. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Where was All Things Nipple H? BAd acting, terribly mike work, annoying character, stupid storylines, the Vickie job appraisal, being a bitch to the Divas…

  35. Andy says:

    Two questions: Was that actually Brooke or did someone go to the adult novelty store? Was farting Nattie this year or last year? Much like Yodeling Cesaro it attempted to make a joke out of actual talent.
    I’m writing in the endless tutorials/plugs for the WWE app. The kids downloading it have better tech skills than the people that created and run it. Anything worth seeing during a commercial break is replayed upon the return and rigging elections/polls is a job for real politicians not the McMahons.

  36. RD Reynolds says:

    Amazing fail on my part with the Hector GARZA thing. What on earth was I thinking?

  37. Bigbattle22 says:

    Total Divas hands down.

    It’s more or less a show that shoves the girls of the WWE that can’t wrestle into the spotlight (Eva comes to mind), makes people like Cena look like even more of an jackass than in Raw or SmackDown, and is the main reason why those… Slut Twins are back in the WWE.

    All things Miz would be a close 2nd for me.

  38. dennett316 says:

    Really? Cobra Charming? That’s worthy of a Gooker nomination? It was a throwaway skit centered around a bunch of wrestlers who are either comedy acts or jobbers, and was a dumb skit strictly for kids. That’s really worse than Aces and Eights, Tito and Rampage, Bo Dallas and his stalled call up to Raw, TNA making itself look bad by having several on-screen stars walk out because it’s so crappy to work there (AJ, Hogan, Jeff Hardy), the mishandling of Dolph Ziggler or numerous other dumb things in the industry?
    Oh man, I think some around here are way too po-faced for their own good if a one-off skit about the bloody Cobra is considered Gooker worthy.
    And the Punk/Taker build was excellent…why is it even on here at all? Tasteless? Please, his family OK’d the skits…even the one they supposedly didn’t like, but were in fact only given second hand info that made it seem worse than it was.

  39. Ian says:

    Speaking of gimmicks missing from this list, how about Joseph Park: the wrestler, who denies he’s actually Abyss, yet “Abyss-es” up every time he bleeds, then forgets it 5 seconds later?

  40. Autrach Sejanoz says:

    If it weren’t for the fact that indie promotions are exempt, I’ve got a feeling that the winner would be CHIKARA’s disappearing act.

  41. marvelous says:

    There were much crappier moments than this crop (total divas aside) TNA’s downward spiral, matadors, Bryan’s push halting the moment John Cena returns, endless handicap matches, WWE app, fandangoing being killed off, aces & 8s, the mma invasion of TNA, JBL’s lack of volume control. Out of this crop total divas should win easy but the internet’s hatred of Dixie will probably win out

  42. Jay "The Brain" Mann says:

    About half of these don’t deserve to be nominated. I narrowed my choices down to Total Divas (it’s not So Bad It’s Good, it’s So Bad It’s Horrible), Brooke Hogan (nepotism!) and Dixie Carter: Heel (remember when she said she didn’t want to be involved in the storylines too much?). In the end, I voted for Dixie.

  43. mark p says:

    Brooke Hogan is the only true choice on this, horrible all the way through her time in the company. fell on her arse making an introduction, shoved into the top angle (which should have been nominated this year considering it wasn’t last year.) of T.N.A. for 18-19 months for no reason other than nepotism brother!, botched multiple things during it (announcing her real life engagement on twitter killing the kayfabe on screen marriage to bully ray stone dead, her boob’s falling out during the wedding beat-down, being instructed by daddy Hogan to go check on bully and going to someone else.)

    heel Dixie is still on-going, punk taker slowed down before mania, total diva’s is what it is… an attempt at faking a reality show, the rest isn’t gooker worthy

  44. Emerson Witner says:

    Punk with Paul’s ashes is my Wrestling Observer Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic, but for this, I went Total Divas

  45. Just Joe says:

    A write in vote for the App shilling and the D-Bry Saga

  46. Erich says:

    Yodeling Cesaro.

    Yeah, Heel Dixie wasn’t very good, but Claudio Castagnoli spent years and years building up his skills, earning his reputation as one of the very best wrestlers around.
    So naturally, WWE Creative couldn’t figure out any way to take advantage of his skills and personality, thus they made him yodel. Hell, the only reason he is over with the fans these days is because of the Big Swing. And that was Cesaro getting himself over, not WWE Creative.

    So going by the definition of Wrestlecrap, the biggest failure of the year was WWE Creative’s decision that the only way Cesaro would be over with the fans was if he yodeled.

  47. Anthony Nagle says:

    I’m going to sound real wrong here, but anything to do with women that was up for nomination. Total Divas made the whole conception to be an aspiring woman wrestler go down the crapper. Dixie Carter is way too nice of a woman to portray an evil bitch. The less said about Brooke the better. And you know what, add that Steve Buscemi-looking freak in there too, because Miz to me is a bigger bitch than all of them!

  48. Shaoken says:

    This is a really weak lineup this year, especially considering how many other, more deserving angles went on this year. No Aces and Eights? MMA invasion of TNA? Faces walking out of TNA?

    Cesaro yodelled for a month and then that angle was forgotten about. Induction worthy maybe, but not the worst thing this year by far.

    The Punk/Taker thing shouldn’t even be on here; the ashes’s were never Paul Bearer’s, the whole point was to give Punk something heelish to do (since Bearer was scheduled to be part of the fued before his death we most likely would have seen Punk beating him up to get the same result) and we got the payoff of Undertaker kicking his ass. Eddieplotation this is not.

    Cobra Charming? That’s kind of scrapping the bottom of the barrel now.

  49. C thomas says:

    I am voting for for heel Dixie. I think her acting and her voice is probably the most annoying thing on television. and I love the picture of Brooke Hogan you have doing the ”O” face. you sir are awesome!

  50. Julie Hankinson says:

    Good nominations, but so much was excluded. The Corporate culture in WWE, anyone? The Real Americans? 3MB? Los Matadores? The complete humiliation of Kaitlyn by AJ? I’m disappointed.

  51. Big J says:

    Wow, the WWE must have had a better year than I thought because all of those choices are all reaching. The yodeling and Cobra charming? Those were nothing, why are they even nominated? Total Divas? As far as reality TV goes, it’s actually pretty damn entertaining and offers some interesting behind the scenes stuff. At least it’s lead to the Bellas becoming better wrestlers. The Urn Angle? You’re just wrong, plain and simple. Those weren’t Paul Bearer’s ashes, the urn was a purely symbolic object and Punk’s disrespect to it was meant to piss off the Undertaker and the fans, which it did a good job doing. Really, the most shameful thing about that angle was the douchebag smarks who were still chanting for Punk. The Miz is the only thing here even close to deserving a nomination, but here’s the thing, Miz’s current position in no-man’s-land is pretty much completely his own fault. WWE positioned him very well for his face turn and gave him adequate TV time to get over as a face, and he completely dropped the ball by being pretty damn unlikable.

  52. NightmareNear says:

    I hope RD mentions #Ask Dixie in the Heel Dixie Induction if she wins the Gooker.

  53. George says:

    Don’t care that you don’t care, RD. They still did it. Brooke Hogan is more preferable than Vickie Guerrero and Kristen Stewart and Honey Boo Boo.

  54. Andrew says:

    The only one I disagree with being there is the Punk/Bearer angle. It’s not just his kid, but from listening to interviews (and I didn’t know him so maybe I’m wrong), but Paul seemed to have a morbid sense of humour, and death really surrounded him and the Undertaker throughout their careers, so something was going to be kinda like this that was going to happen. But other then that, great nominees. I considered Miz to be a great and worthy WWE Champion at one point when he was fresh, but he’s nails on a chalkboard now. Total Divas can be entertaining for the wrong reasons, Cesaro almost got killed off, the Cobra angle was pretty racist, Dixie should probably be a 2014 nominee and I’d vote for her then. But the one true horror of the year was Brooke Hogan, one of the worst non-wrestling personalities ever.

  55. Jeremy from Harrisburg says:

    None of these are really worthy. Aces & 8’s, El Torito, and others were much worse than these.

  56. Adamclark52 says:

    Tough choice this year:
    1. All Things Miz – I hate the guy but not enough to make him a Gooker winner
    2. Dixie Carter: Heel – this was my runner up choice. I don’t watch TNA, I’ve never even heard Dixie speak a word but I hate her.
    3. Total Divas – this got my vote. I’ve been in agreement with RD Rynolds for years that the WWE is the only company who’ve been able to get me to dislike having hot women on my TV.
    4. Yodeling Antonio – stupid, but it didn’t stick around long enough to bee a Gooker winner. A definite induction someday though
    5. Cobra Charming – I never even heard of this until the list was posted.
    6. Punks Steals Paul Bearer’s Ashes – not Gooker material, just a dumb angle.
    7. Brooke Hogan – again, I don’t watch TNA. I know she was probably terrible but at least they could get rid of her.

  57. RRJ says:

    Heel Dixie is still ongoing so how she be nominated but The Authority/Bryan feud can’t be?

  58. TKG says:

    If they’re going to give Cesaro a bad gimmick, they should go all out.
    Give him a manager/valet that throws Swiss Miss into the opponent’s eyes, a la Mr. Fuji and his powdered salt.

  59. Jerichoholic Ninja says:

    Voted for: Total Divas. I’m actually surprised that it’s not winning right now. Dixie is benefitting from the “TNA had a horrible year let’s crap on them!” vote. Total Divas combined everything a Gooker needs: Bad wrestlers getting pushed (everyone but Natalya and Naomi), nonsensical turns (Bellas), misuse of talent (Natalya), crappy matches given to us over and over again (the 7-on-7 matches done week after week), needless embarrassment of talent (Bellas calling Natalya Ugly Duckling), good talent getting pushed aside (why was Diva’s champion AJ not included?), unlikeable babyfaces (Bellas), bad acting, lame jokes and stuff getting shoved down our throats. Dixie was just another terrible overpushed character, but Total Divas deserves it, in my opinion.

    As for Punk-Undertaker, I agree that the stuff with the urn was completely unnecessary. You have two of the best in the company, why saddle them with such lowbrow material? But, I don’t think it should win because the concept was bad, they did salvage it somewhat and the match itself was great.

    Honourable mention: Raw having no fewer than SIX heel authority figures at once (Trips, Steph, Vince, Vickie, Kane, Brad Maddox).

    • dennett316 says:

      AJ was offered a spot on the show, but turned it down. She states this on an October 2013 panel of the Wizard World Ohio Comic-Con…there’s a vid on Youtube.

  60. BaltoJim says:

    All Things Miz, Dixie Carter – Heel and Total Divas are still ongoing, so why are they nominated?

    Los Matadores and the Endless Shilling of the WWE App would be Gooker-worthy, if they weren’t still (unfortunately) ongoing.

    Gooker-worthy, but missing:
    Aces & 8s
    MMA Invasion of TNA
    Big Show Forced To Do HHH/Nipple H’s Bidding Despite His “Iron-Clad” Contract
    Antonio Cesaro Becomes A “Real American” Even Though He’s Swiss?
    Kaitlyn’s Secret Admirer (featuring The Great Khali – Detective and The Great Khali gives romantic advice)

    If Cobra Charming was an ongoing angle, rather than a one-time stunt, it would have had my vote – as would Brooke Hogan if she had been included as part of the Aces & 8s angle. I actually enjoyed CM Punk stealing the urn.

    So I guess Yodeling Antonio it is.

  61. TK says:

    Voted but intrigued one angle that came this fall didn’t make it and it’s the entire Big Show use in the Authority. It hurt Bryan’s push which now has sent him to the Wyatts, the match people sort of wanted was the HHH match that never occurred for better or worse, we got a rehash of another bad angle with being broke with so many loopholes (does HHH STILL own his house?!) and ended up with Big Show instead of winning a huge lawsuit to own the WWE…with a title shot he lost in one of the worst PPV main events in a long time against an equally downgraded Randy Orton who was a lame champ and is still one since then. That angle wasn’t just Wrestlecrap but hurtful to the overall Fall of the WWE.

    • marvelous says:

      Yeah now that you mention it the Big Show’s saga should have been on here. It encompassed everything that makes WWE challenging to watch: Outrageous amounts of TV time devoted to boring bits, made the hottest act in wrestling look like a chump (Daniel Bryan), tons of crying, nonsensical storytelling (he went from unlikable guy who would punch an old man in the face because his boss yelled at him to do so, the mortgage bit, the broke big show bit, the lawsuit that would give him the company that he dropped so he could get a title shot, basically every week brought something that was worse than the week before it), it took the hottest act out of the main event, it ended with a concussion storyline that was forgotten in a week, and the cardinal sin of all of this is that it made absolutely everyone that touched it LESS over than when the angle started and with no payoff. That’s gotta be the crappiest thing of the year easily

  62. the14thListener says:

    Trying to avoid the “still ongoing” angles keeps me from voting for the first three nominees: Miz continues to be annoying, Heel Dixie continues to be generally uninteresting and I believe Total Divas is still being broadcast. It also would prevent the greater Authority storyline and the WWE APP from being included as those sadly are still with us.

    I’d leave out the Bryan booking because it’s dull, disappointing and I’m not sure how a funny recap could be written.

    The specific Big Show “not so Iron Clad” contract/crying/mortgage woes angle should be included. Some others that have been mentioned are good choices, namely Kaitlyn Katfishing, Aces & 8s out with a whimper and the Bellator-Impact crossover (surely there’s a picture of Tito, King Mo and Rampage together), but it’s sadly telling I forgot about them until reading the comments. I actually have to think about this.

  63. WWEnut says:

    Brpooke Hogan all the way. Just…awful at pretty much everything she turns her hand to.

  64. Down With OPC says:

    Total Deevers.

  65. Nick Nutter says:

    Dixie Carter as a heel is an ongoing angle. Isn’t that against the rules?

  66. Dafuq Bro says:

    Wow this gooker line-up sucks.

    Miz- yeah he had a crap year but Gooker worthy on it’s own? Yeah. right.
    Yodeling Cesaro- Awful…but lasted like a month and was quickly forgotten, not Gooker worthy.
    Cobra Charming- Seriously? Why is this here? One stupid segment from a random Smackdown does not belong here.
    Punk and the Urn- Ugh… this was a good angle that put a lot of heat on their match and increased excitement for it. This is the opposite of crap, people need to grow up.

    The TNA ones I don’t care about, because I dont watch TNA. I’m tired of TNA winning the Gooker all the time now seemingly because just want to shit on them more… but of course Heel Dixie is winning… sigh…

    Total Divas is really the only worthy choice. Everything that the Gooker stands for is represented here. Bad angles, bad matches, more divas leaving, EVA MARIE??

    Where the hell is the “Best for Business” saga? Everything that has happened since Summerslam has been terrible! The WWE was HOT going into Summerslam, ON FIRE coming out and then they squandered all of that to stroke Triple H’s ego some more… Daniel Bryan’s (attempted) burial, pointless build-up to matches that wont happen (Bryan/HBK, Bryan/Triple H, Big Show/Triple H), Steph on TV all the time, Big Show sudden;y broke with a not-so-iron clad contract, the Survivor Series main event etc. etc.

    • the14thListener says:

      “I’m tired of TNA winning the Gooker all the time now seemingly because just want to shit on them more… but of course Heel Dixie is winning… sigh…”

      TNA has won twice in twelve years and it’s not like they haven’t had worthy contenders, WWE has just managed to top them in Crap. Unless “all the time” means the last three years, then TNA has that going for them.

    • dennett316 says:

      How do you know it’s because people just want to shit on the show if you don’t actually watch the show? You don’t know if what wins is bad or not, you’re just guessing it isn’t. Besides, as someone else pointed out, they haven’t really “won” the award that many times in their existence.

  67. Walt says:

    I have to go for Yodeling Cesaro.

    Here’s why:

    I am a purist when it comes to wrestling. I prefer Golden Age wrestling as well as Japanese Strong and Shoot Styles. Wrestling to me is a sport. I don’t care if it’s predetermined or has choreography. Figure Skating has choreography and people are call that a sport..

    While I enjoy some comedy in wrestling and some over the top characters for example the Wyatts and the BroMans with DJ Zema. By and large I prefer wrestling as a straight up sport that’s presented realistically enough that you can suspend disbelief and it looks legit.

    So what ticks me off is that a guy so gifted like Claudio, so much ability, and in my mind, he and Bryan should be feuding for the top title. It ticks me off to see him stuck with a yodeling gimmick…why not a gimmick of “I’m a real wrestler and you posers will suffer.” Then have him go and stretch the crap out of Orton and Cena.

    Honorable (or Dishonorable)- The Treatment of Brock Lesnar. He was an UFC champion, he brought in close to a million PPV buys and was UFC’s top draw…what does Worst Wrestling Ever do with him?

    Triple H has way too much butthurt from Wrestlemania 12, and the MSG incident had nothing to do with that.

    • dennett316 says:

      Your figure skating analogy is flawed as all hell. There’s a certain way that moves need to be pulled off, and a pleasing way for routines to be put together that need judges to determine. That outcome is not pre-determined because the performers can mess up the choreography or exhibit poor form. This is not the same as wrestling, where every aspect of what we see is pre-determined in order to facilitate story lines and angles.
      Wrestling isn’t a sport because there is no real competition (beyond being trusted to be seen as a main eventer and be able to command more money and respect). There’s athleticism and talent up the wazoo, but that alone does not a sport make.

      Worst Wrestling Ever? *slow clap*

  68. another guy says:

    Miz…anything to do with the Miz is…AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWFUL (yeah I know, not original, then again so is every argument for the Miz).

  69. Nolo King says:

    Very week choices this year, but I made my vote.

    It shocks me that AJ Styles is not an option, especially since it lead to nothing.

  70. Thomas Moffatt says:

    How come both Tony Dawson and Bo Dallas are not on the list? Both equally as awful

    PLUS Sheamus didn’t get a nomination – for someone who was out of action for half the year he did a lot of crap!!! There’s someone who is NOT missed…

  71. Jinsei says:

    Very disapointed with those nomination.

    The Miz ? Juste because you hate the guy… and Mizanin has been underrated last Year. Just for a botch to the figure-4 ? I would say at least the idea to be a new Ric Flair.

    What about the endless death of Aces & Eights ?

    What about Titot Ortiz & Rampage Jackson ? I wanted to vote to this 2 morons and as a result, i vote Brooke Hogan by default.

    Jinder Mahald Vs Heath slater was preatty funny and it’s on the list… but on the other side, not Orton/Big Show feud/match.

    I would add alo :
    The MITB saga for Damien Sandow, where this dude get buried time after time.
    Brock Lesnar destroy HHH office.
    Chris Sabin title run

  72. James says:

    What about Sheamus vs Mark Henry? Had to have been the most backwards ass feud in recent memory.

  73. Alexandru says:

    A lot of these aren’t really Gooker worthy i.e. Santino cobra,Yodeling Cesaro, Miz wasn’t good but he wasn’t Gooker worthy,Punk/Taker feud (wasn’t tasteless just poorly executed) they haven’t really hurt the product or are just outright ridiculous/ A lot was left out: Damien Sandow’s MITB treatment, Sheamus, TNA’s handling of the AJ Styles contract situation, and the most eggregious, “The Authority” . The only one that truly deserves to be on the list (besides Total Divas and Brooke) is anything to do with Dixie. She has run TNA into the ground no wonder Jeff Jarrett, the damned co-founder left. Dixie’s going to win the Gooker for sure, she just needs to go away.

    • Jimbob Jones says:

      Honestly, I think that there needs to be an option for “TNA’s Idiotic Decisions”. I normally don’t like that kind of catch-all, but it seems like TNA made a TON of them this year (then again, the worst one they made was at the end of 2009, when they announced the orange goblin coming in).

      I also think that’s why “Heel Dixie” is winning, but that blah angle isn’t really Gooker-worthy. It’s Dixie’s/TNA’s decisions as a whole that are the problem, not her playing an annoying authority figure.

  74. Shaoken says:

    There is one thing that has been bothering me while reading the comments.

    The Urn didn’t contain Paul Bearer’s ashes, at no point did the story suggest that, yet a lot of people here are acting like Punk was running around with Paul’s remains.

    • "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

      I think people thought it did have his ashes in it (in storyline terms) because Undertaker did the gesturing to the urn when they did the tribute to Paul. You can kind of understand why people would think that based on what WWE showed us.

      • Robbie P. says:

        Except at no point did commentary point out that it was Paul’s ashes, which if the storyline was going that way, those three chuckleheads would have parroted that OVER AND OVER. How is it so difficult to believe that it was the same urn that Paul Bearer carried before he died? You know, the mysterious one that has held his power before and has been stolen countless times before? How is that so damned hard to believe? I swear people will get offended at just about anything, even when it isn’t even there.

  75. Mister Forth says:

    I feel that The Aces & Eights angle & Los Matadores should’ve gotten spots. A&8s ran far too long & had a meh death ala nWo, & Los Matadores combined 3 Wrestlecrap gimmicks(El Matador, Giant Gonzalez(R.I.P.) & Mantaur.) Out of the nominees. With that havig been said, I voted for Heel Dixie. No one seemed to want her on TV at all as a face, now as a heel, she’s gotten even worse.

  76. Dan Sheldon says:

    I think Dixie Carter plays a great heel! I can’t believe that is in the lead. Total Divas is MUCH worse!

  77. ChrisV75 says:

    I have to agree with everyone who says this is a weak line-up.
    One person mentioned Kaitlyn’s secret admirer, and that reminded that it really was the worst of the year. It had everything bad. Kaitlyn being humiliated because she isn’t a stick, with even the idea that she’d have a hard time finding a date. Horrible acting from Kaitlyn. Great Khali as a detective. Just everything about it was offensive.

    Sandow tries to cash in would also work I think. He does everything except rip Cena’s arm off and still can’t beat him…yet that was supposed to make Sandow look good? Then he jobs to Henry while dressed as Santa. It just speaks so much to WWE’s current attitude about creating new stars….

    Out of the choices, I see Total Divas as the only real worthy choice.
    I have no problem with heel Dixie. She’s been doing a good job in that role of late. She takes up way too much air-time, but that’s not worthy of induction.
    I enjoyed the Undertaker-Punk feud.
    Caesaro and “snake charming” were awful, but neither lasted very long.
    Brooke Hogan I remember a lot more from last year, rather than 2013.
    Miz is my runner up choice, but outside of his whole face or heel dynamic, I can’t see a lot to write about.

  78. Peter W Dawson says:

    It pretty much has to be Dixie. Take everything you hate about Stephanie McMahon’s current heel run and put it on someone with less talent (yes that’s possible) or charisma (again, possible apparently).

    Miz was just one long run of a guy floundering without a direction. Cesaro just had a crappy gimmick, those really are a dime a dozen and it’s like Natalya’s moronic farting. Santino’s schtick, well, it’s Santino, and just another reminder how TOTALLY NOT AT ALL RACIST WWE is in regards to their wrestlers of Indian descent. Brooke there is a decent amount to talk about but it’ll eventually just cover one of the biggest and dumbest storylines of the year that seemed to just go on and on, and you really need to break that one down by numbers. The Taker-Punk thing can really be summed up as the feud being unnecessary and in bad taste, going further doesn’t seem necessary. Finally Total Divas, well, it’s a crappy reality on a crappy network. Only thing I ever want to know is if the Bellas awkwardly use each other’s names the whole time to remind the viewers which is which or if it developed as a result of constantly having to correct people in real life. Dixie’s really the perfect induction: a lot to talk about, but doesn’t cover too much of the landscape to the point where you’re inducting for a month.

  79. The Cha0tic One says:

    Hmm…. Not sure yet. I dont find the nominees weak but I DO agree a lot of deserving things were omitted.

    Daniel Bryan and Ziggler screwjobs/refusal to elevate new talenr
    Wwe making all titles feel unimportant
    Kaitlyn vs AJ
    Pointless heel and face changes
    App and merch shilling
    Mostly awful PPV cards

    Money problems/Losing talent
    Losing titles/deemphasizing the X and knockouts divisions
    Aces and 8s vs Main event mafia and mma guys
    Tweener AJ Styles
    Fueds/stories that need to die like J Park/Abyss and Angle/Roode
    Not signing Ivelisse Vélez 🙂

    2nd half of 2013 sucked mostly to me… Im thinking Total Divas(but I love Jojo)

    • dennett316 says:

      Refusal to elevate new talent? Huh?

      Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, Big E Langston, Antonio Cesaro (it’s not been smooth sailing, but he’s fit nicely into a solid groove now) Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, Eric Rowan, Daniel Bryan (yeah, his main event run totally doesn’t count because he didn’t get the title at the end of it. Gotta love that “logic”), Fandango (yes, they stalled and screwed up the viral nature of the gimmick, but they still elevated the guy and pushed him fairly substantially), Xavier Woods (starting him slow is for the best, you saw what happened to Curtis Axel when they tried to rush things)….not to mention the better utilization of talent that’s been around for a while in The Uso’s, Jack Swagger, Tamina Snuka, The Bellas, Cody Rhodes, Goldust etc.

      Yeah, things sure are dire just because they screwed over Dolph Ziggler (they messed him up, undoubtedly, but that one flat out screw up does not negate all the other guys listed).

  80. Idi 'Big Daddy'Amin says:

    Does anybody remember when Trish Stratus and Lita main-evented Raw? Me too. Great, wasn’t it? Now try to imagine a similar scenario happening in a post-Total Divas WWE. Finding it hard? That’s because it’ll never bloody happen. For that reason, I voted for WWE leaping on the reality TV bandwagon some eight years too late–and I haven’t even seen the show. I’ve just seen what it’s done to the Divas division, which was already ropey.

    But remember for a while there, when it seemed like there was hope for women’s wrestling in WWE? Kaitlyn might not have set the world on fire technically, but she was improving all the time: remember how awful Trish was when she first started? Eve Torres was one of the finest heel Divas I’ve seen in years, and all she needed was a ‘Royal wave’ and a wonderfully patronising smile (with nary a duck whistle in sight). AJ Lee, despite cruel jokes about her being a slut/whore/whatever (yeah, so what does that make CM Punk?), is a girl who clearly adores the business, and with her undoubted charisma and burgeoning mic skills is far more capable of taking women’s wrestling mainstream than a group of talentless, fame-for-fame’s-sake Barbie dolls (and Natalya). You only have to see how badly they’re playing this by the fact that the canned heat machine on Smackdown works overtime whenever she emerges. Remember the ‘pipe bombshell’? Yeah, it was pretty good, huh? Seems like they misjudged what effect a wrestler dissing an apparently wrestling-based reality TV show would have on a load of wrestling fans.

    Now what do we have? Kaitlyn just left, Eve left a while ago, and the company seems to have woken up one morning, drunk on E! Network ratings (let’s call them rubberneck ratings, since I can only imagine the grim fascination some people have with Total Divas is similar to that felt by people driving past an horrific road accident)., and decided to put their legitimately over Divas champion on the backburner–even more than her gender does automatically–and when they do feature her, treat her like she just said “Chris Benoit is my favourite wrestler” in the middle of that very ring. And why treat her like that?

    Because she’s a female wrestler who wants to wrestle. Way to go, WWE. If Brie Bella (or god forbid, Eva Marie) ends up with that ludicrous butterfly belt, it might just finish off Mae Young.

  81. Matty says:

    Here would be my picks for Gooker of the Year Award 2013, in no particular order

    1. Alberto Del Rio as a babyface
    2. Tons of Funk
    3. Los Matadores with El Torito
    4. Dixie Carter as a heel
    5. Randy Orton vs. The Big Show for the WWE Championship at Survivor Series. That didn’t even make a good WCW Saturday Night main event let alone a PPV main event.
    6. TNA Tag Team Champions Bromans
    7. Total Divas(why isn’t AJ Lee the face here)

  82. Sperm says:

    All things Miz? I think Sin Cara is more worthy of an “all things…” nomination.

    Tito/Rampage should definitely be there. And it should win.

    • Jimbob Jones says:

      As a business decision, I’d agree with Tito/Rampage. But as an angle, they just didn’t do enough to warrant being the Gooker winner.

      Honestly, I don’t really think Dixie deserves to win, either… she’s not great, but she really isn’t horrible. As with all things in wrestling in 2013 — she’s just kind of “there”.

      I think the worst thing about this year is that the choices we have for “worst of” really aren’t that bad — in fact, they’re all just kind of dull as opposed to “true” Wrestlecrap. I think that’s kind of indicative of how 2013 has been in general. WWE has been on auto-pilot for years now. TNA’s history of stupid-ass decisions has finally caught up with them, and they’re pretty much just trying to stay afloat.

      Unfortunately, with Chikara disappearing and ROH being a bit of a mess, we can’t even really count on the indies right now to fill in the gaps. PWG has been awesome, but has run what, 6-8 shows this year? And NJPW has some great matches (the ones I’ve seen, anyway), but since I don’t speak Japanese, caring about what feuds there are would be kind of difficult.

      2013 will go down to me as the year that was simultaneously the least good and least bad wrestling year ever. It was just mediocre — not good enough to be good, not bad enough to be interesting.

      Sadly, it’s also the year that I finally gave up on TNA for good. After a killer 2012, 2013 just shows that they really don’t understand a thing about what they’re doing.

      Here’s to hoping that Jarrett’s new thing goes well. If he’s learned from past mistakes (and SOMEONE in wrestling has to be able to do that, right?), he could make something awesome that TNA has shown the promise of from time to time.

      • ChrisV75 says:

        PWG is the only promotion left in the US that I care about. That’s very sad. Evolve and DGUSA have their moments, but I haven’t been able to get fully invested in either. Evolve has just faced too many set backs since the start.
        WWE and ROH are usually boring, and TNA is a mess.
        I’ve been thinking that it’s harder to find good WrestleCrap inductions in recent years. Boring and pointless doesn’t make for good comedy.

  83. Gardak says:

    I’d have a joint entry. WWE AND TNA as a whole.

    Can’t be bothered with either of them these days.

  84. D2Kvirus says:

    Was so tempted to vote for the sheer horror that is Total Divas, not least because the various “stars” seem to having a contest to see who can be the most obnoxious, unlikable waste of silicone and fake tan yet they are inexplicably booked as faces on WWE programming – even though the crowd were cheering AJ when she trashed the various “stars” of the show (while the Bellas couldn’t keep their mouths shut for five seconds), an exercise made even worse by the fact Kaitlyn sat on the shelf for months before asking for her release whilst Paige and Emma continue to be in NXT long after they should’ve been called up.

    So how can something be worse than a show where I meant to make a brief summary that turned into a mini-induction on its own?

    Simple: by exploiting the death of a former employee for cheap heat.

    Punk vs ‘Taker was set up the week before Bearer’s death, and the match sold itself – to prove he is the Best in the World, he would take The Streak to make up for not defending the WWE Title (on that note, Twice In A Lifetime should be nominated, partly because the match was terrible but also the story was that Cena only won 98% of his matches post-WM28 so he needed “redemption”…which loosely translates as “his win back”) and most fans could agree that the two of them would steal the show in the ring.

    And then Bearer died.

    As soon as they had Kane and Taker pay tribute to Bearer on Raw, you knew Punk would come out to use Bearer’s death for cheap heat, and goddamn they went past cheap heat to bargain basement heat to looting for heat in a very short space of time indeed. It’s one thing for Punk to say “I am very sorry for your loss…at WrestleMania”, but when you have Heyman dressing as Bearer just for a sneak attack from Punk with the urn it starts heading into Eddiesploitation territory, especially considering his sons saying how the version of events presented to them wasn’t close to how WWE portrayed it onscreen.

    Also, I see the version of the promo where Punk plays with the urn on WWE’s Youtube channel has cut the bit where he drops it and says “Oh shit!” Says a lot, really: you can use a former employee’s real-life death for cheap heat, but you can’t say any naughty words.

    • Shaoken says:

      “especially considering his sons saying how the version of events presented to them wasn’t close to how WWE portrayed it onscreen.”

      That was debunked as bullshit; his son said the very next day that it was exactly as the WWE had presented it to him, just seeing it in action hit a bit harder. But of course the internet smarks ran off with it and started spreading the rumour that they had basically lied to the family and they were all horrible people and yadda yadda yadda.

      Seriously, this is nowhere near Eddiesploitation; no Punk saying “Paul’s in hell!” No bringing his family into it, all in all this was rather tame, and going off of Paul’s interviews he would have loved the angle; he sounded like a pretty laid back guy who appreciated dark humour.

  85. Peter says:

    I didn’t think there a clear cut choice at first but now thinking back to it, Brooke Hogan’s reign of terror in TNA is the home run here. The Lockdown swerve by Bully was pretty nice, but that was the work of Bully Ray. Brooke is an awful actress and just had too much of the spotlight. Other thoughts:

    -If this heel character of hers stretches out an entire year I could see Dixie winning 2014.

    -Total Divas I’ve never seen before, can’t judge it.

    -The Miz was awful but don’t think he was the worst thing in wrestling in 2013.

    -The Authority angle has been brutal and should’ve been a nominee as well.

    Can’t wait for the results!

  86. Sean O says:

    Even the gooker awards for wrestling seem lackluster…no offense, just wrestling in 2013 seemed…boring to a degree.

  87. 80's Guy says:

    I went with Cesaro yodeling. That was just downright f’n ridiculous and pointless.

    And am I the only person who found the snake charming duel funny and interesting? I think if they had just let Jinder do it, and use it to garner 3MB a win, it would have ruled.

    But that’s just me.

  88. John Matrix says:

    Why is there a picture of Peg Bundy where Dixie Carter should be?

  89. Awa says:

    I voted for Total Divas, because I’m a sadist and think this would be the most painful thing to induct.

  90. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Last night I had a nightmare – Hulk Hogan returned to WWE and brought his daughter with him leading to a Brooke v Nipple H feud; anyone think of anything more horrific? Have I stumbled on a contest idea for crappiest nightmare feud???

  91. Seth says:

    I don’t know why wrestlecrap shits on the Miz so hard. It stopped being funny to dump on the guy a long time ago– Watch enough episodes of Sunday Night Heat and you’d be begging to see Miz again. Though I do agree he’s much better as a heel, there are much worse things happening with WWE right now let alone TNA. Besides, he’s legitimately a really nice person. Ryback should be getting all of this X-Pac heat instead, since not only is he awful in-ring and on mic, he’s a dick.

    ..Although he DID become the one to finally mention Big E’s titty problem on air.

  92. Mr Maddog says:

    Can’t we just lump Heel Dixie, Aces & Eights, MMA Invasion and Brooke in one nomination since TNA 2013 was a big groaner no matter what?

    My vote still goes to Toyal Divas, worthless wrestlers becoming worthless realty stars that still stink up on Raw…

    • Mr Maddog says:

      I change my vote to Dixie and made it official, not even a reality show can be as bad as Impact this year…

  93. Condor says:

    I read three words and looked at one picture to figure out my vote, after seeing all the rest of the entries: Dixie Carter: Heel. It’s got it all! A shitty, bargain-basement company run by a woman who got conned into bringing back Hogan and the Gang (Bischoff, Nash, Knobbs, etc) and would not know a good business decision if it kicked her in the face, a main angle in which we have the dreaded “evil owner” storyline that’s been done so many times we want to shoot ourselves, a horrible actor that makes us cringe every single time we see her on screen…and I have not watched one moment of Impact! Wrestling since the company dropped the “TNA” from their name, save for one part of one episode. All I do is take one look at that mug, and I KNOW it’s shit.

  94. TheDude says:

    Dixie. lame, overused gimmick, that irritating voice, the wheel of stupid. so much bad.

  95. TortureRackofDoom says:

    Looking like Heel Dixie will win, which doesn’t make any sense at all to me. Honestly don’t think it should even be nominated.

    I would vote for the shameless shilling of the WWE App, considering it fits the basic definition of Wrestlecrap: something that a wrestling promoter puts on the screen that the on-air talent has to go out and sell, despite how ridiculous it is, at no real discredit to the talent themselves.

  96. Thun says:

    Honestly, only 4 of these deserve it. And that’s being nice with Brooke “Grown Up Cum” Hogan, to say that for the first time ever on her life, she deserved to win something.

    Voted on Total Divas because… good god.

  97. Ian says:

    I voted for the Dixie angle, but there are, IMO, worse angles that went on in TNA in 2013 that should have been nominated.

    The aforementioned Bad Influence hunting down Joseph Park’s “law office” and finding it closed
    Tito vs. Rampage, all the buildup on Impact EVERY DAMN WEEK, and they got run out of town
    AJ Styles, the “champ” who, just a year ago, was in the midst of a damn love angle with the awful character that is Dixie Carter, and is now not even allowed on TV.
    BroMans as tag champs (think Team Pacman v2, one real wrestler and one non-wrestler getting pushed down our throats every week as “believable” champs)

  98. Piper's Armpit says:

    “…it is time for us to narrow down the very worst of the worst, to rightly chastise the single stupidest, most annoying, finger nails on the chalkboard gimmick, character, show, or whatever other thingamajig.”
    Miz was bad. Dixie was awful.
    I haven’t seen a millisecond of Total Divas so I cannot judge it.
    But come on … two wrestlers being pigeon holed into a racial stereotype where they play children’s instruments in an attempt to woo a sock puppet.
    And I’m not referring to Los Matadores shaking maracas in an attempt to hypnotise Mick Foley’s best bud.

  99. Joey says:

    I think everyone’s forgetting how truly awful and useless Brook Hogan was, however, the worst of year was Micheal cole shilling the app every week

  100. Thomas Moffatt says:

    I’d like to point out that Michael Cole was pretty, well actually, COMPLETELY awful throughout 2013 – the most annoying announcer in wrestling history was worse than ever (even heel Cole in the Tool Shed). So what do WWE do? They bring in an announcer who was even worse – Tony Dawson. Think of Randy Rosenbloom and Mike Adamle missed together than and placed at the announcers table…

    Tony Dawson was nothing more than an attempt to create an announcer worse than Cole so he would bag the Worst Announcer Award on the Wrestling Observer Newsletter Awards for the fifth or sixth year running – where Ventura when you have a conspiracy theory???

  101. Devil Child says:

    Oh, I hated the Punk/Taker angle with the passion of a dozen Kane angles. But at least they had a spectacular match.

    Kind of surprised the Orton title reign wasn’t nominated, but it’s mostly been boring rather than offensive. The fall of Ziggler definitely should’ve been up for consideration.

  102. Paul S. says:

    Shocked that Kane vs Bray Wyatt at Summerslam wasn’t nominated for almost killing Bray’s heat before it even started.

  103. The Ron Says says:

    For once, I actually want to see Dixie Carter. Who knew?

  104. Andrew says:

    Hard choice between Dixie and Total Divas. some of the others were meh as they weren’t that bad except Miz and Brooke

  105. TheShockmaster2.0 says:

    I would like to see a join induction that has both Dixie and Total Divas inducted.

    Missing but honorable mentions-

    Joseph Parks and the Television title. It’s pretty much revealed that Joseph Park is Abyss, but the storyline has continued way way past it’s logical conclusion. Then there’s the Television title which Abyss won from Devon. Both he and the Television title disappeared after that.

    Aces and 8s. Despite the fact that it was a complete ripoff of Son’s Of Anarchy, I was actually curious who these masked men were. When one of the members was revealed to be Devon, you could hear the air being sucked out of the building and the angle. The group was basically a complete joke as it’s members consisted of a past his prime D’Lo Brown, Garret Bischoff and Wes Brisco who were only there because of who their dads are, Doc [former WWE wrestler Luke Gallows], Tazz [who only did commentary] and Knux [Mike Knox]. Doesn’t exactly sound like a intimidating group does it? Despite such stupidity as Garrett Bischoff and Wes Brisco getting singles victories over Kurt Angle which should never happen, as well as Ken Anderson getting beat up by Aces and 8s and joining them afterwards for no reason, Doc looking to take over the group [ala Macho Man and Hogan in the NWO] however his contract is expiring and TNA chooses not to renew it…The angle went on far too long past the beyond of anyone caring, even when it was down to only three members. Not even Bully Ray for all his mic work can save this terrible angle. It seems all TNA knows how to do is storylines involving power struggles, gang wars, and N.W.O ripoffs

    Los Matadores and El Torito

    Big Show’s Iron Clad Contract and his PPV match with Randy Orton

    The MMA Invasion of TNA [The Bellator and Impact crossover]. King Mo, Rampage Jackson, and Tito Ortiz show up on TNA which they hype and ultimately….nothing happens. I knew something was odd when Tito Ortiz showed up because this was a guy who shits on professional wrestling and he looked very disinterested whenever he showed up on Impact. Rampage Jackson admits he only signed with TNA because of the money [good ole Dixie Carter giving huge contracts for guys that add nothing to the show]

    Chris Sabin’s title run. When he came back, I thought he got the belt too quick, plus his promos were very awful and forgettable. This all lead to his horrible cage match with him vs Bully Ray. Possibly the worst cage match I have ever seen.

    I would have said Ethan Carter III [Derrick Bateman] but he is still part of a ongoing angle. I hate his whole undefeated streak and the immunity he is given because he is Dixie Carter’s “nephew”. As much as I hate nepotism, I can understand why they do it. However, this is just ludicrous as kayfabe nepotism is unnecessary

  106. Creampie says:

    I am also surprised and disappointed that Big Show’s ‘iron clad’ contract isn’t included on here. In fact, you could have had the whole of Bryan’s chase against Orton with authority figures interfering as a nominee, even though it led to some good matches. Frankly, the Punk angle shouldn’t even have been on here.

    It’s all moot anyway because the winner WILL be a TNA angle yet again. I’d rather see Brooke win but the current leader is Dixie.

  107. Derik Jones says:

    I don’t see where to vote at.


  108. Christopher says:

    I have no problem w the Punk/Taker angle. It is universally accepted that if Paul Bearer could have spoken from the grave , he would have approved. That’s the wrestling culture…he would have been happy to be remembered and put in the angle. What about the Miz/Michael Strahan segment? Worst thing I’ve ever seen…

    • Thomas Moffatt says:

      Triple H v Brock Lesnar was a far more boring feud – worst match on the WM29 card – least Punk and Taker put on a match that would looked in place on any given PPV

  109. Hashington says:

    The Dixie induction should also make mention of Brooke, Bellator crossover, Aces & Eights, Joseph Abyss and all the other unwatchable garbage she approved this past year.

  110. Lee W. says:

    At the end of the day they were all pretty terrible

  111. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Tony Dawson was much worse than Cobra Charming…

  112. Dan Sheldon says:

    First time ever I don’t agree with the winner

  113. SCFNL says:

    How can people dispute Dixie winning this one? Her “character” just oozes wrestlecrap. Some of the other things that people have nominated in the comments section above just aren’t wrestlecrap in the purest form I’m afraid. A worthy winner.

  114. Down With OPC says:

    The only thing I don’t like about this winner: Isn’t the angle still going on? I thought inductions couldn’t be made until the year after the angle ends.

  115. Stephen says:

    Disappointed in this year’s choices, and winner. Heel Dixie is actually far more entertaining to watch than Face Dixie. Induct her if you want but is Dixie really down there with past Gooker winners?

    There were worse things than Heel Dixie that didn’t make the list this year. Aces & Eights and The Authority (and before it’s mentioned that The Authority don’t count because they’re ongoing, so is Heel Dixie. So is The Miz, for that matter), for example.

    • Shockmaster says:

      Well, ya, Heel Dixie is a deserved winner… I mean, the biggest problem with Heel Dixie is, that it’s Dixie Carter. The heel boss theme is not new and it’s like she was in a meeting and said something like “Now I want to be a bad person” and everyone has to follow. That’s what is so stupid about it.
      But, well, I voted for Brooke Hogan…
      The Miz would’ve been not a much deserved winner here. Yeah, he was pretty annoying 2013, but there was far worse things going on in the world of wrestling.

  116. patricko says:

    You know… I voted for Dixie, and don’t agree that she’s gooker-worthy.

    I voted for her because she came closer than any of the others.

    A horrendous story line with no / bad payoff, contained, start to finish, in 2013… I got nothin’.

    Aces & 8’s might have been close, but they started it back in 2012. All the ones nominated, were either one offs or simply not bad wrestling booking / writing. Yeah, Miz is easy to dislike.
    Yeah, Some guy yodeled, and some comedy relief wrestler had really really bad comedy relief once.

    2013 seems to be a year where while nothing was really great about wrestling, nothing in particular was really really shitty. At least, nothing that’s been resolved…

    • TheShockmaster2.0 says:

      I believe the only reason Aces and Eights wasn’t nominated was because it was still an ongoing angle at the time. Now that it’s over, I feel cheated that it wasn’t even considered for a Gooker nomination. It had even had the Bellator/Impact Crossover as well as Brooke Hogan in there, Joseph Park “I am not Abyss”. Aside from Heel Dixie, all of TNA’s bad business decisions and stupid storylines should have gone in this induction [Remember TNA Gut Check, how they did nothing with the winners and then released them usually for the pettiest of reasons. Or skipped on talented wrestlers while picking green wrestlers like Lei D Tapa because of who she is related to]

  117. Dan says:

    Seriously, this was the best you came up for this year. Why not
    -Aces N Eight
    -Angle’s Concussions
    -A.J. channels Sting
    -Joseph Park
    -John Cena overload.

    Just saying

  118. Brian says:

    Is #AskDixie going to be included in the induction? That one could take up a whole article just by itself…

  119. TortureRackofDoom says:

    Definitely the first Gooker that I disagree with completely. Disappointing.

  120. CDM says:

    I’m pretty sure I voted Dixie Carter, and though a part of me wants to stick by that it may be PTSD from when Linda McMahon wnet heel, which was the ultimate sign to me WWE had run out of ideas.

    But despite that I switch my vote to Brooke Hogan. There needs to be a rule in all of pro-wrestling that unless a wrestler’s offspring is a trained wrestler they are never to show up on-screen.

  121. Drew B says:

    I voted for Total Divas but I’m sure anything that has anything to do with Dixie Carter and TNA is Gooker worthy.

  122. Kev says:

    While Heel Dixie is definitely Gooker-worthy, it was isolated to TNA so we could at least get away from it by changing the channel. Total Divas was worse because its saturation spanned FOUR networks (USA, SyFy, Ion and E). counting all the shilling they did (and boy did they ever shill it) and the show proper, you would have to stop watching TV altogether in order to escape it.

    Not only that, but it brought the DIvas division to a low it hadn’t experienced since the Laurinaitis regime. Remember when the rise of AJ Lee, Naomi and Kaitlyn in the wake of Johnny Ace’s demotion meant the Divas division would finally matter again? That was over as soon as the show was announced. along comes Total Divas with Eva Marie, a woman so thoroughly untalented she makes Kelly Kelly look like Trish Stratus.

    Kaitlyn was virtually ignored for months before she finally quit, AJ Lee should be leading a revolution of women’s wrestling but instead feels like a transitional champion and Naomi and Natalya are only being pushed because they’re on Total Divas when they should be pushed because of their talent.

  123. Drew B says:

    Wait – you guys are talking like women’s wrestling isn’t the most boring part of the show. We need less not more.

  124. Legendwolf says:

    It seems like the real Gooker anything related to women with zero talent. From Nipple H to Total Divas and Dixie. 2013: The year women ruined wrestling

  125. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Gooker of the Year candidate for 2014 – the 2014 Royal Rumble?

  126. Richard SherMAN says:

    Is it too early to start nominations for next year? Because if not Little Dave and the 2014 Royal Rumble have got to be strong candidates.

  127. Marissa says:

    I don’t know how Miz could even be nominated for the Gooker. The way I see it, the “award” should go to the gimmick/angle/whatever that was the most outrageously annoying or stupid, not a mild annoyance that nobody really cares about and some people actually don’t mind so much. Miz has his fans. I would know.

  128. Anonymous says:

    So where is the fucking article?

    • Justin Henry says:

      posted fucking last fucking week

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