Classic Induction: Cactus Jack, Lost in Cleveland – Say It With Me: “Amnesia Angles Never Work”

10 Submitted by on Thu, 14 March 2013, 09:00

In his best selling book, Have a Nice Day: A Tale of Blood and Sweatsocks, Mick Foley went into great detail about how WCW butchered his career over and over again. He went into great detail about a series of skits known as “Lost in Cleveland”, which has in turn led to many requests for it to be covered here at WrestleCrap.

I vaguely remembered the skits. And now that I in the midst of recapping them, I wish that vague recollection is still all I had. And I’m sure Mick feels exactly the same.

A bit of a history lesson for those unfamiliar with the happenings preceeding this storyline. Cactus Jack was finally getting a bit of a push against the monster known as Big Van Vader. Vader wasn’t the watered-down wimp Hulk Hogan (and later the WWF) turned him into – no, he was a vicious beast at the height of his career. A lethal combination of strength, size, and agility, Vader brutalized opponent after opponent during his reigns as WCW Champ.

During a broadcast of WCW’s flagship program, WCW Saturday Night, Vader tackled the challenge of Cactus Jack. The match was brutal, and ended with Vader powerbombing Cactus on the concrete floor. Cactus blacked out and had to be helped to the back. It was a brutal attack, with great visuals, and since Vader had already ripped Jack’s ear off in a match in Germany, it seemed that a major feud wherein Jack sought revenge was just weeks away, and was sure to make tons of money.

Well,, that’s what SHOULD have happened.

Instead, WCW fans discovered a whole new world of pain. 

Some time after Jack was powerbombed, WCW began showing vignettes of a bogus news reporter named Catherine White who was searching of Cactus, who no one had seen since the match with Vader.

White was able to track Jack down somewhere in Cleveland, as he had befriended a group of homeless people in the area. 

One of the homeless folks was a con artist by the name of “Swampy”, who led the daffy reporter to Jack’s secret hideout.

And so we come upon Jack, giving the homeless insight on his life at sea. 

Yes, on his LIFE AT SEA.

You see, Mick Foley was no longer Cactus Jack, but rather a sea farer who had drifted ashore. He had no idea who Cactus Jack was, of course, because he had AMNESIA.

 

But, amnesia or no, Cactus was a babyface. In fact, he was able to convince Swampy that he was better off working for a living than drinking (maybe he should have talked to Jake Roberts)…

…and he also repaired little children’s bicycles

I think I can say without fear of argument that there’s not a man, woman, or child reading this that wouldn’t take their bike to Cactus Jack’s All Night Holistic Bicycle Repair Shoppe.

White decides, for whatever reason, that she should make Cactus remember who he really is. So she recruits Cactus’ wife Colette and his son Dewey.

Of course, WCW felt that Cactus’ real life wife was too attractive, so they hired some frumpy woman to play her instead!

“Colette” made a plea to Jack… 

…which infuriated his new girlfriend, known as “Bang Bang”. 

This led to Colette running away in tears, Dewey in tow.

 

So what happened? What was the exciting conclusion, you ask? Well, Cactus made a surprise return at a Clash of the Champions special, and attacked Vader. You see, this whole thing was just a big set-up all along, and Cactus only pretended he had amnesia to get inside Vader’s head!

I only wish I had amnesia, and could never remember this angle ever again.

 

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10 Responses to "Classic Induction: Cactus Jack, Lost in Cleveland – Say It With Me: “Amnesia Angles Never Work”"
  1. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    Even by WCW standards, this was stupid and pointless.

  2. patricko says:

    I remember watching one of these segments, where there was a guy who was doing a bad Nicholson impersonation.

    Only positive about this fiasco was that they realized it sucked, and they pulled the plug earlier than planned.

  3. The Gold Standard says:

    and dumped it on Mike Rotunda….Captain Mike anybody?

  4. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Along with amnesia, angles that never work include weddings, dancing, religion and excrement – for examples please see Wrestlecrap…

  5. JimbolianJimJimbJolianbJiSmbJimJim says:

    If you have WWE Classics On Demand, you can watch part 1 of this hubbub on WCW Worldwide ’93. As a huge plus, they also got previous inductee the Beach Blast ’93 Promo featuring the one and only CHEATUM!

  6. Forest George says:

    Why was Mike Rotundo – the Captain of a Boat?

    • "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

      Well um… because.. uh… because he was the “Captain” of the Varsity Club.. and… that’s about it.

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