Headlies: WWE’s stringent no-urine policy continues to outrage fans

11 Submitted by on Sun, 27 July 2014, 12:00

Since 2008, WWE has attempted to project a more family-friendly image to earn a TV-PG rating and appeal to a wider demographic. Among the changes the company has instituted, such as milder language and a ban on chair-shots to the head, one policy has vexed long-time fans more than any other: the total ban on urine in matches.

Gone is the old, more adult-oriented WWE, which put on such pay-per-views as “Piss-Poor” and released DVDs with titles like “Pissing Contest: The Dampest Matches.” And with it, argue hardcore fans, has died a beloved bygone era.

 piss poordampest matches

Fans fondly recall wrestling’s glory days of the 1980s when rings, especially those of the NWA, would host brutal battles featuring the likes of Ric Flair and Dusty Rhodes where urine would stain and even pool on the mat. “How can we have those classic encounters today, now that the wrestlers are basically handcuffed and forced to put on tame so-called ‘brawls,’” complained one fan on an online forum. “There have been some good matches during the PG Era, but if you take away that dramatic element, urine, the wrestlers simply can’t convey the kind of intensity that they used to. And from a realism standpoint, are we really expected to believe that a wrestler can take so many shots to the gut or get knocked out repeatedly, yet never, ever lose control of their bodily functions?”

pee-soaked ring

In days past, the prospect of two wrestlers beating the piss out of each other often took precedence in fans’ eyes over other elements of a match. Indeed, so popular was urine among some circles that the so-called “Muta Scale” was invented, named for The Great Muta, a wrestler who famously peed himself uncontrollably in a 1992 match against Hiroshi Hase. The scale allows fans to describe just how piss-soaked a wrestler is, whether it be a slight trickle down the leg or the proverbial “Golden Trunks.”

muta urine scale

Today, the only time fans will see wrestlers wet their pants is when it occurs inadvertently, or “pissing hardway,” according to industry slang. In recent years, stars such as Triple H and Natalya have had accidents after being hit too hard in the abdomen.

 hhhspotnatalya-pee

Official protocol is to halt a match temporarily should a wrestler start peeing him- or herself. A famous instance occurred in 2012, when Brock Lesnar brutalized John Cena, leading the top star to piss himself twice within the first few minutes of the match. Each time, trainers and referees rushed in with rubber gloves and towels to mop up the urine and make sure Cena had regained continence. Fans were outraged at this and other occasions when in-ring action ground to a standstill, taking the audience’s attention right out of the match and squandering a golden (no pun intended) opportunity to exploit the real-life physical drama playing out in front of them.

The flip side to the argument is that all that urine can be perilous to the wrestlers, referees, and other ringside personnel. “No other employees in the world would be asked to have unprotected contact with urine night after night for no extra money,” said former wrestler and Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura. “It’s unsanitary and, frankly, disgusting. Had there been a wrestlers’ union in the 1980s, I doubt we would have seen a fraction of the piss-baths that we did.”

Defenders of the no-urine policy can also point to retired stars such as the aforementioned Ric Flair to demonstrate the long-term damage that repeated in-ring urination can have. In his heyday, Flair would relieve himself in his trunks every night to the delight of fans who wanted nothing more than to see their favorite wrestlers beat the piss out of him. Flair and his colleagues would ingest copious amounts of water (for volume) and asparagus (for color) to make the effect as dramatic as possible. Today, Flair’s body tells an even more dramatic story; after decades of in-ring urination, Flair suffers visible rashes on his groin area.

Other respected names in the wrestling world oppose urination on artistic grounds. “Promoters would overdo it,” says former WWE announcer Jim Ross, famed for his exclamation of “He is spraying all over!” whenever a wrestler had the urine pummeled out of him by his opponent. “‘Yellow turns to green,’ the old saying went. After a while, a wrestler could piss buckets and the fans wouldn’t react. They had gotten used to it. Urine should never be used to create drama, only to add to it.” Ross went on to recommend that urine be used sparingly by promoters and be limited to once or twice a year, and only for big-time, money-making feuds.

Still, legions of wrestling fans pine for the good old days, trying in vain to make their voices heard. After unsuccessfully petitioning WWE with a collection of 5,000 e-signatures, our wrestling fan sounded disappointed, but not defeated. “Urine is as much a part of wrestling as the Irish whip or the headlock. Besides, it’s not like it’s the kind of bodily fluid that can spread diseases like Hepatitis or HIV. Then our objections would just be insane.”

Written by

A wrestling fan ever since the days of Wrestlemania IX, Art graduated from college in the same building where Art Donovan called King of the Ring 1994. He currently runs the "How Much Does This Guy Weigh?" blog, where he reviews New Generation-Era Monday Night Raws and Hasbro WWF figures. Email at: art@wrestlecrap.com
11 Responses to "Headlies: WWE’s stringent no-urine policy continues to outrage fans"
  1. John C says:

    COO Triple H reiterated to the fans that any and all fecal matter was still a go. “Let’s face it as long as my father in law still giggles over the word poop we’re still going to be a brown company. I’m sure at some point Cena will lead The Authority into another trap where feces will rain down upon us from the ceiling.” A grim faced Randy Orton was quick (somewhat) to add, “From my cold dead hands will they take away my rights to bear and drop crap on to other peoples’ personal belongings.”

  2. Andre R. says:

    Funny, I thought chair shots to the head were banned in *all* pro wrestling *everywhere* cuz too many dudes were getting brain damaged. And then they either go the Bret Hart route (whine and complain to anyone who will listen about how much they were screwed over) or the Chris Benoit route (let’s not even go there).

    Am I missing something here?

  3. Mr. Glen says:

    Was this written by BM Punk? I know he usually rambles on about faeces but did he change his motif so Deal wouldn’t get this immediately deleted?

  4. Jeremy says:

    Don’t worry, TNA (or should that be Pee-NA?) will pick up the slack and have urine in every match on Impact

  5. Down With OPC says:

    No joke, this was an actual dream I had six years ago:

    “Someone suggested to me to put on a CD and give to someone all of WWE’s “Peeing On” matches. The object of these matches was too pee on your opponent (or at least pee in a cup and throw it at your opponent). There had been like 10 in WWE history, the first one in 1986 featuring the Big Show and a tag partner vs. the Iron Sheik and his partner. There was also one in 1999, which featured (I believe) Big Show again, Triple H, Booker T, and Rey Mysterio. Not quite sure who was tagging with whom for that one. I think the last one took place either that same year or in 2001, with Billy Gunn in the match. The 1986 one somehow featured Michael Cole on commentary as it transitioned into the 1999 version. Anyway, Aerosmith (or maybe Rush) did covers of these matches in music form, then 10 other bands did covers of these (no idea which bands). I expressed my gratitude for all of this by attempting to pee (or at least throw a cup of pee) at the Titantron that was playing the matches above my garage.”

  6. Andre R. says:

    Sorry, I dont think this one is that funny. I am allowed to disagree with posts here, I hope.

  7. Thomas Moffatt says:

    Not all are familiar with urinating during a match – Psycho Sid mistook a call during the WM13 main event with the Undertaker and painted the backdoor instead…

  8. Lee W. says:

    So that’s why Hulk Hogan wore yellow trunks for as long as he did

  9. Doc 902714 says:

    A wrestler doesn’t necessarily have to be beat up to lose bodily functions. Remember when Pat Patterson had hardly broken a sweat when he stinkfaced Rikishi in his skid marked underwear?

  10. MrMaddog says:

    But…but…but…how can you have new material for a web site called WrestleCRAP??

leave a comment