Headlies: Vince McMahon And Roman Reigns Officially “On A Break”

4 Submitted by on Mon, 27 June 2016, 08:00


Miami, FL – Former WWE World Heavyweight Champion Roman Reigns waited patiently for his date to arrive at the esteemed French restaurant Palme D’or.

They had originally agreed to meet at 8 o’clock and Roman made sure to show up early as to not upset his better half. He checked his watch and audibly sighed as the time read 8:45. Just then, Vince McMahon walked up to the table.

“Sorry I’m late, pal,” said McMahon, sitting down to the table. “What looks good here?”

“That’s it?” said a frustrated Reigns. “You said 8 o’clock was a good time. I’ve been sitting here like an idiot for almost an hour. I ate like two loaves of bread waiting for you. You know I eat when I get stressed.”

“Work is hectic this time of year,” said McMahon in a dismissive tone. “Not that you have to worry about that…”

“Oh, that’s low,” said Reigns, tears welling in his eyes. “How could you be so cruel?!”

“Lower your voice,” implored McMahon. “People are staring at us.”

“Good!” said Reigns, pounding his fist on the table. “I hope everyone sees how you toy with people’s emotions. One day you’re all about Seth Rollins. Then you’re all about me. Now you’re totally into Dean Ambrose. It’s all just a game to you, isn’t it? Do you even care? I don’t…I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

“Hey, hey, big man, don’t cry,” said McMahon as he gently patted Reigns on the shoulder. “Of course, I care about you. I wouldn’t have pushed you so hard if I didn’t. Look, this is just a difficult time for all of us. Maybe…maybe we should just take a break. Kind of recharge our batteries and come back in a few weeks and see if we can work things out.”

“A…a break?” stammered Reigns before bursting into tears.

“Can I get the La Selle De Chevreuil to go please?” McMahon asked a waiter. He turned back to Reigns and dabbed his eyes with a napkin. “It’s only temporary, sweetie. In a few days, you’ll feel better about the whole thing. And who knows, Sumerslam is just around the corner and I need a big, strong Superstar in the main event.”

“Really?” sniffed Reigns. “You mean it?”

“Believe that!” said McMahon as the two embraced tightly.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
4 Responses to "Headlies: Vince McMahon And Roman Reigns Officially “On A Break”"
  1. Raven7309 says:

    I’m surprised that Vince didn’t say to Roman that they could still be friends. Ah well, maybe after Roman’s third violation.

  2. Geoff says:

    Oh now’s freaky. But not surprising actually. Meanwhile sitting at another table across the room Triple H and Stephanie were having the exact same conversation however it wasn’t kayfabe and by the end of their date they would be in each other’s arms, in their bedroom waiting till the kids went to sleep… again… for the third time… in an hour.

  3. Brother Nero Cage says:

    Vince decided he and his um, friend should take Roman Holiday apart from each other. He hated to Reign on Roman’s parade but he guaran-DAMN-tees Roman will look strong, REALLY strong come Summerslam. Belee dat!

leave a comment