Headlies: The Authority Accidentally Leaves Fandango Home Alone

8 Submitted by on Mon, 18 April 2016, 08:00


Greenwich, CT – A family vacation by Triple H and Stephanie McMahon was abruptly cut short when they released that they had accidentally left WWE Superstar Fandango home alone.

The Authority, who were traveling to Disneyworld for some rest and relaxation, did not notice the missing Fandango when the extended McMahon family piled into Triple H’s minivan nor when they checked their bags at the airport. Somewhere over Virginia, right before falling asleep, Stephanie realizes that they had forgotten to bring Fandango.

Fandango took his new-found freedom in stride. For breakfast, he ate an entire carton of Friendly’s Black Cherry Chocolate Chunk ice cream and washed it down with a 2-Liter bottle of Sunkist. He then spent several hours playing Mortal Kombat that he borrowed from his friend Davey Otunga. Stephanie wasn’t around, so she couldn’t tell him it was too violent.

The fun and games ended when two criminals known as The Wet Bandits, tried to break into the house. Through creativity, determination, and incredible dance moves, Fandango was able to defeat the burglars and bring them to justice.

Just as the bad guys were being carted away, Stephanie ran through the door, giving Fandango a big hug.

“Sorry about that, champ,” said Triple H patting Fandango on the head. “Hope you didn’t get in to too much trouble like accidentally winning the Intercontinental Championship or something.”

“Oh, my sweet Fandango!” said Stephanie, tears streaming down her face. “We’re so sorry! We’ll never let this happen again. It’ll be always be you, me, Hunter, the girls, and…wait, where is The Great Khali?”

“Aw, crap!” exclaimed Triple H. “I knew we forgot something in New York!”

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
8 Responses to "Headlies: The Authority Accidentally Leaves Fandango Home Alone"
  1. Xenomorph says:

    Can’t wait to watch the sequel of Khali being lost in New York.

  2. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    Ha!!! Nice! 🙂

  3. Geoff says:

    Then the third segment: Home Alone: Vince In retirement

    Synopsis: Triple H, Steph and Shane have made an agreement that Vince needs to go to an assisted living home. As they are packing up and going to take him, they leave and somewhere between Stamford Conn and Orlando Fla, they notice he is not with them. Watch as the hijinks ensue as Vince finds himself all alone and at no one else’s mercy when he meets the kids of the Wet Bandits.

    – Triple H as Triple H,
    – Eva Mendez as Stephanie McMahon,
    – The Rock Dwayne Johnson as Shane McMahon,
    – Clint Eastwood as Vince McMahon,
    – Danny Trejo as Mastermind of the Wet bandits,
    – Izzy Azelea as Mastermind’s daughter,
    – Sophia Vegera as Mastermind’s Wife,
    – Zac Effron as Wet Bandit #1 (is in love with Mastermind’s daughter),
    – Chris Tucker as Wet Bandit 2 (is in love with Mastermind’s wife),
    – Saiorse Roanan as tag along wet bandit #3.
    – Jackie Chan as Detective Chan from the 9th District ward,
    – Chris Tucker as Detective John Rock (in a second role, playing as himself), Chan’s partner
    – John Goodman as police chief Vince Larkin

    • Don Townsend says:

      my lord what I wouldn’t give for the WWE to trademark the name The Wet Bandits. I’m thinking a tag team along the lines of the New Age Outlaws except they always appear to be soaking wet and never dry off. maybe a possible Young Bucks gimmick if they ever get signed?

      either that or we could at least get a WWE film out of it. Maybe have The Miz and his wife Maryse co star as scuba diving instructors. She gets kidnapped by somebody that was relevant 20 years ago…..maybe Christian Slater or Tom Berenger. They blackmail The Miz into leading a team of burglars to a sunken treasure to get her back but the treasure is under the protection of some indigenous tribe that has remained hidden from civilization. also starring Vinnie Jones and Jamie Kennedy.

      or if that fails, at least have Emma put out a sex tape filmed entirely in a swimming pool and have camera footage of her stealing an iPhone case from Wal-Mart interspersed with the action. Could come in a 3 pack with One Night In Chyna and Humpamania (or whatever Hogan’s is being called).

  4. Geoff says:

    I’m sorry, as I think about it. Fran Drescher should be Stephanie. Not Eva. That’s a total putdown for Eva but the breast size is the same.

    • Thomas Moffatt says:

      Yeah one has a way more annoying voice than the other – no way Drescher could compete with Nipple H in the annoying voice stakes.

  5. Brian Jacobs says:

    Hey I learned something as I had to look up Friendly’s since we don’t have that in Canada. I can’t be the only one though picturing Fandango dancing to the Mortal Kombat song. I hope Otunga gave him the blood code if it’s on the SEGA Genesis-good times. Can’t wait for the sequel to this entry with the Great Khali too-he has to get to the sanctuary of the McMahon family the old MSG where he can set up some amazing traps…or just have the Wet Bandits meet the NY Knicks which could scare anyone considering their recent seasons. Great entry as always!

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