Headlies: STIFLED CM PUNK TELLS FANS HE WANTS TO START SEEING OTHER FANS

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 13:07

Text by Justin Henry; Photoshoppery by RD Reynolds
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STIFLED CM PUNK TELLS FANS HE WANTS TO START SEEING OTHER FANS
By Justin Henry

Chicago – WWE Champion CM Punk has undergone many changes over the past year. Since his ascent to the top of World Wrestling Entertainment, in the process becoming WWE Champion for a sustained period of time, Punk has taken on a wider fan base of young, hero-loving children to go along with his time-tested wave of smarter, harder-to-please cheering section.

Juggling two separate groups of fans has proven to be a source of wear for Punk, who finds himself having to please both the impressionable children who buy his merchandise, and the older fans who swear undying loyalty to him by fighting the corporate leviathan and not buying the PPVs he appears on.

In a recent tweet, citing both burnout and the feeling of being trapped, CM Punk has told fans that he would like to see other fans, at least for a little while.

“It’s nothing personal,” Punk said. “I just don’t want to spread myself and my mind thin by falling into a trap of being a caricature.”

“I don’t know how long it’ll be, but I have to step back. Enough pandering to shirt buyers, and people ‘too cool’ to like their favorite hobby.”

Already on the move, Punk was recently spotted at a deli in nearby Villa Park with an elderly gentleman. TMZ captured several photos of the episode, but Punk, usually one to hate impolite intrusions, seemed very cavalier about embracing the attention.

“I’m here with Arthur, who’s a fan of the old time wrestling,” said Punk. “I never saw myself hanging out with folks of his ilk, but he’s a wonderful guy who’s told me all about Joe Stecher. I found myself not even checking my watch!”

“Punk’s a good kid, and I love hearing his youthful perspective,” said Arthur Denlo, a retired construction worker. “Usually when I see a fellow covered in that many tattoos and has matted-down greasy hair, I assume he’s a homeless circus freak. But he bought me soup and wanted to talk about ‘kids today.’ Nobody ever asks me how I feel about kids today, and he just sighed with a smile every time I spoke! I like him.”

Punk and Denlo then adjourned to visit a sporting goods store, as Punk grew concerned about his elder’s posture, and wanted him to have a more ergonomic shuffleboard stick.

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Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)

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