Spartansburg, SC – Following his biting promo on this week’s Monday Night RAW in Greenville, South Carolina, WWE Superstar Ryback had a celebratory meal at a Golden Corral. Unfortunately for the restaurant, Ryback’s chant of “Feed me more!” proved disastrous to their bottom line, forcing them to close.
“We were so excited to have a real celebratory eating dinner here,” said restaurant manager Chester Banks. “We had RAW playing on the TVs like we do every week and couldn’t believe when Mr. The Ryback came in. I figured he worked up a mighty big appetite, so we set him up with a bacon wrapped sirloin, ribs, 2 chicken pot pies, a mess of rolls, some potato salad, a bowl of broccoli cheese soup, and a slice of chocolate cake. He’s a big guy, but we get bigger on a regular basis. That’s why our chairs have wheels, you see. I thought that’d be enough for him. It was gone in seconds.”
19-year old server Sheila Lewis knew something was amiss when Ryback placed his order. “I asked him what he wanted to drink and he just yelled ‘Gravy!’. By the time I came back to the table with a pitcher of gravy, he had already grabbed entire trays of country fried steak, jumbo shrimp, and butter noodles from the hot buffet line for himself. I came back an hour later and asked if he was done with his third meat lover’s pizza. He just screamed “Finish it!” before slapping his head and shoving the entire thing into his mouth.”
Patron Richard Cheng tried to get an autograph from Ryback, which led to disastrous results. “He poured chocolate sauce on my arm and bit me!” screamed Richard as he was being placed into an ambulance.
The feeding frenzy lasted well after closing and stopped only when WWE trainer Bill DeMott came in to collect Ryback. Covered in barbeque sauce and ranch dressing, Ryback sheepishly looked at the floor and muttered, “Aw, c’mon Bill. I’m not done yet.” Demott proceeded to grab Ryback’s ear and drag him out of the restaurant.
“He cleaned out our entire supply of food in one night. He even ate some of the furniture. The only thing he left was the creamed corn. No one eats the creamed corn,” said Banks. “We’re going to have to close down now. That’s all there is to it.”
Ryback was last seen sneaking into a Cracker Barrel at 3AM.