Headlies: NEXT WWE TAG TEAM TO EXPERIENCE UNNECESSARY SPLIT WILL BE DETERMINED BY RANDOM DRAW

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 13:10

Text by Justin Henry; Photoshoppery by RD Reynolds
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NEXT WWE TAG TEAM TO EXPERIENCE UNNECESSARY SPLIT WILL BE DETERMINED BY RANDOM DRAW
By Justin Henry

Stamford, CT – With four tag teams receiving regular gasps of air time in World Wrestling Entertainment these days (Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, The Prime Time Players, Epico and Primo, and The Usos), many have wondered how long WWE can sustain this minor resurgence in tag team wrestling.

Specifically, when will WWE cut off their legs of their own promising branch?

As it stands now, each of the four teams will attend a random drawing this Monday before Raw goes live, in order to determine which team will be the next one to be split without any provocation.

“I’m a little concerned, but at least there’s a reasonable aftermath,” said Epico, who has teamed with his cousin Primo for close to one year. “I figure if it’s us, we can feud for about 3 or 4 weeks before the blowoff match on Saturday Morning Slam. It’s good that we have some kind of avenue to settle….whatever it is to settle, I don’t know.”

With just four teams, logic dictates that WWE would want to make the most out of their division, and increase the visibility of all four duos.

“My longtime friend Harry and I were victimized by this kind of draw a couple years back,” said Tyson Kidd. “We were having a great run, and then we had our names drawn out, and we were bummed. We even asked Vince, who was giddy through the whole process, what Harry and I would do next. He mumbled something about “that Florida place where they package the help” and wandered off.”

The draw is unpopular among the workers, but is apparently a favorite of the office.

“It makes it easier for us to can people,” said former talent relations VP John Laurinaitis. “When we cut a guy, we tell him he’s become useless, and he’ll say “I was fine when I was in a team!” and I point out that he’s not in a team, is he? Sometimes they sputter so much, they almost cry. The only thing that turns me on more than that is carnival skanks in lingerie.”

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Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)

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