Sakai, Osaka Prefecture, Japan – Abunai! Industries, famous for producing the dreaded “Green Mist”, prepared to close their factory doors for the final time this week, effectively ending an era in Japanese wrestling.
The “Green Mist” was a common illegal maneuver used in wrestling where one wrestler would spit the poison directly into the eyes of their opponent, leaving them temporarily blinded. While green was the most common form of the mist, there were others including “Red Mist” which caused an extremely painful burning sensation, “Black Mist” which caused a longer-lasting blindness, “Blue Mist” which put an opponent to sleep, “Yellow Mist” which paralyzed an opponent, and the rarely-used “Brown Mist” which caused an opponent to take multiple showers and receive a tetanus shot.
“There were many sad faces today, but we knew this was coming for a long time,” said Abunai! Industries president and CEO Takeshi Fukada. “Thanks to the popularity of legends like The Great Kabuki, Killer Khan, Great Muta, and Kendo Nagasaki, there were dozens of factories producing many of the mists used by Japanese wrestlers,” he said, gesturing slightly to the empty factories that dotted the surrounding area.
“Tajiri carried the banner through the late 90′s and early 2000′s, but unfortunately, non-legitimate wrestlers started to use it. People like Gangrel with his stupid fake blood. Even Roxxi Leaveaux once used ‘Purple Mist’. That’s not even a thing! The final straw was when Hornswoggle used the Green Mist on a mini Boogeyman. Hornswoggle!” shouted Fukada. He then muttered several swear words in Japanese under his breath.
“I don’t know why WWE does nothing with Yoshi Tatsu,” he said to himself.
Fukada sighed deeply, gazing at his factory one last time. As he was about to lock the gates, a worker shouted “Teishi! Do not lock the gates! I have great news! The Great Muta and Seiya Sanada will be competing at TNA Lockdown this Sunday!
Fukada flung open the gates and shouted, “We are back in business!”