Headlies: Jim Cornette Slaps Santino For Breaking Character During Retirement Speech

10 Submitted by on Fri, 18 July 2014, 08:00

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Louisville, KY – During a live event at Freedom Hall in Louisville, WWE Superstar and former Intercontinental Champion Santino Marella announced his retirement to the local crowd. Forgoing his usual Italian accent and comedic walk, Marella addressed the crowd in a serious manner, mentioning his various neck injuries. The heartfelt speech was interrupted by former WWE, NWA, TNA, ROH, and Smokey Mountain Wrestling star, Jim Cornette.

Fans were shocked to see the legendary manager come through the crowd, gingerly hop over the guardrail, and enter the ring to confront Marella. Cornette grabbed the microphone from Marella mid-sentence, yelling “I’ve got five words for you, Santino: ‘Are you freaking kidding me?’ I was doing my podcast ‘The Jim Cornette Experience’ on MLW.com high atop Castle Cornette and I just knew that there  was something wrong with the pro wrestling Force. Call it a seventh sense. The sixth being knowing when Vince Russo is about to royally screw something up. You’ve been in this business how long and now of all times you break character? This is professional wrestling, not your coming out party.”

As Marella began to protest, Cornette slapped him across the face, drawing a loud gasp from the crowd.

What are you gunna to do about that, Santina?” said Cornette, referencing Marella’s cross-dressing character from several years ago. “You’re gunna tell me you’re just plain old Anthony Carelli from freaking Mississauga, Ontario now? Are you just going to eat some donuts and watch ‘Saturday Night in Canada’? You gunna start saying ‘aboot’ and ‘sorry’ now? You might as well just piss on Brusier Brody’s grave while you’re at it. Make sure you squat down real low before you do it, Santina. Wouldn’t want you to ruin your dress. Stop trying to feed these people a pound of bullshit with a teaspoon, you dumbass!”

Cornette then slapped Marella across the face again.

Well, I do declare, Mr. Cornette, I believe I have the vapors,” said Marella in a southern accent.

Bewildered, Cornette slapped Marella again.

Crikey, mate. I feel like a bloomin’ onion after a dingo’s been at it,” said Marella in an Australian accent.

Incredulous, Cornette slapped Marella a fourth time.

Mama mia!” exclaimed Marella. “It’s-a me, Santino Marella. I give-a you dah Cobra and have-a the nice pizza pie.”

That’s better,” said Cornette. “Now do your stupid little constipated walk out of here before my hands get too tired.”

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10 Responses to "Headlies: Jim Cornette Slaps Santino For Breaking Character During Retirement Speech"
  1. John C says:

    Corny then was thrown into a cake that was brought out for Santino. Jimmy later asked Santino to pick up something for him from Burger King as Cornette is still banned for life from entering into any of them.

    • TheGreatPuta says:

      Hmm, I guess the Burger King heard about what happened at Dairy Queen. Nobody fucks with the King’s bitch. Nobody.

  2. Guilty Party says:

    Getting slapped around by Cornette was probably the best thing that ever happened to Santino’s career.

  3. Autrach Sejanoz says:

    Didn’t Cornette once call Santino “a jobber with a drinking problem”?
    Considering that’s the ONLY time I’ve ever heard anything about it, what the hell, Cornette?

  4. Vealchop says:

    The only reason I can tell this is a headlie is because it’s more entertaining than anything on RAW these days.

  5. Sir Thomas says:

    Never had Santino pegged as a sufferer of Fred Flinstone syndrome, but all that slapping clearly proved otherwise.

  6. Andre R. says:

    Damn. I don’t know who hates who more: Cornette – Russo, or you guys – Cornette!

    I think this was one was a little harsh. The guy has a right to be angry, especially after all the crap he’s been through. I think he’s earned the right to be a little bit critical, don’t you?

  7. Thomas Moffatt says:

    I look forward to the headlie that tells us that Christian has been off because he has to grow his hair long again so he doesn’t look too much like Triple H at the orders of Nipple H…

  8. Patricko says:

    For those who didn’t know, Cornette slapped Santino around in OVW, back in the days of the Boogeyman. Boogeyman was supposed to be this big, terrifying creature, and Santino laughed as he entered the ring during a match, and Cornette slapped him backstage.
    I believe that’s the legend. Good headlie!

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