Headlies: Items Go On Clearance At WWEShop.com

16 Submitted by on Fri, 27 December 2013, 08:00

wweshop

New York, NY – In what has become a yearly WWE tradition similar to firings after Wrestlemania, multiple items at WWEShop.com have gone on clearance the day after Christmas.

WWE’s Chief Revenue and Marketing Officer Michelle D. Wilson said, “Even though Christmas has passed, it is still the season of giving. We here at WWE are thrilled to be able to bring quality products to the WWE Universe at a reduced price. It’s our special way of saying ‘Happy Holidays’ to all our loyal fans.”

A list of items on clearance include:

His & Hers Coal Miner’s Gloves
All-Glass Sin Cara action figure
“Which One Is Rosa Mendes?” T-Shirt
The Official Jo-Jo wig
Sheamus Mayonnaise (Packs of 6)
The “Where In The World Is JTG?” board game
Wyatt Family Snuggie
Zeb Coulter-inspired cologne “Xenopobia”
Randy Orton Women’s Handbags
Yoshi Tatsu “Never Show Up” flannel pants
Drew McIntyre eyeliner
CM Punk “Can You Believe All These Marks?” Hoodie
Replica “Calgary Kid” mask
Prime Time Players bib
Ryback motorized toothbrush
The Marine 4 starring Tony Chimel dvds
Paul Roma “Legends” T-Shirt
Zack Ryder’s solo album “Brother, Can You Put Me In A Squash Match?”
The Great Khali Boyfriend Body Pillow
WWE ‘Jakked’ Logo Water Bottle
The Dolph Ziggler Official Neckbrace (Hot Pink only)
Youth-Sized “Sexual Chocolate” T-Shirt
King Haku toy crown (King Haku action figure sold separately)
Wade Barrett’s dignity
Curt Hawkins

While initial numbers of sales have yet to be reported, Wilson did mention one large order being sent to a “D. Carter” in Orlando, Florida.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown. If you like horror movies, check out www.365daysofhorrormovies.blogspot.com
16 Responses to "Headlies: Items Go On Clearance At WWEShop.com"
  1. Jay "The Brain" Mann says:

    …I’d buy everything listed. Twice.

  2. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    Outstanding!

  3. MJA says:

    Might be my favourite Headlie ever. Hilarious!

  4. Alexandru says:

    Haha at Wade Barrett’s Dignity (though his dignity/career was in shambles in Cena literally buried him under a pile of chairs at TLC a few years ago).

  5. RD Reynolds says:

    Legit could see them selling the Wyatt Family snuggie.

  6. Alan says:

    Tony Chimel in “The Marine 4″? License to print money!

  7. Adam Cota says:

    Damn, I was hoping the crown came with Haku as illustrated… but I would watch the hell out of The Marine IV starring Tony Chimel. I wonder if they’ll have a Chaperone 2 starring Jerry Lawler…

    • John says:

      “We here at WWE apologize for the Haku snafu however we are willing to send you our official Randy Orton feces collection to put in the Women’s Handbag free of charge. Perhaps you’d be interested in a Daniel Bryan Beard Soup Strainer or the new Miz T-shirt that reads, Honestly I main evented at WrestleMania. Good day from Titan Towers.”

  8. Thomas Moffatt says:

    No Least Worst of Stephanie McMahon DVD?

    • TMS says:

      There is no such thing as “The Least Worst” of Stephanie McMahon. Unless it’s two hours of a blank DVD.

      On the other hand, the last three items made me legit laugh out loud.

  9. Raven7309 says:

    Might I add:
    The Authority “C.O.O. Earplugs and blinders.” Gives you the ability to ignore the fans’ “YES!!” chants for Daniel Bryan.

    Randy Orton “Replica Lips”. Attach them to any member of the Authorities’ ass to keep your job after your 3rd wellness violation.

    Brock Lesnar action figure with “Laughing my Ass Off” voice chip for those times when you just can’t believe how much money WWE is paying you for less than 1/2 a dozen matches since your comeback.

  10. Down With OPC says:

    Aww man, they’re out of Batista Basketballs?

  11. BaltoJim says:

    What, no Ultimate Warrior WWE 2K14 Suck Cup???

  12. His Bubbliness says:

    I don’t care what it takes, we need someone on that Marine 4 movie NOW!

  13. Best in the World says:

    I would definitely buy the CM Punk “Can you believe all these marks?” hoodie

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