Henderson, NV – Diehard wrestling fans Colby Cooper and Bryson St. James have vowed that despite totally and utterly hating everything WWE has done in the past year, they will only buy a small amount of shirts off of the WWE website.
The college sophomores scanned the Shop WWE website in hopes of finding good deals for just a few t-shirts.
“Survivor Series was 100% balls,” said Colby while adding an “I got shellshocked by Ryback” shirt to his checkout cart. “No one cares about Reigns, everyone good is hurt, and Creative both sucks and blows.”
Bryson agreed, saying “I hate WWE. I hate them so much. I almost didn’t go to the house show a few months ago and I barely buy any downloadble content for WWE2K16. Oh, dude, we have to get that ‘Brie Mode’ shirt. It’s on clearance for $5.99! People will eat that up at the next Paragon Pro Wrestling show.”
“Too sweet!” shouted Colby while doing a crotch-chop. “Man, I gotta tweet that to Triple H. It’ll blown his mind.”
“I bet they think we’re so stupid,” said Bryson, checking the WWE app on his phone. “I’m totally going to stick it to them by getting shirts from wrestlers I like. Once they see that people only buy shirts for Kevin Owens, Cesaro, and Finn Balor, WWE will finally get the message. Idiots.”
“We’ll just keep it to 5 shirts apiece,” said Colby, taking out his official WWE Money In The Bank credit card. “Gotta let them know we won’t put up with a garbage product anymore. Bro, I’d look so good in this Ziggler ‘I’m too good’ muscle t-shirt. I’ll get two.”