Anchorage, AK – WWE Superstar Heath Slater was finally drafted this weekend and will become the new star of Saturday Morning Slam.
Initially, Slater had gone undrafted by bother the Raw and Smackdown brands, leaving him without a place to wrestle. His luck changed, though, when he received an email from Saturday Morning Slam’s new General Manager saying that he had been drafted. The GM sent Slater a plane ticket that took him to Anchorage, Alaska, the new permanent home of Saturday Morning Slam.
Slater entered the empty Ben Boeke Ice Arena early on Monday morning. The hockey rink was still dark and Slater stumbled around trying to find a light. “Hello?” shouted Slater into the darkness. “Mr. General Manager? It’s Heath Slater. The Red Dragon? The new star of your show? The One-Man Rock Band? Hello?”
A small television screen turned on with Daniel Bryan appearing on screen via satellite.
“Hey, buddy. Glad to see you made it. Hope the 20-hour flight wasn’t too bad.” said Bryan.
“DB! It’s go to see you, bay-bee!” said Slater. “I’m ready to rock and roll Saturday Morning Slam!”
“Glad to hear it, Heath,” said Bryan. You know how much SMS means to me. I was the Dazzler of that show. I brought Saturday mornings pizazz! Showmanship! Fun! I know you’ll be able to do the same thing, which is why I’m dubbing you “The Spazzler!”
“I won’t let you down, boss! I will make you proud to be the general manager of Saturday Morning Slam!” said Slater while rummaging around the rink’s snack bar for a hot pretzel.
“Whoa, whoa whoa,” objected Bryan. “I’m not the GM of Saturday Morning Slam. I’m too busy with Smackdown.”
“Well, if you’re not the GM than who is?” inquired Slater, while tearing open a mustard packet with his teeth.
“He should be there right now,” said Bryan.
Slater squinted as a shape began to appear in the distance. He accidentally squirted mustard all over himself when he realized that the new general manger was none other than a real, live grizzly bear.
“You should’ve known that SMS is also known for bears!” said Bryan before signing off.
Saturday Morning Slam is set to make it’s debut on Saturday, September 3rd if Heath Slater survives until then.