Marlboro, NJ – Lifetime wrestling fan and proud “smark” Julian Dimagiba, despite having spent the last few weeks complaining about the build for Wrestlemania, is still completely excited to be going to the event.
Dimagiba, the bassist for the band Young Rising Sons and self-described “Master of Ceremonies”, has been taking to Facebook, Twitter, Tout, and various other social media sites to voice his frustration and disappointment over various stories lines leading up to Wrestlemania. “Dude, I don’t know what they’re doing. Cena and Rock again? When they said “Once in a lifetime” for last year’s match, I believed them. Now every week, we get the same boring promos about nothing. The Rock gives me the douche chills and Cena both sucks and blows. If one of his fans comes near me, I might toss them off the balcony. We all know Triple H is going to beat Lesner, so what’s the point? Same with Undertaker beating Punk. I’ve been following Punk since the early days, watching his five-star classics with Chris Hero and Colt Cabana. He should be the one to break ‘Taker’s streak. Oh, and don’t even get me started on Cesaro not having a match. Ugh, I just hate how they ignore the fans!”
Even though he has voiced his complaints to anyone within earshot, Dimagiba is still completely excited to be going to Wrestlemania. His hotel has been booked for months and he plans to attend various WWE events over the weekend.
“Bro, I’ve got it all mapped out. I’m going to the Pro Wrestling Syndicate show on Thursday and Friday nights. Then, I’m going to the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony. Got my tuxedo dry cleaned and everything. I’m going to get so drunk I won’t be able to tell the difference between Jack Briscoe and Jay Briscoe. Sunday is the big event. I’m planning to tailgated in the parking lot with a bunch of my boys. Probably get there around 10am. Going to blast some classic wrestling theme songs while we get our steak on. Then it’s Mania time! Sure, it’s totally going to suck when Cena wins and Daniel Bryan is on for like 2 minutes, but whatever. Finally, I’m going to RAW on Monday. Maybe we’ll get to see the debut of El Generico or maybe someone will return.”
Despite his clear disdain for the WWE and it’s questionable writing and booking, Dimagiba is still excited for the yearly event. “I’m going to Wrestlemania!” he screamed to no one in particular.