Pittsburgh, PA – At 9:18 pm yesterday, lifetime wrestling fan Robert Turcotte suddenly remembered that it was in fact Thursday night and that TNA Impact Wrestling was airing at that very moment. Despite his realization, Turcotte still managed to not watch the program.
“I love wrestling. Always have, always will,” said the 33 year old Data Entry Specialist. “Whenever I come across professional wrestling, I have to watch. Whether it’s WWE, ROH, AAA, CMLL, and even the stuff from Japan, I just love it. I was just sitting on my couch, flipping through channels, when I remembered that it was a Thursday. That’s TNA night. At least, I thought it was. I couldn’t remember if they had switched back from Mondays since it’s been so long since I watched,” said Turcotte. “Is Consequences Creed still with TNA? I always liked him.”
Turcotte went to check the schedule online before becoming distracted by a Chikara video posted to his Facebook. When he returned to his couch, he changed the channel to Spike TV, where he was greeted by a long string of commercials. Out of sheer boredom, he began channel surfing once again. He settled on watching Naked Gun 33 1/3 despite the movie being halfway over and having already seen it 14 times.
With the movie ending at around 10:59, Turcotte accidentally turned back to Spike TV. “Who’s the annoying orange chick speaking to Hogan? Lacey Von Erich?” asked Turcotte, referring to Brooke Hogan. “Whatever, I’m going to bed.”