Headlies: Fan Demands Refund After Watching Illegal Stream Of Royal Rumble

5 Submitted by on Tue, 29 January 2013, 12:00


Chicago, Illinois – Avid wrestling fan Dan DeAmonte demanded a refund from WWE following the Royal Rumble pay-per-view despite watching it via an illegal stream online.

“I’ve been watching WWE for almost all my life and I never miss a show” said the 29 year old Pizzeria Uno cook and self-described “smark”. “Sure, I don’t actually own a TV and haven’t paid for a pay-per-view in six years, but I feel that the WWE really screwed me over with the Royal Rumble. I spent my hard earned money on snacks and internet access and I deserved to see Dolph Ziggler win the Royal Rumble and CM Punk retain over The Rock. They owe it to me and it’s not like they need my money. If Vince can blow $100 million on Linda’s Senate campaigns, they can do the honorable thing and give me $54.99.”

DeAmonte, who owns an external hard drive containing over 10,000 songs, the complete series of The Simpsons, and over 20 movies that are still in theaters, has taken his gripe to the internet in hopes of starting a class-action lawsuit. “Oh dude, the internet wrestling community is so mad. You should have seen my Twitter feed last night. We feel totally disrespected and think we deserve some compensation. If they don’t want to give me money, then maybe they’d take me on as a writer. I have some great ideas that would really turn the company around.”

When asked about possible legal action, WWE lawyer Joel Spitz said, “I cannot publicly comment on any particular case at this time. Rest assured, we take every case very seriously.” While the wrestling company’s lawyers could not comment, both Vince McMahon and Triple H have sent out multiple Touts laughing uncontrollably for the entire duration of the videos.

Asked if he was going to watch a stream of Wrestlemania, DeAmonte simply replied, “Duh. I wouldn’t miss it.”

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
5 Responses to "Headlies: Fan Demands Refund After Watching Illegal Stream Of Royal Rumble"
  1. Brandon says:

    And that’s why the E doesn’t care, because they know that all the fans will still watch regardless.

  2. Jay "The Brain" Mann says:

    That guy looks like he’s always in the FIRST ROW…

    …of his local indie shows.

  3. captainpuertorico says:

    This was brilliant writing. I watch every indy, TNA, and WWE. My current favorites are Daniel Bryan, Punk, Ziggler, Cessaro, Davey Richards, Aries, etc. Other than paying for cable, live show tickets, and a t-shirt every once in a great while, I don’t purchase put much money into a companies product or buy ppvs other than chipping in a few bucks with a bunch of guys for major ppvs a couple of times a year. I recently had a close friend who I grew up watching wrestling with tell me it wouldn’t be worth it to buy the Rumble because he already knes every thing that was going to happen. This same friend never watched any indies but recently told me, after viewing TNA for 3 months, that he was done with WWE and it was shit (after it had been all he watched, outside original ECW because Shane Douglas was our teacher). I have preached Punk and Danielson for years and now, after ripping them for being smaller and not looking like roid freaks, they’re his favorites. He missed the six-sided ring and the Motor City Machine Guns and thinks Aces and Eights is amazing (derp). No matter how much I like one guy or hate one storyline, or all of them, I will never stop watching wrestling. I love it. I know it’s predetermined and huge favorites of mine have fallen by the wayside to politics and shitty writing (Morrison, any current generation Hart relative or friend). But why should that cause me to be bitter and talk about it negatively when it’s given me so much and I’m just going to watch it anyway. It’s like being mad at your wife for putting on weight after she’s given you children…if you are, you’re a douchebag. Besides, I think Punk losing the title will only keep him fresh and trying harder.

  4. Sentok says:

    I think the real problem is that every argument involving the Rumble seems to boil down to dislike of Cena, Rock, or Punk. It’s not an anti-Cena statement when I say I would have much rather the WWE put over stars like Cody Rhodes or Kofi Kingston. I didn’t buy or stream Royal Rumble, but I can still fairly say that I’m disappointed by the outcome.

  5. John Fenner says:

    I ordered it via Pay Per View, legally, and you don’t see me asking for a refund. And Rock holding the title is more of a nostalgia run, not to bury today’s stars. No different from Hogan’s short 2002 reign. So people need to stop whining.

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