Headlies: ERIC BISCHOFF TOUTS TNA’S RATINGS VICTORIES OVER UHF STATION IN IDAHO AS “PROOF OF TNA’S DOMINANCE”

0 Submitted by on Thu, 27 December 2012, 12:58

Text by Justin HenryRD Reynolds, and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds
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ERIC BISCHOFF TOUTS TNA’S RATINGS VICTORIES OVER UHF STATION IN IDAHO AS “PROOF OF TNA’S DOMINANCE”
By Justin Henry

Orlando, FL – TNA Impact Wrestling rarely scores a Nielsen rating above 1.2 these days, but that hasn’t stopped creative director Eric Bischoff from declaring victories in the name of his company.

A recent edition of Impact Wrestling that aired March 29 scored a 1.05 rating, which is more than three times less than rival World Wrestling Entertainment’s Monday Night Raw’s average rating. But that night, a two hour syndication block of classic sitcoms airing on KSAW-LD, a low-fi ABC affiliate in Twin Falls, Idaho, scored a rating of 0.002.

While beating episodes of long-gone programs like Webster and Mr. Belvedere is really nothing to brag about, Bischoff would seem to disagree.

“See what happens when you go up against Total Nonstop Action? Utterly crushed is what you are,” piped Bischoff in a recent Tweet. Another message posted on his Twitter page stated, “Get with the times, Twin Falls. You’re never going to beat Eric Bischoff with a black midget!”

Bischoff was besieged by detractors almost instantly, citing that nobody in their right mind cares about the ratings for a lower tier, locally aired ABC station in a densely populated state, but Bischoff didn’t cave in to this type of thought.

“It’s a competitive environment, you marks!” taunted Bischoff in later tweets. “These clowns could never have come up with the stuff Hervey and I do! We will keep putting Twin Falls in its place!”

In response to a fan commenting that Bischoff, in 1996, would have preferred to beat WWE rather than a somewhat outdated terrestrial station, Bischoff replied, “Yeah, well, your mother flosses with my pubes.”

Bischoff has promised that, on Impact this week, the continuing saga of his son Garrett will ‘totally annihilate’ the episode of Webster where the title character helps the school janitor with his magic act.

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Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)

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