Headlies: Dudley Boyz Have Their Bar Mitzvah, Become Dudley Men

6 Submitted by on Mon, 19 December 2016, 08:00

Brooklyn, NY – World Famous tag team The Dudley Boyz officially changed their name to The Dudley Men following their bar mitzvahs this past Saturday.

The former WWE, ECW, and TNA tag team read from the Torah at Temple Beth Israel in Brooklyn, signifying their ascent into manhood. The ceremony, which was presided over by Rabbi David Shulman, was many years in the making. Among the duos family and friends in attendance were Colt Cabana, Dean Malenko, Bill Goldberg, Noam Dar, and Paul Heyman

“How could we go through our entire lives without ever becoming men in the eyes of the community?” said Bubba Ray Dudley, adjusting the yarmulke on his head. “We won almost every tag team title there is from all over the world, but something was missing. There was an emptiness inside both myself and my brother D-Von.”

“Even back in the ECW days, we used to hear Paul E. talk about his heritage and it always appealed to us,” said D-Von in between bites of challah. “All the flaming table spots in the world to amount to a hill of hamentashen if you’re not a man.”

Under the tutelage of former professional wrestler Barry Horowitz, The Dudleys learned about the Jewish faith, traditions, and the Hebrew language.

“You should’ve seen D-Von’s face when Barry mentioned the circumcision part,” laughed Bubba Ray.

D-Von grimaced and hung his head.

“Don’t worry, D-Von. Put a little ice on it and lets go shtup some shikses,” said Bubba Ray.

“Oh, my brother. Mazel Tov!” shouted D-Von triumphantly

Following their bar mitzvahs, the Dudley Men enjoyed pastrami sandwiches at Katz’s Deli and finished their Hanukkah shopping.

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From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown. If you like horror movies, check out www.365daysofhorrormovies.blogspot.com
6 Responses to "Headlies: Dudley Boyz Have Their Bar Mitzvah, Become Dudley Men"
  1. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    Good one! Started my day off with a laugh. 🙂

  2. John C says:

    JBL was expected to attend until he heard the word Mitzvah after bar.
    “The hell with that nonsense, me and Ron never did like The French anyways.”

  3. AK says:

    Kelly Kelly should have been in attendance too!

    http://jewornotjew.com/profile.jsp?ID=1192

  4. Geoff says:

    I hear Maryse was slated to go but was too busy punching out Miz because he was starring in some movie with Paige…

  5. Gabriel Benson says:

    D-Von!!!!! Get the Dreidels!!!!!!!

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