WWF, Survivor Series 1990

Even before I ever started this silly little site, I long maintained that whenever the book chronicling the very worst of pro wrestling was written, the first guy mentioned should be the Gobbledy Gooker. Thanks to you, my fellow Crappers, I was able to convince someone that I should write that book, and as I had always predicted, the first piece of crap mentioned in said book was, in fact, the Gobbeldy Gooker.

See, there was this egg. And the WWF hyped the ever loving hell out of it for months upon months, with the promise being that it would hatch at the Survivor Series. What an egg had to do with wrestling was anyone's guess, but it didn't stop the WWF ballyhoo machine from going into overdrive.

So months passed and finally the big day was upon us. "Mean Gene" Okerlund no doubt duked it out with such announcing luminaries as Craig DeGeorge and Ken Resnick to be given the honor of being present at the hatching. Sadly, Gene did not sit atop the egg like a mother hen. Instead, he continued the hype job to end all hype jobs , until finally, the egg burst open.

And out popped the biggest turkey pro wrestling had ever seen. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...the Gobbeldy Gooker!

Believe your eyes - the Gooker was nothing more than a man (Hector Guerrero, Eddie's uncle) dressed up in the worst turkey costume you will ever lay eyes upon.

And immediately, the fans HATED him. And not just a little - the crowd turned on the Gooker RIGHT DAMN NOW. It would have no doubt been wise for the WWF to nix the segment at this point, but instead, the bit went on unabated with the Gooker flapping his wings and motioning for Gene to follow him into the ring.

To quote the old Batman TV show, "The worst was yet to come!"

A rock & roll version of Turkey in the Straw began to blare over the loudspeakers in the arena. Despite Gene's protests, the Gooker hooked his arm and the pair began to dance about!
	Eventually, Gene got really into and started gettin' down with his bad ass self. In short... MEAN GENE GOT FUNKAY!
The Gooker ran the ropes, then convinced Gene to do the same. Sadly, Gene fell flat on his face. At this point, the crowd, already agitated, was getting downright pissed off. Old ladies were screaming bloody murder, and six year olds were flipping the bird the bird. But none of this stopped the announce crew of Roddy Piper and Gorilla Monsoon from trying to save things by claiming that the folks in the crowd actually LOVED the Gooker. In fact, Piper went so far as to claim that the kids in crowd had just found a new hero!
	And the segment NEVER ENDED. It just kept going on and on an on and on and on and on, with the Gooker and Gene doing some acrobatics...
...and finally, mercifully, culminating with Gene doing the worst cartwheel this side of Nikolai Volkoff!

Keep in mind that those in Hartford, as well as millions watching on PPV, lost TEN MINUTES of their lives to the Gooker's debut. Ten minutes of their lives, which they would never ever get back.

No wonder we named our annual Worst Gimmick of the Year award "The Gooker!"

As idiotic as all this was, though, I must give credit where it is due: this may have been the single greatest bit of promotion not just by Vince McMahon and the WWF, but in the entire storied history of this great business.

You may laugh, but I speak in earnest.

Think about this: for months, the WWF carted around a giant egg. All the company ever said was that the egg would hatch at Survivor Series. That was it - they didn't say something magical was going to be inside, nor that it would change the course of mankind. Heck, they didn't even say it would impact the show itself. They just said, "We have an egg, it's going to hatch." That's it.

Now think about this - there were people who were actually intrigued by this and spent money to see an egg - a GIANT EGG! - break open at a wrestling show.

If that isn't evidence enough that Vince is, in fact, the greatest promoter who ever lived, I don't know what is.

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- Gene Okerlund: "Everybody has speculated as to what might be in the egg. Is it a dinosaur, is it a rabbit, balloons...is it the Playmate of the Month? Who knows? Well, the way it sounds to me right now the speculating is all over. Stand back - I think that egg is ready to blow!"

Gorilla Monsoon: "What is it?"

Crowd boos LOUDLY.

Gene Okerlund: "Oh my God..."

- Roddy Piper: "They didn't know what to make of him at first, but I think he's won the heart of Hartford!"

Gorilla Monsoon: "He certainly has - or it certainly has!"

- Piper: "Look at the kids, they're going nuts!"