WWE Monday Night Raw 20th Anniversary Results

13 Submitted by on Mon, 14 January 2013, 23:42

rockpunk

 

-Live from Houston, TX

Big Show Confronts Alberto Del Rio

Show first interrupts Vince to complain about the events of Smackdown, and this leads to ADR and Ricardo coming out. Del Rio offers him a rematch tonight, but Show declines, since he’s ‘not ready’. Ricardo gets all cutesy and throws a bucket of Mexican flag confetti on Show, and the duo drive him from the ring. Not the most auspicious of openings, but a match is signed for the Rumble between the two.

0 for 1

Match 1: Wade Barrett def. Randy Orton via Bullhammer (non title)

That’s right, Orton jobbed, and get this: he jobbed clean. Makes you wonder if there was a surprise piss test that morning or something. Maybe Orton volunteered to lose clean in exchange for not being tested? In any event, this was every match you’ve seen between these two. Except Barrett won. Cleanly.

1 for 2

Match 2: Kane def. Damien Sandow via Chokeslam

This stemmed from the Rhodes Scholars provoking Team Hell No during the final phase of their anger management sessions. Kane finished Sandow rather handily.

1 for 3

Hall of Fame: Mick Foley

The selection anyone with WiFi over the past week already knew, that Foley’s the head of the class for 2013. The Shield disrupts the promo, and they find themselves attacked by Ryback, Sheamus, and Orton. Ryback wants to be fed The Shield. Gotta like a man on a mission.

2 for 4

Match 3: Kaitlyn def. Eve Torres via Spear (won WWE Divas Championship)

My goodness, this was the best Divas match on Raw since Lita/Trish in 2004. I’m serious. The two milked the crowd with near falls and non-stop action, and it makes me actually sad that Eve’s leaving. If Kaitlyn had better competition (Beth, Eve, Melina, etc), she could have a healthy reign. A feud with her and AJ seems likely. But yes, track this match down if ya missed it.

3 for 5

Match 4: CM Punk def. Brodus Clay via Anaconda Vice (non title)

Just a shortie to establish that Punk can dominate larger foes handily. Clay may have foreshadowed a heel turn in his pre-match promo, downplaying Punk’s claim that he’s better than dancing with kids, only to lose via submission. Decent little match in any event.

4 for 6

Match 5: Heath Slater wins an over-the-top-rope challenge over Sheamus, Drew McIntyre, and Jinder Mahal

A fluke win where Sheamus beat up the 3MB afterward. Next.

4 for 7

MizTV with Ric Flair

Miz and Flair destroy clothing and beat up Antonio Cesaro when he points out that Flair is a quadravorcee with no money. RD thinks they dug up Lt. Frank Drebin to play Flair tonight.

4 for 8

Match 6: Daniel Bryan def. Cody Rhodes via No Lock

Lasted about 1:15. A waste.

4 for 9

Match 7: John Cena def. Dolph Ziggler via Attitude Adjustment (steel cage match)

This may have been the best Raw match since Ziggler faced Punk in late 2011 for the WWE Title. The second half of the match was full of crazy moves (Dolph’s leaping DDT off the top, Cena kicking the door in Dolph’s face), and a ton of false finishes. If I were the type who puts stock in smarky ratings (and I sometimes am), I’d go ****1/4 easily. Just a hate-filled match that flowed beautifully. The divided crowd was fully behind Cena by the end, and that’s a testament to how much he busted his ass. Dolph? He was Dolph, and the result was magnificent.

5 for 10

The Rock Concert

The only good part was Rock turning a serenade for Vickie into a witty bit about her ugliness. It could have bombed, but his timing made it work. He also coined “Twinkie Tits” for Heyman, so there’s that. He and Punk had a pull-apart at the end, which seemed like an off-note to end on.

6 for 11

Overall, more good than bad, but a bit disappointing. I mean, I’m glad they didn’t use the nostalgia crutch all night long, but I’d have appreciated a little more of the old school.

(Follow Justin on Twitter!)

Written by

Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)
13 Responses to "WWE Monday Night Raw 20th Anniversary Results"
  1. Brian E says:

    Not too bad of a Raw. These milestone shows could be a lot worse, of course. Best parts for me were Ric Flair proving he can still elbow drop his suit jacket and make it look good, The Rock and Mick Foley meeting up backstage (before Vickie arrived), and…well, that was it. Not many legends, and aside from the montages, it would have been any other Raw tonight.

    Oh well, guess that’s all we get nowadays. :p

  2. Luchaporn says:

    I pretty much agree with the whole thing, only problem with Dolph/Cena is that despite being made to look like a threat Dolph has beaten Cena once..he’s like the Atlanta Falcons in the play-offs or something.
    It was kind of disappointing that after last week where Rhodes Scholars looked dangerous, but this week they basically looked completely helpless.

    • Superstarl says:

      That’s the E’s formula though! Introduce bad guy, show you how tough the bad guy is, then job the bad guy out for great lulz and to show how super cool the good guy is!

  3. RD Reynolds says:

    I love Ric Flair, but that segment with him endorsing Miz was absolutely awful. And 1080p is not the Nature Boy’s friend.

    • BigPoppaNasty says:

      Not only was the segment as a whole terrible, but did you hear how apprehensive the crowd was to cheer Miz putting Cesaro in the figure four? Naitch would have gotten a much bigger pop for that. The biggest benefit to having Flair back right now is that he can teach Paul Heyman how to really pull off that fake heart attack.

  4. Peter Santellan says:

    I didn’t know it was possible, but the Miz is a worse face than a heel, and he was pretty terrible as a heel. And yeah, the Divas match was surprisingly good, which truthfully isn’t saying a lot, considering how terrible it’s been.

  5. The Gold Standard says:

    I was wondering if it’s just me or does Ric Flair (who I greatly admire and have enjoyed for many years) suffering from Parkinson’s or Alcohol withdrawls…he was shaking real bad. I know it wasn’t nerves

  6. John Darc says:

    Oh sweet, they unlocked the Braden Walker induction.

  7. Andrew says:

    It wasn’t great but it wasn’t bad either. I guess they put a lot into the 1000th episode show and couldn’t think of anything really to do, Would have like a Taker appearance but I bet they are waiting till just before the Rumble or after for a return, maybe as late as February.

  8. Shawn Doc Girt says:

    kinda glad i missed it. seemed like a typical Raw show with a lot of one sided matchez n no big surprisez to make ya wanna watch it.

  9. Scrooge McSuck says:

    I don’t get the WWE. They promote the don’t be a bully stuff, then have Rock make fun of Vicki for being ugly and Paul Heyman for being fat? I won’t bother with the “beauty is the eye of the beholder” stuff, but that seems pretty counter-productive. The Rock’s “making fun of other’s for their physical appearance” comedy belongs in a different era.

  10. Phil Melcher says:

    Ziggler was brilliant in that cage match. That man could sell Pixy Sticks to a Diabetes clinic!

  11. Cassidy says:

    Does WrestleCrap not do SmackDown reports? If not, I happen to know a very gifted writer who could contribute in that manner (and any other manner needed). By “gifted writer”, I of course mean me.

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