This Halloween, one of my favorite directors, Kevin Smith, has a new movie coming out, Zac And Miri Make A Porno. Now while I'm sure it'll be a funny movie (plus movie with Traci Lords cannot suck. Well actually, I should probably rephrase that statement), I'm sure he looks back at his first film, Clerks, with fond memories. I only wish I could say the same thing about my first "movie."

Yes, as a youngster, I always dreamed of being a big Hollywood director, and to that end, I would attempt to make movies with my camcorder, hoping one day to make it big when I was older. Well, that never happened, but in the spirit of both Halloween and WrestleCrap, I feel it's appropriate to pay homage to my first ever homemade movie, 1988's Freddy Vs. Jason.

Now, I know when the big studio's version came out in 2003, a lot of people were disappointed. Maybe fans would've been happier had they cast OUR Jason. Yes, forget Kane Hodder, CJ Graham or Ari Lehman, here's the real Jason...

...played by none other than WC Radio legend, Don. (Note from RD: Don Mason). Please note that horrible tie-dyed green with white stains collared shirt Don aka Jason is wearing, which looks like something the Jolly Green Giant used as a nut rag.

In our Friday the 13th/Elm Street universe, it appears Jason is less concerned about killing naked babes, and is content playing pocket pool alongside a tree.

That is, until the magic of stop motion brings us the arrival of everyone's favorite child murderer, Freddy Krueger.

One solid left hook to the dome of Jason by Freddy (played by both yours truly, Blade Braxton and Corey Diamond) and the war of the century is about to begin. Sadly, it is not too much of a contest. In fact, it's not much of a "movie" either. To quote Gorilla Monsoon, a "pier six" wrestling brawl breaks out, one which would showcase Jason dominating Freddy with an arsenal of tactics, one including the side suplex.

Jason was clearly the man in charge here. Whether it was kicking Freddy's skull in...

... or trying his best to imitate Verne Gagne with his repeated suplexes and scientific knowledge, it appeared Freddy was in trouble.

He needed help. If Jason was gonna forget the knives and machetes and try to go the wrestling angle to defeat his opponent, Freddy would do the same. Mr Krueger would receive wrestling help in the form of a run-in. A run in my none other than...
Michael Myers...

And it worked. He would help Freddy turn the tide of the battle, and put Jason almost down for the count. As a wrestling fan, there are images that stick with you forever. One famous one is Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, perched atop the cage in Madison Square Garden ready to pounce on a fallen Don Muraco. Well Superfly, eat your heart  out at the site of Freddy  Krueger...ready to strike from the top  of a child's backyard swingset / monkey bars combo!!!

With one giant leap for mankind (or kids who have no business making "movies" in their backyard), Freddy made the leap, and appeared to finish off our cum-stain shirt wearing menace.

A happy and apparently victorious Freddy celebrates. Celebrating his victory that is, and not the beauty his red and black sweater he's wearing. A sweater which by the way, has a nice urine yellow stripe running across the middle of it. But, as 9 sequels have shown, you can't keep a hockey masked man down, and Jason revives back from the dead, and delivers a three-point stance tackle on Freddy, one that would make Hacksaw Duggan proud, and gets the victory.

Or does he? Actually, I think myself, one Blade Braxton gets the victory in all of this nonsense. After all, there may be some of you out there who plunk down some hard earned cash to see this "movie" in it's entirety, found exclusively and only on the brand new WrestleCrap Archive disc.

The thought of someone buying that disc to see this "movie?" More frightening a concept than anything Jason or Freddy ever did.

Bonus: From Crapper Lanny's Perm Juice, here's the "trailer' to Blade and Don's Freddy Vs. Jason movie...