WWF,
Late 90's
I
could easily sum up this entry in one sentence.
"The
WWF, in their infinite wisdom, once decided
to have a match in which the competitors attempted
to throw each other in dog shit."
Period,
the end.
Thanks
for visiting WrestleCrap.com, see you in seven.
What's
that? You need more details? Oh, all right.
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For
reasons I don't care to remember (and
please do not email me what they were,
because I really, REALLY don't care),
The Rock & Sock Connection (Rock
& Mick Foley) were engaged in a
mini-feud with Val Venis and Davey Boy
Smith. |
| The
four men brawled about the backstage
area and through arenas, until finally,
the score needed to be settled.
No
mere cage would do the trick.
Dog
collars? That's for sissies!
No,
there was only one type of match barbaric
enough to declare a winner from in this
rivalry. |

|
| 
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And
for that, you needed lots and lots of
DOG SHIT. |
| Poor
Mick Foley was given the unenviable
task of scooping up doggie droppings
(although to be fair, I am sure it was
just mud or something) as the
Rock explained the process by which
they would use it against their foes.

I
do not know what level of hatred you
must have for your nemesis to plot and
strategize exactly how you would use
feces as a weapon, but it damn well
must be pretty deep.
Mick
came back as someone of his dorkily
cool nature would - with
an Airplane reference. 
Say
what you will about Mick's willingness
to fall off cages or the fact that he
lost an ear for the sake of this business.
That stuff all pales in comparison with
his agreeing to shovel up dog crap for
a sake of an angle.
That,
dear reader, is dedication to one's
craft. |

|
| 
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The
point of the match was, of course, to
throw your opponent into the canine
feces.
Time
out.
<RANT>
You know, I have been doing this site
for years, and I have written about
a lot of DUMB stuff. Characters like
the Gobbeldy Gooker. Angles like Big
Show getting thrown off the roof of
an arena, only to re-appear without
a scratch mere minutes later. But I
never - NEVER - thought I would be writing
about a bout in which the goal was to
heave your opponent into actual SHIT.
Of all the stupid things I have ever
covered, this may well be the stupidest
of the stupid. And that's saying something.
</RANT>
So
the boys do their standard match, before
Mick, deciding that even he isn't hardcore
enough to land in dung, takes Val to
the backstage area. |
| That
leaves us with Rock and Davey Boy... |

|
| 
|
...and,
of course, poor ol' Davey Boy took the
dive into the platter o' poop, as Michael
Cole and Jerry Lawler screamed on.
 |
And
that was pretty much that. Davey and Rock
had a match at the following PPV, and Smith
was pretty much fazed out afterwards.
All
I ask is that as his son makes his upcoming
debut, he doesn't suffer a similar fate.
Rock: "We got the tray
right here. The Rock says he wants you to
take all the poop, we're gonna take all the
poop and shine it up real nice."
Mick
Foley: "I don't think you could shine
that stuff up!"
Foley: "I think Scraps
is a boy dog!"
Michael Cole: "Oh no!
A Rock Bottom into the dog poop! A Rock Bottom
into the dog poop! The Dog Poop! The Dog Poop!
The Dog Poop! The Dog Poop! The Dog Poop!"